HBR: How Women at the Top Can Renew Their Mental Energy

05-06

By Harvard Business Review

For women with leadership ambitions, there is no shortage of advice for how

to reach the top. By learning to lean in, speak out, negotiate, delegate, and a

dozen other behaviors, women everywhere are launching themselves through the

glass ceilings of their organizations, landing jobs at or near the C-suite

level.

But what happens after the promotion? While top-level jobs are tough

on everyone, the transition to senior management comes with extra challenges for

women. Some are psychological, pertaining to gender differences in risk-taking

and self-confidence. Others are structural; in parenting, for instance,

childcare and domestic duties are still disproportionately shouldered by the

female partner. While these barriers affect women at all levels of the

organization, they are particularly pronounced in the pressure-cooker

environment at the top, putting women at a disadvantage.

Dealing with this challenge is something I am deeply familiar with. I am a

certified organizational psychologist with a Ph.D. in business economics. Over

the last 17 years, I have served as an executive coach to hundreds of senior

women leaders, many of them working in heavily male-dominated environments such

as banking, the military, and the police force. My work has given me some

insights into how women leaders can improve their chances of success once they

have reached the top.

At the center is managing your mental energy: How to gain it, maintain it,

and not drain it. Below are three tactics that my female clients have used to

succeed in the particular context of a top-level job: knowing your

superchargers, finding a work ally, and reducing your anxiety levels.

1. Know your psychological superchargers

Like it or not, in all but the most evolved organizations, the idea of

maintaining a work-life balance at the very top is simply fictional. As

Alexandra, a U.S. hedge fund partner, told me: 「If you want balance, go be a

yoga Nidra instructor.」 Another top management team I worked with had the motto

「Deliver or Die」; there was little doubt as to where 「me time」 belonged in that

particular team』s list of priorities. Given this brutal reality, combined with

the extra domestic burdens imposed on many women, how do female top leaders

manage to recharge their batteries?

Part of the answer lies in realizing that not all sources of energy are

equal. Specifically, some activities are what I call 「psychological

superchargers」 — that is, activities that yield a disproportionately bigger

energy boost than others. The nature of these superchargers varies from person

to person — I』ll share some examples shortly — but consistently, the most

successful women I』ve worked with figured out what theirs were and made sure to

tap into them regularly.

In looking for your own superchargers, keep two things in mind: First, set

aside culturally mandated ideas about what women are supposed or not supposed to

gain energy from (spoiler alert: spending time with kids is not always a net

contributor to your mental reserves), and look instead to your quirkier sides.

One leader I worked with got her mental boost from filling out a type of

paint-by-numbers mandala drawing; for her, it was an almost meditative activity.

Another leader found it hugely energizing to browse executive education programs

she might sign up for, as if perusing intellectual holiday destinations. As she

told me, 「I get my fix from the way it makes the world feel bigger.」 A third one

found energy in literature and in following new trends in a totally different

field.

Second, indulge your inner hedonist. On the personality tests I use, many of

the female leaders I coach score very low on hedonism-related measures. They are

highly conscientious people, a trait that served to get them into the top job,

but they also have a tendency to forget having fun and enjoying life. Perhaps

for that reason, superchargers not uncommonly involve a bit of lavish spending.

Senior leadership positions tend to come with bigger paychecks — and while your

instinct might be to save the money, don』t forget that occasional self-indulgent

spending can be a good investment, too.

2. Find a work ally

Your personal life, of course, is not the only source of energy; under the

right conditions, your work can also contribute to your mental reserves. This is

especially true if your team is characterized by what Harvard Business School』s

Amy Edmondson calls psychological safety; that is, the sense that your teammates are on your side, and

that it』s safe to make mistakes or say something stupid within the group.

The problem is, those conditions are generally not present at the top. Senior

leadership teams are often political, and failures typically have much larger

consequences. And while it is possible to build a real sense of team spirit at

the top with time and effort, new team members can rarely count on partaking in

it before they』ve proven themselves. What, then, can be done to create a

psychological work environment that helps maintain your energy?

The answer, I』ve found, is to abandon the idea that your team as a whole can

serve as a safe place. Instead, concentrate on gaining a single close ally —

that is, a person in your team that you feel free to discuss things with behind

the scenes and use as an outlet for the inevitable frustrations that come with

the job. The successful senior-level women I』ve worked with can immediately

answer the question, 「Who can you speak freely to?」 — and they are deliberate

about cultivating these relationships, using them to maintain their energy as

part of the day-to-day.

With luck, you may have an ally on the team already. But if you don』t, there

are ways you can speed up the process of creating such a relationship. First,

don』t necessarily focus on gender. It may feel natural to try to ally yourself

with another woman (if the team has one). But what I』ve found to be more

important than gender is shared values: that the other person is someone you can

relate to on a deeper level, and someone you can feel free to share a laugh

with. Alliances of this nature has strong parallels to friendships — some of my

clients refer to them as 「work marriages」 — and their formation often transcend

more superficial commonalities.

Second, make your own particular passions known. Alexandra, the hedge fund

partner, had colleagues who were obsessed with American football, but as she

told me: 「I never talk about sports. It doesn』t interest me.」 Instead, she

regularly brought up the things she cared about and sought out the individuals

who responded to those things, building her relationships based on authentic

commonalities.

Finally, create opportunities to talk to people one-on-one, outside of the

usual work setting. For some, this means sharing a car ride to an offsite or

making sure you get a seat next to each other on a long flight. Daily routines

can help too: Some of my clients have built alliances through exercising

together or carpooling on their way to or from work, using that time to discuss

new ideas or figuring out how to cope with the political game around them. There

is something about such 「offstage」 periods that promotes opening up and sets the

stage for creating stronger bonds.

3. Overcome anxiety by channeling your values

Risk-taking is part and parcel of corporate careers, and few people, men or

women, enter the top ranks of the organization without having made a bold gamble

or two along the way. But at the top, the nature of risk-taking changes

significantly. There is a lot more at stake; there are much larger degrees of

uncertainty around the choices you』ll have to make; and decisions might require

you to stand alone, going against an otherwise unified group of people with more

seniority in the role.

In my experience, women struggle with this shift a lot more than men, to the

point where anxiety becomes an overriding emotion in their new role. This

creates a double handicap. As an always-on background emotion, anxiety becomes a

major energy leech, constantly siphoning off your mental surplus. At the same

time, when your anxiety level is high, it is difficult to take chances with new

approaches, or even to see the situation with clear eyes. So, how should female

leaders find the daily courage to step up to the plate, make tough choices, or

stand alone on an issue — all while not allowing the pressure to drain away

their energy?

It』s all rooted in your larger motivation: Do you focus on your career,

aiming to maintain or even improve your position or political standing in the

group? Or do you focus more on making a difference? Paradoxically, I find that

women who focus on their career as their main goal are less likely to be truly

impactful as a leader. When your biggest aim is to avoid visible failures, the

temptation to play it safe can lead to a career dominated by perpetual anxiety,

and by a fatal tendency to shy away from the tough, career-defining calls.

In comparison, the successful top-level women I』ve coached were certainly

mindful of their careers. But they didn』t see it as an end goal. Rather, they

saw it as a tool to create results, changes, and breakthroughs around things

they really cared about. Their focus on doing what』s right created a mental

bulwark against the more extreme degrees of anxiety, allowing them to keep calm

under pressure and save their energy for where it was most needed.

For that reason, ask yourself: what can I vouch for? The ability to have the

courage of your convictions is essential, as is having the nerve to follow a

path — not because it is the easiest and most pleasant way to go, but because it

represents the right solution when things are chaotic and difficult. Even in the

stormiest sea, there is a calm that comes with staying true to your

convictions.

Jointly, the three tactics I have outlined here can make a real difference in

terms of managing your energy and succeeding at the top. And in more ways than

one, doing so is crucial, because a lot hangs in the balance. Unfairly or not,

the women that now enter top management face the added burden of showing that

they can perform as well or better than their male peers. It』s not enough to

shatter the glass ceiling. We have to make sure it stays shattered. To

that end, we need to focus on how more women can reach the top — and

how they can perform once they have arrived.

以上內容摘自：

https://hbr.org/2018/04/how-women-at-the-top-can-renew-their-mental-energy