How Mkt Managers Should Approach Online Dating

來自專欄當我用duree這個筆名時我在寫什麼4 人贊了文章

Michelle, a girlfriend of mine, has deleted all her dating apps again. 「I feel hopeless. I dont think my luck with dating apps will get any better. Those guys just dont care.」

She told me over dinner near Union Square tonight, 8:30 pm, because thats the usual time she checks out at the office. This is the 6th year of her working at as a marketing professional, and she got promoted last Spring to a manager.

「I put in so much work on the guy, and I dont want JUST a date.」

「What do you mean you dont just want a date?」 I asked.

「When I agree to meet up with my matches, I dont just agree to a date. I actually think very thoroughly about the other person. To me, two strangers talking online and then finally meeting up in real life means they are working towards a relationship.」

「Thats true that meeting up is a crucial moment in online dating. But still, its just a date,」 I shrugged. 「You just meet and talk, and you get to know each other. Its nothing more than a HR phone screening.」

Michelle loves her job, and she talks about work all the time. Getting work done for her is much easier than getting from the first date to a relationship. This doesnt quite make sense to me.

「Hahahaha,」 she did like my work analogy. 「No its different. You dont judge the person who interviews you at work, but you do judge your dates all the time.」

「No, you judge your interviewers too. When youre just sending your resume to everybody in town, yes youre 100% open to everything. But when its the phone interview stage, youve started to think about how much you like this company and how much youll weigh in.」 I said, 「just like online dating!」

「You found this persons dating profile, and you liked his skiing photos. So you agreed to meet him and learn more about him. At this point, this is the time you are forming an understanding about him.」

「Oh! I always front loaded my understanding upon the other person before we meet. So many many times, I just feel conflicted because he feels different from what I thought hed be.」

「Yes, youre overthinking before the actual understand-each-other session happens, and youre bringing some incomplete impression with you, which impacts how you actually get to know him.」

「I mean, I want to be prepared for the date, just like being prepared for any meeting. Im so prepared, and I expect the other person to be the same. Thats why I feel terrible when they get me to a place because they actually want to eat there, not because they want to make the two of us work.」

「But thats how dating is supposed to be. You date because you want to enjoy your Friday night, or Sunday afternoon. You want someone to share some time, some good food, and a couple drinks.」

「Haha, youre not suggesting date is not about relationship right?」

「You know what? It really isnt.」

「Think about when youre at work, youre just planning a series of campaigns. Your CMO told you the KPI of these campaigns are A and B and C and D. What will you do? You will definitely tell him, 『no boss, one campaign can only optimize towards one result.』 Right, you cannot have it all.」

「Just like dating, especially when you two have just started to replace the virtual attraction to face-to-face interaction. Its a campaign in which you dont even know the launch date. You can only allocate the money in and have it run as an one-off. Just one simple date.」

「Just see how this date goes, dont judge him, but judge yourself on whether you had fun or not. The way he sneezed or the color of his socks really dont matter. If you enjoyed the food or the drink he recommended, thats really good enough.」

「If that campaign goes well, you can select another date to have it run again. If it doesnt, you also learn something, which isnt bad either. Only campaigns that continue to perform will get a long-term investment, and those become the always-on.」

Michelle was very surprised about my analogy, but it ultimately clicked for her.

「So, now you just need to reset your campaign KPI. Just mind one thing, and one thing only, which is whether you』re happy. If you are, then we are moving on to do another campaign, and nurture the relationship step by step.」