To love or not to love, never a question

I probably made a big mistake that I sparedfor like one and a half hour watching the movie How to Be Single. Initially all I was interested in is that myfavorite actress Alison Brie was in the cast. Well, it turned out that therewas just a few scenes about her.

But at least it is a good movie.

I』ve been keeping single since I broke upwith my ex before year three in senior high school. Having experienced a fewcrushes, well, I don』t really think I know how to be single and seem to bequite pessimistic about it. That does not quite reach my standard of being abachelor.

It』s not an option but a must-acquiredskill for me to enjoy myself to be single. In my long –term expectation, I willbe single for a long time and maybe for life time. I have to try to embrace thestatus-quo and enjoy this kind of sentimentality about being single.

Some may mention that the way to be singleis becoming independence. If that is true and a useful piece of advice to me, Iwouldn』t be so sentimental. I think I』m quite independent in dealing with mypersonal daily issues.

What I really need to do is to enjoy thisway of living more. It』s the tranquility that I find fun from my bachelor life.It is just one moment that I』m really enjoying my inner peace, during which Ican talk to the world, the whole human being, re-scrutinize myself and thinkingabout some childish and foolish question like 「What』s the meaning of living?Why do we need philosophy?」

I used to smoke cigarettes on the rooftopof the dorm building I live in, admiring the beautiful sunset and probably withsome jazz or blues playing, and empty myself, hanging out with myself in theway I』ve said above, but this joy and mental orgasm is really instantaneous.When I put my feet on the stairs all the secular stuff just flood in my mind.The should-be peaceful surface of the Walden crippled and won』t be pacifieduntil the next rooftop smoke tour.

I enjoy it this little secret tour. 20 rmba month and potential health risk totally worth it. Girlfriend, or at least someromantic relationships is great, and I』m still looking forward to a romanticrelationship, but the status quo is totally fine, and I enjoy it. But I deeplysuspected that this kind of coziness will extinguish my desire to start aromantic relationships.

Well, who cares? 「Carpe diem」, hell yeah,that』s more important.

Time to steal some whiskey from myroommate』s shelf. Nighty-night.