中國的「還有我」時刻 | 紐約客

In2004, Luo Xixi, a young Ph.D. student at Beihang University, in Beijing, tried to say no when her adviser asked her to drive with him to his sister』s apartment. But the adviser, a forty-five-year-old professor named Chen Xiaowu, who was a prominent academic and themanaging director of the China Computer Federation, an organization of academics and experts, insisted. He wanted her to tend to his sister』s houseplants while she was away, Luo said, because it was a task that 「women should be intuitively good at.」

2004年的一天，北航年輕的博士研究生羅茜茜本打算拒絕導師的要求，導師讓她開車送自己去妹妹的公寓，但45歲的陳曉武博士堅持讓她送。陳曉武是中國計算機學會常務理事，知名學者。羅茜茜說，他想讓她在妹妹不在家的時候打理一下家裡的植物，因為這件事「女人天生擅長」。

Once they got to the apartment, however, Chen locked the door and told Luo that he and his wife were incompatible in bed, because his wife was 「too conservative.」 He lunged at Luo, who pleaded with him to stop, and relented only when she said, through tears, that she was a virgin. Luo said that he told her that he had been testing her 「moral conduct,」 and warned her not to mention the incident to anyone.

然而他們來到公寓後，陳小武鎖上門，告訴羅茜茜他和妻子床笫不合，因為妻子「太保守」了。他撲向羅茜茜，羅茜茜懇求他停下來，她流著淚說自己還是處女，他這才作罷。羅茜茜說，他對自己說剛才是考驗她的「道德品質」，警告她不要和任何人講這件事。

Inspired by the#MeToomovement in the United States, where Luo now lives, she wrote a detailed account of her experience in an open letter that she posted under that hashtag earlier this month on Weibo, the popular Chinese social-media platform.

羅茜茜現在住在美國，受美國「還有我」運動的鼓舞，她以公開信的方式詳細敘述了自己的經歷，上個月初以#MeToo為標籤發在中國社交媒體平台微博上。

Within a day, it received three million hits. Last fall, after allegations of abuse surfaced againstHarvey Weinstein, a whisper network had formed in chat rooms on Chinese social media, where female students had anonymously put forth complaints of sexual harassment and assault against Chen.

一天內，帖文獲得300萬次點擊。去年秋天，對哈維·韋恩斯坦的性侵指控浮出水面後，中國社交媒體的聊天室里就有不少女學生談論此事，她們匿名指控陳小武性騷擾和性侵犯。

Reading those posts gave Luo the courage to go public, she wrote. Her letter drew the most attention, likely because it was signed. Several of Chen』s other former students then went on the record with their own allegations. He denied any wrongdoing, but, two weeks ago, the university reportedly dismissed him from his posts.

讀到這些帖文讓羅茜茜有勇氣說出真相，她寫道。她的信受到極大關注，可能因為她簽了名。陳小武其他一些學生也發表了控訴。他否認自己做了錯事，但兩周前，據報道大學解除了他的職務。

In the United States, the public conversation about harassment has provided catharsis, but it has also revealed the pain of disclosure. The long-delayed litany of allegations has shown that women often fear losing their financial stability, their professional standing, and what some may perceive to be the respect of their peers as much as they fear their predators. Perhaps the most revealing aspect of the investigations is not the abuse itself, which, in some cases, was long suspected, but the structures that a powerful man may erect to protect himself even as he ritualizes the abuse.

在美國，公開談論騷擾帶來了一股清新之風，但也揭開了傷疤。大量遲遲未提出的指控表明，除了害怕這些野獸，女性經常擔心生活沒有著落，職業地位不保，還有人認為他們都是令周圍人仰慕的人物。可能調查中最觸目驚心的方面並非侵犯本身，畢竟有些事早就為人所知，而是一個大權在握的男人性侵成了自然，還堂而皇之地為自己辯護。

In China, where a far more determined sense of patriarchy and hierarchical order exists, that structure can reach considerably higher. 「In China, if you are a Ph.D. student, it』s difficult to overstate how much your supervisor determines your fate,」 a Chinese feminist activist named Liang Xiaowen, who is now attending law school in the United States, told me. 「Deference to authority is paramount to your survival as a student.」

在中國，父權和等級制更是深入人心，這種情況恐怕更加泛濫。「在中國，如果你是個博士生，毫不誇張地說，導師決定了你的命運，」中國女權主義活動人士梁曉雯說，她目前在美國一所法學院讀書。她告訴我說：「順從權威對一個學生而言至關重要。」

Since last fall, thousands of students and alumni have written letters to some thirty universities across China, calling for the institution of firm policies regarding harassment, and Liang made the same demand in an open letter she wrote to her alma mater, the South China University of Technology. Even the official language used to describe sexual harassment, she noted, hints at moral equivocation.

從去年秋天開始，數以千計的學生和校友寫信給全中國三十來所大學，要求正式調查性騷擾，梁曉雯也給母校華南理工大學發了公開信。她指出，過去的官方語言將性騷然理解為品行上模稜兩可的事。

「They don』t call it 『harassment』 or 『assault』 on school documents,」 Liang said. 「In Chinese, the term is 『inappropriate teacher-student relations,』 as if to suggest that the inappropriateness could be the fault of both parties. In the abstract, people are saying it is wrong, but perpetrators are not really harmed.」

「他們在學校文件中不稱之為『騷擾』或『侵犯』，」梁曉雯說。「在中國，他們說那是『不正當師生關係』，好像這種不正當是雙方的錯。大體上，人們都說這是錯的，但做壞事的人沒什麼事。」

Last year, after the Weinstein story broke, the state-runChina Dailypublished an online piece stating that the virtues of Chinese culture insured a comparatively low incidence of sexual harassment. The piece met with a backlash on social media, decrying the falsity of the claim. (A survey conducted in 2017 by the Guangzhou Gender and Sexuality Education Center and the law firm Beijing Impact found that nearly seventyper cent of Chinese university students had experienced sexual harassment.)

去年，韋恩斯坦醜聞曝光後，《中國日報》發表在線文章，說因為中國有文化美德，所以中國性騷擾相對不多。文章在社交媒體上引人反感，人們說這是胡說八道。（2017年廣州性別與性教育中心和北京影響力律所的調查發現，幾乎70%的中國大學生遇到過性騷擾。）

「The fact that #MeToo spread so quickly in such a short period of time shows that the message of feminism has broad appeal, and that it resonates with ordinary people,」 saidLeta Hong Fincher, the author of a forthcoming book, 「Betraying Big Brother: The Feminist Awakening in China」.

「還有我運動短期內發展這麼快，這表明女權主義有廣泛吸引力，普通人都認同。」即將發表的《背叛大哥：中國女權覺醒》一書作者芬徹說。

Like women in this country, women in China are grappling with how to convert the momentum of a fledgling protest into concrete action. But, unlike this country, China lacks a clear definition of sexual harassment. (A law passed in 2005 banned workplace harassment, but any concrete senseof what harassment means was left too vague for implementation to be truly effective.)In the workplace as well as in schools, there are no standardized guidelines on how to handle sexual assault.

和美國女性一樣，中國女性也設法將羽翼未豐的抗議轉化為具體行動。但和美國不同，中國對性騷擾沒有清晰的定義。（2015年通過的一部法律禁止在工作場所騷擾，但騷擾究竟是什麼說的很模糊，無法有效執行。）在工作場所以及學校，都沒有如何處理性侵犯的標準指導。

At the moment, the movement is primarily composed of young, educated women, living in cities or abroad.Not long ago, I spoke to a Chinese woman in her mid-sixties who did not know what to make of #MeToo. Like many people of her generation, she still faithfully reads the Chinese state media and finds much of what is happening among the younger generations baffling.

目前，這主要是受過教育的年輕女性在推動，她們生活在城市或在國外。不久前，我採訪了一個六十五歲左右的女性，她不知道「還有我」是什麼意思。同許多她這一代人一樣，她忠實於中國主流媒體，年輕一代做的事讓她感到困惑。

The woman, who has lived in New York since the nineteen-nineties, had counted herself as a member of China』s privileged class (her parents were cadre leaders during Mao』s revolutionary years), but she told me about an incident that she was still hesitant to discuss, decades after it occurred. When she was sixteen and living in Nanjing, she had a charismatic Chinese teacher who took a liking to her. 「He made me the class monitor,」 she said, and her classmates teased her about being the teacher』s pet.

這位從九十年代起就住在紐約的女性把自己算做特權階層的一員，父母在革命時代都是幹部，但她說了一件她不願意提起的事，那是幾十年前。當時她十六歲，住在南京，有一個很有魅力的語文老師喜歡她。「她讓我當班長，」她說，同學們取笑她是老師的寵物。

Then, one day after school, as she was erasing the chalkboard—the duty of a class monitor—in the empty classroom, the teacher grabbed her hand. 「I didn』t know what to do. I ran from the classroom,」 she said, but she remembered an inexplicable feeling of guilt, as if she had forgotten the lines of a play that she had been assigned to perform. The teacher never mentioned the incident to her, but for the rest of the year he no longer praised her essays in class, as he used to. She told no one, not even family members, what had happened.

有一天放學後，她正在沒有人的教室里擦黑板，這是班長的職責，老師上來抓住她的手。「我不知道該怎麼辦，就奪路而逃，」她說，但她還記得那種難以名狀的負罪感，好像上台表演時忘了台詞一樣。老師再也沒提過這件事，但那一年他不再在班上表揚她作文寫得好了。她沒和別人說過發生了什麼，連家裡人都沒有。

「It seemed like something I dreamt up,」 she said. 「But what I think of most is what a classmate said to me, sometime after we graduated. She told me that, for a while, I was the envy of the class for being the teacher』s undisputed favorite. She said, 『We all thought it was unfair that you alone were so well-liked by the teacher.』 」 The friend laughed and added, 「You were so lucky.」

「就像做夢一樣，」她說。「但我想得最多的是畢業後一個同學對我說。她告訴我，我一度是全班人羨慕的對象，因為我是老師的最愛。她說，『我們都覺得老師唯獨那麼喜歡你，這不公平。』朋友笑著說，「你真幸運」。」