繽紛英語：比爾·蓋茨的成長故事
05-29
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| Spend time with the family of Bill Gates, and eventually someone will mention the water incident. The future software mogul was a headstrong 12-year-old and was having a particularly nasty argument with his mother at the dinner table. Fed up, his father threw a glass of cold water in the boy"s face. "Thanks for the shower," the young Mr. Gates snapped. The incident lives in Gates family lore not just for its drama but also because it was a rare time that Bill Gates Sr., father of his famous namesake, lost his cool. The argument presaged a turning point in the life of a tempestuous boy that would set him on course to become the Bill Gates whom the public knows as co-founder of Microsoft Corp. and the world"s richest man. Behind the Bill Gates success story is the other William Gates. The senior Mr. Gates balanced a family thrown off kilter by a boy who appeared to gain the intellect of an adult almost overnight. He served as a quiet counsel as his son jumped into and thrived in the cutthroat business world. When huge wealth put new pressure on the son, the elder Gates stepped in to start what is now the world"s largest private philanthropy.
Bill Gates Sr., 83 years old, is now co-chair of his son"s $30 billion philanthropy, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. He has avoided the spotlight. The public details of his life include little beyond his official biography at the foundation, which says he was a Seattle lawyer, World War II veteran, nonprofit volunteer and father of three. He has compiled his thoughts on life in a short book to be published next week. In interviews with The Wall Street Journal, Bill Gates Sr., Bill Gates and their family shared many details of the family"s story for the first time, including Bill Gates Jr."s experience in counseling and how his early interest in computers came about partly as a result of a family crisis. The sometimes colliding forces of discipline and freedom within the clan shaped the entrepreneur"s character. The relationship between father and son entered a new phase when the software mogul began working full-time seven months ago at the Gates Foundation. For the past 13 years, the father has been the sole Gates family member with a daily presence at the foundation, starting it from the basement of his home and minding it while his son finished up his final decade running Microsoft. They now work directly together for the first time. At six-foot-six, Bill Gates Sr. is nearly a full head taller than his son. He"s known to be more social than the younger Bill Gates, but they share a sharp intellect and a bluntness that can come across to some as curt. He isn"t prone to introspection and he plays down his role in his son"s life. "As a father, I never imagined that the argumentative, young boy who grew up in my house, eating my food and using my name would be my future employer," Mr. Gates Sr. told a group of nonprofit leaders in a 2005 speech. "But that"s what happened." The first stage -- argumentative young boy -- "started about the time he was 11," Mr. Gates Sr. says in one of a series of interviews. That"s about when young Bill became an adult, says Bill Sr., and an increasing headache for the family. Until that time, the Gates home had been peaceful. Bill Sr. and his wife, Mary, had three children: Kristi; then Bill, born in 1955; and Libby. It was a close family that thrived on competitions -- board games, cards, ping-pong. And on rituals: Sunday dinners at the same time every week, and at Christmas, matching pajamas for every family member. While very involved in his kids" lives, Mr. Gates Sr. was somewhat distant emotionally, which his children say probably reflects his generation. His stature, combined with a lawyerly bent for carefully choosing his words, also made him intimidating at times. "He"d come home and he"d sit in a chair and eat dinner, but there was never any kind of warm, give-me-a-hug kind of thing," says Kristi Blake, his oldest daughter. Mr. Gates Sr. left much of the day-to-day parenting to his wife while he was building his career at a Seattle law firm. Daughter of a Seattle banker, Ms. Gates had been an athlete and top student in high school and college, where she met Bill Sr. She became a full-time volunteer and served on corporate boards. Ms. Gates encouraged her kids to study hard, play sports and take music lessons. (Bill Gates tried the trombone with little success.) And she imparted a discipline that reflected her upbringing in a well-to-do family. She expected her kids to dress neatly, be punctual and socialize with the many adults who visited their home. For the most part, young Bill dutifully abided."She was the most engaged parent and she had high expectations of all of us," says Libby Armintrout, Bill"s younger sister. "Not just grades and that sort of thing, but how we behaved in public, how we would be socially." Bill Gates at an early age became a diligent learner. He read the World Book Encyclopedia series start to finish. His parents encouraged his appetite for reading by paying for any book he wanted. Still, they worried that he seemed to prefer books to people. They tried to temper that streak by forcing him to be a greeter at their parties and a waiter at his father"s professional functions. Then, at age 11, Bill Sr. says, the son blossomed intellectually, peppering his parents with questions about international affairs, business and the nature of life. "It was interesting and I thought it was great," Mr. Gates Sr. says. "Now, I will say to you, his mother did not appreciate it. It bothered her." The son pushed against his mother"s instinct to control him, sparking a battle of wills. All those things that she had expected of him -- a clean room, being at the dinner table on time, not biting his pencils -- suddenly turned into a big source of friction. The two fell into explosive arguments. "He was nasty," Ms. Armintrout says of her brother. Mr. Gates Sr. played the role of peacemaker. "He"d sort of break them apart and calm things down," says Ms. Blake, the eldest sibling. The battles reached a climax at dinner one night when Bill Gates was around 12. Over the table, he shouted at his mother, in what today he describes as "utter, total sarcastic, smart-ass kid rudeness." That"s when Mr. Gates Sr., in a rare blast of temper, threw the glass of water in his son"s face.He and Mary brought their son to a therapist. "I"m at war with my parents over who is in control," Bill Gates recalls telling the counselor. Reporting back, the counselor told his parents that their son would ultimately win the battle for independence, and their best course of action was to ease up on him. Mr. Gates Sr. understood that counsel because of his own childhood, an hour"s ferry ride from Seattle in the working-class town of Bremerton. "There wasn"t a lot of structure to my growing up," he says. "I had an awful lot of discretion about where I went, what I did, who I did it with." His mother was doting and easygoing. His sister, his only sibling, was seven years older. And his father was a workaholic who sacrificed child-rearing to work at a furniture store he owned with a partner. "His complete focus was on the store," Bill Sr. says. Mr. Gates Sr. early on built a life outside of his home. Next door, the Braman family had two boys for him to play with and a father who would become his most important role model. That man, Dorm Braman, had built his business and would later become a Naval officer, mayor of Seattle and a U.S. assistant secretary of transportation. In the late 1930s, Mr. Braman brought Bill Sr. on family road trips across the country. He was scoutmaster of Bill Sr."s Boy Scout troop, leading the boys on hikes through the Olympic Mountains and driving them in a beat-up bus to Yellowstone and Glacier National Parks. The troop spent two years building a log house from Douglas firs they felled themselves. Mr. Braman had "no sense of personal limitations whatsoever," says Mr. Gates Sr. Bill Sr. and Mary ultimately took a page from that upbringing: They backed off. They enrolled their son in a school that they thought would give him more freedom. That was the private Lakeside School, now known as the place where Bill Gates discovered computers. Mr. Gates says he began to realize, ""Hey, I don"t have to prove my position relative to my parents. I just have to figure out what I"m doing relative to the world."" From age 13, he was given rare independence. He took off some nights to enjoy free use of the computers at the University of Washington. He spent chunks of time away from home -- much as his dad had done as a kid. He lived for a time in Olympia, where he was a page in the state legislature, and in Washington, D.C. as a Congressional page. During his senior year, he took a break from school to work as a programmer at a power plant in southern Washington. And in what would become his first major collaboration with Paul Allen, his future Microsoft cofounder, Mr. Gates designed the "Traf-O-Data", a device for counting cars traveling over a section of road. His parents played supporting roles. They acquiesced when Bill quit Harvard and then moved to Albuquerque, New Mexico, to start Microsoft. It was a tough decision to back. "Mary and I were both concerned about it -- I think she a bit more than I," Bill Sr. says. "Her expectations and mine were very ordinary expectations of people who have kids in college -- that they get a degree."The family support was one reason Mr. Gates decided to move Microsoft to Seattle, where he settled into a house not far from his parents. Ms. Gates arranged to have a maid clean her son"s house, and made sure he had clean shirts for his big meetings. She also insisted he kept observing the family traditions, including the weekly Sunday dinner at his parents" house. Mr. Gates Sr., drawing from his own experience as a lawyer guiding small companies, helped find Seattle businesspeople to serve on the Microsoft board. In 1980, Bill Gates brought his father along to dinner to help persuade college friend Steve Ballmer -- now Microsoft"s chief executive -- to quit graduate school and join Microsoft. The father"s law firm would also end up representing Microsoft, which became the firm"s biggest client. Bill Sr. eased his son"s worries about taking Microsoft public when Bill fretted that it would be a distraction for employees. The offering would turn Bill Gates into a billionaire. It also spawned the next challenge for the family. After the windfall, Ms. Gates pressed her son to get into philanthropy. At his father"s law office late one night, someone present recalls, Bill quarreled with his mother as she urged him to give money away. "I"m just trying to run my company!" he snapped, says the person in the office at the time. Mr. Gates says that at the time he wasn"t opposed to philanthropic work, he just didn"t want to be distracted from his duties at Microsoft. Eventually, she got her son to start a program at Microsoft to raise money for the United Way. He also followed his mother onto the national United Way board in the 1980s. But as Bill Gates"s wealth grew, letters from Seattle-area nonprofits asking for donations piled up. He says he planned to get serious about philanthropy after retiring from Microsoft, or at about 60 years old. That plan would be fast-tracked after Ms. Gates was diagnosed with a rare form of breast cancer. As she battled the disease, she continued to urge her son to do more philanthropy. Ms. Gates passed away in June 1994. The day of her funeral, the Gates family had dinner at home. Bill Sr. told his children not to worry about him, saying that he had about 10 good years left in him. He was 70 at the time. Still, after his wife died he was listless. About six months later, standing in a line for a movie with his son and daughter-in-law, Melinda, the elder Mr. Gates again broached the idea of philanthropy. He suggested he could start sifting through the requests for money and give some out.A week later, the software mogul set aside about $100 million to create a foundation that his father could run. Bill Gates Sr. later sat at his kitchen table and wrote the first check, $80,000 to a local cancer program. In the early days, Mr. Gates Sr., who soon remarried, would scribble a few notes on the most-promising requests for donations. He would then put them in a cardboard wine box that he periodically sent to his son"s house. The box would come back with Bill Jr."s responses. Mr. Gates Sr. would then reply to all the grant seekers, sometimes including a $1 million check with little more than a single-page letter of congratulations. Bill Sr. and a former Microsoft executive managed the foundation, doling out money, overseeing a staff of hundreds and expanding its purview to areas like education and vaccines. Mr. Gates Sr. says he hasn"t lost sight of the fact that he was playing the role of caretaker until his son and daughter-in-law took the helm. And after 53 years, he knows to give his son space. "He has very fixed ideas of some things," says Mr. Gates Sr. "The dynamic of the family is that you don"t cross him on those things, because it"s a waste of time." 跟比爾·蓋茨(Bill Gates)的家人一起談話，最後總會有人提到潑水事件。 當時，這位後來的軟體業大亨還是個12歲的任性男孩，吃飯時跟母親吵了個天翻地覆。他父親在一旁實在受夠了，端起一杯冷水潑到了小蓋茨的臉上。 小蓋茨咬牙切齒地說，感謝給我來了場淋浴。 蓋茨家的人之所以經常提到這件事，不僅因為它的戲劇性，還因為，對於老蓋茨(Bill Gates Sr.)來說，這是他少有的發火的時候。這次吵架預示著一個性格暴躁的小男孩的生活將出現轉折，他從此走上一條使他成為日後為公眾所知的比爾·蓋茨的道路，成了微軟公司(Microsoft Corp.)的創始人、也是世界上最富有的人。 在比爾·蓋茨的成功故事背後，是他的父親老蓋茨。老蓋茨恢復了被一個男孩打破的家庭平衡，這個男孩彷佛一夜之間長大了，具備了成年人的智慧。當兒子衝進殘酷的商業世界並在其中蓬勃發展的時候，老蓋茨靜靜地在一旁為他出謀劃策。當巨大的財富給兒子帶來新的壓力時，老蓋茨加入進來，發起了目前世界上規模最大的私人慈善基金。這家基金名叫比爾及梅林達·蓋茨基金會(Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation)，規模為300億美元。今年83歲的老蓋茨現在是基金會的聯席主席。他一向不願拋頭露面。人們對其生活的了解僅限於從基金會得來的官方個人介紹。其中提到，他是西雅圖的一名律師，曾參加過二戰，當過非營利組織的志願者，有三個孩子。他將自己對生活的想法寫成了一本小書，下周即將出版。 在接受《華爾街日報》採訪時，蓋茨父子及他們的家人首次透露了他們家庭生活中的許多細節，包括小蓋茨從事諮詢業的經歷，以及他早期對電腦的興趣在一定程度上可以說是一場家庭危機的結果。家庭內部講求紀律和追求自由的力量有時會互相衝突，而這些力量的共同作用塑造了比爾·蓋茨的性格。 隨著這位軟體巨頭7個月前開始全職為蓋茨基金會工作，父子間的關係也進入一個新階段。在過去13年時間裡，父親一直是所有家庭成員中唯一一位每天都會出現在基金會的人。他最早在家裡的地下室里創辦了這個基金會，在兒子經營微軟的最後10年中，他一直照看著基金會。現在，父子倆第一次直接在一起工作了。 老蓋茨身高6英尺6英寸，幾乎比兒子整整高出一頭。眾所周知，老蓋茨比兒子更擅長交際，但他們都有敏銳的才智，而且同樣直率，這種直率在一些人看來可能有點唐突。他不喜歡反省自己，而且他不認為自己在兒子的生活中有多大的重要性。 老蓋茨在2005年的一次演講中對一群非營利組織的領導者說，作為一名父親，我從沒想到那個在我家裡長大、吃著我的飯、名字也跟我一樣的愛爭論的小男孩將來會成為我的老闆。但事實就是這樣。 在系列採訪中的某一次，老蓋茨說，蓋茨成長的第一階段──愛爭論的小男孩──大約是從11歲的時候開始的。老蓋茨說，大約就是那個時候，小比爾長大了，而且越來越讓家裡人頭痛。 在那之前，蓋茨家一直都很寧靜。老蓋茨和妻子瑪麗有3個孩子：克里斯蒂(Kristi)、比爾（1955年出生）和利比(Libby)。這是一個親密的家庭，家人熱衷於競賽：各種棋盤遊戲、紙牌、乒乓球。還有各種固定習慣：比如每個周日同一時間的大餐；聖誕節的時候，全家每個人都穿同樣的睡衣。 雖然老蓋茨深深參與到孩子們的生活里，但他在感情上卻多少有點內斂，孩子們認為，這可能是他那代人的普遍特點。老蓋茨身材高大，加上身為律師喜歡小心措詞的習慣，也讓他有時顯得有點嚇人。他的大女兒克里斯蒂·布萊克(Kristi Blake)說，他回到家，坐到椅子上然後吃飯，但從來沒有諸如來個擁抱這樣的溫馨舉動。 在西雅圖一家律師事務所從業期間，老蓋茨將撫養孩子的日常工作大部分都留給了妻子。蓋茨太太是西雅圖一位銀行家的女兒，就讀高中和大學時，她一直都是運動員和優秀學生。她是在大學遇到老蓋茨的。後來她成了一名全職志願者，還曾在企業董事會任職。 瑪麗鼓勵孩子們刻苦學習，多運動，並學習音樂。（比爾·蓋茨曾學過長號，但沒有什麼建樹。）由於在富裕的家庭長大，因此瑪麗有著自己教育孩子的方式。她希望孩子穿著得體、守時重信、熱情好客。小蓋茨在多數情況下都謹遵母命。蓋茨的妹妹莉比·阿米特洛特(Libby Armintrout)說，她是最忙碌的家長，而且對我們抱有很高的期望。不僅關心我們的學習成績，還包括方方面面，比如我們在公共場合的行為，以及如何與人交往。 意志的鬥爭 蓋茨從小就非常努力。他從頭到尾讀完了整部《世界大百科全書》。他的父母也鼓勵他多讀書，但凡蓋茨想讀的書，他們都會買給他。 不過，父母卻擔心蓋茨過於沉迷於書籍，而忽略了人際交往。他們強迫小蓋茨參加他們舉辦的聚會，並在父親的專業會議上充當服務生，希望使其不再過度沉迷於書本。 老蓋茨說，兒子在11歲時便表現出與眾不同的智力水平，經常向父母問一些國際關係、商業和生命本質的問題。 老蓋茨說，這些問題很有趣，我認為這樣很好。現在可以告訴你，他母親並不欣賞這一點，甚至令她感到不安。 此時，蓋茨已開始不斷衝撞母親意欲控制他的本能，不斷引爆意志的較量。瑪麗對兒子的一切期待──保持房間乾淨、按時吃飯、不要咬鉛筆──忽然間成為雙方摩擦的起源。 最終，兩人爆發了一場激烈爭吵。 阿米特洛特在談到哥哥時說，他真的很討厭。 老蓋茨則扮演了和事佬的角色。蓋茨的姐姐說，他會將他們分開，安撫他們激動的情緒。 蓋茨12歲那年，在一次晚餐時，他同母親的大戰終於達到了高潮。在餐桌上，蓋茨沖著母親大吵大嚷，他現在將其描述為「極其不敬，帶有狂妄自大的孩子般的粗魯」。一向好脾氣的老蓋茨再也按捺不住心中怒火，將一杯水潑到了兒子的臉上。 他和妻子還帶孩子去看了心理醫生。蓋茨後來回憶道，他當時向心理醫生說，正在與想控制他的父母爆發戰爭。據說心理醫生當時告訴老蓋茨和瑪麗，他們的兒子最終將贏得「獨立戰爭」的勝利，他們最好減少對他生活的干涉。 老蓋茨理解這番忠告。他在布雷默頓一個工人家庭長大，從這裡乘渡輪到西雅圖大約要一個小時。他說，兒子與我的成長環境截然不同。我開始認真反省自己以前的行為以及與孩子的相處之道。 老蓋茨的母親對孩子比較溺愛，為人非常隨和。他只有一個年長7歲的姐姐。他的父親是一個工作狂，與人合夥經營一家傢具店，父親一門心思撲在工作上，沒有時間照顧孩子。老蓋茨說，他把全部精力都花在打理店鋪上。 老蓋茨的人生軌跡深受另一個家庭的影響，這就是隔壁的布拉曼(Braman)一家。布拉曼的兩個孩子成為他的玩伴，而父親多姆·布拉曼(Dorm Braman)則成為老蓋茨最重要的榜樣。 布拉曼自己創立了企業，後來曾擔任海軍軍官、西雅圖市市長以及美國運輸部副部長。上世紀30年代末，布拉曼一家帶著老蓋茨踏上了足跡遍布美國的公路之旅。在老蓋茨成為童子軍一員時，布拉曼曾是他們的團長，帶領他們攀登奧林匹克山，搭乘破舊的公共汽車遊覽黃石公園及冰川國家公園。這支童子軍團花了兩年時間，用自己砍伐的花旗松建造了一座木屋。老蓋茨說，布拉曼沒有任何性格缺陷。 老蓋茨和瑪麗最終掀開了撫養孩子的重要一頁：選擇放手。他們把兒子送到認為會給予孩子更大自由的學校。蓋茨就讀的是私立湖濱學校，這所學校現在因成為蓋茨首次接觸到計算機的地方而聞名於世。 蓋茨說，他開始意識到，他沒有必要證明自己在父母面前的地位，而是要向這個世界證明他自己。 少見的獨立性 從13歲開始，蓋茨就有了相當大的獨立性，這在當時很少見。有些晚上，他會去華盛頓大學享受免費使用的電腦。他大部分時間都不呆在家裡，就像他父親小時候一樣。蓋茨曾在奧林匹亞呆過，在那裡的州立法機構聽差，也曾在華盛頓特區的國會聽差。大四時，他休學去華盛頓州南部的一個發電廠做了程序員。當時，蓋茨與未來的微軟聯合創始人保羅·艾倫(Paul Allen)聯手設計了用於計算道路車流量的「Traf-O-Data」設備，這也是兩人之間的首次主要合作。他的父母對他非常支持。當蓋茨從哈佛退學，搬到新墨西哥州阿爾帕克基開創微軟時，他們默許了。像蓋茨這樣的決定通常很難獲得支持的。 蓋茨的父親說，我和瑪麗都對他的決定很擔心，我想她比我還要更加擔心一點兒；我們倆的期望和那些正在上大學的孩子們的父母們的平凡期望一樣，就是希望孩子能拿學位。 家人的支持是蓋茨決定將微軟搬到西雅圖的原因之一，他在距離父母家不遠的一座房子里安頓下來。蓋茨的母親安排了一個女傭打掃兒子的房子，保證他在參加重大會議時有乾淨的襯衫可以穿。她還堅持讓蓋茨遵照家族傳統，包括每周日要到父母家裡共進晚餐。 蓋茨的父親利用自己為小企業提供諮詢的律師經歷，幫助找到西雅圖的商人加入微軟董事會。1980年，蓋茨帶著他的父親一起赴宴，幫助說服蓋茨大學時的朋友、如今的微軟首席執行長鮑爾默(Steve Ballmer)放棄研究生學業，加入微軟。蓋茨父親的律師事務所後來還成了微軟的代理，它的最大客戶就是微軟。 微軟在面臨上市問題時，蓋茨擔心這會讓員工分心，他的父親打消了他的疑慮。上市讓蓋茨成了億萬富翁，也醞釀了蓋茨一家將要面對的新一輪挑戰。 走上慈善事業之路 微軟上市大賺一筆後，蓋茨的母親力勸他從事慈善事業。當時在場的一個人回憶說，一天晚上在蓋茨父親的律師事務所里，當蓋茨的母親勸他捐錢的時候，兩人吵了起來。 這個當時在辦公室的人說，蓋茨嚷道：「我只是想經營我的公司」。蓋茨表示，當時他並不反對慈善事業，他只是不想從微軟的工作中分心。 最後，蓋茨的母親成功說服他在微軟啟動一個計劃，為美國聯合慈善總會(United Way)籌集善款。他還跟隨母親的腳步，於80年代加入了美國聯合慈善總會的董事會。 不過隨著蓋茨財富的增加，西雅圖地區非營利機構請求捐款的信件像雪片一樣飛來。蓋茨說，他曾計劃從微軟退休後或是在60歲左右的時候，專心做慈善事業。 在蓋茨的母親被診斷患上一種罕見的乳腺癌之後，這個計劃的進度就加快了。在她與疾病抗爭期間，她仍在勸說兒子更多地投入慈善事業。蓋茨的母親於1994年6月去世。 葬禮的當天，蓋茨一家在家共進了晚餐。蓋茨的父親告訴孩子們不要擔心他，他說他還能再活上10年。當時他70歲。不過，在他的妻子去世之後，他就沒什麼精神了。 大約6個月之後，在和蓋茨小兩口子一起排隊進電影院時，老蓋茨再次提起慈善事業的想法。他建議蓋茨可以開始篩選募捐請求，並捐出一部分錢。 一周後，軟體大亨蓋茨撥出約1億美元創建了一個基金會，讓他的父親經營。蓋茨的父親後來坐在廚房的桌子邊，開出了基金會的第一張支票，給當地一項癌症計劃捐款8萬美元。 開始時，蓋茨的父親（他很快又再婚了）會在最有希望獲得捐款的請求上草草地做點注釋。然後放在一個裝葡萄酒的紙盒子里，定期送到兒子家。這個盒子隨後會返回來，上面附有蓋茨的回復。蓋茨的父親之後會向所有募捐人回信，有時候會附帶一張100萬美元的支票和一頁紙多一點兒的祝賀信。 蓋茨的父親和一位微軟前高管共同管理這個基金會，捐錢、監督數百名工作人員、將捐款範圍擴大到教育和疫苗研製。 蓋茨父親說，他一直沒有忘記這樣一個事實，直到他的兒子和兒媳接管之前，他都是在扮演看管人的角色。53年後，他知道要給兒子空間。 蓋茨父親說，蓋茨對一些事情的看法非常頑固，我們家庭的活力就在於在這些事情上不要干涉他，因為這隻會是浪費時間而已。 （實習編輯：顧萍） |
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