[美劇] 摩登家庭/Modern Family 全集第1季第1集劇本完整版
4 人贊了文章
[美劇] 摩登家庭/Modern Family 全集第1季第1集劇本完整版
劇本 台詞 字幕 筆記 中英文對照 純英文 學英語 文本 PDF 文檔 電子版 紙質版
《摩登家庭》是ABC電視台於2009年推出的一部情景喜劇，播出以後便收穫好評如潮，在2010的艾美獎上斬獲6項大獎，風光無限.
2010年播出季度的第一集，18-49歲年齡段的收視率為5.1，這一成績甚至超過了《生活大爆炸》（4.8），成為當之無愧的喜劇之王.
第三季第1集18-49歲年齡段的收視率達到了6.1，並且在艾美獎上橫掃喜劇獎項。
該片以偽紀錄片的攝製方式[展開全文]
《摩登家庭》是ABC電視台於2009年推出的一部情景喜劇，播出以後便收穫好評如潮，在2010的艾美獎上斬獲6項大獎，風光無限.
2010年播出季度的第一集，18-49歲年齡段的收視率為5.1，這一成績甚至超過了《生活大爆炸》（4.8），成為當之無愧的喜劇之王.
第三季第1集18-49歲年齡段的收視率達到了6.1，並且在艾美獎上橫掃喜劇獎項。
該片以偽紀錄片的攝製方式，故事緊緊圍繞三個家庭展開：一對老少夫妻，一對同性戀夫妻，還有一對看似正常，實則相當鬧騰的中年夫妻.
該劇演員表演功力深厚，台詞的笑點反而退居其次，演員們滑稽的表演定會讓您捧腹.
【劇本】：
Kids, breakfast! Kids? Phil, would you get them? Yeah, just a sec.
=>孩子們，早餐！孩子嗎？菲爾，你會得到他們嗎？是的，只是一秒鐘
That is so - Kids, get down here! Why are you guys yelling at us? When were way upstairs, just text me.
=> 就是這樣 - 孩子們，下來吧！你們為什麼吼我們？當我們在樓上時，只要給我發簡訊。
All right, thats not gonna happen, and, wow, youre not wearing that outfit.
=> 好吧，那不會發生，哇，你沒穿這套衣服。
Whats wrong with it? - Honey, do you have anything to say to your daughter about her skirt? Sorry? Oh yeah, that looks really cute, sweetheart! Thanks! - No, its way too short, people know youre a girl you dont need to prove it to them.
=> 它出什麼問題了？親愛的，你有什麼話要對你的女兒說她的裙子嗎？抱歉？噢，那個看起來真可愛，甜心！謝謝！ - 不，這太短了，人們知道你是一個你不需要向他們證明的女孩。
Luke got his head stuck in the banister again.
=> 盧克又一次把頭埋進了欄杆里。
I got it.
=> 我知道了。
Wheres the babyoil? - Its on our bedside tab I dont know, find it.
=> 嬰兒油在哪裡？ - 我們不知道，在我們床頭的標籤上找到它。
Come on! Iwas out of control growing up.
=> 來吧！我失控了，長大了。
There, you know, I said it.
=> 在那裡，你知道，我說過。
I just dont want my kids to make the same bad mistakes I made.
=> 我只是不想讓我的孩子們犯同樣的錯誤。
If Hayley never wakes up on a beach in Florida, half-naked Ive done my job.
=> 如果海莉從來沒有在佛羅里達州的沙灘上醒來，我已經完成了自己的工作。
OUR job.
=> 我們的工作。
- Right Ive done our job.
=> - 對，我做了我們的工作。
That was a penalty! Gloria, theyre 0 and 6, lets take it down a notch.
=> 這是一個懲罰！格洛麗亞，他們是0和6，讓我們把它降到一個檔次。
Were very different.
=> 我們非常不同
Hes from the city.
=> 他來自這座城市。
He has big business.
=> 他有很大的生意。
I come from a small village.
=> 我來自一個小村莊。
Very poor, but very, very beautiful.
=> 很差，但非常非常漂亮。
Its the number one village in north Columbia for all the whats the word? - Murders.
=> 這是北哥倫比亞最大的村莊，這個詞是什麼？ - 謀殺。
Yes, the murders.
=> 是的，謀殺。
Manny, stop him! Damn it, Manny! Come on, coach! Youve gotta take that kid out! You wanna take him out? How about I take you out!? Honey, honey Why dont you worry about your son! Hed spend the first half with his hands in his pants! I wanted to tell her that for the last six weeks Im Josh, Brians dad.
=> 曼尼，阻止他！該死的，曼尼！來吧，教練！你得把那個孩子拿出來！你想把他帶出去嗎？我帶你出去！親愛的，親愛的你為什麼不擔心你的兒子！他會把上半身用雙手撐在褲子上！我想告訴她，在過去的六個星期里，我是布賴恩的爸爸喬希。
- Hi, Im Gloria Pritchett Mannys mother.
=> - 嗨，我是Gloria Pritchett Manny的母親。
Oh, this must be your dad.
=> 哦，這一定是你的爸爸。
Her dad? Uh, no, no, thats funny.
=> 她的爸爸？呃，不，不，這很有趣。
Actually, no.
=> 其實沒有
Im her husband.
=> 我是她的丈夫
Dont be fooled by the uh Give me a second here.
=> 不要被這個呃騙了。
Actually no, Im her husband! Dont be fooled by the Give me a second here.
=> 其實不，我是她的老公！不要被這個給我一個騙了。
Shes adorable! - Oh, thank you! Hi, Precious - Hello.
=> 她很可愛！ - 哦謝謝！嗨，珍貴 - 你好。
Weve just adopted her from Vietnam and were bringing her home for the first time.
=> 我們剛從越南收養她，我們第一次帶她回家。
Shes an angel.
=> 她是天使
You and youre wife must be thrilled! Sorry, sorry, sorry, daddy needed snacks.
=> 你和你的妻子一定是激動人心的！對不起，抱歉，爸爸需要零食。
So, what are we talking about? We have been together for five years now? And we decided we really wanted to have a baby so, we initially asked one of our lesbian friends to be a surrogate Then we figured, theyre already mean enough, can you imagine one of them pregnant? No, thank you.
=> 那麼，我們在說什麼？我們在一起已經五年了？我們決定我們真的想要一個孩子，所以我們最初問我們的一個女同性戀朋友是一個替代品然後我們認為，他們已經夠意思了，你能想像其中一個懷孕嗎？不，謝謝。
You saw that right? Everybody fonding up to Lillian, then you walk on and suddenly its all Im gonna give a speech.
=> 你看到了嗎？每個人都喜歡Lillian，然後你繼續前進，突然間我就要發表演講了。
- You are not giving a speech you gonna stuck with this people for the next five hours! - Youre right, its okay, Im sorry.
=> - 你沒有發表演講，你會在接下來的五個小時里和這個人保持一致！ - 你說得對，沒關係，我很抱歉。
Honey, look at that baby with those creampuffs.
=> 親愛的，用那些膏霜看那個嬰兒。
Okay, excuse me.
=> 好的，對不起。
But this baby would be growing up in a crowded orphanage if it wasnt for us creampuffs and you know what, to all of you who judge, hear this, love knows no race, creed or gender and shame on you! You small minded, ignorant fe- Mitchell? - What? Shes got the creampuffs.
=> 但是，如果這個嬰兒不是我們的吸血鬼，那麼這個嬰兒就會在一個擁擠的孤兒院里長大，而且你知道嗎，對於你們所有的人來說，聽到這個，愛對你沒有種族，信仰或性別的羞辱！你心胸狹窄，無知的米歇爾？ - 什麼？她有奶油。
We would like to pay for everyones headsets.
=> 我們想支付每個人的耳機。
MODERN FAMILY SEASON 1 EPISODE 1 Buddy, why do you keep getting stuk like this? I can get out this time.
=> 現代家庭節日1節目1好友，你為什麼繼續得到這樣stuk？我這次可以出去
Im just gonna say it he needs to be checked by a specialist.
=> 我只是想說，他需要由專家檢查。
There! Be free, Excalibur! Im having a friend over today.
=> 那裡！免費，神劍！今天我有一個朋友。
- Who? You dont know him.
=> - 誰？你不認識他
- Him? Ooh, a boy! You gonna kiss him? - Shut up.
=> - 他？哦，一個男孩！你會吻他？ - 閉嘴。
Luke, Alex, why dont you take it outside, okay? - And do what? Fighting a son, it would be a nice change.
=> 盧克，亞歷克斯，你為什麼不把它放在外面，好嗎？ - 做什麼？打一個兒子，這將是一個很好的變化。
Im kidding! Whos the boy? - His name is Dylan I might as well just tell him not to come, because you guys are just going to embarrass me again.
=> 我在開玩笑！那男孩是誰？ - 他的名字是迪倫我不如告訴他不要來，因為你們會讓我再次難堪。
Hang on a second, youre fifteen, its the first time youve had a boy over.
=> 等一下，你十五歲，這是你第一次有一個男孩。
Im bound to be a little suprised, but Were not gonna embarrass you! Id better go charge the camcorder.
=> 我一定會有點驚訝，但我們不會讓你難堪的！我最好給攝像機充電。
Im kidding! Come on! Who are you talking to? Im a cool dad.
=> 我在開玩笑！來吧！你在跟誰說話？我是一個很酷的爸爸。
Thats my thang.
=> 那是我的勝利
I surf the web, I text.
=> 我在網上衝浪，我發簡訊。
LOL, Laugh Out Loud, OMG, Oh My God WTF, Why The Face You know, I know all the dances to High School Musical, so.
=> 大聲笑，OMG，哦，我的上帝WTF，為什麼面對你知道，我知道高中音樂的所有舞蹈，所以。
MOM! DAD! - What happend? Luke just shot me! - I didnt mean to! Are you okay? - No, the little bitch shot me! Language! Theyre only plastic bbs! It was an accident! What did I tell you what happened if you got him a gun? Deal with this! Buddy Uncool.
=> 媽媽！爸！ - 發生了什麼？盧克剛剛開槍了！ - 我不是故意的！你還好嗎？ - 不，小婊子開槍了！語言！他們只是塑料BB！這是一個意外！如果你拿了他的槍，怎麼辦？處理它！好友Uncool。
Thats it? No, the agreement was that if he shoots someone you shoot him.
=> 而已？不，協議是，如果他射殺某人，你就射殺他。
We were serious about that? Yes, we were and now you have to follow through.
=> 我們對此很認真？是的，我們是，現在你必須遵循。
Im so sorry! - Liar.
=> 我很抱歉！ - 騙子
Go! - Hes got a birthday party.
=> 走！他有一個生日派對
Whats more importand here, dad? You can shoot him afterwards, hell be home at two.
=> 爸爸，更重要的是什麼？之後你可以開槍，他會在兩點回家。
- I cant shoot him at two, showing our house at two.
=> - 我不能在兩個人打他，把我們的房子在兩個。
What about three? No, hes at a soccergame at three, and then Oh, we gotta leave for that dinner thing in five.
=> 那三個呢？不，他三點出現在一場足球比賽中，然後哦，我們得在五點吃晚飯。
- Yeah, I guess that works for me.
=> - 是的，我想這對我很有用。
Shoot Luke.
=> 射擊盧克。
- Sorry dude, its on the calendar.
=> - 對不起，夥計，在日曆上。
Oh, come on! Im quitting soccer, it is a game for children.
=> 哦，來吧！我退出足球，這是一個兒童遊戲。
No, youre not quitting.
=> 不，你沒有放棄
You wouldve stopped that goal if you werent staring at that little girl.
=> 如果你不盯著那個小女孩，你會停止這個目標。
She is not a girl, she is a woman.
=> 她不是女孩，她是女人。
- Well yeah, but thats when you live down here but I live up here! You dont have to be so emotional all the time, thats all Im saying.
=> - 好吧，但那是你住在這裡的時候，但我活在這裡！你不必總是那麼激動，就是我所說的。
Manny, youre with me on this, right? - I wanna tell Brenda Feldman I love her.
=> 曼尼，你跟我在一起，對吧？ - 我想告訴布蘭達費爾德曼，我愛她。
Oh, for Gods sake.
=> 哦，看在上帝的份上。
Honey, shes 16.
=> 親愛的，她十六歲
- Oh, its okay for you to take another lover? Watch it! I want to go to the mall where she works.
=> - 哦，你可以帶一個愛人嗎？看它！我想去她工作的商場。
But first we need to get my white shirt, the silk one.
=> 但是首先我們需要把我的白色襯衫，絲綢襯衫。
Okay, if thats what you really want to do.
=> 好的，如果那是你真正想要做的。
Seriously, not to be the evil stepdad, but if you put on a puffy white shirt and declare your love for a 16-year-old youre gonna be swinging from the flagpole in your puffy white underpants! Stop the car! Where you going? You hurt his feelings.
=> 嚴重的是，不要成為邪惡的繼父，但如果你穿上一件白色的襯衫，並宣告你對一個16歲的人的愛，你就會從你的蓬鬆的白色內褲的旗杆擺動！停車！你去哪？你傷害了他的感情。
- Well, if it toughens him up a little bit, then oh, jeez, hes picking flowers! Manny is verry passionate, just like his father.
=> - 好吧，如果他讓他變得有點緊張，那麼哦，他正在摘花呢！曼尼和他的父親一樣熱情洋溢。
My first husband is very handsome, but too crazy.
=> 我的第一任丈夫非常英俊，但太瘋狂了。
It seemed like all what we did was fight and make love.
=> 看來，我們所做的一切就是打架和做愛。
One time, Im not kidding you, we fell out of the window together.
=> 有一次，我不是在跟你開玩笑，我們一起掉在窗外。
Which one were you doing? Im hearing this for the first time! This doesnt worry you? She barely slept in the plane, and shes stil wide awake.
=> 你在做哪一個？我第一次聽到這個！這不擔心嗎？她幾乎沒有睡在飛機上，她仍然清醒著。
- Oh, stop worrying! That orphanage, it was all woman.
=> - 哦，別擔心！那個孤兒院，全是女人
Maybe she cant fall asleep unless she feels a womans shape.
=> 也許她不能入睡，除非她感覺到一個女人的形狀。
I guess thats possible.
=> 我想這是可能的。
So, here.
=> 所以在這裡。
- What the hell is that suppose to mean? Yes, Ive gained a few extra pounds while we expecting the baby.
=> - 這到底是什麼意思？是的，當我們期待寶寶時，我已經增加了一些額外的體重。
Which has been very difficult.
=> 這是非常困難的。
But, apparently your body does a nesting, very maternal primal thing, were it retains nutrients.
=> 但是，顯然你的身體做了一個嵌套，非常母性的原始東西，是否保留了營養。
Some sort of molecular physiology thing.
=> 某種分子生理學的東西。
But thats science, you cant fight it.
=> 但那是科學，你不能與之抗爭。
Im not saying anything.
=> 我什麼都沒說
Youre saying everything.
=> 你在說什麼
Count to three, one, t - Three.
=> 數到三，一，三 - 三。
- Okay.
=> - 好的。
Oh my God, do you love it? -Yes, I What the hell is that? I had Andre do it when we we were gone.
=> 哦，我的天啊，你愛嗎？ - 是的，我到底是什麼？當我們離開的時候，我有安德烈做的。
Is that us? With wings? Were floating above her, always there to protect her.
=> 是我們嗎？有翅膀？我們正在她的上方，總是在那裡保護她。
Well, thats reassuring, right Lilly? Yeah, we tore you away from everyting you know, but dont worry, things are normal here.
=> 那麼，這是令人放心的，對禮來？是的，我們把你從你知道的東西上撕下來，但是不要擔心，這裡的事情是正常的。
Your fathers are floating fairies! Can you call Andre? Have him paint someting a little less gay? We need to stop having friends with names like Andre.
=> 你的父親是漂浮的仙女！你能打給安德烈嗎？讓他畫少一些同性戀？我們需要停止與安德烈這樣的名字的朋友。
Redheaded dad is angry daddy.
=> 紅髮爸爸是生氣的爸爸。
- No Im not.
=> - 不，我不是。
- Yes, you are.
=> - 是的，你是。
Even Pepper pointed it out on the way home from the airport.
=> 即使是胡椒從機場回家的路上指出了這一點。
- Okay, thats another one, Pepper! Okay, whats up? I I never told my family we were adopting a baby.
=> - 好的，那是另外一個辣椒！好的，怎麼了？我從來沒有告訴我的家人，我們正在養嬰兒。
I know.
=> 我知道。
- You do? And I dont blame you, I know your family.
=> - 你做？我不怪你，我了解你的家人。
You tell them, they say something judgemental.
=> 你告訴他們，他們說了一些判斷。
Exactly! - You get mad.
=> 究竟！ - 你生氣了。
I know, and its supposed to be nothing, but joyful suddenly turns into this huge fight.
=> 我知道，這應該是沒有什麼，但快樂突然變成這個巨大的戰鬥。
Who wants a big emotional scene like that? Thank you, Im so relieved you understand.
=> 誰想要這樣一個大的情感場景？謝謝，我很放心你的理解。
I invited them over for dinner tonight.
=> 我邀請他們今晚吃晚飯。
What? - I had to! This would have gone on forever.
=> 什麼？ - 我不得不！這將永遠持續下去。
Youre an avoider.
=> 你是一個避免者。
No, Im calling them now, Im cancelling.
=> 不，我正在給他們打電話，我正在取消。
- No, youre not! Youre telling your family youve adopted a baby, tonight.
=> - 不你不是！你今天晚上告訴你的家人你收養了一個孩子。
And you do have avoidance issues; even Langina said so! Are you really not hearing these names? Dont answer it, ill get it! Hey, you must be Dylan.
=> 你有避免問題;連Langina也這麼說！你真的不知道這些名字嗎？不要回答，我會得到它！嘿，你一定是迪倫。
- Hey, Dylan, yeah.
=> - 嗨，迪倫，是的。
Im Haleys mother.
=> 我是哈利的媽媽
Hey, now, lets go.
=> 嘿，現在，我們走吧。
Hang on one second.
=> 等一下
Dylan Youre still in High School? - Yeah, Im a Senior.
=> 迪倫你還在上高中？ - 是的，我是一名高級。
Phil, sweetie, honey.
=> 菲爾，親愛的，親愛的。
He is Dylan and he is a seniorand you need to scare him.
=> 他是迪倫，他是你需要嚇倒他的一個前提。
Let me meet this playa.
=> 讓我見面吧。
Phil Dunphy, yo! Its like that, you just start down on him and let the eyes do the work.
=> 菲爾·鄧菲喲！就是這樣，你就開始盯著他，讓眼睛做這個工作。
Your mouth might be saying: Hey, we cool! But your eyes are like: No, we not! Nice to meet you! No, its not! S all good? No, s it isn Yo.
=> 你的嘴可能會說：嗨，我們很酷！但你的眼睛是這樣的：不，我們不是！很高興見到你！不，這不對！ 「一切都好？不，這不是喲。
- Yo.
=> - 呦。
Okay, Ive seen you guys- - Wait You two two keep it real? You know what it mean, son? Not really.
=> 好吧，我見過你們 - 等等你們兩個保持真實？你知道這是什麼意思，兒子？不是真的。
Please stop.
=> 請住手。
- Thats cool! Oh, God, thats my back! Ow, oh, I slipped in the baby oil.
=> - 這很酷！哦，上帝，那是我的背影！噢，我在嬰兒油里滑了一下。
Ooh, where you from originally? I could defeat you if it came to a physical confrontation! I dont know about this, shall I call a doctor? - No, no, no, no.
=> 哦，你從哪裡來？如果發生身體對抗，我可以擊敗你！我不知道這個，我可以打電話給醫生嗎？ - 不不不不。
Youre verry strong, homes.
=> 你很強大，家庭。
- Thanks.
=> - 謝謝。
Okay, nice, nice soft landing Okay, I am on my side, so flip me right back and were good.
=> 好吧，不錯，軟著陸好吧，我在我身邊，所以我馬上回來，我們很好。
Well be good.
=> 我們會很好的。
I just need to get flipped right on my back, we should be fine, so.
=> 我只需要背對背，我們應該沒問題，所以。
Brenda Feldman.
=> 布倫達費爾德曼。
What is that? - A poem ive written for Brenda Feldman.
=> 那是什麼？ - 我為布倫達·費爾德曼寫的一首詩。
Of course that is.
=> 當然是。
- I put my thoughts into words, and now my words into action! Ey, I give you 50 bucks not to do this.
=> - 我把自己的想法變成文字，現在我的話變成行動！ 「哎，我給你50塊錢不要這樣做。
Im eleven years old, what am I gonna do with money? What are you gonna do with a sixteen year old? Its like a bullfight! Ever see a bullfight? I cant watch this.
=> 我十一歲了，我要用錢做什麼？你怎麼處理一個十六歲的孩子？這就像鬥牛！曾經見過鬥牛？我看不到這個
Youre in such a bad mood.
=> 你心情不好
And I know why.
=> 我知道為什麼。
Its because that man thought you were my father.
=> 那是因為那個人以為你是我的父親。
- No.
=> - 沒有
- Yes.
=> - 是的。
- NO.
=> - 沒有。
When you say no like that, its always yes.
=> 當你不這樣說的時候，總是肯定的。
Come on, were in the mall, lets get you, like, some younger clothes theres a store there that I know - I dont need any younger clothes! And I dont care what some jackass in a pair of ripped jeans thinks about me.
=> 來吧，我們在商場，讓我們來找你，就像一些年輕的衣服那裡有一家商店，我知道 - 我不需要任何年輕的衣服！而且我不在乎一雙破洞牛仔褲里有什麼東西在想我。
Good, you shouldnt.
=> 好，你不應該。
You should only care what I think.
=> 你應該只關心我的想法。
So stop being a gloomy goose, and stop being so hard on Manny.
=>所以不要成為一隻黯淡的鵝，不要在曼尼那麼辛苦。
- The only reason Im hard on Manny is just because I dont wanna see him make a fool of himself.
=> - 我對曼尼很難的唯一原因就是因為我不想看到他自己做了一個傻瓜。
And I can smell that hairgoo of his from here! Look, I dont know whats gonna happen to him over there but youre his family now.
=> 我可以從這裡聞到他的髮型！看，我不知道那邊會發生什麼，但是現在你是他的家人了。
And that means only one thing.
=> 而這隻意味著一件事。
You be there wind in his back, not the spit in his face! What? Something my mom always says, its gorgeous in Spanish.
=> 你在他背後的風，而不是在他的臉上吐口水！什麼？我母親總是說的東西，西班牙文是華麗的。
Look, hes there.
=> 看，他在那兒
She has a boyfriend.
=> 她有一個男朋友。
I gave her my heart.
=> 我給了她我的心。
She gave me a picture of me as an old-time sheriff.
=> 她給了我一張舊時警長的照片。
That was pretty stupid of me, wasnt it? No, mi amore, it was brave, right, Jay? Brave.
=> 那簡直太愚蠢了，不是嗎？不，我愛你，對，傑伊？勇敢。
I b youll know better next time.
=> 我b你下次會更好。
Come on! Lets get a pretzel.
=> 來吧！讓我們來一個椒鹽脆餅。
Oh, excuse me, sir? We ask that all mall-walkers stay to the right.
=> 哦，對不起，先生？我們要求所有商場步行者保持在正確的位置。
Alex, get out! MOM! Alex, leave your sister alone! I was just getting my book, gosh! - I know sweetie, but you need to respect their privacy.
=> 亞歷克斯，出去！媽媽！亞歷克斯，離開你的妹妹！我剛拿到我的書，天哪！ - 我知道親愛的，但你需要尊重他們的隱私。
- What are they doing up there? - Nothing, lying in her bed, watching a movie.
=> - 他們在那裡做什麼？ - 沒什麼，躺在床上，看電影。
Okay Okay Im making a cake for tonight, you wanna help me with the frosting? Sure.
=> 好的，我今天要做一個蛋糕，你想幫助我結霜嗎？當然。
So, you know if Haley got pregnant, would you ever pretend she got mono for a few months and then tell everyone the babys yours? What? A senior at school was out sick for four months, but she was out breastfeeding in an cleanup carwash.
=> 所以，你知道如果海莉懷孕了，你會假裝她單身幾個月，然後告訴大家寶寶是你的嗎？什麼？學校的一名高年級生病了四個月，但是她正在用清潔洗車進行母乳餵養。
Buddy, what are you wearing? - Nothing.
=> 老兄，你在穿什麼？ - 沒有。
No jacket, no hat.
=> 沒有夾克，沒有帽子。
How many pairs of underwear do you have on? - One Six.
=> 你有多少雙內褲？ - 一個六。
First of all, it would be really cool to see Haley that fat, and how awesome would it be to have a fake little brother whos really my nephew? Haley is not getting pregnant! Im just saying if.
=> 首先，看到哈利這個胖子真的很酷，有一個真正的小兄弟真的是我的侄子有多棒？海莉沒有懷孕！我只是說如果。
I know, and I know you like to make trouble for your sister, but its not gonna work this time.
=> 我知道，我知道你喜歡為你的妹妹惹麻煩，但這次不行。
You know why? Cause your sister is a good girl.
=> 你知道為什麼？因為你妹妹是個好女孩。
I know, I was just like her when I was I want you to know, Im not enjoying this.
=> 我知道，當時我就像她一樣，我想讓你知道，我不喜歡這個。
This is an important lesson that youre leaning, so.
=> 所以，這是一個重要的教訓。
S all good, keep it Youre too close, its gonna hurt.
=> 「一切都好，保持它你太靠近了，會受到傷害。
- Its supposed to hurt! And why are you smiling? Im What? Oh, forget it.
=> - 它應該受到傷害！你為什麼微笑？什麼即時通訊？哦，忘了吧。
I cant do this.
=> 我不能這樣做。
The point is, youre scared.
=> 問題是，你很害怕。
I think youve learned your lesson.
=> 我想你已經吸取了教訓。
Mom?! What are you doing? - Hey, I was just dropping off some laundry, this is a bad time? Yeah Oh, okay.
=> 媽媽？！你在做什麼？ - 嘿，我剛剛洗衣服，這是一個糟糕的時間？噢，好吧。
Can you shut the door, please? Actually, were just go ahead and leave that open.
=> 你能關上門嗎？事實上，我們只是繼續前進，並保持開放。
Why? Because I have, uh, seen this little show before: Lying on the bed with a tall senior.
=> 為什麼？因為我有，呃，看過這個小節目：躺在床上，一個高個子。
one minute youre just friends, watching Falcon Crest, and the next youre lying underneath the air-hockey table with your bra un-pocket! Mom! You hit my bone! - It was an accident! I thought we were friends! - I am your friend! Dad?! Dad, you have got to talk to mom, she is like completely freaking out and emberassing me.
=> 一分鐘，你只是朋友，看著獵鷹冠軍，接下來你躺在空氣曲棍球台下，胸罩沒有放在口袋裡！媽媽！你打我的骨頭！ - 這是一個意外！我以為我們是朋友！ - 我是你的朋友！爸？！爸爸，你得和媽媽說話，她就像是完全嚇壞了我。
Well, honey, youre mom isnt always as cool about things as I What is with this thing! My dad, isnt completely comfortable with This, ehum, he still does this thing.
=> 親愛的，你媽媽並不總是像我這樣的東西那麼冷靜！我的爸爸對這個不是很滿意，他還是這樣做的。
Its been five years now.
=> 現在已經五年了。
And he still does this thing were he announces himself before walking into any room were in.
=> 而他在走進任何房間之前還是自己宣布自己的東西。
Just to make sure he doesnt ever see us kiss.
=> 只是為了確保他沒有看到我們的吻。
Wish my mother had that system.
=> 希望我的母親有這個系統。
Remember? - Not now.
=> 記得？ - 不是現在。
I still cant beleve you did this to me! - Would you get in the spirit of things! Its a celebration! Oh God.
=> 我還是不能保證你對我做了這個！ - 你會在事情的精神！這是一個慶祝活動！天啊。
Im gonna go get Lily ready, and I want you to just come straight out with it, you can do this! Sportsguy-chest-bump, sportsguy-chest-bump! Do it, GO! Hey, how are you? Hi, guys! Well thank you, thanks.
=> 我要去準備莉莉，我要你直接出來，你可以做到這一點！運動胸胸部，運動胸胸部！做吧，去吧！嘿，你怎麼樣？嗨，大家好！那麼謝謝你，謝謝。
- Dont thank us open it, dad is right behind Knock, knock, were here! Coming in! - Dont worry, dad, nothing gay going on here.
=> - 不要感謝我們打開它，爸爸是在背後，敲，敲，我們在這裡！進來！ - 不要擔心，爸爸，沒有什麼同性戀在這裡。
May I take your multicoloured coat and your bejeweled cap? Yeah.
=> 我可以把你的彩色外套和珠光寶氣的帽子？是啊。
Hey, Jay.
=> 嘿，傑伊。
- Gloria, hi! How are you? Hi Gloria, how are you? What a beautiful dress! Thank you, Phil! - Oh, okay.
=> - 格洛麗亞，你好！你好嗎？你好，格洛里亞，你好嗎？多麼美麗的禮服！謝謝，菲爾！ - 哦好的。
Phil! She said "Phil," not "feel!" So how was your trip? - It was good, it was good, actually, but about that, I have something that I need to tell you guys.
=> 菲爾！她說「菲爾」，而不是「感覺！」那麼你的旅程如何？ - 這很好，實際上是好的，但是關於這個，我有些事情我需要告訴你們。
We didnt just go to Vietnam for pleasure.
=> 我們不只是去越南玩。
We kinda have some big news.
=> 我們有一些重大的消息。
Oh, God, if Cam comes out there with boobs, Im leaving! Dad! - I hope he didnt embarrass you, mom.
=> 哦，上帝，如果Cam從胸部出來，我就走了！爸！媽媽，我希望他不要讓你難堪
Dont mind her, Haley had her first boy over today, and Phil shot him.
=> 不介意她，哈利今天有了第一個男孩，菲爾開槍打死了他。
Anyway, so about a year ago, Cam and I sort have feeling this longing for something more like, maybe a baby.
=> 無論如何，大約一年前，Cam和我都覺得這種渴望更像是一個嬰兒。
Whoa, thats a bad idea.
=> 哇，這是一個壞主意。
What do you mean, bad idea? - Well, kids need a mother! I mean, if you two guys are bored, get a dog! Were not bored, dad! I support you, Mitchell, even though youre not my son.
=> 你是什麼意思，壞主意？ - 孩子們需要一個母親！我的意思是，如果你們兩個很無聊，就去找一條狗吧！爸爸，我們不覺得無聊我支持你，米切爾，儘管你不是我的兒子。
I think what dad is trying to say is that, Mitchell, youre a little uptight, kids bring chaos and you dont handle well.
=> 我想爸爸想說的是，米切爾，你有點緊張，孩子們帶來混亂，你處理不好。
Thats not whats its saying what you saying.
=> 這不是說你在說什麼。
And its insulting in an whole different way.
=> 這是一個完全不同的方式的侮辱。
Okay, people, lets all chillax! Wheres uncle Cameron? - Finally, thank you, someone whos not insulting me noticed hes not here.
=> 好吧，讓我們都來吧！叔叔卡梅倫呢？ - 最後，謝謝你，不侮辱我的人注意到他不在這裡。
So, thats the big announcement.
=> 所以，這是一個大的公告。
You two broke up.
=> 你們兩個分手了
Stop, stop, you come into my house and you insult me and my boyfriend, who is, by the way, not that dramatic! Weve adopted a baby.
=>停下來，停下來，你進入我的家，你侮辱我和我的男朋友，順便說一句，這不是那麼戲劇化！我們收養了一個孩子
Her name is Lilly Exciting! Just turn it off.
=> 她的名字是禮來激動人心的！把它關掉。
- I cant turn it off, its who I am! The music! - Oh, yes, the music.
=> - 我不能把它關掉，我是誰！音樂！哦，是的，音樂。
Come say hello, Lilly.
=> 來打個招呼吧，莉莉。
Lilly? Isnt that gonna be hard for her to say? - Phil.
=> 禮來？這難道不難說嗎？ - 菲爾。
Excuse me Okay, I know that I said I thought this was a bad idea.
=> 不好意思，我知道我說過我覺得這個主意不好。
But What do I know? I mean, Its not like I wrote the book on fatherhood.
=> 但是我知道什麼？我的意思是，這不像我寫的父親的書。
Im trying whole my life to get it right, Im still screwing up.
=> 我正在努力完成我的生活，但我仍然搞砸了。
Right, Manny? I wrote a song about it in the car.
=> 對，曼尼？我在車裡寫了一首關於它的歌。
- Of course you did.
=> - 當然，你做到了。
Anyway, Im happy for you.
=> 無論如何，我為你感到高興。
And you should know that Im not here to spit in your face, Im here to blow at your back.
=> 而且你應該知道，我不是在這裡吐口水，我在這裡吹你的背。
Its supposed to sound better in Spanish.
=> 這聽起來應該用西班牙文聽起來更好。
Anyhow, Mitch.
=> 總之，米奇。
No, dad, its I got it, I got it.
=> 不，爸爸，我知道了，我知道了。
She wants her daddy.
=> 她想要她的爸爸。
- Do you wanna meet grandpa? You kidding? Shes one of us now! Let me see that little potsticker! Hey, youre a cutie, arent you! Were from different worlds.
=> - 你想見爺爺嗎？你在開玩笑嗎？她現在是我們中的一員！讓我看看那個小鍋子！嘿，你是個可愛的人，不是嗎！我們來自不同的世界
Yet we somehow fit together.
=> 然而我們以某種方式融合在一起
Love is what binds us.
=> 愛是什麼約束我們。
Through fair or stormy weather.
=> 通過公平或暴風雨的天氣。
I stand before you now with only one agenda To let you know my heart is yours, Feldman, Brenda I mean seriously! Luke, so far, he hasnt beaten me at basketball.
=> 我現在站在你面前只有一個議程讓你知道我的心是你的，費爾德曼，布倫達我的意思是認真的！到目前為止，盧克在籃球上並沒有把我打敗。
Get that! Will you step out of my kitchen! Could you just do me a favour and just grab Hows the weather down there? But, when the day comes that he does win, if, you know, if when he beats me.
=> 懂嗎！你會走出我的廚房！你能幫我一個忙嗎？抓住那邊的天氣怎麼樣？但是，如果有一天他贏了，如果他打我的話。
Im just gonna be like, well done! Well done! Just let him, just support him.
=> 我只是會喜歡，幹得好！做得好！只要讓他，只是支持他。
In that kind of stuff.
=> 在那種東西。
Im probably just wanna go like,
=> 我可能只是想去，
推薦閱讀：