[美劇] 不懂約會/Undateable 全集第1季第1集劇本完整版

05-20

劇本台詞字幕筆記中英文對照純英文學英語文本 PDF 文檔電子版紙質版

該劇根據暢銷書《Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won』t Be Dating Or Having Sex》改編，故事主要描述兩個好友的兄弟情。

　　Danny Beeman（Chris D』Elia，《善變女人心》）是個自信的懶鬼。當他讓Justin（Brent Morin）成為自己的室友後，也自然而然地「繼承」了他那[展開全文]

　　該劇根據暢銷書《Undateable: 311 Things Guys Do That Guarantee They Won』t Be Dating Or Having Sex》改編，故事主要描述兩個好友的兄弟情。

　　Danny Beeman（Chris D』Elia，《善變女人心》）是個自信的懶鬼。當他讓Justin（Brent Morin）成為自己的室友後，也自然而然地「繼承」了他那群朋友。Danny並不情願交這群朋友，因為……他們全都找不到對象！Danny將自己看做一個「終極大玩家」，在和女人打交道時頗有一套手段。Justin和他的朋友沒有能力吸引女人？至今單身（Danny給他們起了個專有名詞：「不可約會者」）？不要緊，Danny自告奮勇地當起了老師——他要教他們在最短的時間內學會「愛情遊戲」的一切規則！

　　第一課開始，Danny首先帶大家去參加姐姐Leslie（Bianca Kajlich，《約會規則》）主持的一個活動。Leslie是個單身母親，在約會方面也有自己的「困難」。Danny的建議看起來很奏效：一個害羞的小夥子主動與一個女孩搭訕，一個粗心的傢伙學會了如何對女孩察言觀色，而他膽小怕事的室友Justin甚至主動陪一個神秘的女人回家去了！

　　第二天他們才發現……那個神秘的女人竟然是Leslie！

　　這下子麻煩了來了……

【劇本】：

Whats the giant emergency? Shannons moving out.

=>什麼是巨大的緊急情況？香農搬出去了

Dont do this, Shannon.

=> 香農，別這樣做。

What we have is real.

=> 我們擁有的是真實的。

Dont do this to us.

=> 不要這樣對我們。

Im getting married.

=> 我要結婚了。

Yeah, but what about our motorcycle club Dos Lobos? See you around, Danny.

=> 是的，但是我們的摩托車俱樂部Dos Lobos呢？再見，丹尼。

All right, but I swear If you walk out that door, I will not take you ba Okay, but if you start that car, then I will not take you ba Okay, but if you do a cute honk and then reverse out of the driveway, I will Ah! Cant you just get one of your other adorable man-child friends to move in? But all my friends are buried Married.

=> 好吧，但是我發誓如果你走出那扇門，我不會把你帶走，但是如果你開始那輛車，那我就不會把你帶走了，但是如果你做了一個可愛的鳴喇叭，車道，我會啊！你難道不能把你的其他可愛的小孩朋友搬進來嗎？但是我所有的朋友都被埋葬了。

I-I-I said "buried.

=> 我 - 我 - 我說：「埋葬。

" I meant "married.

=>「我的意思是」結婚。

" Oh, you met someone.

=>「哦，你遇到了一個人。

She seems smart.

=> 她看起來很聰明。

Is she a doctor? She made me feel better.

=> 她是醫生嗎？她讓我感覺更好。

Danny, I dont want to sound like mom, but you got to find a purpose something greater than just satisfying your own shallow desires.

=> 丹尼，我不想聽起來像媽媽，但你必須找到一個更大的目的，而不僅僅是滿足你自己的淺薄的慾望。

Oh, youre serious? This was acceptable in your 20s, but you are pushing 30, and its getting creepy.

=> 哦，你是認真的？這在20多歲的時候是可以接受的，但是你卻在30歲以上，而且越來越令人毛骨悚然。

And creepy sticks.

=> 和令人毛骨悚然的棍棒。

Its like herpes.

=> 就像皰疹。

Its for life.

=> 這是為了生活。

All right, look, no one wants to be the 40-year-old guy who goes to the bar alone, and you dont have to be that, Danny.

=> 好吧，看，沒有人想成為那個獨自一人前往酒吧的四十歲的傢伙，你不必是那個，丹尼。

You have so much potential.

=> 你有這麼多的潛力。

Youre absolutely sure that herpes is for life? Im out of here like a herd of turtles.

=> 你絕對相信皰疹是生命的嗎？我離開這裡像一群烏龜。

Les, I know that youre just trying to help, but, like, Im happy.

=> Les，我知道你只是想幫忙，但是，我很高興。

I mean, you see this? This is on my face, like, all day.

=> 我的意思是，你看到這個？整天都在我的臉上。

Ill try to get rid of it for a second.

=> 我會盡量擺脫它一秒鐘。

Watch.

=> 看。

Yeah, cant do it, man.

=> 是的，不行，男人。

Well, good luck with the roommate hunt.

=> 那麼，與室友打獵好運。

Shannon gave me hookups to a guy who needs a room.

=> 香農給了我一個需要一個房間的人的連接。

Hes, uh hes a cool dude.

=> 他是，呃他是一個很酷的傢伙。

He owns a bar.

=> 他擁有一個酒吧。

Hey, are you gonna see her again? No.

=> 嘿，你會再見到她嗎？沒有。

All right, Im keeping it.

=> 好的，我保留。

Thats all they really wa-a-a-a-nt Some fu-u-u-u-u-n.

=> 這就是他們真正想要的一些東西。

Dont ya love me, baby well, oh girls they want to have fu-u-n Ohh, girls What the hell? You must be Danny.

=> 不要你愛我，寶貝，哦，女孩，他們想要fu-u-n哦，女孩到底是什麼？你一定是丹尼

Killer pipes, man.

=> 殺手管道，男人。

Yeah, I went to choral camp every summer as a kid, and I was the first male Annie.

=> 是啊，我小時候每個夏天都去合唱團，我是第一個男的安妮。

No big deal.

=> 沒什麼大不了。

I just cruised down on my bike.

=> 我剛騎上自行車。

You ride? Did you see my bike out front? Oh, no way.

=> 你騎？你在前面看到我的自行車嗎？哦，沒辦法。

Thats your bike out there? Wow, that bikes a major panty-dropper.

=> 那是你的自行車嗎？哇，那輛自行車是主要的內褲。

I cant wait to get on the road with you.

=> 我等不及要和你一起上路。

Dos Lobos.

=> Dos羅伯斯。

V??monos.

=> V??monos。

Burrito.

=> 卷餅。

I dont know Spanish.

=> 我不懂西班牙語。

You know what? Thats a little awkward.

=> 你知道嗎？這有點尷尬。

Um, I wasnt planning on seeing your penis on the first day.

=> 呃，我沒打算第一天看到你的陰莖。

What do you think? - I dont know why I said that.

=> 你怎麼看？ - 我不知道我為什麼這麼說。

- No, its cool.

=> - 不，很酷。

I get caught up in the moment.

=> 我陷入了困境。

All right, now.

=> 現在好了。

Here we go.

=> 開始了。

Come on.

=> 來吧。

Okay.

=> 好的。

We are going.

=> 我們要去了。

The end.

=> 結束。

No, no, this is the beginning, dude.

=> 不，不，這是一個開始，夥計。

Whoops.

=> 哎呦。

Hey, so whats this bar called, anyway? Black Eyes.

=> 嘿，那麼這個酒吧叫什麼呢？黑眼睛。

Black Guys? No, Black Eyes.

=> 黑人？不，黑眼圈。

Like, if you get in a fight, there might be a few black eyes.

=> 就像，如果你打架，可能會有一些黑色的眼睛。

Uh, well, if you get into a fight, you better hope that there arent a few black guys.

=> 呃，如果你打架的話，你最好還是希望沒有幾個黑人。

Justin, come here.

=> 賈斯汀，來這裡

Hey.

=> 嘿。

Is the guy you named the bar after? Bro, shell cant even get his name out around girls now.

=> 你以後是不是把這個酒吧叫做酒吧？兄弟，貝殼現在連女孩子都沒有。

Mm.

=> 毫米。

A girl in my piano class asked me my name, and all I could get out was, "shh.

=> 我的鋼琴班的一個女孩問我的名字，我只能說，「噓。

" Its a bummer cause Im actually pretty smooth when it comes to male strangers.

=>「這是一個無賴，因為對於男性陌生人我其實很順利。

Go on, stud muffin.

=> 去，鬆餅鬆餅。

Try me.

=> 試試看

Im happy to help.

=> 我很樂意提供幫助。

Whats your name, man? Shelly.

=> 你叫什麼名字？雪莉。

See? Easy-peasy.

=> 看到？十分簡單。

Youre so lucky youre gay.

=> 你是如此幸運，你是同性戀。

Whenever you want to hook up with a dude, you just go up, and you pull on his noodle like a doorbell chain.

=> 每當你想和一個夥計掛鉤的時候，你就往上走，然後像門鈴鏈一樣拉上麵條。

Brett just came out a few weeks ago, and I am just so proud of you, sweetie, but if you dont get off your butt and start working right now, Im gonna kick it.

=> Brett剛剛在幾個星期前剛剛出來，我為你感到驕傲，親愛的，但是如果你沒有脫下你的屁股，現在開始工作，我會踢它。

Okay.

=> 好的。

So, uh, do you mind if I get a drink, too? Dont bother.

=> 那麼，你也介意我喝一杯嗎？不要打擾。

I know lots of guys like you.

=> 我認識很多像你一樣的人。

Are they all thirsty? No, theyre like the cocky player type.

=> 他們都渴了嗎？不，他們就像自大的球員類型。

I always end up with those guys.

=> 我總是和那些傢伙結束

I mean, I wish I could fall for a classy guy.

=> 我的意思是，我希望我可以墮落成一個優雅的人。

Like what? Like a British dude? Like a guy like this? Like a dude that just comes up to you and makes you feel good in your pants region? Is that what it is? Maybe you and me can go to the library and check out a bunch of books.

=> 像什麼？像英國的傢伙？像這樣的人？就像一個剛到你身邊的夥計，讓你在你的褲子區域感覺很好？那是什麼？也許你和我可以去圖書館看看一堆書。

Oh, fellas, it is on.

=> 哦，夥計，它正在上。

Yeah, I can see her uterus glowing like E.

=> 是的，我可以看到她的子宮發光像E.

=>T.

s finger.

=>手指。

Zuhhhhhhhhhhh.

=> Zuhhhhhhhhhhh。

All right, stop it.

=> 好，停下來

Okay? Youre adults.

=> 好的？你是成年人

So, what, he just does a bad British accent, and she likes that? Whatever.

=> 那麼，他只是做了一個糟糕的英國口音，而且她喜歡那個？隨你。

I dont care.

=> 我不在乎。

Is she kissing his neck? Seems like you do care.

=> 她親吻他的脖子嗎？看起來像你一樣在乎。

Welcome to the Dan cave.

=> 歡迎來到丹洞。

Keys are right there.

=> 鑰匙就在那裡。

Thanks.

=> 謝謝。

Hey, so I saw you talking to Nicki at the bar.

=> 嘿，所以我看到你在酒吧跟Nicki說話。

You should know that that me and her are kind of like Soft-shoe tap partners? Were not, like, together.

=> 你應該知道，我和她有點像軟鞋水龍頭的合作夥伴？我們不是，就像在一起。

You know, Im still kind of waiting to make my move.

=> 你知道，我仍然在等待我的舉動。

How long you been waiting? Only since I hired her.

=> 你等多久了？直到我僱用了她。

So, whats today Friday? So, like, 80 weeks.

=> 那麼，今天星期五呢？所以，就像80周。

It just needs to be the right moment.

=> 它只是需要正確的時刻。

- Which is what? - I dont know.

=> - 這是什麼？ - 我不知道。

Its not like Im up thinking about it all the time, you know? But itd have to be earlier in the week.

=> 我不是一直在想這件事，你知道嗎？但是這一周就要早點了。

But not too early so I seem desperate like a Tuesday In the fall Cause thats when my wardrobes are the strongest.

=> 但不是太早，所以我似乎絕望像一個星期二在秋天因為這是當我的衣櫃是最強的。

But early fall so I still kind of have a tan.

=> 但是早秋，所以我仍然有一個棕褐色。

At dusk magic hour.

=> 在黃昏魔術小時。

Im behind the bar washing a glass.

=> 我在酒吧後面洗一杯。

" Shes like, "do you need help?" Im like, "yeah, thats your job.

=>「她就像」你需要幫助嗎？「我喜歡，」是的，那是你的工作。

" Then she walks over.

=>「然後她走??過去。

"Take on me" starts playing.

=> 「接我」開始播放。

I sing along casually, but hitting the high notes cause I can.

=> 我隨便唱歌，但是因為我能唱到高音。

Then I go in for the kiss, and right then, I pull away, get myself a beer, walk out the door, letting her know that she cant have a guy like me.

=> 然後，我去接吻，然後，我走開，給自己一杯啤酒，走出門，讓她知道她不能有像我這樣的人。

When do you have sex in this fantasy? Im sorry, Fonzie.

=> 你什麼時候在這個幻想中做愛？對不起，Fonzie。

We dont all have your confidence with women.

=> 我們並不都對女性有信心。

Excuse me.

=> 打擾一下。

You think I just came out of my moms womb just crushing ass? Ive had many teachers All helping mold the sexual juggernaut that you see standing right here before you.

=> 你以為我剛從媽媽的子宮裡出來，只是狠狠的砸了屁股？我有很多老師都幫助塑造你在這之前站在你面前的性玩具。

Are you aware of how douchey you sound? Negative thoughts just bounce right off me, bro.

=> 你知道你聽起來多麼有禮貌嗎？消極的想法剛剛從我身上反彈，兄弟。

Who were your teachers? No one.

=> 你的老師是誰？沒有人。

No one? Oh, my God.

=> 沒有人？哦，我的上帝。

Justin, you need me.

=> 賈斯汀，你需要我。

Words cannot express how strongly I disagree with that statement.

=> 言語不能表達我有多強烈地不同意這種說法。

Look, I get it, you know.

=> 看，我明白了，你知道的。

Youre scared, and change is hard, baby bird, but Im gonna help you mend those broken wings.

=> 你很害怕，變化很難，小鳥，但我會幫你修補那些破碎的翅膀。

Im gonna be the father bird and just feed you knowledge.

=> 我會成為父親的鳥，只是喂你的知識。

Aah! Consider this your acceptance speech to Danny Burton University.

=> 啊哈！考慮一下你對丹尼伯頓大學的接受言論。

DBU! Youre insane.

=> DBU！你瘋了

Those are negative thoughts, and Im just gonna ignore em and come in for the hug.

=> 這些都是消極的想法，我只是會忽略他們，進來的擁抱。

- Arms up.

=> - 胳膊。

- I dont want a hug.

=> - 我不想擁抱。

No hug.

=> 沒有擁抱。

Come on.

=> 來吧。

I do not need a mentor.

=> 我不需要一個導師。

I know, you wouldnt think so, right? Youre young.

=> 我知道，你不會這麼想的，對嗎？你年輕。

You own a bar.

=> 你擁有一個酒吧。

You sing like an angel.

=> 你像天使一樣唱歌

Youre adorable.

=> 你很迷人。

Right? Yeah, your face is a six, but your bodys a seven.

=> 對？是的，你的臉是六塊，但你的身體是七塊。

Look, you got the juice, buddy.

=> 看，你有果汁，夥計。

You just dont know how to use the juice.

=> 你只是不知道如何使用果汁。

I know how to use the juice.

=> 我知道如何使用果汁。

Then use the juice.

=> 然後使用果汁。

Use the juice, and Ill lay off you, okay? I swear on our Lobo code.

=> 使用果汁，我會解僱你，好嗎？我發誓我們的Lobo代碼。

Fine.

=> 精細。

Better get your raincoat, muchacho.

=> 最好讓你的雨衣，muchacho。

Its about to get super juicy up in here.

=> 即將在這裡得到超級多汁。

Oh! God.

=> 哦!神。

Sweetie, be careful.

=> 親愛的，小心點

I almost bitch-slapped you.

=> 我差點婊子把你打了

No need for bitch-slapping.

=> 沒有必要婊子拍掌。

Im totally safe.

=> 我完全安全。

I mean, not totally safe.

=> 我的意思是，不完全安全。

Thatd be boring, right? But not too dangerous, either, you know? Im kind of like the baby bears porridge, girl Just right.

=> 那會很無聊，對吧？但是也不太危險，你知道嗎？我有點像熊寶寶的粥，女孩恰到好處。

Wait.

=> 等待。

I dont get it.

=> 我不明白。

"Goldilocks and the three bears.

=> 「金髮姑娘和三隻熊。

" Didnt your dad ever read to you? Um, I never met my dad.

=>「你父親有沒有讀過你？呃，我從來沒有見過我的父親。

Would you like to? I dont know why I said that.

=> 你是否想要？我不知道我為什麼這麼說。

Cant make that happen.

=> 不能做到這一點。

That dream is gone.

=> 那個夢想消失了。

Um, but sorry.

=> 恩，但是對不起。

Im just letting you know that Im adventurous, you know? Like like a like a like a pirate, you know? Or a cat burglar like somebody whos gonna steal your clocks, not somebody whos gonna come into your room in the middle of the night and be like, "hey," and then just, "shhhh.

=> 我只是讓你知道我冒險，你知道嗎？就像一個像海盜一樣，你知道嗎？或者是一個像竊賊偷竊你的時鐘的盜賊，而不是半夜來到你房間的人，像「嗨」，然後就是「噓。

Shhhh.

=> 噓。

Shhhhh.

=> Shhhhh。

" Pillow, and then, "shhhhhh.

=>「枕頭，然後，」噓。

" I dont know why I killed you.

=>「我不知道我為什麼殺了你。

Hello.

=> 你好。

Would you like to go to the library with me? Okay, look! E-excuse us.

=> 你想和我一起去圖書館嗎？好的，看！電子原諒我們。

Did you guys just see that? You almost asked her out! That was crazy, bro! This is so much worse than I thought.

=> 你們剛才看到了嗎？你差點問她了！這太瘋狂了，兄弟！這比我想像的要糟得多。

Were gonna go out tonight.

=> 我們今晚要出去。

We are out.

=> 我們出去了

Were at a bar.

=> 我們在一家酒吧

No, no, no.

=> 不不不。

I mean out out.

=> 我的意思是說出來。

Out into the world.

=> 走向世界。

Out of your routine, all right? My sisters a wine rep, okay? And theres an event tonight.

=> 出於你的日常，好嗎？我姐姐是葡萄酒代表，好嗎？而今晚有一個事件。

Um, uh, Danny, sorry.

=> 恩，丹尼，對不起。

I cant go out tonight.

=> 我今晚不能出去。

Um, Im dressed like a chubby Marty McFly.

=> 呃，我穿得像個胖乎乎的馬蒂·麥克菲。

I mean, obviously, you dont care so much about your appearance.

=> 我的意思是，顯然，你不在乎你的外表。

That one actually hurt a little bit.

=> 那一個實際上傷害了一點點。

Danny, I dont think were up for going to some party with a bunch of strangers.

=> 丹尼，我不認為我們要和一群陌生人去參加聚會。

Is that true, guys? This wine is it free? Hey, you look great.

=> 這是真的，夥計們？這酒是免費的嗎？嘿，你看起來不錯。

I am gonna ignore how surprised you are and say thank you.

=> 我會忽略你有多驚訝，並說謝謝。

Im thinking its time to get back in the game.

=> 我想是時候回到遊戲中來了。

Good for you.

=> 對你有好處。

Anybody catch your eye yet? Yeah.

=> 有人抓住你的眼睛嗎？是啊。

Right over there.

=> 就在那兒。

Dont look.

=> 別看。

Oh, sorry.

=> 哦對不起。

Oh, yeah.

=> 哦耶。

Asian Zac Efron, huh? Oh, yeah.

=> 亞洲人Zac Efron，是吧？哦耶。

You know whos, like, really good-looking is that guy who looks like a more soulful Keanu Reeves.

=> 你知道誰是真正好看的人，看起來像一個更深情的基努里維斯。

Oh, wait, no.

=> 哦，等等，不。

Im looking in a mirror.

=> 我正在照鏡子。

Youre me? Oh, Im you.

=> 你是我嗎？哦，我是你。

Whoa! Youre so stupid.

=> 哇！你太蠢了。

You guys got to be kidding me.

=> 你們開玩笑吧

We came out so you guys could talk to live, actual human beings, okay? Its all about confidence.

=> 我們出來了，所以你們可以和現實的人類交談，好嗎？這完全是關於自信。

Im going in.

=> 我要進去

Win the friend over first.

=> 首先贏得朋友。

Thats the key.

=> 這是關鍵。

Excuse me? I was just over there, and I noticed that you were absolutely glowing.

=> 打擾一下？我剛剛在那裡，我注意到你是絕對發光的。

I was wondering when your baby might be due.

=> 我想知道你的寶寶何時到期。

Im not pregnant.

=> 我沒有懷孕

You look like youre pregnant.

=> 你看起來像是懷孕了

I dont care.

=> 我不在乎。

I was actually just interested in your friend, anyway.

=> 無論如何，我其實只是對你的朋友感興趣。

Hey.

=> 嘿。

Great party, huh? Im into the ladies.

=> 很棒的派對，對吧？我進入女士們。

You know, the breasts and the butts and Fallopian tubes.

=> 你知道，乳房和臀部和輸卵管。

Okay, Brett, so I think I see one problem with the way youre trying to meet guys.

=> 好的，布雷特，所以我覺得我看到一個問題，你試圖與人見面的方式。

Brett, I want you to go tell that hot piece of dude that youre not into girls.

=> 布雷特，我想讓你去告訴那個熱門的傢伙，你不是女孩。

Oh, bloody hell.

=> 哦，血腥的地獄。

And, Bursk, you come on way too strong, all right? Go apologize.

=> 而且布爾斯克，你來的太強大了，好嗎？去道歉。

And you need to get in there, too.

=> 你也需要進去

Its time to leave the nest, baby bird.

=> 是時候離開鳥巢了。

You are so annoying.

=> 你真煩人

All right, man.

=> 好的，夥計。

Get in there.

=> 進到那裡去。

Your turn.

=> 到你了。

No, thanks.

=> 不用了，謝謝。

Its not like theres anyone out here I could put on my "potential wife" list If I kept a list like that.

=> 如果我有這樣一個名單，這裡不是有人在這裡我可以把我的「潛在的妻子」名單上。

Shut up, Shelly.

=> 閉嘴，謝莉。

I didnt say anything.

=> 我沒有說什麼。

You did that look that you do.

=> 你看起來是你做的。

Yes, I did.

=> 是的，我做到了。

Come on, stay.

=> 來吧，留下來。

Ill make you breakfast.

=> 我會讓你吃早餐。

I should go.

=> 我應該走了。

Bye.

=> 再見。

Justin.

=> 賈斯汀。

Wait a minute are you just getting home now from last night? If I say yes, do you promise not to make a big deal out of it? Baby bird! Justin! Justin! Justin! Justin! Justin! Justin! Justin! Justin! You are super good at that.

=>等一下你剛從昨天晚上回家嗎？如果我說是的話，你保證不要做大事嗎？小鳥！賈斯汀！賈斯汀！賈斯汀！賈斯汀！賈斯汀！賈斯汀！賈斯汀！賈斯汀！你是超級擅長的。

Details, dude.

=> 細節，夥計。

We want the details.

=> 我們想要的細節。

How was it? Were there candles? Boys, I just made the magic happen like I do.

=> 它怎麼樣？那裡有蠟燭嗎？男孩們，我只是做了魔術就像我一樣。

Did you do your, uh, pillow thing? Well, kiddo, Im real proud of you.

=> 你有沒有做你的，枕頭的東西？那麼，小子，我真的為你感到驕傲。

Thanks, man.

=> 謝啦。

Then I was out like a herd of turtles.

=> 然後，我就像一群烏龜。

What did you just say? Oh, it was just something she said last night.

=> 你剛剛說什麼？哦，昨天晚上她剛才說的

No, no, no, no, no, no.

=> 不，不，不，不，不，不。

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

=> 不，不，不，不，不，不，不，不，不，不，不，不

Is this her? Why do you have a picture of Leslie in your phone? Thats my sister! This is very tense.

=> 這是她嗎？你為什麼在手機上有張萊斯利的照片？這是我的妹妹！這非常緊張。

Whats the emergency this time? You slept with my roommate! Justin Is your roommate? Oh, my God.

=> 這次是什麼緊急？你和我的室友睡了賈斯汀你的室友？哦，我的上帝。

Danny, I swear I had no idea.

=> 丹尼，我發誓我不知道。

Im so sorry.

=> 我很抱歉。

Its not your fault.

=> 這不是你的錯。

I mean, how could you have known? Listen, thanks for always being so honest with me.

=> 我的意思是，你怎麼知道？聽著，謝謝你總是對我如此誠實。

I knew he was your roommate.

=> 我知道他是你的室友。

Damn it, Leslie! What about the Asian Zac Efron? He went home with white Rihanna! And then I met Justin, and by the time I figured out who he was, we were already in our underwear, and Id optimistically worn my good bra.

=> 該死的，萊斯利！那麼亞洲的Zac Efron呢？他帶著白色的蕾哈娜回家了！然後我遇到了賈斯汀，當我想出他是誰的時候，我們已經穿在我們的內衣里了，我樂觀地穿上了我的好胸罩。

Aah! Aah! I dont want to hear it.

=> 啊哈！啊哈！我不想聽到它。

Well, somebody has to, Danny.

=> 那麼，有人必須，丹尼。

Its an $80 bra, and it hurts to wear it, okay? You ever try and squash your nuts together so a bunch of guys can stare at em? I brought that kid to your mixer so he could meet a desperate woman, not you.

=> 這是一個80美元的胸罩，穿它很痛，好嗎？你曾經嘗試過把你的堅果擠在一起，這樣一群人可以盯著他們嗎？我把那個小孩帶到你的調音台，這樣他就可以遇見一個絕望的女人，而不是你。

I am a desperate woman, you idiot.

=> 我是一個絕望的女人，你這個白痴。

I am 30-something-year-old divorced woman, so when a nice guy walks up to me with nice things to say, and I have my one good thong on, my thong and I are gonna listen.

=> 我是一個三十多歲的離婚女人，所以當一個好人走到我身邊說好話，而且我有一個好的皮帶，我的皮帶和我都會聽。

Im sorry, Les.

=> 對不起，Les。

You know, you deserve to have fun, too.

=> 你知道，你也應該有樂趣。

I just hope I taught him enough to please you.

=> 我只是希望我教他足夠讓你滿意。

- Oh, gross! - Too far.

=> - 哦，太糟糕了！ - 太遠。

Im sorry.

=> 對不起。

I got I dont know I dont know why I said that.

=> 我知道我不知道我為什麼這麼說。

I dont even know why I put myself back out there.

=> 我甚至不知道為什麼我把自己放回原處。

It was so humiliating.

=> 這是如此的恥辱。

Les, what happened? What did he do? He wouldnt even have sex with me.

=> Les，發生了什麼？他做了什麼？他甚至不會跟我做愛。

He said I seemed sad and buzzy, and he didnt want to take advantage of that, so we just laid there staring at the ceiling all night like two sad paralyzed people they just happened to put in the same hospital bed.

=> 他說我看起來很傷心和bu，，他不想利用這個機會，所以我們只是躺在那裡盯著天花板，好像兩個傷心癱瘓的人，他們碰巧放在同一張病床上。

I mean, is anyone ever gonna want me again, Danny? Hey, stop.

=> 我的意思是，有人會再次要我，丹尼？嘿，停下來

Come here.

=> 過來。

What kind of a man are you?! How dare you not bang my sister! Um, can we talk about this in private, please? Oh, this seems like itd be a lot more fun in public.

=> 你是什??么樣的人？你怎麼敢不讓我的妹妹轟炸！呃，我們可以私下談談這個嗎？哦，這似乎在公共場合會更有趣。

All she wanted was to be used for sex, but, oh, no, Justin couldnt do it.

=> 她想要的只是用來做愛，但是，不，Justin做不到。

Hes too nice to take advantage of a buzzy girl.

=> 他太高興了，不能利用一個蠢女孩。

Hes an angel.

=> 他是天使

Wait.

=> 等待。

So, nothing happened? No.

=> 那麼，什麼都沒發生？沒有。

And you want to know what else? If I had the chance, I would not have sex with her again.

=> 而且你想知道還有什麼？如果我有機會，我不會再和她做愛了。

You watch your mouth when you talk about my sister.

=> 當你談論我的妹妹時，你看著你的嘴。

I would take her to my bedroom and not make love to her all night long, and then the next morning, I would take her to brunch.

=> 我會把她帶到我的卧室，而不是整夜地和她做愛，然後第二天早上，我會帶她去吃早午餐。

Then I would meet her friends and listen to their boring stories, and when they were done, Id ask for more.

=> 然後，我會認識她的朋友，聽聽他們無聊的故事，等他們完成後，我會再問一些。

You know what? Were through.

=> 你知道嗎？我們經歷了。

Youre no longer a Lobo.

=> 你不再是路寶

Oh, my God.

=> 哦，我的上帝。

How am I gonna live? Im no longer a Lobo? Oh, man.

=> 我將如何生活？我不再是路寶？天啊。

My whole world is over.

=> 我的整個世界都結束了

Thank God, man! You dont even know what "lobo" means.

=> 感謝上帝，男人！你甚至不知道「lobo」是什麼意思。

Its its like "soldier" or something.

=> 這就像「士兵」什麼的。

No! Danny, I never asked for your help, okay? None of us did.

=> 沒有！丹尼，我從來沒有要求你的幫助，好嗎？我們都沒有。

Look at your own life.

=> 看看你自己的生活。

Just going from empty night to empty night, hoping to get some strange girl to just stay a little bit longer.

=> 只是從空曠的夜晚走向空曠的夜晚，希望能找到一些奇怪的女孩留下一點點時間。

And you think were losers? I have people in my life who care about me.

=> 你覺得我們是輸家？我有我人生中關心我的人。

Im not lonely, Danny.

=> 丹尼，我不寂寞。

Are you? You know what? Youre no longer welcome to DB University.

=> 你是？你知道嗎？你不再歡迎來到DB大學。

Yeah? Well, youre no longer welcome to black guys! Dannys gone, Dannys gone Whee! Dannys gone, Dannys gone Why do you guys look so bummed? Why are you spraying the peanuts? Look, guys, we should be celebrating.

=> 是嗎？那麼，你不再歡迎黑人！丹尼走了，丹尼走了。丹尼走了，丹尼走了你為什麼看起來這麼無聊？你為什麼要噴花生米？看，夥計們，我們應該慶祝。

Okay? We finally put that Danny Burton era behind us.

=> 好的？我們終於把丹尼伯頓時代放在了我們後面。

I kind of liked the Danny Burton era.

=> 我有點喜歡丹尼伯頓時代。

Last night, I talked to a girl for six minutes before she slapped me.

=> 昨天晚上，我和一個女孩說了六分鐘，然後打了我一巴掌。

What caused the slap? I said women shouldnt earn as much as men.

=> 是什麼導致了巴掌？我說女人不應該和男人一樣賺錢。

How does that even come up? She was driving a nice car.

=> 這怎麼會出現？她開著一輛好車。

I asked who bought it for her.

=> 我問誰是為她買的。

She said she did, and then she told me some other lies.

=> 她說她做了，然後她告訴了我一些其他的謊言。

I dont know, man.

=> 我不知道，男人。

You know, last night, I actually told a guy I was gay.

=> 你知道，昨天晚上，我實際上告訴一個我是同性戀的人。

And then when he asked for my phone number, I gave him a number that was very close to my own actual number.

=> 然後當他要求我的電話號碼時，我給了他一個非常接近我自己實際電話號碼的號碼。

That is progress, man.

=> 男人，這是進步。

Hey, dont forget you spent the night with a live, actual woman, you know? Plus, you got Nicki to like you for a second.

=> 嘿，別忘了你和一個真正的女人住了一夜，你知道嗎？另外，你讓Nicki喜歡你一秒鐘。

Thats obviously what youve been wanting.

=> 這顯然是你一直想要的。

Weve all been stuck in a rut lately.

=> 我們最近都陷入了一片r stuck。

Dannys helped us out of it.

=> 丹尼幫助我們擺脫了困境。

Were grateful to him.

=> 我們感謝他。

You should be, too.

=> 你也應該

Excuse me? Is this Black Guys? Common mistake.

=> 打擾一下？這是黑人嗎？常見的錯誤。

The bars actually called Yes.

=> 酒吧實際上被稱為是。

Im Shelly, the black guy.

=> 我是黑色的雪莉。

Hey, if you came to give the keys back, you can just leave them on the table right there.

=> 嘿，如果你把鑰匙還給你，你可以把它們留在桌子上。

What did you just come here to brag? I came here to apologize.

=>你剛剛來這裡吹什麼？我來這裡道歉。

Look, Danny, youve done more for me in two days than anyone has done for me in my entire life.

=> Danny，在兩天之內，你為我做了更多的事情，而不是我一生中為我所做的一切。

So Thanks.

=> 那謝謝啦。

Youre welcome.

=> 別客氣。

Thats, uh, all I wanted to say.

=> 那就是，呃，我只想說。

Youre right about me.

=> 你說的對我

Um, Im not that good at being alone.

=> 呃，我並不擅長獨處。

All my friends are buried and gone, and That means married.

=> 我所有的朋友都被埋葬了，這意味著已婚。

Its like a thing I do.

=> 這就像我做的事情。

Its its hilarious.

=> 這是很搞笑的

I dont know.

=> 我不知道。

I guess theyve just kind of all moved on with their lives, and Im just Im not really ready for it, you know? I wish I was.

=> 我猜他們的生活已經開始了，我只是沒有準備好，你知道嗎？我希望我是。

Look, come back to the bar, okay? Come back to Black Guys Eyes.

=> 看，回到酒吧，好嗎？回到黑人的眼睛。

Damn it.

=> 該死的。

Hey, you know, thats your crew.

=> 嘿，你知道，那是你的船員。

No, its our crew I mean, if you want to be a part of it.

=> 不，這是我們的船員，我的意思是，如果你想成為其中的一部分。

We could all be wolves.

=> 我們都可能是狼。

Thats what "lobos" means.

=> 這就是「lobos」的意思。

Are you trying not to cry? Uh, no.

=> 你想不哭？呃，不。

Uh, crying is for babies and people who read Nicholas Sparks novels like "The Notebook" or "At First S " "At First Sight.

=> 呃，哭泣是為了看「Nicholas Sparks」的小說，如「The Notebook」或「At First S」。

" You know what? Lets forget that happened, okay? - Lets just get out of here.

=>「你知道嗎？讓我們忘記發生了，好嗎？ - 讓我們離開這裡。

All right? - Okay.

=> 好吧？ - 好的。

Hey, by the way, your bar name really does suck.

=> 嘿，順便說一句，你的酒吧名字真的很爛。

Ping! Ping! Lets get out of here.

=> 平安！平安！我們離開這裡

Come on.

=> 來吧。

Ping!

=> 平安！