Dartmouth學姐Michelle帶你 「跳出"美本文書的「深坑」

Story從"美國大選"到"好萊塢電影"，我們不得不承認美國人不僅善於「講自己的故事「，還喜歡聽「別人的故事「。「什麼才是好故事？」，「如何寫出好故事？」

過來人的寫作經驗總能給予你啟發，幫助你少走彎路！ 「上師均融留學」的顏值與智慧擔當Michelle, 在2015-2016的申請季中收穫了申請大滿貫，她的那篇「以小見大」的申請Essay, 以「四兩撥千斤」的姿態博取了包括賓大，達特茅斯在內的藤校「歡心」。她在文書準備過程中經歷了怎樣的過程？又總結了哪些寫作門道呢？ 接下來，我們聽Michelle娓娓道來…

「文書選題，以小見大」 「美本議事堂」暑期微課堂實錄（1） By Michelle Wu My English name is Michelle Wu. My Chinese name is 吳悠.I attended Dulaney High School. The universities that I was accepted to are: Dartmouth College, University of Pennsylvania, Cornell University, Johns Hopkins University, University of Maryland College Park, University of Virginia, and Case Western Reserve University.

I chose to attend Dartmouth College because of its focus on undergraduates,especially professors』commitment and dedication to undergraduate teaching. When I attended Dartmouth』s admitted students day, I found that the people and environment were extremely welcoming, safe, and supportive.The University of Pennsylvania offers very interdisciplinary course selections. Even though I am in the College of Arts and Sciences, I could still take classes in business and management at Wharton. What wasn』t especially attractive was UPenn』s cutthroat, competitive culture. For me, Cornell University』s extremely large student body population was not appealing. I preferred a smaller student to faculty ratio. Johns Hopkins University』s atmosphere was just as welcoming as Dartmouth』s, but I was weary of its more graduate/medical oriented focuses. Johns Hopkins is also too close to home, and I wanted to be more independent. I applied to University of Maryland College Park, University of Virginia,and Case Western Reserve University as safety schools. At University of Maryland College Park, I received a full scholarship and additional stipends. Financially,College Park』s offer was tempting, but I hoped to attend a smaller school and one with more rigorous academics. Many of the schools I was accepted to are very similar in their academics, extracurriculars, and faculty research, so when I was choosing betwen schoools, the deciding factor was the campus feel.

I think the most important part of the essay writing process is brainstorming. When I started, I insisted on writing about one topic that I thought would impress admissions readers but found that after two months,my essay still wasn』t personal or interesting. Keep in mind, I started writing mid-June and still pored over a lackluster and static essay in August. This initial essay was about my experience with teaching music to underprivileged children in Baltimore City, where the population is mainly African-American. First of all, saying that I was going to use music to bring these children out of poverty-stricken neighborhoods and create a better future for them is exactly what admissions officers do not want to hear. What I wrote was the classic savior story; it is best to write a story in which you are humble and describe how you yourself grew and developed from your experiences. I was set on answering question 4 on Common App (Describe a problem you』ve solved or a problem you』d like to solve.Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.) My second mistake was defining the problem I would like to solve as racism. Racism is an extremely large topic. Writing that teaching music can eradicate racism and bigotry from surrounding communities is simply not believable. Not only is it an unattainable goal, but it also violates the idea of creating a bigger theme from a smaller event. This essay may have been improved if I had used my daily conversations with my students to show my passion and love for music. If I had done that instead,this essay would have fit into Common App』s first question (A background, identity, interest,or talent that you would like to share.)

Last summer, I attended a seven-week Girls Who Code computer programming camp, which was the basis for my final Common App essay (I answered Question 1.) Because I had just finished my camp when I started writing my Girls Who Code essay, it was easy to make it personal and believable. My essay did not start off with my experiences at the camp, but rather four months before where I expressed reluctance in applying. To describe my reluctance, I used dialogue (a back-and-forth conversation with my mom.) Instead of simply saying 「I don』t want to go to this camp,」 I showed my discontent and even fear of the unknown through dialogue. Your motto for essay writing should always be 「Show, don』t tell.」Another important aspect to remember is that your essay must have one line of focus, following one point throughout. Here was my line of focus. Resistance -> realization that I wanted my own share of adventures -> transition into my development out of fear -> the troubles I encountered with coding -> what I did to better understand it -> my accomplishments and the projects I created -> conclusion, which should not merely summarize your story but rather expand it by adding new insight. In my conclusion, I spoke of founding a Girls Who Code Club at my school in order to help more girls, who may have been shy and scared of a male-dominated STEM field like I was, become leaders. The above outline, a crucial step in the essay writing process, should be the skeleton of your essay.Embedded within this skeleton should lay vivid details and descriptions to bring the story to life. When the admissions officer is finished reading, he/she must be able to know either how your experience has changed who you are as a person or what you have learned from this experience. I think this essay worked because I wrote about something unique to me and something that I could develop into an interesting narrative. For me, I showed the admissions officers my persistence and refusal to relent when facing challenges. What will you bring to the college? Colleges look especially for talent, initative, passion, and impact.

A great way to start brainstorming is to use the six-word memoir. Write about your summer, your high school career, or a vacation trip in just six words. The idea behind those six words should form the crux of your essay. For my Girls Who Code Common App essay, I could write 「Pulled muscle using computers too much.」 In just these six words, I can develop a story that shows my persistence, focus, and passion for computer coding. Another example is 「Surprisingly few late night homework sessions,」 which shows respect and appreciation for time management skills and how much you value bonding time with friends. Once you have your six words written, you can turn it into a vignette/short narrative, creating a 「arc.」 Remember to always tell a story rather than listing facts or descriptions.

「Why」Essay questions may appear in the form of, 「How will you explore your intellectual/academic interests?」 It is important to express your interests and passions first and then proceed to describe how you will develop them at the school to which you are applying. When writing your 「Why」 essay, you must be specific. Does the school you』re interested in have a Core Curriculum, a specific program (like UPenn』s Life Sciences and Management) or a certain professor who is doing research that you are interested in? For my UPenn essay, I wrote about an AP Physics experiment that sparked my passion for wondering how things work in the natural world. After describing this experiment, I then went on to say that I hoped to follow in the footsteps of a particular physics professor whose research was similar to my interests.Other schools, like Columbia, may ask you for a 「Why」 essay pertaining to the major you applied for. In that case, you can write about a specific incident in which you realized that you were fascinated by that topic. You may write about a chemistry experiment or that time you met a famous literary critic, fueling your interest for literature and linguistic studies.

To help you write your why essay, you must know the college inside and out. Read everything on the college』s official website. Know which professors are doing relevant research and which programs interest you. One thing you cannot do in your why essay is write about the school』s passion for learning without saying how that particular characteristic pertains to you and your interests. Do not write 「…prized traits are its imagination, thirst for knowledge, and prestigious ranking」 because these characteristics are not unique and most likely apply to many of the schools to which you are applying.

To sum it up, always go small to big. Wrap your story, which should not be a factual description, with details. Remember that everything must be about you. The most important thing is that you must make admissions officers believe you understand the school and what values the school champions, and you can only do so through extensive research.Extracurricular short answer:

You can always reuse and recycle your essays. Many of the essay prompts are similar. Your answers may only need a little tweaking to fit different schools』 requirements.

Some colleges, like Harvard, will ask you to write a short answer of about 150 words in which you elaborate on one of your extracurricular or work experiences. In these cases, it is best to choose an activity that was the most meaningful to you. It is not necessary to choose one in which you were president or team captain if you have no passion or connection with the activity. Your short answer should be a glimpse into your interests and values. What do you really care about?
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