如何提高你的社交技巧？

如何提高你的社交技巧

Over the last 11 months I have written a whole bunch of articles on how to improve one of the most valuable skill sets; your social skills.

過去11個月里我寫了一堆關於如何提高一個人最寶貴的技能的書；你的社交技能

Some of you that have read this blog from the beginning might have already read these articles.

那些從頭至尾關注我博客的人可能已經看過這些文章了

But since a lot of new readers have joined throughout this year I thought I?′d collect and bring up the articles again in case you?′ve missed some of them. I hope that they will provide you with at least a few useful tips.

不過既然今年又有越來越多的讀者加入進來，所以我想是否應該把這些文章都找出來然後重新發表一遍，這樣你們就不會錯過其中的一些文章了。我希望你們可以從中獲得至少一點有用的建議。

And that you will give yourself a break.

並且可以藉此機會讓自己好好休息一下

Take it easy. Don?′t beat yourself up if you at first fail when trying to improve a skill. And don?′t try to improve everything at once. Focus on one or a few things for a month and try to work on them in your day to day life. If you fail, that』s ok and normal. Just brush yourself off and try again.

沉住氣。當你嘗試著提升一項技能時，即便第一次就失敗了也不要氣餒。也不要想著一口氣就吃成個胖子。用一個月的時間專註一件或者幾件事， 並且要在日常生活中加以練習。如果失敗了，沒關係，這很正常。拍拍身上上的灰塵然後從頭再來。

Want better results? Take more action.

想要更好的結果嗎？那就採取進一步行動吧

The most important part of improving your social skills is just to take more chances, show up at more social functions and to interact more with people. So a good place to start might be with these three articles:

提高社交技能最重要的部分就是懂得利用更多的機會和社會功能與更多的人交流。從以下三篇文章做起也許會是個好的開始：

7 Ways to Break Out of Your Comfort Zone and Live a More Exciting Life 」If you want to improve your life you』ll sooner or later need to step out of that zone. Because it』s there you』ll find all those new and exciting experiences. Where you』ll find freedom from boredom.」

七種方法教你打破舒適區從而過上一種更加愜意的生活

「如果你想改善生活，跳出舊的生活模式是早晚的事。只有這樣你才能發現更加新奇的體驗，才能從枯燥的生活中體會自由的存在。」

Top 24 Tips for Making Your Self-Confidence Soar 」Although we may not want to admit it publicly I think a lot of us feel like we could use an improvement in self confidence. Fortunately there are better advice out there than the often exclaimed 「Just be more confident, man!」 or 「Have another beer!」.」

24條秘訣助你信心飆升

「儘管我們不大情願公開承認，但大多數人都覺得有必要找到辦法來提高自己的自信。幸好，還有些比我們常說的如「自信點，夥計！」或是「再來一瓶！」更好的建議。」

5 Life-Changing Keys to Overcoming Your Fear 」What is stopping you from getting what you want in life? Your friends? Your family? A sense that failure – or success – might change your life and that feeling uncomfortable? A sense that the people around you might disapprove of you aiming for what you want, of you succeeding or failing.」

改變生命克服恐懼的5個關鍵

「是什麼在阻止你得到生活中想要得到的東西呢？你的朋友？家人？一種失敗或成功都可能讓生活改變的不好感覺？還是一種害怕周圍的人無論成敗都否定自己追求的恐懼。」

Body language is a BIG part.

肢體語言是重頭戲

I think it』s pretty important to note early on that what you say is only 7 percent of communication. Body language is 55 percent and voice tonality 38 percent.

我覺得大有必要事先聲明你所說的其實在交際中只佔到7%的比重。肢體語言佔到55%，聲音則是38%。

So if you are not getting the results you』d like, if something in general feels off about your people skills then it might have little to do with what words you are using. So, say that you』d like to improve your body language since it?′s such a huge part of communication. Where do you go?

如果你沒有得到自己想要的結果，如果你在交際上有所不順，那可能跟你的措辭並無太大關係。所以，既然肢體語言在交際中佔到如此大的比例，那麼就對提升肢體語言表現得樂意點吧。你接下來打算怎麼做呢？

6 Reasons to Improve Your Body Language 」When we』re in school or at work, we』re taught to improve our words. We learn to improve our language and words to impress. We learn to construct clever chains of words to gain an upper hand and to communicate more clearly. But when we grow up we learn very little beyond improving our words.」

你需要提高肢體語言的6大原因

「無論是在學校還是在工作中我們都被教導要提高我們的語言表達能力。我們學會改善語言讓別人感到印象深刻。我們學會巧妙地組織措辭從而更加清楚地表達自己並在交際中佔據上風。但是等我們長大後才發現，除了提高文字能力外，我們其實什麼也沒學到。」

18 Ways to Improve Your Body Language 」Here is just a few of many pointers on how to improve your body language. Improving your body language can make a big difference in your people skills, attractiveness and general mood.」

提高肢體語言的18種方法

「這裡僅僅列出了一小部分關於如何提高肢體語言能力的觀點。提高了肢體語言能力將大大提高你的交際能力，使你的魅力指數與心情大不一樣。」

Talk, talk, talk.

交談，交談，還是交談

Now, on to conversations. Here are six articles with both broad pointers and smaller, specific tips:

現在輪到會話了。這裡有六篇文章，中間既包括寬泛的觀點，也有小的、明確的建議：

How to Make a Great Impression 」First impressions can be quite important. Everyone stereotypes everyone on first impression, even if we are reluctant to do it. We all get a first impression of a new person that creates a mental image of his or her personality in our minds. That image of you often lasts and can affect the relationship that follows.」

怎樣讓人印象深刻

「第一印象顯得尤其重要。每個人都固執於第一印象，即便我們往往並不想如此。每當我們對一個陌生人產生第一印象時我們就會在腦中刻畫出他或她的個人形象，而這種形象通常會持續一段時間甚至影響到兩人關係的進一步發展。」

Five Awesome and Five Awful Conversation Topics 」「So, what should I talk about?」 When it comes to conversations I think this is one question we have asked both others and ourselves many, many times. Often in our heads, when already in a conversation, with an awkward silence looming and while trying to scramble for something to say.」

5個絕佳和5個糟糕的會話話題

「那，我該談些什麼呢？一說到會話，我想這個問題我們已經問過自己和其他人許多許多次了。這個問題時常在腦海迴轉，尤其是當我們身處談話之中卻又被可怕的沉默籠罩並苦思冥想尋找談話主題的時候。」

Do You Make These 10 Mistakes in a Conversation? 」Can you improve your conversation skills? Certainly. It might take a while to change the conversation habits that』s been ingrained throughout your life, but it is very possible. To not make this article longer than necessary let』s just skip right to some common mistakes many of us have made in conversations. And a couple of solutions.」

你在會話時會犯這10個錯誤嗎？

「你可以提高自己的交際能力嗎？當然，要想改變已經根深蒂固的交際習慣可能得花點時間，但這的確是可行的。為了不讓這篇文章顯得廢話連篇，我們直奔主題看看我們在談話中的常見錯誤。還有一些解決方法。」

5 Conversational Mistakes that Can Make You Look Dumb 「The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

- Dorothy Nevill」

交際中讓你顯得愚蠢的5個錯誤

「交際的真正藝術不僅僅是在對的場合談論對的事，還是在關鍵時刻能剋制自己不受誘惑說出不該說的事。」——德羅西·內維爾

One Easy Way to Remember Someone』s Name 」I have a pretty good memory for faces. I can remember them for years after just meeting them once or twice. Names are a whole different thing though. I just can』t remember them. When I hear them they just seem flow into one ear and flap away to freedom from the other one.」

一個簡單的法子教你記住他人名字

「我認人相貌的記性特別好。只消見面一兩次我就可以長時間地記住他們的長相。然而名字是完全另外一回事。我就是記不住。每當我聽到一個名字，最後結果往往就是左耳朵進右耳多出。」

Focus Outward to Win Friends and Improve your People Skills 」One common mistake in conversations of any kind is to turn your focus the wrong way. You (and I) may often focus too much on ourselves while at a party, at work, at school, online or in just about any setting instead of shifting your focus outward, toward the person we are talking with. Why do we do that?」

關注他人以贏得朋友的關注，並以此提高你的交際能力

「會話中一個容易犯的錯誤就是把注意力放錯了位置。在派對上、工作中、學校里、網上或者其它的任何場合，你（和我）可能都過度關注自己，而我們應該將注意力轉移到其它方面，尤其是正在與我們交談的那個人。我們為什麼要這樣做呢？」

On Criticism.

關於批評

Criticism is often a sore spot in communication that creates a lot of misunderstandings and can become hurtful (even if it was not intended to be). I』ve written two articles on this topic. One about giving criticism and one about receiving it.

批評總會給會話帶來不快並導致一系列誤解，甚至有時會讓人很受傷（即便批評者的本意並非如此）。我有些過兩篇關於這方面的文章。一篇是講如何提出批評，另一篇則是講如何接受批評。

One Easy Way to Give More Effective Criticism 」It was back at the university that I first came across this technique for improving the way you criticise. Whenever we had done an exercise in writing, editing or something like that we used this method.」

一個簡單的法子讓你提出的批評更有價值

「在讀大學的時候我第一次接觸到提高批評方式的技巧。每當我們有寫作、編輯或類似的練習時就會用到這個方法。」

How to Handle Criticism and get Something Good Out of It 」Receiving criticism isn』t always fun. However there are ways to handle it in a less hurtful way and – sometimes – get something good out of it. Here are a few pointers I have found useful when dealing with criticism.」

如何應對批評並從中獲益

「接受批評並不總是一件有趣的事。不過，總有些方法可以讓你泰然處之免受傷害——並且有時——還能可以從中獲益。以下是我找到的一些應對批評時有效的法子」

What all those other people said about communication and relationships.

其他人如何看待交流和人際關係

Finally, there are quite a few small collections with quotes from various wise and clever people in the archives of this blog. At least six of these collections are relevant – in some way or another – when you want to improve your social skills and relationships.

最後，我的博客存檔里收集了不少名人名言。當你想提高社交技巧與人際關係時，其中至少有6條是與之相關的——某種程度上而言。

22 Inspirational Quotes on Fear 」When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson」

22條戰勝恐懼的勵志名言

「當一個有意志青年走向一個盛氣凌人的惡霸並能夠勇敢的抓住他的鬍子，他會驚奇的發現那個人會後退，原來他只能嚇跑那些膽小鬼。——拉爾夫·沃爾多·愛默生」

10 Inspirational Quotes on Forgiveness 」When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.

- Catherine Ponder」

10條關於寬恕的勵志名言

「如果你對一個人有反感，那麼你必然在情感上對他有種死結，比鋼鐵還要結識。只有原諒他人是打開死結獲得心靈自由的唯一辦法。——凱瑟琳·龐德」

17 Inspirational Quotes on People Skills 」You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. Which is just another way of saying that the way to make a friend is to be one.

- Dale Carnegie」

17條關於人際技巧的勵志名言

「如果你真正對他人感興趣，那麼你在兩個月內能結交許多朋友。而如果你試圖讓別人對你感興趣，恐怕你得花上兩年時間。這也是結交朋友的另一種方法。——戴爾·卡耐基」

10 Inspirational Quotes on Relationships 」Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they』re trying to find someone who』s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.

- Anthony Robbins」

10條建立人際關係的勵志名言

「建立人際關係中最大的挑戰來自於這一事實，很多人想利用關係得到些什麼：他們試圖找到能使他們感覺良好的人。現實中，維持關係的唯一方法就是將你們的關係視作一個你願意去付出而不是去索取的地方。——安東尼·羅賓斯」

25 Great Quotes on Leadership 」To lead people, walk beside them … As for the best leaders, the people do not notice their existence. The next best, the people honor and praise. The next, the people fear; and the next, the people hate … When the best leader』s work is done the people say, 『We did it ourselves!

- Lao-Tsu」

25條關於領導力的名言

「領導人們，就要和他們一同行走，對於最好的領導者，人們不會在意他們的存在。次好的領導，人們會尊敬和讚美他們。第三位的，人們畏懼他們;再下一位的，人們討厭他們。當最好的領導工作完成後，人們會說，『那是我們共同的成績！』——老子」

9 Great Quotes on Criticism 」Criticism is an indirect form of self-boasting.

- Emmet Fox」

9條關於批評的名言

「批評就是一種間接的自我吹捧。——埃米特·福克斯」

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