他出軌了，我可咋整啊？

Saturday

艾瑪，這年頭，出軌已經成了常事了。Ta真出軌了我可咋整啊？

This is one of the most emotionally challenging ordeals that you can face in your entire life. And here I』m going to teach you a few things you can do right now to help yourself cope with the situation.

這可能是你這輩子情感上面能經歷的最嚴酷的考驗。這裡會教你一些即時可以做的事情來應付這種情況。

So, if your spouse has cheated on you and you just don』t know what to do, read below to the very end and I guarantee you that there will be a few things that you can do to help you out and your spouse.

如果你的伴侶出軌了而你又不知道如何做，繼續往下面讀，一直讀到末尾，我保證，這裡會有一些你可以幫助到自己和伴侶的事情。

Tip 1 Accept The Situation

建議1 接受現狀

It can be the most difficult thing in the world to just suck it up and accept, but in order to actually heal these wounds, you need to first accept the situation.

世上最難的事莫過於忍耐和接受，但是為了真正意義上治癒這些傷口，你先學會接受現狀。

Accept that you』re angry, sad, depressed, confused, uncertain and highly stressed. And most importantly, accept that your spouse has cheated on you. This is the first step before you can take action and move on.

接受自己的憤怒，悲傷，抑鬱，困惑，茫然和巨大壓力。最重要的是，接受你的伴侶出軌的事實。在做出任何反應之前，這是第一步。

Tip 2 Don』t Make Rushed Decisions

建議2 不要草率決定

When someone punches you in the face, your primal, gut reaction is to punch them back, right? In the case of your spouse cheating, your primal reaction might be to physically hurt your spouse, say horrible things to them, and file for divorce the very next day. You』re going to have to try to avoid these things. Take a moment, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Don』t do something that you』ll regret.

當一個人朝你打一拳，你的第一個本能反應就是打回去，是吧？在你伴侶出軌的情況，你先想打ta，然後對ta說各種惡毒的話，然後第二天立馬訴訟離婚。你要嘗試避免這樣的事情，淡定，閉上雙眼，深呼吸。不要去做會讓你後悔的事情。

Tip 3 Don』t Ignore Your Body

建議3 不要忽略你的身體

It』s very common to experience sleep problems, shakiness and nausea in reaction to it. Not taking care of your body during this very sensitive period can lead to you feeling much, much worse than you are right now. Remember to get your exercise and drink plenty of water.

面對這種情況，經歷睡眠問題，顫抖，噁心是非常正常的。在這個敏感的時期不好好照顧你的身體會讓你感到比你現在還痛苦得多！記得去鍛煉加上喝足夠的水。

Tip 4 Find Laughter With Friends

建議4 和朋友一起找回笑聲

It』s easy to just do 「nothing」. It』s easy to just wake up and stay in bed, wallowing in depression and sadness. It』s acceptable at first but soon you』re going to have to find some happiness. Watch a funny movie or hang out with a friend that makes you laugh. Laughter truly can be the best medicine.

現在很容易就發獃，很容易就醒來就呆床上，在抑鬱和悲傷中滾來滾去。最開始這樣是可以接受的，不過很快你就必須自己去找些樂子，看一部好笑的電影或者和一個能讓你笑起來的朋友出去玩。笑聲是最好的藥物。

Tip 5 Seek Help

建議5 尋求幫助

There』s no need to go through this traumatic experience alone. You don』t have to seek professional help but find someone who you know and you can trust. Tell them everything and count on them to provide you with thoughtful advice. Remember people do care about you.

沒有必要獨自經歷這個創傷性的過程。你沒有必要非得去找專業的幫助，但是你可以找一個你了解的，能信任的人，告訴他們所有的事情，讓他們給你提供周全的意見。記住，人們是關心你的。

Tip 6 Don』t Be Afraid To Vent

建議6 不要害怕釋放負能量

A lot of people find it helpful to start a journal and write things down about how they feel about their spouses』 unfaithfulness. But you don』t have to write, you can paint, you can work, you can read. Put all that negative energy into something positive. And I can』t guarantee that you』ll be happy you』ll definitely find some sort of solace in it.

很多人覺得在日記裡面寫下自己對對方出軌行為的感受會很有幫助。你沒有必要寫，可以畫畫，可以工作，可以閱讀。把所有負能量變成正能量，我保證你會在這裡面找到一些安慰的。

Tip 7 Get Some Time Away

建議7 一段時間的遠離

Right now it probably hurts to even look at your spouse because infidelity is all that you can think about. If it』s possible, allow yourself some time to stay at your parent"s place for a few nights, or even a close friend』s. By doing so, you do 2 things. 1- It gives you time to clear your head. 2- It allows your spouse to see how much is at stake.

這個時候甚至看一下你的伴侶心裡都很痛，因為你的腦子裡全是出軌。如果可能的話，去父母或者朋友家裡住幾個晚上。這期間，你去做兩件事：1. 梳理你的頭腦，2. 這也讓你伴侶意識到意識的嚴重性。

Tip 8 Don』t Get Children Involved

建議8 不要讓孩子卷進來

If you do have children, your children need to know that you』re going to be OK through all of this. Be honest with your children and let them know you』re going through some personal trauma.

你有孩子的話，應該讓孩子知道你會好好的，對孩子說真話，讓他們知道你正在經歷個人的創傷。

Tip 9 Ask Yourself If You Still Love Your Spouse

建議9 問自己你還愛ta嗎

1. If the answer』s 『yes』, there is no doubt that everyone deserves a second chance.

1. 如果答案是『愛』，那麼毫無疑問，每個人都值得一個二次機會。

2. If the answer is 『yes』, but this is not the first time your spouse has cheated on you, or if the answer』s simply 『no』, then obviously it』s time to explore some other options.

2. 如果答案是『愛』，但這不是ta第一次出軌，或者就是『不』，那麼很明顯考慮其他選項的時候到了。

英音美音可以同時切換，對語音有非常尖銳的耳朵和靈活的舌頭，能從中國人的角度，教你怎麼把英語說地道，可以用西班牙語進行一般交流。20歲做工程師，環繞地球三圈。個人公眾號：scottsEnglish

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