雅思寫作 - 兩種段落展開的方式 (上)

來自專欄 馬哥雅思作文批改日記

其實這是常識, 但確實有很多同學不知道, 或者知之不詳. 因此我把它寫出來, 希望能對在這方面有困擾的同學, 有所幫助.

一種是一段闡述多個觀點.

Watching TV too much leads to a number of problems. Firstly, it is bad for childrens health. For example, they tend to have poor eyesight and a weak body. Secondly, if children spend too much time watching TV, they would have less opportunities to interact with their peers. This can have another negative effect on children who may become less active mainly because TV is considered as an inactive activity by many researchers.

三個特點

1. 一段話由一個簡單的主題句來引領. 點出你下面想說的是什麼 [好處/壞處/原因/解決方式]. 此段話中的主題句是 Watching TV too much leads to a number of problems
2. (大多數情況下) 不需要單獨的觀點句.
3. 觀點的寫法有兩種, 一個是先出觀點, 一個是(末)尾出觀點 (下面詳細介紹)

At the first glance, telecommuting is very attractive for employees. They are relieved of exhausting travel to workplace at rush hours, and are allowed to arrange their time at convenience, [觀點一]thereby making work life balance achievable. Another benefit is that [觀點二] home workers are not restricted to living in a particular city, where the environment may be heavily polluted or the housing prices abnormally high. [觀點三] On top of the increasing and flexibility, both employees and employers benefit from teleworking in financial terms. [觀點三] Travel fare, fuel, parking, formal clothes are excluded and less expense occurs in office, such as rent, bills, incidental cost and so on.

這是一篇考官範文, 寫的是遠程工作的好處, 第一個觀點是尾出觀點, 而第二第三觀點是先出.

在此我的建議是同學盡量先出觀點. 因為在教學實踐中我發現, 使用尾出觀點的話, 很多同學會有兩個問題

1. 邏輯問題. 如果是不先出觀點, 很多同學把握不好邏輯走向, 他們太喜歡往裡面塞成分, 似乎要把自己會的搭配和語法點都用上. 結果本來 1 + 1 順利成章到等於2, 他們偏偏做成 1 + 1 + 1 最後強行等於2.
2. 觀點或段落篇幅不平衡的問題, 常常出現一個分論點佔了5分之四的篇幅, 而另一個觀點可憐的只有一句話.

這一篇就這些, 總結一下

1. 一段闡述多個觀點的話, 以主題句開頭, 大多數時候不需要單獨的觀點句.
2. 觀點的寫法有兩種: 先出觀點, 尾出觀點. 我推薦先出觀點.

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