我在英國是如何學習莎士比亞范的寫作

前兩周去了趟英國。除到倫敦外，主要還是送小孩去Marlborough Summer School【注1】，上英文、野外求生等課程；由於凱特王妃畢業於此，該學院也被戲稱為皇家入門基地。

學院同時貼心的提供成人課程，給我們這種陪公主讀書的孝子父母進步空間；於是報了個 An Introduction of Creative Writing，英國創意文學寫作的入門班。

不是裝B啊，因為領導老婆大人已選了English as a Foreign Language不准我跟她同班，而這已是其它英文類最入門的課程…跟碰到的老外解釋不下5遍，回應都是「you are brave」 真勇敢。

蛤？課程介紹不是說啥都不用準備，只要會寫英文?

第一天上課老師給每人發巧克力；然後馬上臨場發揮，30分鐘內寫下對巧克力的感覺，朗誦後老師及同學點評；一早上就有2-4個這種練習。

怪不得英國佬講「brave」時都用憐憫眼神看我；寫作，尤其是英國文學寫作，跟日常會話完全倆回事；所以同學念他/她們文章時，就算沒英國腔我也80%聽不懂；何況同班全是退休的本地爺爺奶奶，non-native只我一個；老師更是教莎士比亞與劇場出身的。

艾瑪入坑了。

遇到問題就該召喚聖器【注2】

首先釐清概念：這門課叫Creative Writing，創意比重佔50%以上；

方法論：聽懂考題，產生創意，然後快速寫出來；

對於踐行方法，還好老師講考題還不太裝B，能聽懂；所以關鍵問題是時間緊不足以好好修改句子文法；既然我的writing弱，那就加強創意不管文法，先取50分；寫到大家聽懂就60分了，有空再修句子。

價值觀：先求有，再求好；

觀念串聯：用既有生活經驗及google大法串聯創意，目標出人意表。

第二天的踐行結果就是上周發布的文章」蘑菇」。老師同學都喜歡，只問說為何增加難度轉換性別；殊不知英國那會我天天下廚，窗外有花跟蜜蜂﹑煮的就是蘑菇，不寫得跟現實偏離點，老婆大人當真怎麼辦？

話說英國蘑菇還真心好吃啊。

後一天的題目是：

找歷史上或虛構的三個人來聚在Summer School里聊天

同學們選的有牛頓﹑亨利5世﹑哈利波特等英國相關人物，這時我的非本地化﹑讀書積累及Google能力就有優勢了【注3】：

丘吉爾拿著雪茄跟酒漫步在學校里，突然發現在下午茶的長桌旁有倆人在爭執；

川普：you are fired!! (川普名句) 講英文！我聽不懂任何外國鳥語！

凱撒：笨蛋！這是拉丁文 「 我見﹑我來﹑我征服 」 (凱撒名句)

川普：你講的是英文嗎？我還是聽不懂！

丘吉爾：永不屈服，永遠！(丘吉爾名句) 確實這位紳士的話比較深奧，需用心聆聽(諷刺川普不聽人說話)。您好，我是丘吉爾。

川普：我就是川普，富有又性感。

凱撒：我是羅馬第一公民凱撒。等等，川普你很有錢嗎？

川普：現擁有美國政府，將來會擁有美國所有房地產，你說我有不有錢？

凱撒：借些金幣吧，我會是你最好的投資。丘吉爾，也借我些？（凱撒以負債出名）

丘吉爾：除了鮮血﹑勞力﹑眼淚及汗水外我一無所有(丘吉爾名句)；你要借那樣？

講到這邊課堂上大笑。

除上述的兩篇外，其他練慣用上了遺產爭奪﹑同性戀﹑近親三角戀﹑車禍﹑自閉症﹑日本戰國史等元素，反正怎麼衝突怎麼來。那天午餐時同學評價：Creative but zero English，有創意, 英文夠爛; 也算目標達成吧。

但到周五能用的狗血創意差不多用光，嗟乎！韓劇慢魚才盡於此矣。

最後題目改編名著結局

看著其他人忙著改哈姆雷特﹑海明威﹑聖經，我則一心想用高大上的名著寫入流的英文句子，屢屢修改遭遇困境；拖到最後只剩30分還沒動筆，難道要放棄？老師一句話點醒我「可以改童話故事」【注4】：

孩子們已經三天沒吃飯了

幸好天上掉餡餅，這磚房裡就有三隻小豬；只要我攻進去就能帶培根回家。

雖然已吹倒兩棟房子，但這磚房很堅固也沒窗戶，不容易。

等等，屋頂上那是煙囪嗎？可以從那進啊。（往煙囪里下看）

有蒸氣！這些紅燒肉，想用熱水燙死我？以為不會被發覺嗎？

但由煙囪爬下去就躲不掉大鍋，這些食物還真能思考啊。

怎麼辦？孩子們已經三天沒吃飯了，不能放棄。

得丟些東西下去弄壞這鍋，屋頂上什麼都沒有，貌似能丟的只有我自己。

也許水沒那麼熱？也許我能馬上跳出來？

天越來越暗，孩子們已經三天沒吃飯了，而我也很餓。

既然身體是唯一能丟的東西，那就跳吧！為了小孩，值得搏命一試。

然而結局仍沒有改變，一個父親死了。後來孩子們呢？是不是都活下來了？誰知道?

換個視角，喜劇就成了悲劇；下課後同學特別過來說 「You are the best!!」

故事框架花二十分鐘構思，一設定完就不管文法往下走，結局是自己跑出來的；

想是把自己父親的身份代入了。不惜血本把小孩送英國送國際學校，也是希望能增加競爭力，避免將來餓肚子；其實我就是故事裡的大野狼啊。

加爾韋在「身心合一的奇蹟力量」里說人有兩個自我，頭腦和意識層面的自我1﹑及身體和潛意識層面的自我2。通常人由自我1主導，頭腦是主人，會對你的行為下對錯判斷，造成身體緊張表現受限；只有交給自我2由潛意識主導，才能越過對錯，超常發揮。

肯定那時兩個自我合作了。本來我只是慢魚，越來越知道自己不足；結果透過寫作時的壓力逼出只大野狼，跑來主導並使我超常發揮。

You are the best，慢魚跟大野狼；以後還請在各方面多多合作！

最後提供短篇故事寫作要領，教莎士比亞的英國老師直傳哦！

Some comments on the short story as a genre

對於一些以日常情景為主題的短篇故事的建議：

The aim of a short story is to achieve a single concentrated impression, so it must move swiftly; it cannot afford to pause to describe the dull and uneventful time through which the reader actually experience time.

因為短篇故事的目的是造成單一的、強烈的印象，所以整體節奏要移動的很快；不能讓讀者卡在無趣、無變化的敘述上。

Short stories usually focus on one action or event. It may be ordinary event highlighted by the writer to depict the nature of ordinary life or it may depict a crisis which interrupts ordinary life, leaving everything changed.

通常短篇故事聚焦在單一情節或事件；也許透過描述日常生活的性質來突出尋常的事件、也許刻畫災難阻斷了原本生活而產生的改變。

Where the author aims to depict the daily round, s/he frames the chosen event by selecting it and inviting the reader to share in what s/he has noticed. A short story of crisis however, deals with an event which by its nature is out of the ordinary and the writer』s telling of the story must evoke the special nature of the central character』s situation.

描寫日常生活短篇時，先遴選一些事件進行刻畫，分享其發現或關注點給讀者；當描寫災難短篇時，則需了解事件里一些異乎尋常的性質，並在對主要情境敘事中喚醒這些特殊性質。

The nature of the story as 「ordinary」 or 「special」 in its essence will influence such important aspects as point of view, characterization, mood and style.

這些關於「日常」或「特殊」故事裡的性質，其精華本質將影響故事呈現的輪廓，如觀點、特性、氛圍或風格。

Short stories often show rather than tell and they may require the reader to respond to the writer』s hints rather than offering detailed explanations. Characterization, for instance, often works by implication rather than detailed description.

在短篇故事中，通常展現比敘述好；也就是留線索讓讀者發現比提供細節解釋好。特性描述、類比舉例，都比敘述細節好。

The sort story often aims to provide the reader with a moment of insight of 「epiphany」. It may convey a moral message.

短篇故事通常目的是讓讀者「煥然大悟」；也許是透過寓意傳達。

The sort story often contains a 「twist」 even though it has been signposted.

就算是已經明白指路給讀者，但短篇小說通常仍需設定迂迴糾結處（我想是設關卡讓讀者思考通關吧）

Beginnings and ending are particularly important in the short story. Beginnings often suggest a great deal in a few words. Ending must be carefully contrived in order not to seem contrived.

開頭結尾對於短篇故事特別重要。建議開頭切題簡潔，結尾不要看起來刻意做作。

我是慢魚愛立刻，寫作一點點的踐行學徒；期待建構有愛的智能世界，希望有您參與。

如果文章對您有用，還請留言批判、或轉發傳播。感激不盡。

注1：學校網址百度 marlboroughcollege

注2：請參見我前作「死神的聖器」一文

注3: 原文

One man took his wine and cigar roaming on the course of summer school. He figured out there were 2 men arguing beside the long table, so he walked to them.

2nd man: You are fired! Speaking in English, I don』t understand any god damn foreign language!

3rd man: Fool, the term means 「I see, I come, I conquer.」

2nd man: are you speaking in English? Why can』t I understand still?

1st man: Never give in, never, never, never. Indeed the gentleman』s announcement is hard, only you can get by listening with heart. I am Spencer Churchill, nice to meet you.

Donald: I am Donald, rich and sexy.

Churchill: and you Mr.?

Caesar: I was the first citizen of Rome, Caesar. Wait a second; did you say you are rich? Donald?

Donald is proud: Absolutely, I own the United States government now, and I will own all American estates one day.

Caesar: Great, could you lend me some gold? I will be your best investment. And you Spencer, could you lend me some?

Churchill: I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. Which one do you want?

Donald: What are those? Are those good investments?

注4：原文

My kids have been no food 3 days.

Currently I am standing in front of a brick house where 3 pigs inside, certainly a gift from above.

Only I need is looking for a way to fetch those bacons.

It did not work to huff, although I was successful twice.

There is no window but a locked firm door. How can I get in?

Wait, a chimney is on roof where I can get in. Let me do it.

(Looking down by chimney)

What is this? A cauldron with hot water? Sneakly fool bacons, are you expecting I would not aware the steam in chimney?

But it』s really a good idea; certainly I will fall into the cauldron getting in chimney.

The foods can think, I thought.

How should I do? My kids have no food 3 days, I can』t give up.

I should drop something to destroy the cauldron, but there is nothing on roof, my body is the only thing to drop.

Might the water is not so heat? Might I quickly jump out? The sky is coming darker and darker, my kids have no food 3 days, and I am hungry too.

Since my body is the only thing to drop, I will jump. For my kids, I have to try.

But the ending did not change. A father died. No one know how』s going about the 4 baby wolves; they might alive or starve, who knows?