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學生作文：

It is noticeable that expenditure of diet takes the role of all consuming, and that mental payment is the least popular part of all.

In Turkey, the amount of consuming in diet, especially food, drinks and tobacco, was the highest percentage, reaching 28.91% in total, compared to other nations. The equivalent figure for Ireland was 28.91%, approximately 4% less than that of Turkey. Similarly, the number of Spain was the third highest proportion of consumer expenditure , totaling 18.80%,about 8% more than that of Italy, as well as around 3% more than the corresponding figure for Sweden.

The year 2002 saw a similar proportion of purchasing in three different countries, including Ireland, Spain and Turkey which was respectively 6.43%, 6.51% and 6.63%. However, the number of them were about 3% less than that of Italy. This was similar to Sweden, reaching 5.40%. When it came to pay for leisure and education, all of these nations had the lowest percentage of all, learning in Turkey was only 4.35%.

01 It is noticeable that expenditure of diet takes the role of all consuming, and that mental payment is the least popular part of all.

分析：注意不要亂同義詞替換，你用diet替換food, drink and tobacco, 第一tobacco不屬於diet，第二，考官在表格里找不到diet這個東西，所以著就會造成task response丟分。同理這裡也沒有關於mental的東西

修改：It is noticeable that expenditure on food, drinks and tobacco took the leading role of all catalogues, and that the spending on leisure and education was the least popular one of all.

02 In Turkey, the amount of consuming in diet, especially food, drinks and tobacco, was the highest percentage, reaching 28.91% in total, compared to other nations.

分析：consuming這個詞的意思是消耗，就是說你的意思是消耗了這些東西。題目說的是花費，跟消耗是兩個概念，還有這個數值應該是32.14%

修改：In Turkey, the consumer spending on food, drinks and tobacco, had the highest percentage, reaching 32.14% in total, compared to other nations.

03 The equivalent figure for Ireland was 28.91%, approximately 4% less than that of Turkey.

分析：其實我想equivalent在這裡是什麼意思想了一會，你應該說是這個分類

修改：Irish spending on this catalogue was 28.91%, approximately 4% less than that of Turkey.

04 Similarly, the number of Spain was the third highest proportion of consumer expenditure , totaling 18.80%,about 8% more than that of Italy, as well as around 3% more than the corresponding figure for Sweden.

分析：totaling是很奇怪的表達

修改：Similarly, Spain saw the third highest proportion of consumer expenditure on these items, at 18.80%, about 8% more than that of Italy, as well as around 3% more than the corresponding figure for Sweden.

05 The year 2002 saw a similar proportion of purchasing in three different countries, including Ireland, Spain and Turkey which was respectively 6.43%, 6.51% and 6.63%.

分析：你這句話沒有寫是哪一個分類

修改：The year 2002 saw a similar proportion of expenditure on clothing and footwear in three different countries, including Ireland, Spain and Turkey at respectively 6.43%, 6.51% and 6.63% respectively.

06 However, the number of them were about 3% less than that of Italy. This was similar to Sweden, reaching 5.40%

分析：前後兩句是是轉折關係，是比較關係

修改：By contrast, the proportions of them were about 3% less than that of Italy.

07 This was similar to Sweden, reaching 5.40%

分析：這個可以寫是最小值，他們並不相似

需改：The spending on clothing and footwear stood at the bottom at 5.40%

08 When it came to pay for leisure and education, all of these nations had the lowest percentage of all, learning in Turkey was only 4.35%.

分析：由於考生不會抓取圖表的重點信息，導致最後一列就一句話了。這個我真沒法改了，我就只能改一下語法了

修改：When it came to the expenditure on leisure and education, all of these nations had the lowest percentage, compared with other two kinds of products and services, which Turkish spending 4.35 on them, which was the highest figure in this catalogue.

修改後的範文

It is noticeable that expenditure on food, drinks and tobacco took the leading role of all catalogues, and that the spending on leisure and education was the least popular one of all.

In Turkey, the consumer spending on food, drinks and tobacco, had the highest percentage, reaching 32.14% in total, compared to other nations. Irish spending on this catalogue was 28.91%, approximately 4% less than that of Turkey. Similarly, Spain saw the third highest proportion of consumer expenditure on these items, at 18.80%, about 8% more than that of Italy, as well as around 3% more than the corresponding figure for Sweden.

The year 2002 saw a similar proportion of expenditure on clothing and footwear in three different countries, including Ireland, Spain and Turkey at respectively 6.43%, 6.51% and 6.63% respectively. By contrast, the proportions of them were about 3% less than that of Italy. The spending on clothing and footwear stood at the bottom at 5.40%. When it came the expenditure on leisure and education, all of these nations had the lowest percentage, compared with other two kinds of products and services, which Turkish spending 4.35 on them, which was the highest figure in this catalogue.