五種男人恐避不及的女人

在追尋你的另一半時，請把以下內容作為你的行動指南——一個經驗者的名單，五種你需要躲開的女人。這個人已經閱人無數，誰能比這個閱歷深厚的人做出一個更好的名單？不過也不用太在意，這個名單非絕對的真理——它僅僅提供一些指導性的意見幫你避開某種人，不過與另外一些人約會就要由你自己謹慎決定了。

　　The Smart-Ass

　　自作聰明的女人

Every man likes an articulate woman, a girl who can voice her opinion, sound intelligent and impress your friends with a philosophical debate on the downward spiral of modern politics. OK, maybe that"s pushing it a bit, but a woman with verbal confidence can be a hell of a turn-on. But let"s be realistic -- while it"s always nice to date someone who is charismatic and well-versed, it"s something quite different to date a woman who beats the opinionated war drum.

　　每一個男人都喜歡善於表達的女人，那種能說會道，讓人覺得有智慧並且能在一場富有哲理的關於現代政治的惡性循環的辯論中給你朋友留下深刻印象女人。好吧，可能這給她們加了些分，但是一個在言語上過於自信的女人可以讓人覺得十分痛苦。讓我們現實點——雖然與富有魅力和精通事物的人約會是美好的，但是與自以為是的女人約會就是另外一件事了。

Unfortunately, these types exist, and for those who haven"t had the privilege of strapping on your helmet and hunkering down for a verbal assault, you"re definitely not missing out. Everyone comes from different wombs, so why does she seem to get angry with you when you can"t agree? Some women simply like to test you to see how well you stand up for yourself; others just like to exert their own power. The Smart-Ass exposes your intellectual weaknesses and will subsequently cut you down because of it. This is a type to avoid at all costs, as she will make the rest of your evening miserable while she stomps on your heart with an egomaniacal boot.

　　不幸的是，世上真有這種女人，對於那些還沒有嘗試過帶好頭盔蹲下應對其言辭上的襲擊的人來說，你們絕對不會錯過這種機會。 每個人生來就是不同的，那麼為什麼這些女人當你表示不同意見時會變得生氣？有些女人僅僅想測試一下你有多麼堅持自我；另外一些則僅僅喜歡執行他們自己的權力。那些自作聰明的女人愛揭你思維中的短處然後把你打敗。這種女人是你無論如何都要避免的，因為她將會穿上極其自我的靴子踐踏你的心靈，使得你餘生中的夜晚都變得悲慘糟糕，她

　　The Gold Digger

　　拜金女

It doesn"t take a genius to know that wooing a woman requires a trifocal effort of body, soul and spending power. As standard romantic procedures, you"re going to have to take her for dinner, buy her flowers, whisk her away to the mountains for the weekend, and show her that the world is your oyster and she"s the pearl. But if I can give a word of caution to my free-spending comrades out there (I"m guilty of this too), make damn sure she"s actually enjoying your company and not just your wallet. If you start to notice that she"s expecting you to pay for everything but the kitchen sink, your credit card bill should be enough of a red flag to warrant an emergency landing.

　　任何人都知道追求一個女人需要三方面的集中努力，身體、心靈、消費能力。就一個標準的浪漫的程序而言，你將會帶她去吃晚餐，給她買花，牽著她在周末去爬山，告訴她她是你整個世界裡的燦爛明珠。如果我能給予我那些隨意花錢的朋友一些忠告（我也為此感到內疚）， 一定要確定她是真的享受與你的陪同而不只是你的錢包。如果你開始發現她希望你為她支付所有的東西而除去廚房的水槽，你的信用卡應該足夠保證能應對緊急情況的發生。

Here"s some sound advice -- if you approach a woman and the first words out of her mouth are "I"ll have a Vodka Seven," chances are she"s probably out to score some freebies, so proceed with caution. If her friends show up and start ordering drinks as well, there"s a good chance they"ll all dissipate into the crowd once they"ve been served, leaving you with the tab. Avoid the Gold Digger type at all costs. Like the old proverb goes, you can"t buy happiness, and a woman who thinks otherwise isn"t worth your time.

　　這有一些合理的建議——如果你接近一個女人而她嘴裡說出的第一句話是「我想要一杯Vodka Seven」，很可能她是出來尋找一些免費的東西，所以此時需要謹慎。如果她的朋友出現了並也開始點飲料，很有可能她們將會在享受到你的免費服務後馬上消失在人群中，留下你一個在吧台旁。儘可能避開拜金類型的女孩。正如古語云，你不可能買到幸福，而一個想著其他東西（金錢）的女人是不值得你花時間的。

　　Ms. Right

　　完美女人

It was not too long ago that I had to end a relationship with this type of woman, much to my disappointment. She had a bevy of outstanding qualities, but her inability to accept a different opinion ultimately led to a breakup. Every time we got together, she would declare her astuteness and would never take my advice because it was always wrong. Ms. Right is, well, stubbornly set in her ways -- she"s correct about everything, and if you even so much as make an unfavorable whisper, she"ll lash out at you with the voraciousness of a python. The sad part is, Ms. Right types are hard to change, as their personal pride tends to get in the way of understanding others and the world around her, so all you can really do is avoid these women. She may have been spoiled as a child, or perhaps she has just hung around too many snotty girlfriends for her own good. Either way, the red flags on these women fly high. Steer clear.

　　前不久，我才結束了一段和一個這樣的女人的戀情，我很失望。她擁有很多突出的優點，但是她不能接受與她不同的觀點，這一點最終導致了我們的分手。每一次我們在一起時，她總會想辦法證明她的聰明而絕不會接受我的建議，因為總認為我是錯的。完美女人只會固執地堅持自我，她認為自己總是正確的，哪怕你只是小聲地告訴她一些意見（她不喜歡的），她將會像吞噬獵物的蟒蛇一樣抨擊你。最讓人受不了的是，完美女人這一類型是很難做出改變的，因為他們的自傲往往阻礙了她們很好地去了解周圍的人和世界。 所以你可以做的就是盡量避開這種女人。她可能像孩子一樣被寵壞了，又或者她被周圍很多朋友寵照著。 不管是哪一種，這種女人要不得。避開！

　　The Psycho

　　瘋子

What is it about women who feel the need to call their man 10 times a day? More importantly, what is the guy going to tell a woman that he didn"t just talk about an hour ago? The Psycho will disrupt the balance you have in your day between work and home. She will meld your personal life with your business life, and make it clear to you that she exists and is planting her rump right in the middle of your daily agenda. What"s worse, if you tell her to stop being so obsessive and dependent, she"ll completely deny any obsession she has. She will see it as a sign that she has to work harder to win you over, and then she"ll end up bothering you more. See the vicious cycle here? The Psycho will never give up, and will drown you in her own insecurities about relationships and life. If you find yourself in this predicament, I encourage you to take the blue pill and wake up from your impending nightmare.

　　那些每天打電話給他們男人10次的女人是到底怎麼了？ 更要命的是，你讓一個一小時前才與女友通過電話的男人還能再和這女人說些什麼？這種心理有問題的女人會打亂你生活和工作中的平衡狀態。她們會混淆你的工作和個人生活，並且明確地向你表明她的存在要求你把她放在你最重要的日程上。更糟糕的是，如果你跟她說讓她不要再如此粘人和依賴，她會完全否認你的說法。而她會把這個當作她需要更加努力去贏得你注意的信號，然後她將會更多地去打攪你。看到這種惡性循環了吧？這種瘋子型女人永遠不會放棄，他們會會把你拖進她們自己關於感情和生活的不安中。如果你發現你正處於這種困境中，我鼓勵你吃下藍色的藥丸然後從即將發生的噩夢中醒過來。（看過Matrix黑客帝國的人應該知道是什麼東西，此處是一比喻，意為回到現實中來）

　　The Rebound

　　「尋求療傷對象的人」（尋找失戀期的療傷對象的女人）

This type of woman is probably the most notorious on this list. You"ve heard the warnings to avoid being the "rebound" guy, and it"s a proven piece of advice. But yet, so many of us mistakenly fall for a woman without having a clue about her past relationships. When we encounter a beautiful woman who makes a hell of a first impression, the attraction we feel is clockwork human behavior. We seem to skip over our judgments in the hope that this will be love at first sight. But in this day and age, we are more often than not led down the wrong path, and what guys see as a blessed relationship is really just a temporary comfort for her.

　　這種類型的女人很可能是這份名單中最不好的了。你已經聽過關於不要成為「救生圈男友」的警告了，這是條被證明過很多次的建議。然而，我們中的許多人還是錯誤的在沒有了解過她的過去情感經歷時就和她開始了戀愛。當我們遇到一個漂亮的讓你印象深刻的女人，我們感受到的吸引力是人類本能的反應。我們好像忽略了自己的判斷而第一眼後就期望這是愛情。但是在這個時代，我們更多的被這種感覺帶到的是錯誤的道路上，男人們眼中天賜的感情其實只是那個女人尋求的短暫安慰而已。

The Rebound knows you are a good guy, so don"t think you"re failing the test. However, you"ve shown up at the right place at the wrong time -- the invitation said seven, but you arrived at six. You"re too early, and she"s not ready. It"s difficult to offer any advice on how to pinpoint these types of women, but a good indicator is how persistent her friends are in trying to set her up with you, and how reluctant she is to do it, much to the chagrin of her friends. If you sense reluctance, trust your instinct. Don"t bite.

　　尋求療傷對象的女人知道你是一個好人，所以不要認為自己不夠格。然而，你只是在錯誤的時間出現在正確的地方——邀請函寫著七點，而你在六點就到了。你來得太早了，而她並沒有完全準備好。準確地描述這種類型的女人是困難的，不過一個很好的指示是她的朋友是有多麼堅持撮合你和她而她自己則有多麼不情願這樣做，令她朋友頗感失望。如果你感覺到了她的不願意，相信你的直覺，不要找這種女人。

　　There"s Still Hope

　　凡事還是有希望的。

With your head now freshly crammed with the follies of the five sin-ettes, you"re probably wondering if there are any types out there that are worth pursuing. And my answer is: there most definitely are. You would be doing yourself a disservice to look for the types of women to avoid. Rather, find women that are your type and then decide whether to continue the pursuit. You can never go wrong by playing the field -- remember: not even trying is the biggest avoidance of all.

　　在你的頭腦已經被重新填充了這五種女人的種種不好後，你很可能想知道這世界上還有沒有某種女孩是值得去追求的。而我的答案是：那肯定是有的。你會自主地去尋找並避開某些類型的女人。更確切地說，去尋找你自己需要的類型然後決定是否繼續去追求。你在追求感情時不能出錯——記住：不去嘗試是需要避免的最大的忌諱！

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