【托福寫作批改】（41）28分托福獨立寫作範文

zhuanlan.zhihu.com

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement.

One can learn a lot about a person from the type of friends the person has.

As the social media becomes more and more prevalent these days, many people quickly expand their social circle and make new friends. While some people believe that much can be learned about a person by looking at him/her friends, I fon』t(don』t) think so. Instead, talking with a person face to face, or learn (learning) about a person』s parent may be more helpful.

First, as friends are the ones that a person hang out with and talk very often, they must be who the person likes and have common topics with, so (表示原因和所以的as和so不能同時出現，建議刪除這個so，並拆分成兩個句子) by looking at someone』s friend, we sure can learn something about that person. But the truth is, different friends of one person can vary from each other（vary可以獨立成謂語結果，不需要修飾，刪除from each other） dramatically. Take my self as an example. Emily and Jack are both my best friends. While Emily is quiet and enjoy（平行結構，建議替換成fond of） reading alone the most, Jack is extremely active and sometimes even aggressive. It』s hard to determine what I am like by simply observing the behavior of my friends as the personalities of my friends aren』t unanimous.

So （So放在這裡做銜接並不合適，建議刪除）instead of trying to learn a person through his/her friend, a better alternative would be to talk to that person face to face. Your eyes and ears can』t deceive you when you are actually interacting with the person. Emily once have（had） to cooperate with a boy called Roy at my school to finish a project. Before they met, they had （應使用過去完成，插入had）several discussion about the project on social media. These days, Emily always complain to me that Roy seems like an indifferent person as his reply is always slow and sometimes wvwn（even） ignores the messages from Emily. I was surprised by this, as Roy is famous in our school for being warm-hearted and devoting. Finally, Emily and Roy decide to meet face to face, when Emily suddenly find out that the slow responses isn』t because Roy』s passive attitude, it』s just because Roy doesn』t have the habbit of checking his cell phone very often. All preconception on Roy dissolved, and Emily finally learn（learned） about Roy as a person through real contact. It is the face to face meeting that allows one to know a person.（這一段時態使用比較混亂）

What』s more, knowing one』s parents is a good may（way） to figure out how a person is like. Because（Because不可以單獨成句，建議合併到上一個句子） the parents play the most significant role in cultivating and developing the children』s personality. Our math teacher is a very experienced but highly demanding middle-aged women with two daughters, who doesn』t allow us to make any mistake repeatedly on the exams. If we unluckily did commit the same mistake again, she would punish us by doing another 10 questions of the same type. This serious and responsible way of teaching is reflected in her personality, and thus, in the conduct of her daughters. They are extremely well behaved, decent, and infallible, always appears to be polite to others. This is because （插入of）the education and way of indoctrination of their mother. It is evident that we can look at one』s parent to predict the type of person one is likely to be.

In conclusion, talking to a person face to face and learn（learning） about the person』s parents may be a（刪除） better way（ways） to know more about a person than looking at（evaluate） the person』s friend.

看到這樣的高分文章總是讓人很激動，考生語言質量整體來講比較高，但高手在緊張的時間裡也會犯傻，比如第三自然段的時態混亂。總之，瑕不掩瑜，還是一篇不錯的高分範文。