有趣好玩的英文段子

1.Professor: Please make your own comments to food shortage problem spread in other countries.

U.S students: What is other countries?

2.Wife: "How would you describe me?"

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

Wife: "What does that mean?"

Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."

Wife: "Thank you, but what about IJK?"

Husband: "Im just kidding!"

3.一個澳大利亞人剛到美國，過馬路的時候差點被車撞到。

司機對他吼道：Do you come here to die?

澳洲人聽了，回到：No, I came here yesterday!

4.Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that Id passed todays exam.""Dont trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope Ill fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.

在期末考試之前，湯姆告訴他的母親：「媽媽，我昨天晚上做了一個夢，夢見我通過了今天的考試。」「不要相信夢，親愛的。據說夢中的經歷通常與現實相反。」媽媽答道。「那麼，我真希望在今晚的夢中，我的其他功課都不及格。」湯姆說。

5.Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you dont give me a nickel Ill tell my father.Sisters boyfriend: No, dont do that. Heres a nickel.Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter Ive made this month.

弟弟：我看見你親我姐姐了，如果你不給我五分錢，我就告訴我爸。姐姐的男朋友：不要那樣做。給你五分錢。弟弟：我這個月已經賺了一塊兩毛五了。

6.A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Arent you pleased that youve come to live with us now?

一位年輕的母親認為，世界上還有許多受飢餓的人，浪費食物真不應該。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女兒睡覺之前，她給女兒喂夜宵。她先給她一片新鮮的黑麵包和黃油，但孩子說她不喜歡這樣吃。她還要一些果醬塗在麵包上。母親看了女兒幾秒鐘，隨即說道，露茜，當我象你一樣小的時候，總是吃麵包加黃油，或者麵包加果醬，從來沒有麵包既加黃油又加果醬。露茜看了母親一會兒，眼中露出憐憫的神情，然後她柔聲說：您現在能跟我們生活在一起難道不感到高興嗎？

7.Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that weve been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"

婚後已久，我丈夫往往在一個特別事情上需要委婉的提醒。在我們結婚35周年紀念的早上，我們正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：「親愛的，你意識到我們在這兩個相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了嗎？」 他放下報紙，眼睛直直地望著我：「因此，你想交換座位嗎？」

8.A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.

一天，教授正在給學生們監考。他發下試卷，然後回到講台前等待。考試結束了，學生們紛紛交回試卷。教授發現一張試卷上別著一張百元鈔票，還有一張紙條寫著：「一分一塊錢。」

第二堂課，教授把試卷都發回學生們手中。其中一個學生不但得到了試卷還得到64塊錢的找零。

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