12346功能全發展的ESFJ和INTP的故事

So You Love a TiNe - Part 1

First off, let me tell you why I consider myself qualified to talk about TiNe』s (INTPs) love lives. I』m an FeSi (ESFJ) and have been in a great relationship with a TiNe guy for the past 8 years total—4 of those years we』ve been married and that』s been really awesome—we plan on keeping it that way. I』ve also observed TiNe family members and close friends at various stages of romance, including other successful couples that have been together happily—some for over 25 years. One of my strong points as an FeSi type is reading people and understanding their feelings and motivations and how they relate to others. So feel free to just consider this series an outsider』s semi-professional opinion.

The Beginning

The beginning of a romantic relationship for a TiNe is scary— and by 『the beginning』 I mean the circumstances that cumulate to potentially become a romantic relationship. It is my understanding that TiNe』s are constantly calculating things; how to get the character in the game they』re developing to jump a certain height, all the possible things a person could say to them if they were to actually approach a person, the plot to that movie they just saw last night, plus more (always more). This probably occurs all at once, or in rapid succession. So when a TiNe notices that they have developed a serious romantic attraction, they likely Freak. Out. There are too many possibilities, and all of them include those scary, sneaky little buggers called feelings. TiNe』s aren』t likely to come right out and say, 「Hey baby, I think you』re sexy—let me take you out tonight.」 They will more likely harbor the attraction for a few months or years or until someone else brings it into the open—or until it goes away.

You see, feelings are the TiNe』s Achilles Heel. They feel safe in their logical Ti-Dom world, where they can calculate all of the possibilities; where things make sense to them. Feelings come in bursts, and can be very unexpected and intense—especially if the TiNe is younger and/or hasn』t spent much time developing their inferior Fe side. The older a TiNe gets, especially if they have more experience dealing with their own romantic relationships or romantic interests, the more they might feel comfortable with being the catalyst for bringing about a romance. However, if it is a romance you seek with a TiNe, I wouldn』t count on them making the first move.

If a TiNe has caught your eye—and I can』t blame you; they』re usually smart, loyal, and somewhat mysterious, with an adorable squishy side that comes out every now and then—you should accept the fact that you will need to make the first move. And by first move, I don』t mean just flirting or coyly hinting at your feelings—you need to come right out and say what you want. Otherwise you leave the TiNe to calculate all the possibilities about what your new actions might mean (which will likely cause the them to convince themselves that you dont actually like them and therefore approaching you is unsafe), or, even more frustratingly, the TiNe might not even notice flirting or hints (because they might be too wrapped up in analyzing something else). Avoid the uncertainty and frustration and please just call it like it is. The TiNe will respect your honesty and direct manner. They despise 『games』 in romantic situations—the TiNe sees this sort of behavior as illogical, dishonest, and therefore unattractive.

Once you have exposed your feelings, don』t expect them to immediately have a big reaction—there might not be a big show of gushing right back or running away in the moment. If the TiNe hasn』t considered you romantically before (or even if they have), they will probably need some time to process the information. It would be wise to tell them that you realize they need time to process, and request a deadline for when they think they will be able to revisit the issue. Schedule time to talk—whether it』s 10 minutes, or a week from that moment. It might seem nerve wracking to wait for a response, but separating yourself for a predetermined amount of time will allow both of you to reflect. If the TiNe hasn』t thought of you as a romantic candidate until this point, this could give you an advantage within their mind. If they already consider you someone worth spending time with, you』re basically halfway there. Now that they know about your feelings, allowing themselves to explore the possibility could be deemed a lower risk. The fact that you』re already attracted to them will be flattering and potentially exciting, and they might consider the chance of pain diminished slightly. Even if they haven』t consciously considered the possibility of you being a romantic candidate before, they might realize that they were, in fact, harboring feelings just below the surface that might bubble up at this point.

When you come back to the conversation and figure out where to go from there, you will likely either be in a new romantic relationship with your TiNe (WIN!), or you can talk about how to proceed if they don』t return your sentiment. Either way, the TiNe will most likely respect you for being honest and up front with them and allowing time and space to process the information.

If you do decide to move forward with the romantic relationship, hold onto your hat! Once the TiNe』s inferior Fe is activated romantically, they get very close very quickly. They are fiercely loyal, and surprisingly amorous partners. Physical touch is typically very important to TiNe』s, because they might be bad at expressing their feelings verbally. You will see their soft, squishy side—i.e. don』t be surprised if the TiNe is suddenly bursting at the seams with love songs, romantic poetry, gifts, etc. just for you. If this is your experience, realize that healthy TiNe』s likely crave close, intimate, long-term relationships. Please be careful with their hearts; you are now directly connected to that Fe Achilles Heel. They trust you deeply.

Stay tuned for the next installments where we will examine the next stages of a TiNe relationship.

google 機器翻譯

首先，讓我告訴你為什麼我認為自己有資格談論TiNe（INTP）的愛情生活。我是一個FeSi（ESFJ），在過去的8年中，與TiNe家人有很好的關係，我們已經結婚了4年，這真的很棒 - 我們計劃保持這種狀態。我也觀察過TiNe的家庭成員和各種戀愛階段的親密朋友，其中包括其他成功的夫婦，一起共同愉快 - 一些已經超過25年。作為一種FeSi類型，我的一個強項是閱讀人們，了解他們的感受和動機，以及他們如何與他人相關。所以請隨便考慮這個系列是一個局外人的半職業意見。

開始

TiNe的浪漫關係的開始是可怕的 - 「開始」是指累積成為浪漫關係的情況。我的理解是，TiNe正在不斷地計算事物;如何讓他們正在發展的角色跳躍一定的高度，一個人可能會對他們說如果他們真正接近一個人的可能的事情，他們剛剛看到的電影的陰謀，加上更多（總是更多）。這可能是一次性或快速連續發生。所以當TiNe注意到他們已經發展出了一個嚴肅的浪漫魅力，他們很可能是怪胎。出。有太多的可能性，所有這些都包括那些可怕的，鬼祟的小怪物叫做感覺。 TiNe不太可能會說出來，說：「嗨寶貝，我覺得你很性感 - 讓我今晚能帶你出去，」他們更有可能吸引數個月或數年，或者直到有人帶來進入開放或直到它消失。

你看，感覺是TiNe的跟腱。他們在邏輯Ti-Dom世界中感到安全，在那裡他們可以計算出所有的可能性;事情對他們有意義。感覺爆發，可能非常意外和激烈 - 特別是如果TiNe更年輕和/或沒有花費太多時間發展他們的劣勢。年齡較大的TiNe，特別是如果他們有更多的經驗處理自己的浪漫關係或浪漫的興趣，他們可能會感到舒服，作為催化劑帶來浪漫的越多。但是，如果是浪漫主義，那麼我們就不會指望他們做出第一步。

如果一個TiNe抓住了你的眼睛 - 我不能怪你;他們通常是聰明，忠誠，有點神秘，有一個可愛的骯髒的一面出來，每一次，然後 - 你應該接受的事實，你將需要做出第一舉動。首先，我不是只是調情或暗示暗示你的感受 - 你需要出來說出你想要的東西。否則你離開TiNe來計算你的新行動可能意味著什麼的可能性（這可能會導致他們說服自己實際上不喜歡他們，因此接近你是不安全的），或者更令人沮喪的是TiNe可能甚至不會注意到調情或提示（因為他們可能被太多的分析別的東西）。避免不確定性和沮喪，請簡單地稱之為它。 TiNe將尊重您的誠實和直接的態度。他們在浪漫的情況下鄙視「遊戲」 - TiNe認為這種行為是不合邏輯，不誠實，因此沒有吸引力。

一旦暴露了你的感覺，不要指望他們立即有一個很大的反應 - 這可能沒有一個很大的表現，立即湧現或逃跑。如果TiNe以前沒有浪漫的考慮過（即使有），他們也許需要一些時間處理信息。告訴他們，你明白，他們需要時間來處理這個問題，並且在他們認為他們能夠重新審視問題時要求一個期限。安排談話的時間 - 無論是10分鐘，還是從那一刻開始。等待響應似乎是神經質的，但是在預定的時間內分離自己將允許您雙方反映。如果TiNe在此之前並沒有想到你是一個浪漫的候選人，所以這可以給你一個優勢。如果他們已經考慮到你值得花時間的人，那麼你基本上是中途。現在他們知道你的感受，讓自己探索的可能性被認為是較低的風險。你已經被他們吸引的事實將會令人興奮並且令人興奮，他們也許會考慮到疼痛的機會略有下降。即使他們沒有有意識地考慮過你作為一個浪漫候選人的可能性，他們可能會意識到，事實上，他們在這一點上可能會浮現在表面以下的感覺。

當你回到談話中，弄清楚從那裡去哪裡，你可能會和你的TiNe（WIN！）有一個新的浪漫關係，或者你可以談論如果沒有回報你的情緒，如何進行。無論哪種方式，TiNe都將很有可能尊重您的誠實和前瞻，並允許時間和空間來處理信息。

如果你決定前進的浪漫關係，握住你的帽子！一旦TiNe的劣質Fe被浪漫地激活，他們就非常接近非常快。他們是非常忠誠的，令人驚喜的合作夥伴。 TiNe的身體接觸通常非常重要，因為他們口頭上表達自己的感覺可能不好。你會看到他們柔軟，悶熱的一面 - 即。不要驚訝，如果TiNe突然爆裂在與愛的歌曲，浪漫的詩歌，禮物等接縫，只為你。如果這是你的經驗，意識到健康的TiNe可能渴望親密，親密，長期的關係。請小心他們的心;你現在直接連接到Fe跟腱。他們相信你。

請繼續關注下一期，我們將研究TiNe關係的下一階段。