SH23翻譯：十八歲出門遠行（余華）

SH23翻譯：十八歲出門遠行（余華）

Translation: Travel Afar From Home At Age Eighteen (Yu Hua)

(translated by: alexcwlin; edited by: Adam Lam)

柏油馬路起伏不止，馬路像是貼在海浪上。

An undulating asphalt road went up and down continuously as if it were stuck to ocean waves.

我走在這條山區公路上，我像一條船。

In walking on this mountain highway I felt like I were a boat.

這年我十八歲，

That year I was eighteen years old.

我下巴上那幾根黃色的鬍鬚迎風飄飄，

The several strands of yellow goatees under my chin were waving in the wind.

那是第一批來這裡定居的鬍鬚，所以我格外珍重它們，

Those were the first beards that settled there and so I particularly cherished them.

我在這條路上走了整整一天，已經看了很多山和很多雲。

I had been walking along this road for a whole day and seeing many mountains and clouds.

所有的山所有的雲，都讓我聯想起了熟悉的人。我就朝著它們呼喚他們的綽號，

All those mountains and clouds reminded me of familiar people and I called out their nicknames as I was looking at those reminders.

所以儘管走了一天，可我一點也不累。

Therefore despite traveling for a day, I didn』t feel a bit tired.

我就這樣從早晨里穿過，現在走進了下午的尾聲，

In this manner I had passed morning and was heading toward the tail end of afternoon.

而且還看到了黃昏的頭髮。

Now a trace of evening was in sight.

但是我還沒走進一家旅店。

But I had not checked into a motel.

我在路上遇到不少人，可他們都不知道前面是可處，前面是否有旅店。

I ran into many people on the road, but all of them did not know what was further ahead and if there would be motel coming up.

他們都這樣告訴我：「你走過去看吧。」

They all told me: 「You go there and see for yourself.」

我覺得他們說的太好了，我確實是在走過去看。

I felt they were great in what they said and really I was going there to see for myself.

可是我還沒走進一家旅店。我覺得自己應該為旅店操心。

But I had not checked into a motel and I thought I should be worried about motel by that time.

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我奇怪自己走了一天竟只遇到一次汽車。

It was strange that in walking for the whole day, I only ran into an automobile once.

那時是中午，

That was at noon.

那時我剛剛想搭車，但那時僅僅只是想搭車，那時我還沒為旅店操心，

At that time, I just wanted to ride in an automobile and was not yet concerned about checking into a motel.

那時我只是覺得搭一下車非常了不起。

I only felt riding in a car would be a big deal.

我站在路旁朝那輛汽車揮手，

While standing beside the road I waved at the car.

我努力揮得很瀟洒。

I put in much effort trying to look cool in waving.

可那個司機看也沒看我，汽車和司機一樣，也是看也沒看，

But both the driver and the car did not look at me once.

在我眼前一閃就他媽的過去了。

They went past me in a damned flash.

我就在汽車後面拚命地追了一陣，我這樣做只是為了高興，因為那時我還沒有為旅店操心。

I chased after the car with all my might for a while just for fun, because I was not worried about a motel at the time.

我一直追到汽車消失之後，然後我對著自己哈哈大笑，

The chasing continued until the car went out of sight and then I laughed heartily to myself.

但是我馬上發現笑得太厲害會影響呼吸，於是我立刻不笑。

Then I discovered laughing too hard would affect my breathing, and so I stopped laughing immediately.

接著我就興緻勃勃地繼續走路，

I continued to walk on in high spirit.

但心裡卻開始後悔起來，後悔剛才沒在瀟洒地揮著手裡放一塊大石子。

But in my mind I was regretful that I did not place a rock in my graceful waving hand a while ago.

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現在我真想搭車，因為黃昏就要來了，

Now I really wanted to ride in a vehicle because evening was at hand.

可旅店還在它媽肚子里，

Yet motel was still nowhere in sight.

但是整個下午竟沒再看到一輛汽車。

After all, I didn』t see a car again for the whole afternoon.

要是現在再攔車，我想我准能攔住。

But then if I wanted to stop a car I would for sure be able to do so.

我會躺到公路中央去，我敢肯定所有的汽車都會在我耳邊來個急剎車。

I would lie in the middle of the road and definitely all the cars would brake to a screech.

然而現在連汽車的馬達聲都聽不到。

But at that moment I could not hear even motor sound of a car.

現在我只能走過去看了，

Now I could only walk further up ahead to see what could be there.

這話不錯，走過去看。

The expression 「walk over and look」 was indeed nicely put.

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公路高低起伏，

The highway went up and down.

那高處總在誘惑我，誘惑我沒命奔上去看旅店，

A high point was always tempting to me and lured me to run up like crazy to check for a motel.

可每次都只看到另一個高處，中間是一個叫人沮喪的弧度。

But every time I only saw another high spot and the middle was a disheartening curve.

儘管這樣我還是一次一次地往高處奔，次次都是沒命地奔。

Despite happening that way time and time again, I still ran towards those high spots and every time I ran really hard as if my life depended on it.

眼下我又往高處奔去。

At that very moment I was running toward another high point.

這一次我看到了，看到的不是旅店而是汽車。

This time what I saw was not a motel but an automobile.

汽車是朝我這個方向停著的，停在公路的低處。

The automobile driving in my direction stopped at a low place of the highway.

我看到那個司機高高翹起的屁股，屁股上有晚霞。

I saw the raised buttock of the driver with evening glow bouncing off the butt.

司機的腦袋我看不見，他的腦袋正塞在車頭裡。

The driver』s head was not in sight and it was under the hood of the automobile.

那車頭的蓋子斜斜翹起，像是翻起的嘴唇。

The lifted hood was at a slanted angle like pouting lips.

車箱里高高堆著籮筐，我想著籮筐里裝的肯定是水果。

The trunk was piled high with bamboo baskets and I figured it had to be fruits inside them.

當然最好是香蕉。我想他的駕駛室里應該也有，

Preferably they were bananas and there should be some lying inside the driver』s compartment.

那麼我一坐進去就可以拿起來吃了，

That way I could pick them up and start eating once I got in.

雖然汽車將要朝我走來的方向開去，但我已經不在乎方向。

Even though the automobile was heading towards the direction where I came from but I didn』t care about direction anymore.

我現在需要旅店，

What I needed was a motel.

旅店沒有就需要汽車，汽車就在眼前。

Without a motel I needed an automobile, and an automobile was right in front of me.

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我興緻勃勃地跑了過去，向司機打招呼：「老鄉，你好。」

I ran up excitedly and greeted the driver: 「Good day, fella.」

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司機好像沒有聽到，仍在弄著什麼。

It seemed like the driver did not hear me and kept on fiddling at something.

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「老鄉，抽煙。」

「Fella, smoke?」

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這時他才使了使勁，將頭從裡面拔出來，並伸過來一隻黑乎乎的手，夾住我遞過去的煙。

At that moment he pulled his head out with much effort and stretched out his blackened hand to hold the cigarette from me between two fingers.

我趕緊給他點火。

I hurried to light the cigarette for him.

他將煙叼在嘴上吸了幾口後，又把頭塞了進去。

He took a few puffs at the cigarette dangling from his mouth and then he put his head back under the hood.

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於是我心安理得了，

So I felt at ease.

他只要接過我的煙，他就得讓我坐他的車。

I imagined since he accepted my cigarette, he had to let me ride in his automobile.

我就繞著汽車轉悠起來，轉悠是為了偵察籮筐的內容。

So I sauntered around his vehicle to check out the contents of the baskets.

可是我看不清，

But I was not able to see anything clearly.

便去使用鼻子聞，聞到了蘋果味，

I used my nose to sniff and picked up scent of apples.

蘋果也不錯，我這樣想。

I thought apples would be pretty good.

不一會他修好了車，就蓋上車蓋跳了下來。

Before long he finished fixing the automobile, slammed down the hood and jumped down to the ground.

我趕緊走上去說：「老鄉，我想搭車。」

I walked up to him in a hurry and said: 「Pal, may I get a ride from you?」

不料他用黑乎乎的手推了我一把，粗暴地說：「滾開。」

Unexpectedly he used his blackened hand to give me a shove and said rudely: 「Get the hell away.」

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我氣得無話可說，他卻慢悠悠地打開車門鑽了進去，

I was lost for words in fury, but he took his time to open the vehicle door and went inside.

然後發動機響了起來。我知道要是錯過這次機會，將不再有機會。

Then sound of the fired up engine could be heard, and I knew if I missed this opportunity to get a ride there would not be another one.

我知道現在應該豁出去了。

It was time to go for broke.

於是我跑到另一側，也拉開車門鑽了進去。

So I went to the other side of the vehicle, pulled open the door and went inside.

我準備與他在駕駛室里大打一場。

I was prepared to get into a big scrape with him inside the driver』s compartment.

我進去時首先是沖著他吼了一聲：「你嘴裡還叼著我的煙。」

The moment I went in I howled at him: 「You』re still dangling my cigarette in your mouth.」

這時汽車已經活動了。

By then the car had already started moving.

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然而他卻笑嘻嘻地十分友好地看起我來，

Yet he was smiling and very friendly in the way he was looking at me.

這讓我大惑不解。

I was really puzzled.

他問：「你上哪?」

He asked: 「Where are you going?」

我說：「隨便上哪。」

I said: 「Anywhere would be fine.」

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他又親切地問：「想吃蘋果嗎?」他仍然看著我。

He asked me cordially while looking at me: 「Do you want to eat any apple?」

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「那還用問。」

「Do you need to ask?」

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「到後面去拿吧。」

「Go to get some at the back.」

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他把汽車開得那麼快，我敢爬出駕駛室爬到後面去嗎?

He was driving the automobile very fast, and how would I dare to crawl to the back?

於是我就說：「算了吧。」

So I said: 「Forget it.」

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他說：「去拿吧。」他的眼睛還在看著我。

He said while his eyes kept looking at me: 「Go and get some!」.

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我說：「別看了，

I said: 「Don』t look at me.

我臉上沒公路。」

I don』t have the highway on my face.」

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他這才扭過頭去看公路了。

Then he turned his head around to look at the highway.

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汽車朝我來時的方向馳著，我舒服地坐在座椅上，

The vehicle speeded towards the direction where I came from and I sat comfortably in the seat.

看著窗外，和司機聊著天。

I was looking out the window while shooting the breeze with him.

現在我和他已經成為朋友了。我已經知道他是在個體販運。

Now we had become friends, and I knew he was a proprietor vendor-trucker.

這汽車是他自己的，蘋果也是他的。我還聽到了他口袋裡面錢兒叮噹響。

He owned both the automobile and the apples, and I could hear his pockets were clinking with coins.

我問他：「你到什麼地方去?」

I asked him: 「Where are you going?」

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他說：「開過去看吧。」

He said: 「Let』s drive ahead and see.」

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這話簡直像是我兄弟說的，這話可多親切。

These words simply were something which my own brother would say and how warm they really sounded.

我覺得自己與他更親近了。

I felt he and I were getting much closer with each other.

車窗外的一切應該是我熟悉的，

Everything outside the window should be something which I was familiar with.

那些山那些雲都讓我聯想起來了另一幫熟悉人來了，於是我又叫喚起另一批綽號來了。

Those mountains and clouds reminded me of some other familiar faces, and I had to come up with another bunch of nicknames.

現在我根本不在乎什麼旅店，

Now I surely did not care about any motel.

這汽車這司機這座椅讓我心安而理得。

I was completely put at ease by the automobile, the driver and the seat.

我不知道汽車要到什麼地方去，他也不知道。

I did not know where this vehicle was heading and he did not know either.

反正前面是什麼地方對我們來說無關緊要，

In any case it was unimportant for us what places were lying ahead further down the road.

我們只要汽車在馳著，那就馳過去看吧。

So long as the vehicle was racing ahead, we would be speeding along to take a look.

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可是這汽車拋錨了，

But this automobile broke down again.

那個時候我們已經是好得不能再好的朋友了。

By that time we were practically bosom buddies.

我把手搭在他肩上，他把手搭在我肩上。

We put hands on each other』s shoulders.

他正在把他的戀愛說給我聽，正要說第一次擁抱女性的感覺時，這汽車拋錨了。汽車是在上坡時拋錨的，

He was telling me about his romances and just when he was getting into how he felt holding a female for the first time, the vehicle conked out while climbing a slope.

那個時候汽車突然不叫喚了，像死豬那樣突然不動了。

It simply would not respond and lay there motionless like a dead pig.

於是他又爬到車頭上去了，又把那上嘴唇翻了起來，腦袋又塞了進去。

So he climbed back to the front of the vehicle, lifted up the pouted-lip-like hood, and poked his head underneath.

我坐在駕駛室里，我知道他的屁股此刻肯定又高高翹起，

I sat inside the driver』s compartment and knew for sure his buttocks would be tilting high up in the air.

但上嘴唇擋住了我的視線，我看不到他的屁股，

But the lip-like hood was blocking my view and I could not see his butts.

可我聽得到他修車的聲音。

Yet I could hear noises made by him in fixing the vehicle.

過了一會他把腦袋拔了出來，把車蓋蓋上。

After a while he took his head out and closed the hood.

他那時的手更黑了，

His hands became more blackened.

他把臟手在衣服上擦了又擦，

He wiped his dirty hands on his clothes again and again.

然後跳到地上走了過來。

Then he jumped down to the ground and walked over.

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「修好了?」我問。

「Is it fixed?」 I asked.

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「完了，

「It』s all over.

沒法修了。」他說。

I can』t fix it,」 he said.

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我想完了，

I thought that was it.

「那怎麼辦呢」我問。

「Then what should we do?」 I asked.

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「等著瞧吧。」他漫不經心地說。

「Just wait and see,」 he said seemingly unconcerned.

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我仍在汽車裡坐著，不知該怎麼辦。

I was still sitting in the vehicle and didn』t know what to do.

眼下我又想起什麼旅店來了。

At that stage I thought about motel again.

那個時候太陽要落山了，晚霞則像蒸氣似地在升騰。

By that time the sun was setting and evening glow was rising up like steam vapor.

旅店就這樣重又來到了我腦中，

Just like that motel came back to my mind again.

並且逐漸膨脹，不一會便把我的腦袋塞滿了。那時鐵腦袋沒有了，腦袋的地方長出了一個旅店。

It was gradually getting bigger and soon took up my entire mind. Tough mentality had vanished and a motel came up in mind.

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司機這時在公路中央做起了廣播操，他

The driver started doing television broadcast exercise routines in the middle of the highway.

從第一節做到最後一節，做得很認真。

He took it seriously in going through the routine from the first session to the last session.

做完又繞著汽車小跑起來。

After completion he jogged around the vehicle.

司機也許是在駕駛室里呆得太久，現在他需要鍛煉身體了。

It was possible he stayed too long inside the driver』s compartment and needed to get his body in shape.

看著他在外面活動，我在裡面也坐不住，

In watching him getting active outside, I could no longer bear to sit idle inside.

於是，打開車門也跳了下去。

So I opened the car door and jumped down to the ground as well.

但我沒做放手操也沒小跑。

I did not go all out to exercise or jog around.

我在想著旅店和旅店。

All I thought about was motel and motel only.

這個時候我看到坡上有五個騎著自行車下來，

At that time five cyclists came down the slope.

每輛自行車后座上都用一根扁擔綁著兩隻很大的籮筐，

There were two big bamboo baskets tied onto a flat bamboo pole at the backseat of each bicycle.

我想他們大概是附近的農民，大概是賣菜回來。

My guess was they were likely farmers in the neighborhood who came back after selling their vegetables.

看到有人下來，我心裡十分高興，便迎上去喊道：「老鄉，你們好。」

I was very happy to see someone and so I walked up to greet them: 「Fellas how are you?」

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那五個騎到我跟前時跳下了車，

The five people rode right up to me and then jumped down from their bicycles.

我很高興地迎了上去，問：「附近有旅店嗎?」

I walked up to meet them happily and asked: 「Is there any motel nearby?」

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他們沒有回答，而是問我：「車上裝的是什麼?」

They did not answer me but asked me instead: 「What』s the vehicle carrying in its load?」

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我說：「是蘋果。」

I said: 「Apples.」

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他們五人推著自行車走到汽車旁，

Those five people pushed the bicycles right up to the side of the vehicle.

有兩個人爬到了汽車上，接著就翻下來十筐蘋果，

Two people climbed up and threw down ten baskets of apples.

下面三個人把筐蓋掀開往他們自己的筐里倒。

The three people down below open the lids and poured the apples inside their own baskets.

我一時間還不知道發生了什麼，那情景讓我目瞪口呆。

For a moment I was at a loss what was going on but the circumstances shocked me.

我明白過來就沖了上去，責問：「你們要幹什麼?」

After I caught on to what was happening, I rushed up and demanded: 「What』s going on with you people?」

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他們誰也沒理睬我，繼續倒蘋果。

None of them paid any attention to me and continued to pour the apples down.

我上去抓住其中一個人的手喊道：「有人搶蘋果啦!」

I went up and grabbed the arm of one of them and shouted: 「Some people are stealing apples.」

這時有一隻拳頭朝我鼻子上狠狠地揍來了，我被打出幾米遠。

A fist viciously punched me in the nose and dropped me to the ground a few meters away.

爬起來用手一摸，

I struggled up and felt around with my hands.

鼻子軟塌塌地不是貼著而是掛在臉上了，

The nose was hanging softly from my face instead of attaching to it.

鮮血像是傷心的眼淚一樣流。

Blood streamed down like heart-broken tears.

可當我看清打鐵那個身強力壯的大漢時，他們五人已經跨上自行車騎走了。

But when I tried to see clearly what the blacksmith-like brawny guy looked like, the five of them had already jumped on their bicycles and rode away.

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司機此刻正在慢慢地散步，

At that time the driver was strolling around.

嘴唇翻著大口喘氣，

His lips turned slightly upward and he was breathing hard.

他剛才大概跑累了。他好像一點也不知道剛才的事。

Likely he was tired from jogging and it seemed he was not a bit aware of what just happened.

我朝他喊：「你的蘋果被搶走了!」

I shouted to him: 「Someone stole your apples.」

可他根本沒注意我在喊什麼，仍在慢慢地散步。

But he did not pay any attention to what I was shouting and continued to saunter on.

我真想上去揍他一拳，也讓他的鼻子掛起來。

I was really tempted to walk up and punch him in the face so that his nose would also be left hanging.

我跑過去對著他的耳朵大喊：「你的蘋果被搶走了。」

I ran over and shouted loud into his ears: 「Your apples were stolen.」

他這才轉身看了我起來，

Only then he turned around and looked at me.

我發現他的表情越來越高興，我發現他是在看我的鼻子。

I found his expression was getting increasingly amused in looking at my nose.

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這時候，坡上又有很多人騎著自行車下來了，每輛車後都有兩隻大筐，

At that time, many people came down the slope riding on bicycles which had two big baskets at the back of each of them.

騎車的人裡面有一些孩子。

Some of the riders were children.

他們蜂擁而來，又立刻將汽車包圍。好些人跳到汽車上面，

They swarmed around the vehicle and many of them jumped on top of it.

於是裝蘋果的籮筐紛紛而下，蘋果從一些摔破的筐中像我的鼻血一樣流了出來。

Then baskets full of apples tumbled down, and many apples poured out of shattered baskets like the blood flowing from my wounded nose.

他們都發瘋般往自己筐中裝蘋果。

They stuffed the apples into their own baskets like crazy.

才一瞬間工夫，車上的蘋果全到了地下。

In a flash, all the apples in the vehicle were lying on the ground.

那時有幾輛手扶拖拉機從坡上隆隆而下，拖拉機也停在汽車旁，

Suddenly several hand-tractors came down the slope with rumbling sounds and parked beside the vehicle.

跳下一幫大漢開始往拖拉機上裝蘋果，那些空了的籮筐一隻一隻被扔了出去。

A gang of heavyset men placed the apples on the tractors and chucked away the empty baskets.

那時的蘋果已經滿地滾了，所有人都像蛤蟆似地蹲著撿蘋果。

The apples were rolling around all over the ground and people were squatting down like toads to pick them up.

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我是在這個時候奮不顧身撲上去的，我大聲罵著：「強盜!」撲了上去。

I ignored my own safety and charged forward while screaming: 「Thieves!」

於是有無數拳腳前來迎接，我全身每個地方几乎同時挨了揍。

I was greeted by numerous punches and kicks at every inch of my body.

我支撐著從地上爬起來時，幾個孩子朝我擊來蘋果。

When I struggled to crawl up from the ground, I was hit by apples thrown at me by several kids.

蘋果撞在腦袋上碎了，但腦袋沒碎。

The apples smashed into pieces when they landed on my head but my head did not shatter.

我正要撲過去揍那些孩子，有一隻腳狠狠地踢在我腰部。

Just when I was going to run over to punch out those kids, a leg ferociously kicked me at the waist.

我想叫喚一聲，可嘴巴一張卻沒有聲音。

I tried to scream but no noise came out of my mouth.

我跌坐在地上，我再也爬不起來了，

I fell down, sat on the ground and could not get up anymore.

只能看著他們亂搶蘋果。

So I could only watch as they scrambled to grab at those apples.

我開始用眼睛去尋找那司機，

I started to look around for the driver.

這傢伙此刻正站在遠處朝我哈哈大笑，

This fellow stood at a distance and laughed his head off towards my direction.

我便知道現在自己的模樣一定比剛才的鼻子更精彩了。

I knew I looked more ridiculous now than what I just looked with my broken nose.

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那個時候我連憤怒的力氣都沒有了。

At that time I did not even have the strength to get angry.

我只能用眼睛看著這些使我憤怒極頂的一切。我最憤怒的是那個司機。

I could only watch with my eyes at all those things which got me steaming, and the one thing that infuriated me the most was the driver.

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坡上又下來了一些手扶拖拉機和自行車，他們也投入到這場浩劫中去。

Other hand-tractors and bicycles came down the slope to join in this ravaging.

我看到地上的蘋果越來越少，

I saw the apples on the ground were diminishing in number.

看著一些人離去和一些人來到。

I looked on as some people departed and others arrived.

來遲的人開始在汽車上動手，

Some late comers began to work on the automobile.

我看著他們將車窗玻璃卸了下來，將輪胎卸了下來，又將木板橇了下來。

I watched as they took off the glass windows, tires and wooden planks from the vehicle.

輪胎被卸去後的汽車顯得特別垂頭喪氣，它趴在地上。

The vehicle without the tires looked particularly downcast sprawling on the ground.

一些孩子則去撿那些剛才被扔出去的籮筐。

Some kids went to pick up the baskets discarded not too long ago.

我看著地上越來越乾淨，人也越來越少。

I noticed the ground was getting cleaner and the crowd was thinning out.

可我那時只能看著了，因為我連憤怒的力氣都沒有了。

But at that time all I could do was to watch because I didn』t even have the energy to get angry.

我坐在地上爬不起來，

I sat on the ground and was unable to crawl up.

我只能讓目光走來走去。

All I could do was to look around.

現在四周空蕩蕩了，只有一輛手扶拖拉機還停在趴著的汽車旁。

Now the place was pretty much empty except a hand-tractor was still parked by the side of the sprawling vehicle.

有幾個人在汽車旁東瞧西望，是在看看還有什麼東西可以拿走。

Several people beside the vehicle were looking around to see if there was anything they could take away.

看了一陣後才一個一個爬到拖拉機上，於是拖拉機開動了。

After looking around for a little bit, they got up onto the tractor and then it started to move.

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這時我看到那個司機也跳到拖拉機上去了，

At that time I saw the driver jumped onto the tractor as well.

他在車斗里坐下來後還在朝我哈哈大笑。

He sat down at the front and laughed out loud at me.

我看到他手裡抱著的是我那個紅色的背包。

I noticed he was holding my red knapsack.

他把我的背包搶走了。背包里有我的衣服和我的錢，還有食品和書。可他把我的背包搶走了。

He snatched away my knapsack with my clothes, money, food and books inside.

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我看著拖拉機爬上了坡，然後就消失了，但仍能聽到它的聲音，

I saw the tractor climbed up the slope and disappeared, but I could still hear its noise.

可不一會連聲音都沒有了。

But after a short while even the noise was gone.

四周一下了寂靜下來，天也開始黑下來。

All of a sudden everywhere around quieted down and the sky began to get dark.

我仍在地上坐著，我這時又飢又冷，

I was sitting on the ground feeling hungry and cold.

可我現在什麼都沒有了。

But now I had lost everything.

我在那裡坐了很久，然後才慢慢爬起來，

I sat there for a long time and then crawled up slowly.

我爬起來時很艱難，因為每動一下全身就劇烈地疼痛，

It was difficult for me to get up because every move I made triggered excruciating pain all over my body.

但我還是爬了起來。我一拐一拐地走到汽車旁邊。

Yet I managed to get up and limped to the side of the vehicle.

那汽車的模樣真是慘極了，它遍體鱗傷地趴在那裡，

The vehicle looked pathetic and maimed lying there.

我知道自己也是遍體鱗傷了。

I knew I was mutilated as well all over my body.

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天色完全黑了，四周什麼都沒有，只有遍體鱗傷的汽車和遍體鱗傷的我。

The sky was completely dark and there was nothing around except the maimed vehicle and the maimed me.

我無限悲傷地看著汽車，汽車也無限悲傷地看著我。

I looked sadly at the vehicle and the vehicle looked sadly back at me.

我伸出手去撫摸了它。它渾身冰涼。

I reached over and touched it and found it was ice-cold all over its body.

那時候開始起風了，風很大，

The wind began to blow at that time and it was strong.

山上樹葉搖動時的聲音像是海濤的聲音，

Sounds of trembling leaves on the mountain were much like that of tidal waves.

這聲音使我恐懼，使我也像汽車一樣渾身冰涼。

These sounds made me feel frightened and cold like the vehicle.

我打開車門鑽了進去，

I opened the car door and went inside.

座椅沒被他們撬去，這讓我心裡稍稍有了安慰。

The car seats were not pried away by those people and I felt a bit consoled.

我就在駕駛室里躺了下來。我聞到了一股漏出來的汽油味，那氣味像是我身內流出的血液的氣味。

I lay down inside the driver』s compartment and smelled leaked gasoline similar to smell of my blood flowing out from my body.

外面風越來越大，但我躺在座椅上開始感到暖和一點了。

The wind outside was blowing stronger but I felt a bit warmer lying on the seat.

我感到這汽車雖然遍體鱗傷，可它心窩還是健全的，還是暖和的。

Even though the vehicle was wounded, I could sense its heart was intact and warm.

我知道自己的心窩也是暖和的。

I knew my heart was warm as well.

我一直在尋找旅店，沒想到旅店你竟在這裡。

I had been searching for a motel all along and never thought the motel was right here.

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我躺在汽車的心窩裡，想起了那麼一個晴朗溫和的中午，

I lay at the heart of the vehicle, and recalled a sunny and warm afternoon.

那時的陽光非常美麗。我記得自己在外面高高興興地玩了半天，然後我回家了，

Sunlight was very beautiful and I remembered coming home after playing outside happily for half a day.

在窗外看到父親正在屋內整理一個紅色的背包，

From outside the window I saw my father was organizing a red knapsack.

我撲在窗口問：「爸爸，你要出門?」

I leaned on the window and asked: 「Dad, are you taking a long trip?」

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父親轉過身來溫和地說：「不，是讓你出門。」

Dad turned around and said gently: 「No. I am going to let you take a long trip.」

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「讓我出門?」

「You』re letting me take a long trip?」

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「是的，你已經十八了，你應該去認識一下外面的世界了。」

「Yes, you are already eighteen and should go out to learn about the outside world.」

後來我就背起了那個漂亮的紅背包，

Afterwards I put the beautiful red knapsack on my back.

父親在我腦後拍了一下，就像在馬屁股上拍了一下。

Dad patted me at the back of my head, just like patting a horse on the behind.

於是我歡快地衝出了家門，像一匹興高采烈的馬一樣歡快地奔跑了起來。

So I cheerfully rushed out the door and ran like an excited and spirted horse.

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一九八六年十一月十六日北京

November 16th, 1986 in Beijing.