六級沒過也能和外國人談笑風生，他是怎麼做到的？

22 人贊了文章

How Those Who Communicate Confidently In Cross-Cultural Situations Do It

(This article expands on another recent article of mine related to this topic. Some content is repeated.)

（本文在我之前一篇文章的基礎上做了補充和拓展，部分內容可能有重複。）

The other day, I was shooting some videos with a colleague, and relying on her input and guidance to help me perform well in them. We finished shooting without any problems. In our morning meeting the next day, however, she happened to mention that she thought I was speaking too fast in the videos. When I asked her why she didn』t tell me this while we were shooting, she said, because she didn』t want to offend me.

有一天，我跟一位同事一起在錄我們的視頻課程，我負責主講，她負責關注我的錄製狀態並且需要給我一些指導反饋。拍攝過程十分順利，很快就結束了。但在第二天晨會的時候她不經意提起，我昨天錄製的時候語速太快了。我問她，為什麼當下不指出呢，她表示，她不想得罪我。

I said, 「You know, it would have really helped if you told me to slow down yesterday. Why did you think you』re going to offend me? I even encouraged you for your thoughts and comments to help me do this better. So whatever you had to say, I』d have viewed as feedback, not criticism. Trust me, if I don』t feel comfortable about something you say, I』ll let you know. No big deal.」

我說，「如果你昨天能告訴我的話其實會更好。為什麼你覺得會得罪我呢？我事先也說過，如果我拍攝狀態有問題的話歡迎隨時指出的，這樣我們的錄製效果才會更好。你說的我都會當作是反饋，而不是刻意批評。相信我，如果你說的話讓我覺得不舒服了，我也會很坦誠地告訴你，這不是什麼大事。」

Do you overthink and hold back too much?

你是不是想得太多，說得太少？

This incident captures the biggest reason why many Chinese professionals don』t perform as well as they could in cross-cultural business situations. Actually, you often have something to say. You have something to contribute to a situation. But you lack the confidence to say it. You overthink things when dealing with foreigners, like me. You think about things I don』t really care about. Or think I』ll react to something in a way that I wouldn』t. Because of this, you hold back. You don』t speak out to share your thoughts and ideas that could be helpful to me.

這類情況讓我想通了為什麼很多中國職場人士在跨文化工作環境中都表現平平。你其實有很多想法，也有為團隊作貢獻的能力，但你沒有自信大膽表達自己，你和外國人打交道的時候都想太多了，會擔心很多其實外國人一點都不在意的事情。因為顧慮的事情太多，所以才藏著掖著不敢表現，不敢把那些實際上非常棒的想法分享給大家。

With China becoming more global and global-caliber in many ways, performing well in cross-cultural business situations is becoming increasingly important. As a talent industry professional for 20+ years, I』ve met many people who speak very good English. Many have done international business for a long time, studied and worked abroad, and taken cross-cultural training courses. But they still can』t perform confidently and effectively in international business situations, so contribute less than what they are capable of to them.

現如今，中國在各方面都變得越來越國際化。在跨文化工作環境中是否能夠表現出色，也成為更多人看重的能力。我從事了二十多年獵頭及人才發展培訓工作，碰到過很多英語講得特別溜的人，他們有些跟外國人共事過很長一段時間，或者在國外留學、工作過，抑或是上過跨文化培訓課程。但他們依然沒能夠遊刃有餘地應對跨文化環境，他們實際所作出的成績，遠低於自身的能力。

I also know people who have never lived or worked abroad. Their English is not especially fluent, but good enough. They haven』t been in many cross-cultural situations before. Yet, they communicate very well with people from other countries and contribute more. How are they able to do this?

相對的，我也碰到過很多人，之前從沒在國外生活過，英語沒有很順溜，但也能夠應對基本交流了。他們沒有什麼跨文化經歷，但依然能夠和外國人很好地交流、合作。那麼，他們又是怎麼做到的呢？

It』s not about your English skills

你的英語好不好，不是重點

Well, for one, they don』t view their English skills as the key factor for their ability to perform well in cross-cultural situations. For many others, however, it』s an easy excuse for why they can』t communicate with foreigners or handle international business situations well.

一個原因就是，在他們心裡，英語水平並不是決定他們是否能在跨文化環境中遊刃有餘的關鍵因素。但很多人都會輕易地把自己無法和外國人順利溝通，或者處理不好國際工作環境，歸咎在英語不好這件事上。

But as a boss, senior executive, and native English speaker who』s been working here for over 20 years, for 90% of the people I meet who tell me that their English isn』t good enough, to me, it』s fine. As a foreigner, I』m not nearly as critical of your English skills as you are. In fact, I don』t care about your grammar, accent, or how slowly you talk. As long as I can understand you and you can understand me, which is usually the case. So for many of you, your English skills are already good enough for you to communicate effectively with foreigners and handle the cross-cultural situations you』re in.

但作為一個老闆、高管，以及英語母語者，我在這裡工作了二十多年，碰到的那些跟我說自己英語不好的人中，有90%在我看來都說得蠻好的，或者足夠好了。作為一個外國人，我其實都沒有像你們自己一樣對英語水平要求那麼高。說實話，我並不在乎你的語法是不是對，口音是不是純正，或者你講話速度是不是太慢。對我來說，我們能夠理解對方在說什麼就足夠了，一般情況來說我們也是可以互相理解對方的。所以朋友們，相信自己，你們的英語水平已經足夠好到可以跟外國人高效溝通並且適應跨文化環境了。

How you say things matters more

你說的話，才是關鍵

But if you still worry about saying something wrong or inappropriate when communicating with others in cross-cultural situations, here』s a key insight and tip for you. As important as what you say is how you say things. Because in any new and/or unfamiliar situation, it』s hard to know what is too direct, too personal, or too sensitive. It』s hard to know how the other person thinks. So the way you say things matters a lot.

如果你還是擔心自己的英語，怕說錯話，那我可以給你幾個小建議。你說話的方式跟你想說的話是同樣重要的。因為當一個人身處陌生環境的時候，還是比較難判斷什麼話對別人來說太直接，或者什麼話題太私密、太敏感，同時也比較揣摩對方的心思。所以你說話的方式就特別重要。

To help you in these situations, here are some tried and true lines that I use all the time. I use them because they show a lot of humility and self-awareness, and your desire to understand something better. Here are the lines.

我常用的這些句子大家可以學習一下，這些簡單的句子就能體現出你的謙遜以及對自我清晰的認識，表現你想要進行更順暢的溝通。

• Do you mind if I ask . . .
• I』ve heard before that . . . How true is this?
• Could you please explain to me . . . ?
• Could you let me know what you think about . . .?
• I』m not sure if this is correct, but . . .
• I may be missing something here, but . . .

The first line, especially, 「do you mind if I ask,」 is one that I use a lot when talking to someone that I』m not that familiar with or just starting to work with. Sometimes, I』ll even say it 5-6 times in one meeting. It』s a great way to say something because it indicates that I』m aware that what I』m about to say might be sensitive or direct. That I』m not quite sure if what I』m about to say is right, or not. It shows that I』m humble and respectful.

第一句句子是我跟不太熟悉的人聊天時常用的。有時候可能要問5到6次「你介不介意我問這個」。這是個很好的問題，暗示了你意識到接下去說的話可能會有點敏感，你不太確定是不是對的，而在對方看來，你所呈現的心理狀態則是非常誠懇、充滿敬意的。

What』s worth noticing about the first four lines, in particular, is that they』re all questions. And the significance of this is that it』s very hard to be offensive, to say the wrong thing, or to make somebody feel uncomfortable when you』re asking a question. Because, in effect, you』re asking for the other person』s permission. And indicating to them that you may not understand something well. So could they please help you understand the situation better? From my personal experience, even if what you say in the second half of these lines is direct, a little too personal, or potentially sensitive, people will respond to it in the right way. I guarantee that if you use them, you』ll be able to communicate more confidently in any situations with people from different countries and different backgrounds.

值得注意的是，前四句話都是問句。而當你真誠向人提問的時候，實際上是很難冒犯到別人，或者說錯話，讓人家不開心的。因為這些句子代表著你正在徵求他們的許可，表示你覺得自己理解得不是很透徹，詢問別人是否能多幫你了解一下。就我的經驗來看，如果你用了這些句子當開頭，那麼接下來即使你問了一些比較敏感的問題，對方也會好好回答的。我保證，這些句子會幫你在任何跨文化環境下都能自信地和外國人溝通。

So continue to develop your English skills. And develop your cross-cultural understanding. It』ll only help you. My key point is, you don』t have to be so strong in either area to communicate effectively with foreigners in your second language. As someone who relies on others to be successful in cross-cultural business situations, the most important thing I want from you is to not overthink and hold back what you have to say. Instead, I just need you to speak out and share your thoughts with me in the first place. What will help you be more confident doing this is recognizing that your input, feedback, and ideas are extremely important. And that by saying things in particular way, whatever you say will be taken in the right way.

英語要活到老學到老，對跨文化的理解也是，這對你自身的幫助是非常大的。我想說的是，在跟外國人溝通時，英語並不需要特別好。我和其他外籍老闆一樣，需要你們在跨文化商業環境中幫助我們，一起取得成功，那我們對你的期待就是，不要想太多，說太少。相反的，希望你可以在發現問題或者有什麼想法的時候都能第一時間說出來。要知道，你的想法，反饋，聰明的點子對我們來說都非常重要，而了解到了這點，是不是也能讓你變得更自信呢。最後就是，用對說話方式，因為你如何對待別人，別人就會如何對待你。

8月20日，職商網平台最新的系列視頻課程《More Than Career English: 如何在國際企業加速職業發展》已經正式上線！在提升你職業英語水平的同時，更能助你成長為具有國際化水準的專業人士。

課程現已在【網易雲課堂】等平台上線，更有系列課程簡介和預覽課程可搶鮮觀看！點擊鏈接：More Than Career English 查看詳情或購買！

課程早鳥價：69元