5w6 infj
When Im functioning in a healthy mode I tend to be a pretty realistic if not optimistic person, but when Im in an unhealthy state of mind I often feel like I shouldnt bother trusting anyone or anything at all given the trends Ive observed so far. I often wander off because something interests me and then wish I werent alone at some point along the way, and sometimes feel that way so strongly that I get depressed. I often feel paranoid for no reason as well. All the negativity reinforces barriers that I put up against people and the world until I feel safe enough to lower them again. This has caused me to lose quite a few friends, Im afraid. The worst part is that I saw it coming every time it happened.5w6 INFJ and misanthropyWhen Im functioning in a healthy mode I tend to be a pretty realistic if not optimistic person, but when Im in an unhealthy state of mind I often feel like I shouldnt bother trusting anyone or anything at all given the trends Ive observed so far. I often wander off because something interests me and then wish I werent alone at some point along the way, and sometimes feel that way so strongly that I get depressed. I often feel paranoid for no reason as well. All the negativity reinforces barriers that I put up against people and the world until I feel safe enough to lower them again. This has caused me to lose quite a few friends, Im afraid. The worst part is that I saw it coming every time it happened.
Originally Posted by ningyo
When Im functioning in a healthy mode I tend to be a pretty realistic if not optimistic person, but when Im in an unhealthy state of mind I often feel like I shouldnt bother trusting anyone or anything at all given the trends Ive observed so far.
Well, considering how rare intelligence is and how much rarer loyalty is, you are going with the right odds. However, after you realize that fact (that most people are trash), you can than use your intelligence to set filters up to find what you want. Also, if you already are extremely paranoid than you know you are in an unhealthy state of mind and that needs to be dealt with first and foremost.
Originally Posted by ningyo
I often wander off because something interests me and then wish I werent alone at some point along the way, and sometimes feel that way so strongly that I get depressed. I often feel paranoid for no reason as well.
Intelligence isolates, no doubt about it. I honestly feel more alone in a crowd than by myself, because when Im in the crowd and see/hear how people act; I truly begin to grasp how meaningless it all is. If you really feel that alone, get a pet (so you dont become dependent on the next friend to feel good i.e. not alone). I did that, and yes I still feel alone, but it helps.
Originally Posted by ningyo
All the negativity reinforces barriers that I put up against people and the world until I feel safe enough to lower them again. This has caused me to lose quite a few friends, Im afraid. The worst part is that I saw it coming every time it happened.
Of course it does, it acts as a self-fulfilling prophecy. Once the fear train starts rolling, it doesnt stop easily. Honestly, your biggest problem here is yourself. All of these problems exist in your own mind. You need to be comfortable being yourself, by yourself. Work on that. You cant control the world, only your interpretation of it.
You want to know the truest phrase that was ever uttered? Doesnt matter, Im gonna tell you anyways, "This too shall pass".
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