中關村二小回應「校園霸凌」事件:偶發行為,不構成欺凌

最近,一篇名為《每對母子都是生死之交,我要陪他向校園霸凌說NO!》引爆網路,將大眾的視線吸引到校園霸凌上來。

文章作者描述了兒子於11月24日在學校遭到兩名同學用廁所垃圾筐扣頭的遭遇。

上周四,課間操時,他一個人去衛生間小便,隨後同班的兩個男生跟了進來,一個堵在他所在隔間的門口大喊:「xxx我要打開門看看你的屁股!」由於那個隔間的門鎖壞了,兒子很怕,很怕那個一直找他麻煩的胖子會衝進來,他想要趕快尿完跑出去,就在這時,另一個男生從旁邊的隔間扔下了一個垃圾筐,正砸在他的頭上,尿和擦過屎的紙灑了他一臉一身。那兩個男生見狀,哈哈哈一陣嘲笑跑走了,全程不到一分鐘,而就這麼短的時間是沒有其他孩子在場的,這是個只有他一個人的空檔。

According to the article, the boy was humiliated by two other students in a toilet on November 24th. The author wrote that one pupil blocked the toilet door saying "I want to see your ass," while the other one threw a garbage bin with used toilet paper and urine onto her son"s head. The two boys laughed at her son and ran away, wrote the mother, saying the whole process lasted less than one minute.

孩子邊哭邊清理自己,晚上回家後,他把這件事情告訴了家長。

文章提到,在經歷了「被垃圾筐扣頭」以後,孩子被診斷為「急性應激障礙」,這是一種精神疾病,表現為重度焦慮。

After having a toilet waste-paper basket thrown on his head and being mocked by other classmates, the fourth-grade boy was diagnosed with acute stress disorder, a mental illness characterized by severe anxiety, according to the article published online.

孩子的父親王先生將此事上報海淀區教委,要求學校將此事定性為「校園霸凌」,對當事學生進行批評並記錄在案,採取措施糾正學生行為,並進行懲處。他同時要求當事學生家長進行書面道歉,在三個孩子均在場的情況下宣讀道歉書,並支付孩子心理治療費用。

Wang reported the incident to the Haidian District Education Committee, and asked the school to admit that it was a school bullying, criticize the two pupils who did it and record the case, and take measures to correct their behavior and hand out punishment. He also asked the parents of the two pupils to make written apologies, read them in the presence of the three pupils involved in the incident and pay for the psychological therapy for his son.

事情發生後,各方進行了溝通,但是很顯然溝通和處理結果未能使孩子家長滿意,於是就有了這篇12月8日在社交媒體瘋狂轉發的文章。

事情發生在11月24日,但是直到12月10日,孩子所在的中關村二小才發布聲明,並沒有給出更多信息。

從事發到現在,學校一直在積極努力協調,客觀、公正地處理幾方家長間的相關訴求和矛盾糾紛。學校還將做持續努力,力爭達到多方認可的結果。

"The school has been actively talking with the relevant parents to solve the dispute objectively and fairly. Further effort will be made to achieve an outcome that is recognized by all parties," it said.

學校的官方聲明發布後,並沒有將網友的視線從該事件上轉移開,許多網友對這份簡短的聲明表示不滿。

12月13日凌晨,中關村二小校長楊剛接受中國教育報記者獨家專訪,表明學校與學生家長根本分歧所在:「我們與家長無法協調的關鍵在於對事件的定性。對方一直要求定性為霸凌,我們無法滿足家長的這個訴求。」

楊剛同時解釋為何學校「聲明」之後遲遲沒有更多發聲:「我們也是為了保護孩子。我們不希望家長矛盾升級,畢竟這件事情上,一個孩子受到了傷害,另兩個孩子也同樣受到了傷害。」

12月13日7點,中關村二小發布《中關村第二小學關於「學生受傷害事件」的處理進展情況》的長篇文章,對事件的來龍去脈進行了說明。

事件經過

學校在調查該事件的過程中,調取了事發前後樓道內監控錄像(廁所內沒有監控)。

監控顯示:2016年11月24日上午10時03分10秒,明明(化名,即受到傷害的同學)從教室出來進入廁所。

03分17秒至18秒,軍軍(化名)同學和亮亮(化名)同學從操場進樓後相繼進入廁所,03分47秒至48秒,軍軍和亮亮一前一後跑出了廁所回到教室。

04分22秒,明明從廁所出來回到教室,在樓道裡邊走邊用袖子擦著額頭。

整個過程,明明在廁所里的時間為1分12秒,亮亮和軍軍在廁所里待了30秒,明明是在其他兩人離開廁所後34秒走出廁所的。

明明說:當時他站在廁所的一個隔間裡面,亮亮進廁所後看見他,就從隔壁的隔間拿起垃圾筐扔了一下,正好扣在自己的頭上。之後,他在廁所的洗手池洗了洗,就出來了。

亮亮說:他和軍軍去廁所,看到明明在上廁所,就想逗逗他,把一個垃圾筐從隔壁扔進了明明所在的隔間裡面,看都沒看,就跑出去了。

軍軍說:自己只是開玩笑說要打開門看看,並沒有實際開門,也沒有參與扔垃圾筐的事,但是樂來著,自己事後也覺得亮亮做得有些過分。

學校處理

明明的家長堅持要求學校認定亮亮、軍軍的行為是校園欺凌行為並記錄在案,且書面提出四項訴求(以下為原文):

1. 將施暴者亮亮、軍軍的行為定性,通報批評並記錄在案,採取矯治措施予以教育懲戒。

2. 保護明明在校期間的身心安全,不因受害者身份遭到二度傷害。

3. 要求亮亮、軍軍家長進行誠懇的書面道歉,在校領導面前、三個孩子均在場的情況下宣讀道歉書,保證這兩個孩子不再對我們進行霸凌侵害,拒絕口頭和敷衍的態度。

4. 明明因此事已經造成心理創傷,需要進行專業的兒童心理干預,軍軍、亮亮家長需承擔此部分治療費用的權利。

經學校多方調查、了解,明明和亮亮、軍軍屬於正常的同學關係,課上、課下互動交往正常,有互相起外號現象,但沒有明顯的矛盾衝突。我們認為,上述偶發事件尚不足以認定亮亮和軍軍的行為已經構成校園「欺凌」或「暴力」。

儘管校方否認這一事件為校園霸凌,但事件已引發大眾對霸凌這一現象的廣泛熱議。

雙語君(微信ID:chinadaily_mobile)接下來用一個簡單的雙語科普帶大家了解什麼是霸凌。

Bullying 霸凌

1What is bullying? 什麼是霸凌?

Bullying is aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance.

霸凌是指學生時代的孩子之間發生的攻擊性行為,通常涉及真實存在的或可感知到的地位/力量不平等。

The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.

這類行為總是重複發生,或有可能在一段時間內重複發生。

Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, excluding someone from a group on purpose, cyberbullying which involves sending hurtful messages over digital devices like computers and cell phones.

霸凌行為包括:製造威脅、散布謠言、身體或語言上的攻擊、有意將某人從一個集體中排擠出去、用電腦手機等電子設備發送傷害性信息的網路霸凌等。

2Effects of bullying校園霸凌的後果

Kids who are bullied are more likely to experience:

被欺凌的孩子可能會遭受:

Depression and anxiety, increased feelings of sadness and loneliness, changes in sleep and eating patterns, and loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy. These issues may persist into adulthood.

抑鬱焦慮、悲傷和孤獨情緒增加、睡眠飲食習慣改變、對曾經喜愛的活動失去興趣。這些問題可能到成年後仍將持續存在。

Health complaints

健康狀況下降

Decreased academic achievement. They are more likely to miss, skip, or drop out of school.

學習成績下降。有更大的可能逃學或輟學。

A very small number of bullied children might retaliate through extremely violent measures. In 12 of 15 school shooting cases in the 1990s in the US, the shooters had a history of being bullied.

有極少一部分被欺凌的孩子可能會採用極端暴力手段進行報復。在上世紀90年代,美國發生的15起校園槍擊案中,有12起的槍擊犯都有過被欺凌的歷史。

Kids who bully are more likely to:

欺凌他人的孩子有可能會:

Abuse alcohol and other drugs in adolescence and as adults.

在青少年和成年時期酗酒或嗑藥。

Get into fights, vandalize property, and drop out of school.

打架、破壞公物、輟學。

Engage in early sexual activity.

過早開始性行為。

Have criminal convictions and traffic citations as adults.

成年後犯罪或交通違規。

Be abusive toward their romantic partners, spouses, or children as adults.

成年後虐待伴侶、配偶或子女。

3Prevent bullying 防止霸凌發生

家長、學校老師和關愛孩子的成年人該怎樣防止霸凌發生?

Help kids understand bullying. Talk about what bullying is and how to stand up to it safely. Tell kids bullying is unacceptable. Make sure kids know how to get help.

幫助孩子了解霸凌。告訴他們什麼是霸凌、如何安全地抵抗這種行為。強調霸凌是不好的行為。讓他們知道如何尋求幫助。

Keep the lines of communication open. Check in with kids often. Listen to them. Know their friends, ask about school, and understand their concerns.

經常和孩子溝通。關心他們的近況,多聽聽孩子的想法,了解他們的朋友,問問學校的情況,知道他們有哪些擔憂。

Encourage kids to do what they love. Special activities, interests, and hobbies can boost confidence, help kids make friends, and protect them from bullying behavior.

鼓勵孩子做自己熱愛的事情。有自己喜愛的活動、興趣愛好能增強自信、交到朋友、也能保護他們不受欺凌。

Model how to treat others with kindness and respect.

大人要做好榜樣,與人為善,尊重他人。

4Respond to bullying 如何應對霸凌

成年人對霸凌的處理方式會對孩子產生影響,所以做出正確的反應很重要:

Stop bullying on the spot 立即阻止霸凌行為

When adults respond quickly and consistently to bullying behavior, they send the message that it is not acceptable. Research shows this can stop bullying behavior over time.

當成年人迅速並持之以恆地阻止霸凌行為,他們就在向孩子傳達一個信息:這種行為不可接受。研究顯示,假以時日,這種方法就可以阻止霸凌行為的發生。

Find out what happened

調查原因

Keep all the involved children separate.

隔離所有涉事孩子。

Get the story from several sources, both adults and kids.

從大人孩子多個來源了解事情真相。

Listen without blaming.

傾聽但不要指責。

Don』t call the act 「bullying」 while you are trying to understand what happened.

在弄清事情過程前不要將其定義為「霸凌」。

Support the kids involved

對事件相關孩子進行輔導支持

對待被欺凌的孩子:

Assure the child that bullying is not their fault.

安撫孩子,讓他們知道被欺負不是他們的錯。

Work together to resolve the situation and protect the bullied child.

合力解決這一問題,保護被欺凌的孩子。

Remember that changes to routine should be minimized. He or she is not at fault and should not be singled out. For example, consider rearranging classroom for everyone.

但記住,盡量減少改變日常習慣。錯不在孩子,不應該讓孩子感到被單獨對待。比如,可以考慮重新安排班裡所有孩子的座位。

避免以下錯誤:

Never tell the child to ignore the bullying.

不要讓孩子無視被欺凌的現狀。

Do not tell the child to physically fight back against the kid who is bullying.

不要教孩子暴力回擊對方。

Parents should resist the urge to contact the other parents involved. It may make matters worse. School can act as mediators between parents.

家長盡量不要去和對方孩子家長直接聯繫。這可能讓情況變得更糟。最好讓學校充當解調者。

對待實施霸凌的孩子:

Make sure the child knows what the problem behavior is.

讓孩子明確知道這種問題行為的性質。

Show kids that bullying is taken seriously.

讓孩子知道霸凌行為會被嚴肅對待。

Work with the child to understand some of the reasons he or she bullied.

和孩子一起研究他們欺負別的孩子的原因。

Involve the kid who bullied in making amends or repairing the situation.

鼓勵孩子道歉,修復現狀。

共同努力吧,讓孩子有一個健康快樂的童年。

編輯:唐曉敏 左卓

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