【媒庫文選】人要閑聊才會快樂嗎？

06-23

Security guard， truck driver， salesperson—year after year， these jobs appear on lists of the unhappiest careers. Although many factors can make a job dismal—unusual hours，low pay， no chance for advancement—these three gigs stand out for another reason: They"re characterized either by a lack of conversation or by obligatory but meaningless small talk.

Psychologists have long said that connecting with others is central to well-being， but just how much conversation we require is under investigation. In one study，researchers eavesdropped on undergraduates for four days， then cataloged each overheard conversation as either 「small talk」（「What do you have there？ Popcorn？ Yummy！」） or 「substantive」（「So did they get divorced soon after？」）. They found that the second type correlated with happiness—the happiest students had roughly twice as many substantive talks as the unhappiest ones. Small talk， meanwhile，made up only 10 percent of their conversation，versus almost 30 percent of conversation among the least content students.

But don"t write off chitchat just yet. Scientists believe that small talk （which linguists describe as a form of 「phatic communication」） could promote bonding. Late last year， Princeton researchers reported that ring-tailed lemurs reserve their call-and-response conversations， akin to human chitchat， for the animals they groom the most—suggesting that small talk maintains closeness with loved ones， and isn"t merely the stuff of awkward exchanges with strangers.

Still， bantering with strangers could brighten your morning. In a series of experiments， psychologists gave Chicago commuters varying directions about whether to talk with fellow train passengers. Those told to chat with others reported a more pleasant journey than those told to 「enjoy your solitude」 or to do whatever they normally would. None of the chatters reported being rebuffed. And the results held for introverts and extroverts alike—which makes sense， since acting extroverted has a positive effect on introverts.

Small talk can also help us feel connected to our surroundings. People who smiled at， made eye contact with， and briefly spoke with their Starbucks baristas reported a greater sense of belonging than those who rushed through the transaction. Similarly， one not yet published paper found that when volunteers broke the silence of the Tate Modern to chat with gallerygoers， the visitors felt happier and more connected to the exhibit than those who were not approached.

Of course， some of us are better than others at turning small talk into something bigger. In one study， people who were rated 「less curious」 by researchers had trouble getting a conversation rolling on their own， and had greater luck building closeness with others when they were supplied with questions that encouraged personal disclosure（「When did you last cry in front of someone？」）. But people who were deemed 「curious」 needed no help transforming conversations about mundane things like favorite holidays into intimate exchanges. A 「curious mind-set，」 the authors concluded， can lead to 「positive social interactions.」

So go ahead， pry. Chitchat needn"t be idle. And nosiness isn"t all bad.

保安、卡車司機、推銷員——年復一年，這些工作出現在最不快樂的職業排行榜上。儘管有許多因素可能會使工作沉悶——非正常的上班時間，低工資，沒有晉陞機會，但這三種活計引人注目是出於另一個原因：它們的特點是要麼缺少對話，要麼必須展開毫無意義的閑聊。

心理學家一直說，與他人建立聯繫對幸福感至關重要，但是，目前仍在研究我們到底需要多少對話。在一項研究中，研究人員對本科生進行4天監聽，然後把聽到的每段對話進行歸類，要麼是「閑談」（「你拿的是什麼？爆米花？好吃！」），要麼是「實質性交談」（「那他們後來很快就離婚了嗎？」）。他們發現，第二類與快樂的感受相關——最快樂學生展開的實質性對話大約是最不快樂學生的兩倍。與此同時，閑聊只佔他們對話的10%，卻在最不高興的學生的對話中佔到將近30%。

不過，別急著把聊天貶得一錢不值。科學家認為，閑聊（語言學家稱之為一種「寒暄語」）能促進感情。去年年底，普林斯頓大學的研究人員報告說，節尾狐猴只與它們最經常為之理毛的同類進行類似人類聊天的應答式對話，這表明閑聊維繫了與摯愛者的親近感，而不單純是陌生人之間的尷尬交流。

但是，與陌生人開玩笑還是會讓你的早晨開心起來。在一系列實驗中，心理學家圍繞是否與同車乘客交談的問題向芝加哥通勤者做出了不同指示。與被告知要「享受孤獨」或者像平常那樣行事的人相比，被告知要與別人聊天的人表示旅途更愉快。沒有一個聊天的人表示自己碰了釘子。內向者和外向者的結果相似——這講得通，因為表現得外向對內向者具有積極影響。

閑聊還能幫助我們感到與周邊環境有關聯。相對於匆忙買完東西就走的顧客，對星巴克的服務生微笑、與之有目光接觸以及簡短聊上幾句的人表示自己更有歸屬感。同樣，一份尚未發表的報告發現，當志願者打破泰特現代美術館的靜寂與藝術愛好者聊天時，參觀者會比沒被搭訕的人更快樂，更有與展覽相關聯的感覺。

當然，我們中的一些人比其他人更善於把閑聊變成更有意義的事情。在一項研究中，被研究人員評定為「缺少好奇心」的人很難使交談自然而然地進行下去，在拿到鼓勵披露個人信息的問題（「你上次當著別人的面掉眼淚是什麼時候？」）時更有望與其他人建立親近感。不過，被認定為「有好奇心」的人不需要幫助就能把諸如最喜歡的節日之類的乏味話題轉化為親切交流。作者們得出結論認為，「好奇的心態」可以激發「積極的社會交往」。

所以來吧，打聽吧。聊天未必毫無意義，好打聽也不完全是壞事。（葛雪蕾譯自美國《大西洋》月刊10月號文章）

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