用中國思維應對英語寫作——春秋筆法

05-01

8月27日的上海地區雅思大作文題總體難度不高，許多考生感覺還是可以各抒己見的。好容易遇到一篇難度適中的題，趁此機會，我來跟大家說說我的讓步段寫作技法——「春秋筆法」。

為統治者書寫歷史是個對情商智商要求超高的活兒：寫完以後，既要能保存自己的性命——把主子的醜事隱去，又要能忠於史家的使命——忠實記錄歷史，並針砭時弊。於是，在這看似不可能的任務中，歷代史家漸漸發生髮展出了一種明暗線交錯，讀來使人感覺意味深長的寫作手法，孔子最早賦予了它「春秋筆法」這個名字。這種寫作手法體現在兩個層次：1）微言大義；2）皮裡陽秋。前者用我的話說，就是於選詞中體現作者態度，是比較微妙，許多時候只可意會的手法。落實在相對細微的選詞、造句的維度。比如在同樣表達「建立了一個模型」這個意思的時候，使用construct a model和establish a model所想強調的重點是不同的。那麼根據上下文的需要如果作者能準確選用有力量的詞，可以與微妙處幫助作者表情達意，幫助讀者產生共鳴。

後者，即「皮裡陽秋」，用我的話講，是陰陽怪氣：看似往前進了兩步，但是好像又退了一步；看似在說支持的話，但是最終又把這些話削弱了。這是一種搭建小議論文的讓步段（concession paragraph）的好辦法。相比「微言大義」，它落實在相對宏觀的段落內部的論證層次上。

今天我們來結合最新這一題，講講「貓老師的春秋四法」。

題目：

Some people think it is more important to plant trees in open areas in towns and cities than to provide more housing. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

假設我們取支持多種樹的態度，那麼我們的論點是：

I agree that it is more important to plant trees in open areas in towns and cities than to provide more housing.

那麼我們要「讓步」——表面認可，實則削弱——的觀點則是：

I admit that providing more housing in the open areas in towns and cities is somehow important.

那麼接下去如何實現這個對這個觀點的讓步呢？

法一、「久旱逢甘露，一滴」

乾涸的土地上下了雨，本來是天大的喜事。但是，如果只下了一滴，是不是就不算什麼喜事了呢？所以，這一筆叫做"limited effect"——從效果的局限性上削弱對手的觀點。以這一題為例：

The appeal for constructing more houses roots in the belief that it would alleviate the shortage of housing in big cities. Proponents believe that by building more houses, more people would have access to better living conditions. However, they fail to see that with people pouring in, the speed of population growth in metropolis actually far surpasses what the speed of construction could ever reach. Thus, the real effect of building more houses in addressing housing shortage issue is very limited.

分論點：有人說多建房子更重要，因為可以解決大城市住房緊缺問題。

削弱：然而每天都有許多人湧向大城市。城市人口增長的速度遠遠超過建房子的速度。

Limited effect: 所以想通過建房子解決問題，效果很有限。

法二、「他鄉遇知故，債主」

人在他鄉，肯定很孤獨。如果遇到了自己的老相識，則又是喜事一樁。然而，如果這個老相識是這個世界上你最不想看到的人，或者是你一路逃亡想要躲避的人，那肯定瞬間就「悲劇」了對吧？所以，這一筆叫做"wrong assumption"——點出對手觀點的預設/前提中的邏輯錯誤。以這一題為例：

Some people assume that owning a property would elevate their index of happiness, so they support the construction of more houses. Unfortunately, most of them feel less happier almost immediately after purchasing the real estate, pressed by the immense mortgage. In some European cities where the economy is sluggish and the unemployment rate is high, some people are even deprived of happiness when they are made homeless after the default in mortgage loan. Apparently, erecting more houses in a city fails to raise people』s life quality.

分論點：有人支持多建房子，因為人們成了「房主」就會感到更幸福。

削弱：然而買了房子以後，房貸的壓力使人感覺不到幸福。甚至在某些經濟疲軟、失業率高的地方，人們的幸福隨著由於還不上房貸而被剝奪。

Wrong assumption: 所以，人們成了landlord以後就能快樂，是一個錯誤的預設。而它推導出的「應該多建房」也是自然不攻自破的。

法三、「洞房花燭夜，隔壁」

洞房花燭，山盟海誓，執子之手，與子偕老——這是許多人心目中最幸福的一夜。結果，發生在隔壁！也就是說：與你無關。這個叫做"irrelevant factor"——點出對手觀點與它聲稱可以達到的效果之間的無關性。以這一題為例：

Some city dwellers believe that their living conditions can be improved if there are more houses on the market, and therefore support the notion of providing more housing over more greenery. Contrary to this simpleminded view, in reality variables including the price, the income, the tax policy, and, in some regions, even the types of residence, collectively determine the possibility for one to own a house. This is why in metropolis around the world the number of houses available on the market is almost totally irrelevant to the improvements in living conditions.

分論點：隨著房子越來越多，人們會更快樂，因為可以有機會改善居住水平。

削弱：然而，事實上房價、收入、稅收、居民身份等諸多因素，一起決定了人們是否能改善居住水平。

Irrelevance: 世界上幾乎所有的大城市裡，人們幸福感跟那個城市建了多少房子可供居住，沒啥關係。

法四、「金榜題名時，夢裡」

這最後一件人生美事，可能也是正在看這篇文章的同學們目前最想要的一件事：進名校。但是如果最後發現不過是一場夢，是不是感覺瞬間轉喜為悲了呢？這一筆叫做"unlikely to happen"——點明對手觀點在現實中的「不太可能」。以這一題為例：

Some people believe that their living conditions are improved in accordance with the increase in housing. For this claim to be true, the price of houses ought to be relentlessly controlled within most people』s affordability. Unfortunately, most governments now are allowing real estate dealers and developers to manipulate the price, in hope of stimulating the sluggish economy. This renders providing more housing futile in elevating people』s living quality.

分論點：造更多房子可以是人們改善居住條件。

削弱：只有房價在人們可承受的範圍之內的時候，人們才能真的住進新建的房子里去，居住條件才能真的改善。這就需要嚴格監管。

Unlikelihood: 事實上，目前全球大城市的政府都在試圖通過房地產吸引投資，促進地方經濟發展，這樣地產商和開發商掌控房價。導致多造房子無法提高普通人的居住水平。

不知看到這裡，同學們除了四筆之外，有沒有在分論點上琢磨出一些門道來？這一套「春秋筆法」其實眼界並不高：只能算是為大家的讓步／削弱提供四種角度。同學們只要在其中熟練掌握其中一、二種，就能順利完成雅思、托福考試的大作文中讓步段的寫作。然而一篇好的文章必須是coherent and united的，就是說，讓步是否成功，還是要放在全文去關照的——最起碼，應該放在觀點和另外幾個的分論點一起關照，看一下它們之間是否是有機的整體。這是很關鍵的。在雅思考試中，需要被打擊的那個觀點本身的論證過程是不給出的（這個跟GRE寫作的Argument題不同），所以我們需要自己搭建一個對手的論證邏輯，然後去削弱它。搭建的時候，給自己留好削弱的後路即可，沒什麼太多稀奇的地方。學習的時候，千萬記住不要耽於這小小筆法，而應該縱觀全局，讓讓步段真正為主旨觀點服務。

以下提供我的寫作：

Some people think it is more important to plant trees in open areas in towns and cities than to provide more housing. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In their pursuit of quality life, city dwellers often dispute over the disposal of open areas. While some propose to build more houses so that more people could obtain property ownership, I insist that it is more important to use these lands to provide the public with more greenery.

In comparison, public afforest areas such as urban parks are more important in metropolis because they effectively arouse a sense of felicity. Such happiness primarily stems from improved physical health. If more trees are planted in a city, the air will be less polluted, temperature less brutal, surroundings less noisy, and solar radiation less intense, all of which strengthen people』s bodies. Besides, town greenery also contributes to people』s mental health. Meandering through the trees, people feel closer to the nature, and such closeness provides a temporary escape from all sorts of pressure and problems. In this way, trees help restore people』s inner peace and thus strengthen their minds.

To conclude, building more houses on cities』 scarce open areas is insensible because it is almost completely futile in improving people』s life quality. Planting more trees, on the other hand, optimizes the precious lands to benefit people』s overall health. Consequently, for the felicity of every individual in a city, open areas should be devoted to more greenery.