北上廣OR三線小城?(上)

標題黨了一下。

且慢,其實嚴格說來並非標題黨。因為這篇文章,我們將分析一道托福寫作的經典題目:

Some people prefer to live in a small town, others prefer to live in a big city.

Which place would you prefer to live in?

Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

你更願意居住在大城市,還是小鎮?

注意,需要使用「具體的理由和細節」來支持你的論點。

當天朝的青年們看著與工資漲幅極不成比例的房價漲幅,深夜裡苦逼地問自己是繼續漂在一線城市,還是回到家鄉歲月靜好時,

要知道,

你們不是一個人。

就如同所有托福老師都會告訴你的那樣——拿到題目稍加思索後,請馬上確定你的核心觀點(thesis statement),接下來儘快想出三個主要的理由(main reason),並且每個理由下面需要有細節(details)、事例(examples)等具體內容進行支撐論述。

大城市和小鎮其實各有明顯的優缺點,這篇文章難點在於如何將你的想法用英文表述出來,並寫成一篇有條理的文章。

我們先來說如果以「更願意住在大城市」為觀點,該怎麼寫。

簡單來說這篇文章應該是這樣的:

開頭段

  • 表明立場,引入話題

大城市優點1

  • 細節
  • 將這點與小鎮對比(可選)

大城市優點2

  • 細節
  • 將這點與小鎮對比(可選)

大城市優點3

  • 細節
  • 將這點與小鎮對比(可選)

讓步段

  • 大城市也有缺點+但是與優點比缺點並不大,或者缺點是有解決辦法的。(可選)

結尾段

  • 總結立場

大城市的優點 & 缺點

作為一個魔都土著,我的成長過程中得到了許多只有大城市才能給予的益處,同時也對其弊端深有體會。

那我們先說好處好了。

對於年輕人來說,最大的好處莫過於提供了讓夢想實現的舞台。這一點大多數選擇「更願意住在大城市」觀點的考生都可能想到。

於是,肯定有學生打算在寫這篇作文的時候用英語把腦子裡的這句中文逐字翻譯出來——

One the biggest advantages of living in a big city is that it provides the stage to realize your dream.

但是,

請Hold住這個【翻譯你腦海里中文句子】的想法先,這樣寫出來的文章的得分往往會比較捉急。

因為,歪果仁無法體會只有我們才懂的「含蓄」和「寫意」,在ETS評分官看來,托福寫作的語言需要避免晦澀(vague),而需要簡潔(concise)而生動具體(specific)。

那麼,我們該如何做到這一點呢?

其實並不難。你需要把你第一時間想出來的理由再進行加工,想一想它是否能夠更具體。

「讓夢想實現」更具體地來說,是提供更多的工作機會、更大的職業發展空間、更有競爭力地報酬等。

於是你的第一個理由就變得十分具體和清晰——

Big cities usually offer a variety of job opportunities and many career benefits including the potential to earn a higher income.

大城市通常提供多種不同工作機會和好處,包括獲得更高工資的可能。

相關辭彙

A dearth of jobs 缺乏工作機會

Climb the careerladder 攀登事業階梯

Savvy professionals 聰敏的職場人士

Expand professionalhorizons 擴大專業視野

Intense competition 激烈的競爭

Networking 編織人脈

這句話將作為文章第二段(第一段為開頭段)的第一句話,我們稱為Topic sentence. 此處,讓我們再回憶一下托福寫作的基本結構。

思維打開之後,你會發現第二、三個理由馬上就可以想到了,

攔都攔不住你:

比起小城市有更豐富的文娛活動、展覽演出,周末比上班還忙

The entertainment and cultural events in cities can be a big reason to settle there.

更多樣化,能結(gou)識(da)到來自不同背景、不同文化、總之什麼都和你不同的朋友

With thousands and even millions of people living in close proximity, cities have unlimited social potential for friends and networking.

對於吃貨來說,大城市的各種美食應有盡有,從好吃的街邊蒼蠅館子到米其林星級餐廳

From food stands to Michelin-starred restaurants, living in the city provides unique dining experiences.

提供更好的硬體設施比如公共交通、圖書館以及更好的醫療和教育資源等

Living in a city allows the opportunity to get care in a major medical institution and services and assistance for seniors.

相關辭彙

Metropolitan city 大都市

Skyscrapers 摩天大樓

Recreational activities娛樂活動

Cultural events 文化活動

Food stand 路邊的食品攤

Michelin-starred restaurant 米其林餐廳

Facility 設施

Diversity 多樣性

有一部前不久很紅的動畫片,正是大城市讓小人物的夢想照進現實的寫照,那就是《瘋狂動物城》,在那個「瘋狂」的大都市,小兔子實現了當警官的職業理想,結實了好朋友狐狸,豐富了自己的「兔生」。

提示:

平時看美劇、電影可以為托福寫作提供很多靈感和素材

在敘述了大城市的優點之後,我們最好寫一個讓步段,也就是說說它的缺點,以此進行「平衡」,在邏輯上完善自己論證。

讓自己看上去更講道理。

當然是否寫作讓步段要視你的時間所剩多少來決定。

什麼是讓步段和怎麼寫讓步段請見我在知乎上的這篇文章:【托福寫作】如何寫好讓步段 zhuanlan.zhihu.com/p/29

注意:

篇幅不能過長,讓步段只起到邏輯上完善的作用,說明大城市也是有缺點的,文章的核心觀點還是「大城市更好」,與它的優點相比,缺點就不那麼重要,而且有解決方法了。

所以,接下來,我們來歡樂地吐槽一下大城市的缺點吧!

首先是高昂的房價和物價,衣食住行每一方面都是高成本。說多了都是淚

擠地鐵還要助跑,被擠到骨折這事也是有的

人多。永遠都在排隊。

人與人之間的冷漠,這點與小鎮截然不同。

噪音、汽車尾氣、空氣污染

等等等

相關辭彙

Hustle and bustle 熙熙攘攘

Smog 霧霾

Lure 誘惑

Outskirts 市郊

寫作範文

現在,我們的思路整理得差不多了。我將以「更願意居住在大城市」為主要觀點,以「更好的醫療資源」、「更豐富的文娛活動」和「更多樣性的社交」為三個支撐理由寫作一篇範文。

「更多的工作機會」這個原因可能會被許多考生來寫,所以被拋棄了。

While the countryside offers a quiet, scenic backdrop, it lacks many of the advantages that make city living enjoyable. That』s why I would prefer living in a big city.

Medical care in rural areas simply cannot compete with the options available in a big city. Most people living in remote regions travel dozens of miles to visit a doctor, and specialist visits could become an overnight trip. Living in a big city gives you the opportunity to receive the highest caliber of medical care without traveling hours from your home. More than a dozen hospitals in the big cities such as Shanghai, Beijing or Guangzhou are nationally ranked for the quality of their medical care and superior staff. When it comes to finding adoctor in big cities, you have unparalleled options and resources to get the care you need.

The entertainment and culture incities can be another big reason to settle there. Whether it is greenspace, museums, theater, music venues or other cultural attractions, most cities have an array of options for spending your free time. On weekends, you can find tickets to see a live concert at the local music hall or attend a salon about the latest best-sellers. While some options can be costly, museums and historic sites are often free. The entertainment advantages of living in a big city are endless.

Furthermore, with thousands and even millions of people living in close proximity, cities have unlimited social potential for friends and networking. Meeting people is an effortless task in a big city.The diversity of major metropolitan areas allows you to broaden your spectrum of personal and professional relationships. Learning about other cultures and discovering shared interests with someone from a different background helps you grow into a more open and understanding individual. A social lifestyle in an urban area will expand your horizons and make interactions more meaningful.

While there are several benefits of living in an urban center, some challenges exist as well. Cost of living, noise and lack of space cause many to live on the outskirts and commute to work or even search for the rural life. For some the benefits of living in the city will be enough of a lure but for others, a turn-off.

It』s important to weigh the pros and cons specific to your situation before making the choice of where to live. Although small towns offer perks that big cities cannot have, I would still choose to live in a big city.

在下一篇文章中,我們將寫願意住在小鎮的理由。敬請關注!

本文作者Jessica老師簡介:


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