不要在咖啡館辦公，別問我是怎麼知道的 | 英語電台

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你在咖啡館辦公嗎？

採用打破常規的做法——定期到咖啡館工作——能使我們更富創造力，而同事不在場的環境則能提高我們的工作效率。《紐約時報》(New York Times)也有文章指出，咖啡館的背景聲響非常有助於工作，以至於被作為白噪音在辦公樓里播放。

可是，咖啡館給英國《金融時報》專欄作家露西·凱拉韋帶來的體驗似乎不是這樣。

In a coffee shop

來自FT每日英語

I am sitting with my laptop and a mug of coffee at a tiny table. An identical table is right behind mine and every time its occupant moves, I get jabbed in the back. The cash register opens and closes. The steam machine hisses. Welcome to my new office: Starbucks, Highbury Corner, north London.

現在我正坐在一張小桌子邊，桌上擺著我的手提電腦，和一杯咖啡。在我身後有一張一模一樣的桌子，每次坐在那裡的人起身移動時，我的後背就會被猛戳一下。收款機開了又關。蒸汽機發出嘶嘶的聲音。歡迎來到我的新辦公室：位於倫敦北部海布里角(Highbury Corner)的星巴克(Starbucks)店。

Until now, I』ve never had the slightest desire to bring my work to a coffee shop. My children swear it』s where they do their best work. Luke Johnson recently wrote a column in the Financial Times saying they are perfect places to start a business. If the alternative is the kitchen table, then I suppose Starbucks has something going for it. But for those of us with free offices, I can』t see the big draw.

以前我從未有過哪怕是最輕微的將工作帶到咖啡館完成的念頭。我的孩子們發誓他們在咖啡館的做事效率最高。盧克·約翰遜(Luke Johnson)近期在英國《金融時報》寫了一篇專欄文章稱，咖啡館是開展創業的完美場所。如果另外一個選擇是廚房餐桌，那我認為星巴克也許還有一點勝出的希望。但對於像我們這種擁有免費辦公場所的人來說，我不認為咖啡館會有多大吸引力。

Photo credit: Getty Images

Last week, I read two articles that changed my mind. First, a blog post in Fast Company arguing that we should all periodically decamp to cafés as the break to routine makes us creative, and the absence of colleagues makes us productive. The second was a piece in the New York Times saying that the background sounds in coffee shops are so conducive to work that they are being piped into office buildings as white noise.

上周我讀到的兩篇文章改變了我的想法。一篇發表在Fast Company的博客文章指出，我們應當定期到咖啡館工作，因為這種打破常規的做法能使我們更富創造力，而同事不在場的環境則能提高我們的工作效率。第二篇刊載於《紐約時報》(New York Times)，文章指出，咖啡館的背景聲響非常有助於工作，以至於被作為白噪音在辦公樓里播放。

So this morning I set off for my new workplace. The commute was a dream – four minutes by bike. Some of the time saved was lost queueing for coffee, but when I got to the front and parted with ￡2.15 for a 「tall」 cup of beige milk, I felt pleased with the bargain: it comes with an unlimited side order of table, chair, WiFi and electricity.

因此今天一早我就出發前往我的新辦公室。通勤的路程美得像個夢——騎自行車四分鐘就到了。節省下來的部分時間浪費在了排隊等候咖啡上，但當我走到前排並花費2.15英鎊買了一大杯牛奶咖啡時，我感到非常物有所值：我還可以附帶無限制地使用桌椅、WiFi無線網路以及電力。

「Do you mind people sitting here all day over one coffee?」 I ask the woman at the till. 「No!」 she beams. 「I like it. They keep me company.」

我對收款機前的女士問到：「你是否介意有人只點一杯咖啡卻在這裡呆上一整天？」她笑道：「當然不。我喜歡人們這麼做。這些人可以跟我做伴。」

Photo credit: Getty Images

It』s a rum business model. The argument goes that people with laptops look cool and give the place a buzzy atmosphere; I can』t imagine that I look any cooler hunched over my computer than my bald and paunchy neighbour looks hunched over his.

這是一種古怪的商業模式。有觀點稱，帶著筆記本電腦的人看起來很酷，並能給咖啡館帶來一種時尚的氛圍；我無法想像自己蜷縮在電腦前的樣子會比我那位禿頂又大腹便便的鄰居趴在他的電腦前的樣子酷到哪兒去。

In advance, I』ve been doing some homework on how best to work in a café. You might have thought it is easy: get coffee, sit down, open laptop, work. But no. There』s a whole page on WikiHow about the 「coffee shop experience」, advising clothes that are 「comfortable but elegant」 and that you sit far from the door and the till.

我預先對如何在咖啡館更好地工作做了一些準備。你或許會認為這很容易：買杯咖啡，找位子坐下，打開手提電腦，開始幹活。但事情並非如此。WikiHow博客上有一整篇關於「咖啡館經驗」的文章，建議人們穿著「舒適而優雅」的服裝，並且在遠離門口和收銀台的地方坐下。

I settle at the only free table and remove the previous occupant』s squalid litter. The background noise is quite nice – both upbeat and soothing. The foreground noise is less so. A mobile goes.

我坐在了唯一一張空桌子上，並移開了之前坐在這裡的人留下的臟垃圾。我身後的聲音聽起來很棒，既積極又令人感到平靜。而前方的聲音則並非如此。有人的手機響了起來。

Photo credit: Getty Images

「So no, yeah, it was all good. So, like, basically, yeah, all good. No, I』m literally at Starbucks. I came to charge my phone?.?.?.?」 I turn round. He』s plugged in his mobile, but hasn』t even bought a drink.

「不，是的，事情全安排好了。因此，差不多，基本上，全搞定了。不，我現在在星巴克里。我是來給手機充電的。」我循聲轉頭，發現他的手機正充著電，而他甚至還沒有購買任何飲品。

I』ve finished mine, and need the loo. WikiHow does not advise on how to deal with this eventuality, so I decide to take all my stuff in with me. When I return, my table has been taken by someone else.

我已經喝完了我的飲料，需要去趟洗手間。WikiHow博客上沒有關於如何應對這種偶發事件的建議，因此我決定把隨身物品都帶上。當我回來的時候，我的桌子已經被其他人佔據了。

I leave Starbucks and head down the road to Euphorium, a brighter and groovier independent coffee shop. I get a nice table, and even though it』s barely 11am order a salt beef bagel. I enter the WiFi password and get down to work. Within five minutes I』m joined by two women, each with a buggy the size of a small car. In one a baby screams. 「Oh, Oscar」, says his mother.

我離開了星巴克，沿街而行來到了Euphorium，一家更加明亮時髦的獨立咖啡店。我找到了一個舒適的位置，雖然現在剛上午11點，我還是點了一個咸牛肉麵包圈。我輸入了WiFi無線網路密碼並開始工作。但僅僅過了5分鐘，就有兩個女人坐到了我這一桌，她們每人都推了一輛小汽車大小的嬰兒車。一輛車內的嬰兒大聲哭喊。「噢，奧斯卡」，他的母親說道。

Photo credit: Getty Images

With some effort I block this out, but when I look up, someone is waving at me. It』s the mother of a boy my son knew at primary school, who comes over to say her boy has just got into Oxford university and that he』s spending his gap year acting in some Hollywood film. Great, I say, continuing to type. In the office this trick always works: colleagues take the hint. But in coffee shops it does not seem to work at all. When I finally get rid of her I order a strawberry tart to lift my spirits. And then a cappuccino to lift them some more. While I drink it I read something from the New Yorker online about how caffeine destroys your creativity.

我頗費了翻努力才排除了這些干擾，但當我抬起頭來時，有人正在向我招手。這是我兒子在小學時認識的一個男孩的母親。她走過來對我說，自己的孩子剛被牛津大學(Oxford university)錄取了，並把上大學之前的空檔年用於拍攝某部好萊塢電影。太棒了，我說道，然後繼續打字。在辦公室里這個技巧總是非常奏效：同事們能領會你的暗示。但在咖啡店裡這個辦法似乎完全不起作用。當我最終擺脫她的時候，我點了一個草莓餡餅來改善自己的情緒，之後又點了一杯卡布奇諾咖啡來進一步提振精神。而正當我喝著咖啡時，我在紐約客(New Yorker)的網站上讀到了一篇關於咖啡因如何毀滅創造力的文章。

I don』t believe this any more than I believe that working in a café can increase it. There is only one effect coffee shops have for sure: they are rough on your skeleton. The chairs are designed to be sat on for half an hour – not all day.

我對這種說法的信任程度並不比我對咖啡館有助於增強創造力的信任度高。咖啡店確定具有的效果只有一種：它們會讓你腰酸背疼。咖啡館裡的椅子都是為小坐半小時而設計的，而不是一坐一整天。

After three hours, my back hurts and carpal tunnel syndrome can』t be far off. They are rough on the stomach too: two coffees, a Diet Coke, a bagel and a tart, and it』s not quite lunchtime.

在咖啡館裡待了三小時以後，我的後背開始疼痛，腕管綜合症似乎也為期不遠。我的腸胃也受到了很大考驗：兩杯咖啡，一瓶健怡可樂，一個麵包圈，一個水果餡餅，而現在甚至還沒到午餐時間。

Photo credit: Getty Images

I』ve just googled famous people who work in cafés, and at the top of every list is JK Rowling. I now forgive her everything. If she wrote Harry Potter sitting in a coffee shop, she could surely have managed Middlemarch in a quiet office with a comfortable chair.

我在谷歌(google)上搜索了在咖啡館裡工作的名人，J·K·羅琳(JK Rowling)總是出現在每份名單的最上端。我現在可以諒解關於她的一切。如果她坐在咖啡館裡可以寫出《哈里·波特》(Harry Potter)，那麼如果她在一個安靜的辦公室里坐在一張舒適的椅子上，則無疑可以寫出像《米德爾馬契》(Middlemarch)這樣的作品。