猩式車評：2018款雪鐵龍DS7 CROSSBACK

05-16

THE JEREMY CLARKSON REVIEW: 2018 DS 7 CROSSBACK

猩式車評：2018款雪鐵龍DS7 CROSSBACK

Oh deer — lucky it has roadkill warning

法國人的奇思妙想

I WAS going to write about the Volkswagen T-Roc, a small and rather funky-looking SUV that burst onto the market a couple of months ago. But then I saw, on the back page of The Times, an advertisement f0or the car in question.

這兩天我本來想寫大眾的最新推出的小型SUV T-Roc，一輛小巧時髦城市SUV。但是在紐約時報的後面，我看見了關於T-Roc的一則廣告。

「The new T-Roc,」 it said. 「With ￡500 towards your deposit with Solutions PCP*.」

上面是這麼寫的：「全新大眾T-Roc華麗登場，現在購買立即贈送價值500美元的駕駛輔助系統。」

The asterisk was plainly the point here. Obviously, that is where I』d find the snow plough and Paula Hamilton — the pithy stuff for which VW』s admen are famed. But no. It was just a load of accountancy-speak that is normally read out at high speed at the end of car ads on the radio.

那個星號顯眼地擺在句尾，一度讓我想起大眾的那些經典廣告——那些聰明的廣告人總是能把一輛車最精髓的部分通過短短几十秒展現給大家。但是這句話，這則廣告並不是這樣。它只是生硬地在我們高速閱讀的過程中加了一個暫停而已，就像一個醜女臉上的美人痣一樣，我們只會匆匆略過。

So there we are. Volkswagen is making it plain that the only reason you would want to buy a T-Roc is that there』s ￡500 on offer towards the cost of its Solutions PCP. Do you know what a PCP is? Or how a normal PCP might differ from a Solutions PCP? No. Me neither, so let』s forget about the T-Roc, which is only for those with an interest in accountancy, and move on to something a lot more interesting: Citro?n』s new DS 7.

所以事實就是，大眾想要告訴你買一輛T-Roc唯一的原因就是，你可以免費得到價值500美元的一套選裝件，至於那套所謂的駕駛輔助系統，你了解么？它又和普通的駕駛輔助系統有什麼區別么？我不知道，我估計也沒人想知道。所以讓我們忽略T-Roc，把目光投向一輛更有趣的新車：雪鐵龍DS7。

I called a guy at our office in Chiswick and asked him to bring it to my flat. On the way, a youth in a Subaru with an exhaust the size of a Sheffield Forgemasters supergun decided to crash into it. The Impreza was damaged badly, but the DS escaped with minor cuts and bruises. This surprised me.

前幾天我讓辦公室里一位住在奇西克的小夥子開著DS7載我回家，在路上一個開著排氣管和可樂瓶一樣大的改裝斯巴魯的小年輕突然決定撞向我。斯巴魯損毀嚴重，而DS也就蹭破點皮，讓我對這輛車刮目相看。

What didn』t surprise me, a few days later, after a visit to the sweet little Brunel museum in south London, was that the engine died. Being French, it had decided to go on strike. Citro?n』s press office didn』t seem too concerned, so I said I』d leave it to be towed away and would go home in a cab.

但是沒過幾天，DS7還是原形畢露了。在我前往倫敦南部那個可愛的布魯內爾博物館時，引擎罷工了。作為一個法國車，它決定日常抽風。不過雪鐵龍的公關似乎並不是很擔心，於是我扔在路邊叫人過來拖走，自己打的回家。

But as I was waiting for one to appear, the AA turned up, saying it』d plug the car into its diagnostic laptop to see what was wrong. 「Ha-ha-ha-ha,」 I said, while looking for Reg Crikey to take me home. But in just a minute the Citro?n came back to life, and that was another surprise because, in my experience, trying to mend a car with a laptop is like trying to do dentistry in boxing gloves.

在我等一個有緣人出現時，救援服務到了。救援的老哥說我先幫你看看這車啥毛病吧，用汽車診斷儀很快的。「哈哈哈，行的行的」我一邊應付著，一邊期待Reg Crikey接我回家，但是沒過一會雪鐵龍就滿血復活了。而且對我而言，拿電腦修車這種事就像是戴著拳擊手套做牙科手術，天方夜譚啊。

Later Citro?n called in a bit of a panic to say that there had been nothing wrong with the car, and that a faulty battery was to blame. I don』t buy that, I』m afraid, because the battery is, whether the company likes it or not, as much a part of the car as its doors, or its steering wheel. Saying the car was fine apart from a battery that wouldn』t hold its charge is like saying the patient is fine apart from the fact his heart exploded.

後來雪鐵龍有點慌，趕緊告訴我這車沒毛病，就是電池有點問題。呵呵，我可不信這種鬼話，因為不管是車內哪個部件，它都是整車的一部分，車子出問題說電池掛了甩鍋給電池廠商，或者哪個零部件壞了亂推卸責任這種做法本身就有問題，就像醫生告訴家屬你家孩子沒啥事，就是心臟偶爾停一會那樣的荒謬

Whatever. You』d imagine after a breakdown and a car crash I』d write the Citro?n off as a haunted Friday 13th car and move on to something else.

不過也都不重要了。你可能覺得在這輛DS7里的短短几天就經歷了一次車禍和一場故障的我，應該會寫一篇類似《「死神來了」之驚魂雪鐵龍》的文章，然後開始將目光轉向別處。

But there』s more. Hilariously, Citro?n is trying to pass the DS off as a standalone brand. Even though the only people who can remember the original DS are wearing incontipanties in nursing homes.

但是事情並沒有就此結束，可笑的是雪鐵龍還想把DS這個品牌傳承下來作為一個獨立品牌去運營。可是那些還能記得老DS的人們基本上要麼已經入土了，要麼就在療養院里穿著尿不濕流口水。

And anyway the whole point of that car was the clever suspension that allowed you to drive with one wheel missing, over a ploughed field, at 100mph, without spilling your cognac. Whereas the new DS judders over the smallest speed hump as if its ankle just broke.

而且當年的那台DS最大的亮點就是法國人發明的神奇懸掛，這套懸掛可以三輪前進，帶人以160km/h的速度輕鬆通過荒野還能保證你杯中的82年拉菲一滴不灑。而這台新DS7過一個最小的減速帶你都能感受到龐大的車身壓得懸掛不堪重負。

There』s more bad news. The basic cost of the car I tested, a Crossback Prestige, was ￡39,380. But it had been fitted with a night vision pack, an electric sunroof, big wheels and a few other options, so the actual cost was an eye-watering ￡44,855. Small wonder Citro?n is saying it』s not a Citro?n.

壞消息還不止這些，我這台DS7 Crossback Prestige素車價格為39,380英鎊（人民幣34萬左右），但是加裝了一堆亂七八糟的選配例如夜視系統，電動天窗，大輪圈和其他小東西之後，實際售價高達嚇人的44,855英鎊（約合人民幣39萬左右），難怪雪鐵龍儘力撇清自己和DS的關係，這價格還真不是一般雪鐵龍敢往上放的。

What it definitely is, is an SUV, and, as I may have mentioned a few times (No. You』ve mentioned it a thousand times — Ed), I can』t be doing with the damn things. They』re the motoring equivalent of the short-sleeved shirt. Patio furniture with brake lights. So there』s much not to like here, and yet . . .

所以這輛DS7的本質，只是一輛SUV而已，而且我也提過幾次（同事：不，你已經說過無數次了），這種垃圾玩意我真的不想再碰，它們只是披著汽車外殼的水泥柱子，帶剎車燈的高數課本而已。所以外在上這輛車真的不太行，但是…..

Step inside and you will find the doors and the dashboard are coated in quilted leather, such as you would find in a Bentley or an Aston Martin. And the clock is like a footballer』s watch. It doesn』t tell the time very well — 20 past nine comes up as four past 45 — but it』s a thing of ostentatious beauty. I would like such a thing in my life.

踏入車廂的一瞬間你會發現車門和中控被上等的皮革包裹著，就像你在賓利或者阿斯頓馬丁上見到的那樣。中控台上還有一塊看起來就很昂貴的表，它的指針其實看不太清楚——9點20看起來像4點45分一樣——但是這樣精緻的美麗，我這輩子都難以捨棄。

Then there are the buttons. Citro?n has gone for a Porsche approach by blunderbussing the transmission tunnel with big, bold switches, and the instrument binnacle is just as stylistically out there. You can choose what it says and how the information is portrayed, but it doesn』t matter what you go for: it』s very like being in a Lamborghini. If you are in the market for an SUV — and who isn』t these days? — you』d struggle to sit in a DS and decide to buy something else. I liked it enormously.

然後就是車內的按鍵。雪鐵龍在按鍵上決定向保時捷看齊，檔把和按鍵的整體設計顯得大膽時尚，稜角鮮明，儀錶盤的風格也與按鍵類似，你還可以選擇液晶儀錶盤要顯示的各種信息，從內飾上來說，它很像一輛蘭博基尼，儘管它不能改變這是一輛SUV的事實。如果你要去市場上找一輛SUV——這年頭誰不想要SUV呢？——你會為DS7車內的大膽設計感到困惑：這還是一輛SUV么？一般人只會糾結一會兒然後去看另一輛車，但是我很喜歡這種華麗的設計風格。

Handling. Fuel economy. Performance. They』re what you』d expect from an SUV, a type of car wilfully designed to be no good at any of those things. It has a 2-litre turbodiesel inline engine; MacPherson strut suspension at the front, multi-arm at the rear; electric power steering. It』s the same recipe every bugger is using.

操控、油耗和性能，這三點是消費者購買SUV最關鍵的要素，但是SUV本身的基礎設計就決定了它和操控、油耗和性能基本搭不上邊。DS7搭載了一台2.0直列四缸渦輪增壓柴油引擎，麥弗遜前懸掛和多連桿後懸掛和電子助力轉向，這些東西和市面上的任何一家品牌的SUV都是一模一樣的。

But on a motorway I was surprised — again — by just how quiet and unruffled it was even at what I』d say to police was 70mph. And this was an eight-speed diesel. The petrol version you』d buy, because the government』s seesaw thinking is that diesels are bad, will be even better.

但是在公路上我真的很驚訝——再一次——因為這具搭載了8速自動變速箱的柴油引擎的順滑和安靜真的超出我的想像，即便是開到70英里以上（112Km/h）的速度也是如此。不過政府對柴油車的政策日漸嚴苛，所以我建議大家最好去買汽油版的DS7，想必體驗會更好。

I was impressed with the Apache gunship-style night vision system too. When the infrared cameras spot something organic ahead, it』s ringed on the spooky black-and-white picture feed in a yellow box.

對於那套加裝的軍事武裝風格夜視儀我覺得也很棒。當我打開紅外攝像頭之後，萬一有任何生物出現在面前，系統會警報提醒，詭異的黑白色圖像中會顯示出一個黃色的方框以示警醒。

And that』s what I saw as I drove down the A44 late one Saturday night. A yellow box, ringing nothing that could be made out, in a wood. Being a cautious soul, I slowed down, and moments later a deer leapt out in front of me . . . It』s likely that if the car hadn』t had night vision, I』d now be wearing Bambi as a big, maggoty hat.

在上個周日我開著DS7經過A44的時候，夜視儀上的突然出現了一個黃色的框框，在警報滴滴作響的時候，路邊的灌木叢中卻沒有任何異樣。出於謹慎考慮，我開始慢下車速，片刻之後突然就有一隻鹿竄到前面…..如果這輛車沒有夜視儀，我現在應該戴著由它做成的帽子。

So there is much to like about this car. But it is very expensive and it was fitted with a battery that couldn』t hold its charge. Yes, it』s a lovely place to sit and wait for the AA, but I』m not sure that』s what people really want. So I』m afraid that overall it has to be a no.

所以這就是這輛DS7的全部了，一輛昂貴的，電池還不太好使的雪鐵龍牌SUV，一輛在你等救援服務的時候可以欣賞精美內飾的法國車。但是我不覺得這樣一台車是人們真正想要的，所以恐怕我們最後得出的結論還是那個「no」，不推薦。

總評：三星

A stunning space in which to sit and wait for the AA

一輛在等救援服務的時候可以欣賞精美內飾的法國車

AT A GLANCE

總覽

HANDLING 操控 3星
COMFORT 舒適 3星
PERFORMANCE 性能 3星
INTERIOR 內飾 5星
PRACTICALITY 實用 4星
COSTS 價格 3星

PROS

我們喜歡

Beautiful interior

無比精美的內飾

Night vision saved Bambi

拯救生靈的夜視儀

Quiet and unruffled on a motorway

高速上的靜謐和順滑

CONS

我們討厭

Like any SUV, its not built for handling, economy or performance

就像任何SUV，DS7和操控、經濟和性能沒有任何關聯

Judders over speed humps

過減速帶時的震動

Battery died

垃圾電池

SPECIFICATIONS

詳細參數

VARIANT型號: DS 7 Crossback Prestige BlueHDi 180 Automatic
PRICE價格: ￡39,335
ENGINE引擎: 1,997cc, 4 cylinders, diesel
POWER動力: 174bhp @ 3,750rpm
TORQUE扭矩: 295 lb ft @ 2,000rpm
TRANSMISSION變速箱: 8-speed automatic with manual mode, front-wheel drive
ACCELERATION加速: 0-62mph: 9.9sec
TOP SPEED極速: 134mph
FUEL油耗: 57.6mpg
CO2排放: 128g/km
DIMENSIONS三圍: 4,573mm x 1,906mm x 1,625mm

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