儕入美國娛樂圈主流的華裔笑星 Joe Wong

這位長相有些滑稽的人叫 Joe Wong（黃西），現在正在美國娛樂圈走紅，他一上場，隨便一句話，一個表情，甚至一個停頓，也會引起陣陣掌聲笑聲。他算是進入美國喜劇界的主流了，甚至被請到白宮去講笑話。另一位北京侃爺出身的北美崔哥（Brother Sway）雖然也用英文講過喜劇小品，譬如去咖啡館講中國功夫或者星巴克的笑話。但是崔哥比起 Joe Wang 來，顯得邊緣化多了，主要還是在華人社區有些名氣。Joe Wong 的演出有過非常宏大的場面，現場幾千上萬人，也曾出現在美國億萬觀眾的當紅電視節目里，聽眾總是被逗得前仰後合。Joe 顯然潛心研究過西方喜劇的路子，他的一鳴驚人是個異數。Joe 的英語並不純正，但他深諳西方文化的幽默要素和喜好。除了東方面孔給人以新鮮感外，他非常懂得怎樣向主流靠攏，譬如，美國人熱衷談性，有點類似於中國的成人笑話。Joe 第一次上全美電視夜間節目 Letterman Show 的一開始就講了個帶色的笑話迎合他們的趣味，說他讀到一個研究報告表明，性成熟的巔峰是18歲。他說，可我到了25歲才得知這一點（他是24歲從中國來美的）。他故意頓了一下，一臉茫然的樣子，說，在我蜜桃最成熟多汁的時候，怎麼就無緣被人咬一口呢？

"I read a report saying that a man reached their sexual peak at the age of 18, but I did not know this until I was 25. So the world would never know what a stud I was.    Nobody took a bite out of this peach when I was ripe."這個笑話暗喻東方的保守文化使得很多人生理成熟以後很久還不懂「人事」，比較西方的性早熟性開放，對比很強烈。引得老外笑到捧腹。他接著以移民生活為題材講笑話，說是為了公民入籍考試，他必須學習美國歷史，其中一個問題是：誰是本傑明-富蘭克林？"Who"s Benjamin Franklin?"I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?And the second one was:"What"s the 2nd Amendment?"I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?因為美鈔百元大票上印有富蘭克林的頭像，他於是調侃說：富蘭克林不就是我們商店被搶的誘因么？第二個問題：什麼是憲法第二修正案？第二修正案保障的是公民持槍自衛的權利。他接著用完全一樣的答案和語氣調侃第二修正案，暗諷該案具有很強的副作用，使得美國槍支管制鬆散，暴力案件加劇。這類笑話沒有深厚的文化背景是講不出來的，很多涉及敏感話題。雖然美國是言論自由的大國，面對億萬觀眾，尤其是面對上層社會比如白宮的時候，其中的分寸拿捏也很重要。Joe 做得非常好。當然名氣到了他這個層次，後面的高參估計也少不了。

這是Joe在白宮的經典段子，值得反覆咀嚼品味Joe 最出色的段子，我以為就是上面這則在白宮講美國政治的段子。為此他精心準備了很久，非常經典，相信會作為保留節目流傳下去。美國副總統拜登笑得很開心，奧巴馬因故沒有出席，也被 Joe 調侃了一番，暗示奧巴馬因為害怕被他開涮嚇得不敢來了。精彩之處比比皆是，比如下面幾段就讓人拍案叫絕，這是怎樣的天才！他先是當面拿副總統拜登開涮。他說，我來前就看過了副總的自傳，現在當面見到了他本人。他看了一眼拜登，然後轉向觀眾說，我不得不說，書上的拜登比他本人好太多了。這是諷刺他寫自傳過分美化和宣傳自己。這種無傷大雅的玩笑，貴為美國第二號人物，也只能報以掌聲。話題也說到移民後代為什麼要學雙語。其實第一代移民由於深厚的祖國情結，儘管自己生活在兩種文化的夾縫中難以進入西方文化的主流，卻也不願意看到自己的孩子完全「香蕉」化，於是特彆強調對中國語言的學習（也因此全美各地的周末中文學校越辦越紅火），怕孩子失去中華文化的根兒在西方社會迷失自己。Joe 卻故意把雙語學習的原因指向另一面，調侃美國。當兒子不喜歡學習繁瑣的中文，問父親為什麼要他學中文？Joe 的回答是：孩子，將來你如果做美國總統，你當然需要用英文來簽署法令，可你也要用中文與你最大的債主中國談判不是？奧巴馬不在場，Joe 也不放過，一樣開涮這位美國新總統。拿總統開玩笑是諧星到白宮表演的一個傳統了。總統與演藝界明星一樣，都是供大眾娛樂的。Joe 的諾貝爾和平獎的玩笑我開始覺得有些過分，但似乎並沒越線，滿場的政客名流一樣歡聲笑語。他說大家都批評奧巴馬太過軟弱，但是奧巴馬還在同時指揮著兩場戰爭啊，他們居然還授予他諾貝爾「和平」獎！沒有比這個更操蛋的事了吧。他停頓片刻，說，唯一可以想到的比這個更操蛋的事就是，如果你拿了諾貝爾和平獎，你卻轉贈給軍方（滿堂大笑）。後來他又開總統和副總統的玩笑，諷刺他們人浮於事，沒有效率。他說，如果我當總統，我要用降低生產率的方式徹底解決失業問題，這樣，一個人的活就讓兩個人來做，這就好比我們的總統和副總統的工作一樣。他也提到了奧巴馬的黑白混血背景給了他這個新移民以希望，既然半白半黑 (half black half white) 都可以登上權力顛峰，自己是半不白半不黑（half not black half not white）的少數族裔新移民，也應該一樣可以競選總統。最後Joe 開始 mock 自己的總統競選綱領，講的都是政治熱門話題，一樣嬉笑拉扯皆成幽默。首先諷刺競選口號往往都是華而不實的空架子，他說自己的競選口號是 Who cares （愛咋咋，誰管你？其雙關在他此前交代過自己的昵稱就是 Hu，Hu caress， 就是對選民保證他急大家所急）. 請看這個段子的上下文：You may be saying "Hey, what would be your campaign slogan?" You see, I spent ten years in the past decade (laughter) [20] oh you too? okay. (laughter) So I understand that American people are suffering, so my campaign slogan would be "Who Cares". (laughter)他先說的是同義重複的廢話  I spent ten years in the past decade，然後故意麵對觀眾的反應說，哦，原來你跟我一樣啊，一個 decade 中花費了十年，來觀察美國的社會問題，因而深知美國人民飽受經濟不景氣的煎熬。然後轉到這個 Who/Hu cares 的雙關語口號來：表面上是我才不在乎美國人民死活呢，實際是突出自己救民於水火的的親民形象。幾乎所有競選中的熱門話題都成為他的笑料。他說，為了爭取先鋒派年輕人的選票，他保證當選以後，不僅要使同性戀合法化，而且成為合法婚姻的必需形式（即，要讓異性婚姻非法化）。他諷刺美國高達50%的離婚率，也故意反著說：我現在是結婚了，可婚前我猶豫了很久，我想，哇，多麼可怕，有50%的婚姻會一直持續到老，掙脫不了。他說他有解決地球暖化的方案，就是把華氏改成攝氏，原來100度高溫，眨眼間就降到了40度了。Joe 在表演過程中，非常注意細節。比如，他說成為公民以後，他立馬把選票投給了奧巴馬和拜登。然後轉身看拜登，沒等拜登反應，他搶先說了聲不用謝（you are welcome）。這是給拜登一個措手不及，凸顯拜登反應遲緩。因為西方的習慣是無論何時你受惠於人，你都要表達謝意。Joe 說投票選了拜登，理所當然要領受拜登的謝意，所以他故作脫口而出，說了一聲不用謝。可是拜登還愣在那裡呢。我們的副總統大人顯得多麼遲鈍啊。Joe 講喜劇小品，不徐不疾，張弛有度。他對西方觀眾心理的把握很到位。他自我設計的形象是不露鋒芒，故作木納，甚至有點機器人似的一臉茫然，其幽默機智隱含其中。他的風格受到西方傳統的影響，遠勝於中國的相聲和小品。他的笑話在國人中據說不很討好。他自己在訪談中也說，他初出道在同胞人圈子裡講過，雖然精心準備了，會心而笑的卻不多，這使得他開始很喪氣，甚至懷疑自己是否是喜劇演員的材料。後來慧眼識才的還是老外。他在美國成為華裔諧星而廣為人知以後，他對記者說自己還不能算完全成功，一個成功的喜劇藝人不能僅僅局限於到俱樂部甚至電視上，表演幾個零星的段子，至少要演幾部電視情景喜劇（Sit-com）。他正在朝這個方向努力，最大的難關當然還是情景劇的劇本的創作。Joe 是一個從我們這代留學生新移民中成長出來的值得關注和期待的喜劇藝術家。他的出現有助於改善我們東方人過於拘謹，被主流社會和文化邊緣化的形象。===================為幫助讀者/聽眾了解這幾個段子，我在網路上搜到了熱心粉絲的兩個帖子，轉載如下：【附1】 Letterman Show transcript：Hi everybody. So... I"m Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn"t know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.I"m not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.I"m an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don"t speak English, go home!" I didn"t notice it for two years.I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:"Who"s Benjamin Franklin?"I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?And the second one was:"What"s the 2nd Amendment?"I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?"What is Roe vs. Wade?"I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he"s already a U.S citizen."So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"Now I have a sign in my car that says 」Baby On board.」This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.Thank you very much!==========================Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:1. Ben Franklin"s picture is on the US $100 bill.2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms."Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you"ll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".from：http://www.chenwangdesign.com/blog/2009/05/joe-wongs-letterman-show-script.html【附2】.

某網友：這幾天我很迷黃西/Joe Wong 3月17號在RTCA Dinner (The Radio and Television Correspondents Association Dinner，全美電台電視記者協會年會晚宴）上的表演。這個晚餐會是當天在C-SPAN 和C-SPAN2 頻道上現場直播的，但我直到幾天後才在youtube上看到的。實在太迷了，而且網上好像也沒見他的表演全文，我就決定把它的全文聽寫下來並集中注釋一下。聽寫中有個別詞不確定用"(??)" 標出來了。注釋（理解他的包袱是什麼意思）是靠的眾多的youtube、mitbbs上的留言，以及自己查字典和google。--------------------------------------------------------Transcript for Joe Wong at RTCA Dinner, aired on C-SPAN 3/17/2010Transcribed by PB-----------Good evening, everyone. My name is Joe Wong, but to most people, I"m known as "who?!" (laughter) which is actually my mother"s maiden name, (laughter) and the answer to my credit card security question. (laughter) [1]But joking aside, I just want to reassure everybody that I am invited here tonight. (laughter) [2]I grew up in China, who didn"t? (laughter) [3] And my childhood memories are totally ruined by my childhood. (laughter) When I was in elementary school, as part of the curriculum, I had to work at a rice paddy right next to a xxxxx quarry where they use explosives to break rocks, and that is where I learned that light travels faster than sound. (laughter) which is almost as slow as a flying rock. (laughter) [4]My dad was a grumpy guy, but occasionally he would try to cheer me up with jokes, but he doesn"t do it right. When I was seven, one day he said to me, "hey son, why is tofu better than centralized socialist economy?" (laughter) so five minutes later I said "why?" (laughter) He said "because I said so!" (laughter) [5]I came to the United States when I was 24, to study at Rice University in Texas. (some applaud cheers and some laughter) that wasn"t a joke (laughter) until now. (laughter) And I was driving this used car with a lot of bumper stickers that"s impossible to peel off. And one of them said "If you don"t speak English, go home". And I didn"t notice it for two years. (laughter)Like many other immigrants, we want our son to become the president of this country and we try to make him bilingual, you know, Chinese at home and English in public, which is really tough to do, because many times I have to say to him in public "Hey listen, if you don"t speak English, go home" (laughter) And he would say to me, "Hey dad, why do I have to learn two languages?" I said "son, once you become the president of the United States, you are going to have sign legislative bills in English, and talk to debt collectors in Chinese" (laughter) [6]When I graduated from Rice, I decided to stay in the United States, because in China, I can"t do the thing I do best here, being ethnic. (laughter) And in order for me to become a U.S. citizen, I have to take this American history lessons, where they ask us questions like "Who is Benjamin Franklin?", where I was like "ah, the reason our convenience store gets robbed?" (laughter) [7] "What"s the Second Amendament?", where I was like "ah, the reason our convenience store gets robbed?" (laughter) [8] "What is roe vs. wade?", where I was like "ah, two ways of coming to the United States?" (laughter) [9]Later on I read so much about the American history that I started to harbor white guilt. (laughter) [10] In the America they say that all men are created equal, but after birth, it kind of depends on the parents" income, or early education and health care. (laughter) I read in the Max House Men"s Health Magazine that President Obama every week has two cardio days and four weight lifting days. You see, I don"t have to exercise, because I have health insurance. (laughter) I live in Massachusetts now, where we have universal health care; then we elected Scott Brown (laughter) - talk about mixed messages. (laughter) [11] I think there was a movie about him - it"s called "Kill Bill" (laughter) [12]I"m honored to meet vice president Joe Biden here tonight, (Joe turned to face Biden) I actually read your autobiography, and today I see you. (Joe turned back to face audience) I think the book is much better. (laughter) They should"ve get guest cast Brad Pitt, or even Angelina Jolie. (laughter)So to be honest, I was really honored to be here tonight, and I prepared for months for tonight"s show, and I showed the white house my jokes about President Obama, and that is when he decided not to come. (laughter)[13] And he started to talk about immigration reforms, (laughter) Take that, Stephen Colbert (laughter) [14] And president Obama has always been accused of being too soft, but he was conducting two wars. and they still gave him the Nobel Peace Prize, and he accepted it. (laughter) You can"t be more bad ass than that. (laughter) where actually, I"m thinking the only way you can be more bad ass than that is if you take the Nobel Prize money and give it to the military. (laughter)We have many distinguished journalists here tonight, whom I consider as my peers. (laughter) because I used to write for campus newspaper. (laughter) I think journalism is the last refugee for puns. [15] Only on the newspaper can you say things like "I was born in the year of horse and that is why I"m a naysayer" (laughter) [16] my point exactly.And tonight is my first time on C-SPAN, which is a channel I obviously always watch, when I couldn"t stand the sensationalism and demagoguery of PBS? and QVC. (laughter) If I still couldn"t fall asleep after watching C-SPAN, there"s C-SPAN2 and C-SPAN3. (laughter) [17] Thank you very much. (laughter)So I became a U.S. citizen in 2008, which I"m really happy about. (applause) thank you very much. American is number one, (laughter) that"s true, "cause we won the world series every year. (laughter) [18]After becoming the U.S. citizen, I immediately registered to vote for Obama and Biden. (Joe turned to face Biden) you"re welcome. (laughter) You handed me a had me at "Yes We Can" (laughter) (Joe turned back to audience) that was the their slogan. (laughter)So after getting Obama and Biden elected, I felt this power trip. (laughter) And I start to think maybe I should run for president myself. Where, I have to take a step back and explain a little bit, you know, because I have always been a morose and pessimist guy. I felt that life is kind of like, pee into the snow in a dark winter night, you probably make a difference, but it"s really hard to tell. (laughter) [19] But now, we have a president who"s half black half white, it just gives me a lot of hope, because I"m half not black half not white. (laughter) Two negatives make a positive. (laughter)You may be saying "Hey, what would be your campaign slogan?" You see, I spent ten years in the past decade (laughter) [20] oh you too? okay. (laughter) So I understand that American people are suffering, so my campaign slogan would be "Who Cares". (laughter) [21]If elected, I would make same-sex marriage not only legal but required, (laughter) that will get me the youth vote.(laughter) You see I"m married now, but I used to be really scared about marriage, I was like "wow, 50% of all marriages end up lasting forever" (laughter)And I will eliminate unemployment in this country, by reducing the productivity of the American workforce. (laughter) so two people will have to do the work of one, just like the President and the Vice President,(laughter) or the Olsen twins. (laughter) [22]And despite heart disease and cancer, most Americans die of natural causes. So if elected, I will find a cure for natural causes. (laughter) You seem to like that one. (laughter) but you won"t be covered by health insurance though, (laughter) because of pre-existing conditions. (laughter)And I have a quick solution for global warming. I will switch from Fahrenheit to Celsius, (laughter) It was 100 degrees, now it"s 40. (laughter) You"re very welcome. (laughter)And I"m great with foreign policy. Because I am from China, and I can see Russia from my backyard. (laughter) I believe that Unilateralism is too expensive, and open dialog is too slow. So if elected, I will go with text messaging. (laughter) I will text our allies just to say hi, (laughter) and text our enemies when they are driving. (laughter) "OMG you"re building a nuclear weapon?" (laughter), "but you"re doing it wrong LOL" (laughter)I just want to thank Video TV correspondence xx xx for having me here tonight. This is the first time I wish my son knew what I was doing. Thank you so much and have a very good night. Thank you Linda Scott.-------註解: based on comments from youtube and mitbbs, dictionary look-up, and google-------[1] 他媽媽姓「Hu」，剛好跟"Who"同音。 maiden name ：大部分老美婚後改跟丈夫姓(所以夫妻倆同姓)；女性結婚前的姓就叫maiden name[2] 黃西這兒強調說「我是被邀請的」，mitbbs上有人指出這是指去年年底兩次白宮安全問題--11月份、12月份各有一對夫婦沒有邀請函但通過了層層安檢進到了白宮宴會併到奧巴馬身邊。[3] youtube留言：he said he grew up in china... it"s a joke about the over population of china and how? many people there are there。      還是youtube留言，但解釋不同：If you related to "I grew? up in US, who wasn"t?" You got to be smart to understand him。（Mitbbs上有人同意這一個，說這是諷刺美國redneck動不動就說I grew up in US。 ）[4] 黃西說他小學時（勞動課）在水稻田（rice paddy）幹活，旁邊就有一個採石場，用炸藥炸石頭。因為經常看到爆炸光亮聽到爆炸聲（還可能有碎石飛過來），後面黃西接著說「我學到了光傳播的速度比聲音快，而聲音傳播的速度大概跟飛濺的石頭差不多」。[5] youtube留言：tofu and centralize economic joke: you got? understand that China is a Communist country, there is only one party in power, everything is like his dad said "because I said so"還是youtube留言，稍微有點不同：it"s sort of non-sense talk said by his dad, then his dad went "because I? said so".... his farther == the centralized social system. the nonsense == whatever enforced by the centralized social system.[6] youtube留言：it is "debt collector"..Because of the huge current account deficit? US owes to China.還是youtube留言，稍微有點不同：China is the country that holds the most US treasure bonds now.[7] youtube留言：Benjamin Franklin - 100 dollar bills.   Convenience stores have 100 dollars bills. （100美元幣上是美國總統本傑明-弗蘭克林的頭像；便利店/社區小超市當然有100刀幣；所以被搶劫了）[8] youtube留言：Second Amendment: is the freedom to carry gun. - It gives the robbers guns to rob convenience stores.? （因為民眾能自由持槍，所以小店被搶劫了）黃西這個笑話之前在別的地方也講過。我google的一個中文網站的解釋：什麼是美國憲法第二修正案（允許公民擁有槍支）？黃西接著說：這是不是我們雜貨店被搶的原因？[9] youtube留言：Roe vs Wade, famous? court case on abortion. Joe thought two ways of coming to US, on boat or swim我找的別的地方的：In 1973, the US Supreme Court had prohibited states from making laws that interfered with a woman"s right to an abortion during the early months of pregnancy. Joe 把 roe vs. wade 轉換成 row (rowing the boat) & wade (swimming ) to USA. (划船和游泳偷渡到美國)[10] youtube留言：He studies America history. It talks a lot of white Americans kill Indians, slavery, kills, etc. Basically, white American were guilty of many things, i.e. white guilt. He starts to harbor (to feel inside)? white guilt (as if he were white).[11] youtube留言：Obama does exercise, but Joe himself doesn"t need to because he has health insurance. MA has universal health care which is viewed as the result of Democratic dominance in MA. But they recently voted a Republic senator Scott Brown, mixed message. （MA就是Massachusetts，常說的麻省）[12] youtube留言：Scott Brown is a? Republican and their motto on health care reform seemed to be "Kill (the health care reform) Bill"[13] 新浪北美網上報道說，這個年會歷來是「上至總統下到各大媒體負責人都會出席」。本來奧巴馬已應邀出席，但因為health insurance reform bill最後投票是3月21日，他「親自四處催票拉票，頻上媒體呼籲支持。臨時排定當晚6點上保守傾向的Fox電視台的訪談，所以無法出席」；白宮於是請副總統Biden代為出席。「黃西說，當然有點失望，不過沒問題，聽說『副總統人也挺幽默的』 」。（我想這樣他一定臨時修改了講稿，而他開的副總統的那個玩笑效果很好，考慮到他有限的修改時間，可見他的功底！）[14] 黃西說「Stephen Colbert，把這個表演出來」。Stephen Colbert 是一個美國喜劇演員，因他的諷刺和撲克臉式的喜劇表演風格在美國廣為人知。2006年4月29日，科拜爾受邀在白宮新聞記者協會晚餐會上進行表演。科拜爾用他一貫的風格當面挖苦了當時的美國總統小布希。（「歷史」的相似性）[15] pun: a humorous use of a word or phrase which has several meanings or which sounds like another word （以轉意或諧音的方法達到詼諧的效果）[16] youtube留言："Nay-SAYER". Horses go 「Nay" . It was a joke on a bad pun.neigh: a long, loud, high call that is produced by a horse when it is excited or frightened. （馬嘶叫聲）[17] C-SPAN, C-SPAN2, C-SPAN3 是美國的有線電視頻道（一家三個）新聞頻道，創辦於1979年，節目內容主要探討政府及公共事務議題，也有轉播國情咨文、共和黨全民大會、民主黨全民大會。所以黃西說用它來催眠。[18] youtube留言：Because the World? Series is not for the world...only 2 countries play in the World Series. America and Canada. （World Series 指棒球比賽，說是國際/World，其實就美國和加拿大兩國的球隊。大部分時候都是美國贏）[19] youtube留言：actually it means pee in snow will melt it, as pee is warmer. but since? it is a dark winter night, so it is hard to tell[20] "I spent ten years in the past decade" -- ten years 是十年，decade也表示十年。[21]我的理解 「Who cares」 有兩層意思：1。"Who"指黃西自己（表演開始的時候黃西說大部分老美不知道他，指代他為"Who"），這個競選口號是「我關心你們」；2。「Who cares」直接的意思是「誰在乎呢？！」 因這雙重意思而逗笑。[22] 「Olsen twins」 好萊塢最紅雙胞胎姐妹花奧爾森姐妹。看你認不認得出這張她們小時候的圖片及她們演的那部電視劇（我很喜歡那部電視劇）【相關信息：美國深夜節目收視率冠軍的「大衛賴特曼秀」，上月（Apr. 2009）17日晚上破天荒邀請中國口音極重的黃西（Joe Wong）亮相，以英語講美式笑話，近六分鐘的演出，觀眾反應熱烈。...
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