What to Do When You』re Stuck Between Your Boss and Your Boss』s Boss

05-23

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What to Do When You』re Stuck Between Your Boss and Your Boss』s

Boss

By: HBR

It』s smart to have strong relationships with both your boss and

your boss』s boss, but when there』s conflict between the two of them, you』re

often in a tough spot. What』s the best way to navigate this situation? Should

you align yourself with the person who has the most influence over your job and

career? How can you be as transparent as possible without risking your

relationships?

What the Experts Say

It』s no fun being caught between your boss and your

boss』s boss. 「It』s like when you were a kid and your parents would fight,」 says

Priscilla Claman, the president of Career Strategies, a Boston-based consulting

firm and a contributor to the HBR

Guide to Getting the Right Job. 「You feel stuck in the middle.」 Not

only is the situation 「awkward and uncomfortable,」 but it can also be 「very time

intensive,」 says Nancy Rothbard, the David Pottruck Professor of Management at

the University of Pennsylvania』s Wharton School. 「You』re managing different

people and you』re trying to do it without making them angry.」 Here are three

common scenarios you might find yourself in and ideas on how to respond to these

workplace tugs-of-war.

Scenario #1: Your boss』s boss asks you to do things without

clearing it with your manager

「If your boss』s boss wants you to take on a project, he should

talk to your boss, and then your boss should talk to you,」 Claman says. 「Those

are the norms, but it doesn』t always happen that way.」 When you』re put in this

position, Rothbard advises, speak up. Be honest and straightforward: 「This puts

me in an awkward position vis-à-vis my boss. What do you recommend I do?」

Depending on your

relationship with your boss』s boss, you might also ask them to 「run

interference」 so that you』d be freer to take on the assignment. Maybe they can

pull rank and 「find someone else to help, or swap in another person」 to even out

the workload.

Scenario #2: One boss shares information with you that the

other isn』t privy to

「If your boss tells you something personal — say,

she』s pregnant and not yet ready to disclose, or maybe she』s resigning in a

month — it』s best to keep that information confidential,」 Claman says. But 「if

your boss』s boss tells you something that your boss needs to know」 or vice

versa, such as information that pertains to the business, 「that』s a more

difficult one」 to navigate. 「If you tell your boss or boss』s boss, it will be

obvious that the information came from you.」 In cases like these, when you feel

that the news you』re being told should be more public, focus on listening and

asking questions rather than giving a decisive opinion,」 Rothbard says. Help

your bosses think through their decision-making processes by asking them: Do you

think others ought to know this information? Are there risks in not telling

them?

Scenario #3: Your boss and your boss』s boss are in a

stalemate

If you』re close with both parties, and have 「intimate

knowledge of both their interests,」 you are 「uniquely positioned to bring them

together,」 Rothbard says. Claman recommends scheduling a meeting with the two of

them and other colleagues to try to come to a consensus. She suggests saying

something like: 「I don』t think we are in agreement here. Can we have a meeting

with the three of us — and maybe bring in Lucy and Eduardo to figure out our

priorities?」 She adds, 「Inviting others broadens the issue and dilutes [whatever

animosity] may be present in their relationship.」

But no matter what scenario you find yourself in…

Try not to take sides

When you』re dealing with two distinct personalities,

it』s natural to 「have a preference」 for one over the other, Claman says. Maybe

you have a longer professional history with your boss, or perhaps you』re simply

more compatible with your boss』s boss. But aligning yourself too closely with

either of them is potentially dangerous. 「You have to be very careful about

taking sides,」 she says. Rothbard agrees: 「Try to be neutral.」 And when there』s

obvious discord between the two of them, 「don』t say too much.」 Remember that

getting too involved in their power

dynamics could be damaging to your career. Instead, think of yourself

「as separate from the people but engaged in the work.」

If you must pick, think carefully

If you』re forced to take sides, in most scenarios, you

should prioritize 「your

relationship with your boss,」 Rothbard says. After all, this

relationship 「matters materially to your day-to-day life: your raises, your

promotions, and your assignments.」 Claman concurs: 「You never want to throw your

boss under the bus.」 Should you decide to align yourself with your boss』s boss,

take precautions. Make sure 「your boss』s boss has another place to put

you,」 Rothbard says. 「You have to have options.」

Know your limits

Being caught in the middle of office drama is both

tedious and stressful. So, in the interest of your sanity, do your best to keep

some distance. 「Don』t make yourself too vulnerable to anybody at work,」 Rothbard

says. And don』t allow yourself to get consumed by office

politics. Remember, Claman adds, 「these are working relationships; these

people are not your family or close friends. You need to preserve your personal

life.」

Principles to Remember

Do:

Ask questions. This is especially important if either manager wants you to
keep a work-related secret that the other manager should know about.

Bring your boss and your boss』s boss together. Schedule a meeting with them
and other colleagues to come to a consensus.

Keep some distance from workplace drama. Don』t align yourself too closely
with your boss or your boss』s boss.

Don』t:

Shy away from taking action. If either boss puts you in a compromising
situation, speak up.

Alienate your boss. Your relationship with your manager should be your top
priority.

Lose sight of the fact that these people are colleagues. Be engaged in your
work, but not overly engaged in your workmate』s scorekeeping.

Case Study #1: Consider the broader consequences of keeping a

boss』s secret

Early in his career, Josh worked at a boutique New York City–based

public relations agency. Josh knew one of the company』s founders, Dave, from a

previous job. He did not have as long a history with his direct boss, Bill, who

reported to Dave. (The names in this story have been changed.)

「The agency was not that formal or hierarchical, so Dave, Bill,

and I were pretty close as colleagues go,」 he says.

One day, Josh attended a prospective client meeting with Dave.

During the meeting, Josh realized that Dave was quoting prices that were well

under the rates given to other clients. Josh』s alarm bells went off.

「I thought this might be a problem, so after the meeting I talked

to Dave about my concerns,」 he says. 「I asked probing questions because I wanted

him to understand the bigger picture and where I was coming from.」

Josh learned that no other managers — including Bill — knew about

the difference in pricing offers. 「Dave』s perspective was that we were a private

company and it was well within his rights to do this,」 he recalls. 「But at the

same time, Dave implied that he didn』t want me to tell my manager.」

Josh felt conflicted. He didn』t want to lose Dave』s trust, but he

was concerned for the health of the business. 「I decided that I needed to be

transparent and open,」 Josh says. 「I went to Bill and told him the situation. I

said that I was looking out for the long-term success of the organization and

that I thought it was important for the three of us to talk.」

Not long after, Josh, Bill, and Dave had a conversation about best

practices for charging clients. After much discussion, they came to a

consensus.

「Both Bill and Dave later told me that they appreciated the way I

handled the situation. They saw that I wasn』t playing politics. I think both

realized that I was an honest broker.」

Case Study #2: Avoid picking sides if you can help it

Alison is a professor of finance at a small college,

but earlier in her career, when she was a management consultant, she had an

experience of being caught between her boss and her boss』s boss. (The names have

been changed here, too.)

At the time, Alison had been with the firm 12 years and knew most

of senior management, including her boss』s boss, Harry, who ran the U.S.

practice for the company. 「Harry had originally been my boss when I first joined

the firm as an analyst. We had both risen through the ranks: him to partner and

me to middle management,」 Alison says. 「But during the intervening years, I was

promoted to the London office and then promoted back to the New York

office.」

When Alison returned to the U.S., she had a new boss, Charlie, who

reported directly to Harry. 「Charlie was new to the company,」 she says. 「He

didn』t have established relationships, and he and I certainly didn』t have the

rapport that I had developed with Harry over a dozen years.」

Because of her relationship with Harry, Alison often became privy

to inside knowledge that Charlie hadn』t yet learned. Once, for instance, Harry

shared some highly confidential information about individual team performance

without making it available to any other senior managers. 「It was awkward and

uncomfortable knowing this information,」 Alison says.

But she didn』t want to betray Harry』s trust, so she kept the

information secret. 「I had planned to feign ignorance, if necessary, to avoid

being placed in the middle,」 Alison says. 「My goal was to avoid the topic. I

assumed the situation would work itself out if I could manage to avoid being

sucked into the fray. And it did.」

Alison says that the key for managing the relationship was 「to

stay honest and respectful of Charlie」 while maintaining her deep connection to

Harry. 「From my point of view, I wasn』t sure whether Charlie would be successful

at the firm,」 she says. 「But I knew Harry was in it for the long haul. Plus, I

had loyalty to Harry, who had looked after me over so many years. I knew if

there was a side to take, I would have sided with him.」

以上內容摘自：

https://hbr.org/2018/05/what-to-do-when-youre-stuck-between-your-boss-and-your-bosss-boss