無限的愛（轉載）

無限的愛我哥哥吉米出生時遇上難產，因為缺氧導致大腦受損。兩年後，我出生了。從此以後，我的生活便圍繞我哥哥轉。伴隨我成長的，是「到外面去玩，把你哥哥也帶上。」不帶上他，我是哪裡也去不了的。因此，我慫恿鄰居的孩子到我家來，盡情地玩孩子們玩的遊戲。我母親教吉米學習日常自理，比如刷牙或系皮帶什麼的。我父親宅心仁厚，他的耐心和理解使一家人心貼著心。我則負責外面的事，找到那些欺負我哥哥的孩子們的父母，告他們的狀，為我哥哥討回公道。父親和吉米形影不離。他們一道吃早飯，平時每天早上一道開車去海軍航運中心，他們都在那裡工作，吉米在那搬卸標有彩色代號的箱子。晚飯後，他們一道交談，玩遊戲，直到深夜。他們甚至用口哨吹相同的曲調。所以，父親1991年因心臟病去世時，吉米幾乎崩潰了，儘管他盡量不表現出來。他就是不能相信父親去世這一事實。通常，他是一個令人愉快的人，現在卻一言不發，無論說多少話都不能透過他木然的臉部表情了解他的心事。我雇了一個人和他住在一起，開車送他去上班。然而，不管我怎麼努力地維持原狀，吉米還是認為他熟悉的世界已經消失了。有一天，我問他：「你是不是想念爸爸？」他的嘴唇顫抖了幾下，然後問我：「你怎麼看，瑪格麗特？他是我最好的朋友。」接著，我倆都流下了眼淚。六個月後，母親因肺癌去世，剩下我一人來照顧吉米。吉米不能馬上適應去上班時沒有父親陪著，因此搬來紐約和我一起住了一段時間。我走到哪裡他就跟到哪裡，他好像適應得很好。但吉米依然想住在我父母的房子里，繼續干他原來的工作。我答應把他送回去。此事最後做成了。如今，他在那裡生活了11年，在許多人的照料下，同時依靠自己生活得有聲有色。他已成了鄰裡間不可或缺的人物。如果你有郵件要收，或有狗要遛，他就是你所要的人。當然，母親的話沒錯：可以有一個家，既能容納他的缺陷又能裝下我的雄心。事實上，關照像吉米這樣一個深愛又感激我的人，更加豐富了我的生活，其他任何東西都不能與之相比。這一點，在9·11災難後幾天更顯真切。那天是吉米57歲生日。我在紐約自己的家裡為他舉辦生日宴會，但是我們家的人都沒能來參加，因為交通困難，而且災難帶來的恐懼使他們依然心有餘悸。我邀請了我的好友，請他們來幫忙把宴會弄得熱鬧些，增加點歡快氣氛，沒去理會他們多數人在情感上都有些疲憊這一事實。於是我一反常態，沒說「請不要帶禮物」，而是向他們喊「請帶禮物來」。我的朋友──吉米認識他們多年了──帶來了中意的禮物：鄉村音樂CD、一件長袖運動衫、一條有「吉米」字樣的皮帶、一頂編織的羊毛帽，還有一套牛仔服。那天晚上，我們先是送禮物，然後是切從他喜歡的麵包店裡買來的巧克力蛋糕，當然還唱了「生日歌」，否則宴會就不算完整了。吉米一次次地問：「該切蛋糕了吧？」等用完餐和送完禮物後，吉米再也控制不住了。他焦急地等著點上蠟燭，然後在我們「生日快樂」的歌聲中，一口長氣吹滅了蠟燭。戶然而吉米對我們的努力還是感到不滿足。他縱身跳到椅子上，直挺著身子，雙手食指朝天，一邊喊一邊指揮我們唱歌：「再──來──次！」我們全力以赴地唱。待我們唱完時，他翹起兩個拇指喊道：「好極了！」本來我們想讓他知道，無論世上有多難的事情，總是有人來關心他。現在反倒是提醒了我們自己。對於吉米來說，我們唱歌時的愛心，是他心中額外的禮物，但是他原先更想看到的，是別人再次感到快樂。有如父親的去世一夜之間改變了吉米的世界，9·11也改變了我們的生活；我們熟悉的世界不復存在了。但是，當我們為吉米唱歌，相互緊擁，祈禱全球和平時，我們也意識到，朋友、家人間永恆的愛和支持可以讓我們克服生活中的任何困難。吉米以樸素的方式為我們協調了眼前的一切，他做到這一點並不令人吃驚。吉米的愛可以征服一切，這是任何東西都限制不了的。Love Without LimitationsMy brother, Jimmy, did not get enough oxygen during a difficult delivery, leaving him with brain damage, and two years later I was born. Since then, my life revolved around my brother"s. Accompanying my growing up was always "go out and play and take your brother with you". I couldn"t go anywhere without him, so I urged the neighborhood kids to come to my house for some out-of-control kid-centered fun.My mother taught Jimmy practical things like how to brush his teeth or put on a belt. My father, a saint, simply held the house together with his patience and understanding. I was in charge outside where I administered justice by tracking down the parents of the kids who picked on my brother, and telling on them.My father and Jimmy were inseparable. They ate breakfast together and on weekdays drove off to the navy shipping center every morning where they both worked—Jimmy unloaded color-coded boxes. At night after dinner, they would talk and play games late into the evening. They even whistled the same tunes.So when my father died of a heart attack in 1991, Jimmy was a wreck, beneath his careful disguise He was simply in disbelief. Usually very agreeable, he now quit speaking altogether and no amount of words could penetrate the vacant expression he wore on his face. I hired someone to live with him and drive him to work, but no matter how much I tried to make things stay the same, even Jimmy grasped that the world he"d known was gone. One day I asked, "You miss Dad, don"t you?" His lips quivered and then he asked, "What do you think, Margaret? He was my best friend." Our tears began to flow.My mother died of lung cancer six months later and I alone was left to look after Jimmy.He didn"t adjust to going to work without my father right away, so he came and lived with me in New York City for a while. He went wherever I went and seemed to adjust pretty well. Still, Jimmy longed to live in my parents" house and work at his old job and I pledged to help him return. Eventually, I was able to work it out. He has lived there for 11 years now with many different caretakers and blossomed on his own. He has become essential to the neighborhood. When you have any mail to be picked up or your dog needs walking, he is your man.My mother was right, of course: It was possible to have a home with room for both his limitations and my ambitions. In fact, caring for someone who loves as deeply and appreciates my efforts as much as Jimmy does has enriched my life more than anything else ever could have.This hit home a few days after the September 11th disaster on Jimmy"s 57th birthday. I had a party for him in my home in New York, but none of our family could join us because travel was difficult and they were still reckoning with the sheer terror the disaster had brought. I called on my faithful friends to help make it a merry and festive occasion, ignoring the fact that most of them were emotionally drained and exhausted. Instead of the customary "No gifts, please", I shouted, "Gifts! Please!"My friends—people Jimmy had come to know over the years—brought the ideal presents: country music CDs, a sweatshirt， one leather belt with "J-I-M-M-Y" on it, a knitted wool hat and a cowboy costume. The evening led up to the gifts and then the chocolate cake from his favorite bakery, and of course the ceremony wasn"t complete without the singing.A thousand times Jimmy asked, "Is it time for the cake yet?" After dinner and the gifts Jimmy could no longer be restrained. He anxiously waited for the candles to be lit and then blew them out with one long breath as we all sang "Happy Birthday". Jimmy wasn"t satisfied with our effort, though. He jumped up on the chair and stood erect pointing both index fingers into the air to conduct us and yelled, "One... more... time!" We sang with all of the energy left in our souls and when we were finished he put both his thumbs up and shouted, "That was super!"We had wanted to let him know that no matter how difficult things got in the world, there would always be people who cared about him. We ended up reminding ourselves instead. For Jimmy, the love with which we sang was a welcome bonus, but mostly he had just wanted to see everyone else happy again.Just as my father"s death had changed Jimmy"s world overnight, September 11th changed our lives; the world we"d known was gone. But, as we sang for Jimmy and held each other tight afterward praying for peace around the world, we were reminded that the constant love and support of our friends and family would get us through whatever life might present. The simplicity with which Jimmy had reconciled everything for us should not have been surprising. There had never been any limitations to what Jimmy"s love could accomplish.
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