最肉麻的英文土味情話，看完不吐請找我！

最近土味情話火的那叫一個一塌糊塗，轟轟烈烈。

土味情話，指的是那些聞者噁心、聽者肉麻，膩死人不償命的，具有鄉（想）土（吐）氣息的惡俗情話，一瞬間真覺得自己招架不住。

土味情話如果換成英文？還是土......

今天一起來感受下

你最近是不是又胖了？

為什麼你在我心裡的分量越來越重了呢？

Are you getting fat lately?

Why are you weighing more and more in my heart？

你好，我在找一條路

它叫阿一西呆路

Hi, Im looking for a road.

Its called I Love You.

（備註：阿一西呆路就是日語的「我愛你」。。）

甜有100種方法

吃糖、吃蛋糕

還有每天想你98次

There are 100 ways to feel sweet.

Eating sugar, eating cakes,

and thinking about you in 98 ways every day.這是我的手背

這是我的腳背

你是我的寶貝

This is the back of my hand.

This is the back of my foot.

And youre at the back of my heart.

你長得很像我一個朋友誒

像我女朋友

You look just like one of my friends.

My girlfriend.

莫文蔚的陰天

孫燕姿的雨天

周杰倫的晴天

都不如你和我聊天

Cloudy day, rainy day, sunny day.

None of them values more than a day in which you talk to me.

——你有打火機嗎？

——沒有

——那你是怎麼點燃我的心的？

--You have a lighter?

--No.

--Then how did you set my heart on fire?

你猜我是什麼血型？

我是你的理想型

Do you know what my blood type is?

Im the ideal type that you want

.

你猜我的心在左邊還是右邊

它在你那邊

Which side do you think my heart is on? Left or right?

Its on your side.

你累不累啊

你都在我心裡跑了一天了

Are you tired?

Youve been running in my heart for a whole day.

你知道我為什麼感冒嗎？

因為我對你完全沒有抵抗力

Do you know why I got a cold?

Because Im totally not immune to you.

你知道我想吃什麼嗎？

我想痴痴地望著你

Do you know what I wanna eat?

Anything that can make me able to see you.

被你贊過的朋友圈

叫甜甜圈

Any of my Moments that youve put a thumb on

is called a doughnut Moment.

——我喜歡上一個小哥哥了。

——那他一定很帥。

——你太自戀了。

--Ive got a crush on a guy.

--Then he must be handsome.

--Oh, you are such a narcissit.

你有罪

你偷走了我的心

You are guilty.

For you have stolen my heart.