7月28日雅思大作文範文2 | 犯罪類話題怎麼破?

7月28日雅思大作文範文

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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens. Some people therefore think that they are the best people to talk to school students the danger of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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高分範文

01

Many criminals can be reformed people after they serve their time in jail. [習語表達：serve the/somebody』s time] Since their faults have been rectified [原形rectify], I would, if I were a school principal, [故意設計一個虛擬語氣，豐富語法現象] invite those ex-criminals to help my teachers foster students』 good behavior.

02

The primary consideration is that [引導表語從句] those former offenders』 real-life cases are lessons that are more convincing than what an effective teacher could be. Teachers may [在這裡不表可能性，表讓步] demonstrate numerous examples in their classes; however, those cases may not be as authentic andcompelling as they should be until they are told by an ex-criminal in person. Teachers may [在這裡不表可能性，表讓步] be role models in behavior; students may however develop no clear awareness of abiding by [abide by the rules unless they actually see the consequences of breaking them.[兩個長難句組成此段落的重要內容，注意比較teachers和ex-criminals的對比，是內容設計的關鍵] Both situations are where [引導名詞片語] reformed ex-criminals should be invited into classrooms.

03

In addition, teachers do not compare with [這個片語用主動語態時意義為「比得上」] ex-criminals for their likely patronizing [原形：patronize or intimidating [原形：intimidate] attitude is undesirable. Those corrected and changed criminals are otherwise humble. When patronized or frightened [原形：frighten], students, young and prone to be rebellious, may be provoked [原形：provoke] and act against rules knowingly. This is a risk that no school would like to take.Instead, a modest attitude is more welcome. Former criminals, unlike teachers, who may act like saints, are regretful about the harm and damage they have caused and thus often adopt a gentle and moderate attitude. [長難句]

[如果可以在body部分設計2-3個長難句，也就2-3個足夠了，語言表述部分會有提分]

04

In conclusion, it is an adoptable proposition that [引導主語從句] former offenders who have turned over a new leaf [習語表達：turn over a new leaf] can be good teachers for students learning to behave. Since they have changed, they are safe. Most importantly, they have the potential tooutperform professional teachers.

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