[美劇] 廢柴聯盟/Community 全集第1季第1集劇本完整版

[美劇] 廢柴聯盟/Community 全集第1季第1集劇本完整版

劇本 台詞 字幕 筆記 中英文對照 純英文 學英語 文本 PDF 文檔 電子版 紙質版

長相帥氣的Jeff因偽造大學文憑被吊銷了律師執照.為了能弄到文憑,選擇加入Greendale社區大學.為接近西班牙語課上的冰山美人Britta,Jeff偽造了一個西班牙語學習小組,卻意外的招來了一幫性格各異的組員.

事實證明，這個劇的劇情和風格走向已經遠遠歡脫於之前的「劇情簡介」了……你們感受一下……[展開全文]

長相帥氣的Jeff因偽造大學文憑被吊銷了律師執照.為了能弄到文憑,選擇加入Greendale社區大學.為接近西班牙語課上的冰山美人Britta,Jeff偽造了一個西班牙語學習小組,卻意外的招來了一幫性格各異的組員.

事實證明，這個劇的劇情和風格走向已經遠遠歡脫於之前的「劇情簡介」了……你們感受一下……

【劇本】：

Good morning.

=>早上好。

How do we turn this off? Can you help me turn this off? Uh-oh.

=> 我們如何解決這個問題？你能幫我把這個關掉嗎？嗯，哦。

Uh-oh.

=> 嗯，哦。

Uh-oh.

=> 嗯，哦。

How do we turn this off? Can you help me with this? Oh, thank you.

=> 我們如何解決這個問題？你能幫我嗎？哦謝謝。

Thank you so much.

=> 非常感謝。

I didnt mean to snap.

=> 我不是故意的

Good morning.

=> 早上好。

Many of you are halfway through your first week here at Greendale, and as your dean I thought I would share a few thoughts of wisdom and inspiration.

=> 在Greendale的第一周，你們中的許多人已經過了一半了。作為你們的院長，我想我會分享一些智慧和靈感的想法。

What is community college? Well, youve heard all kinds of things.

=> 什麼是社區學院？那麼，你已經聽說過各種各樣的事情。

Youve heard its loser college for remedial teens, middle-aged divorcees, and old people keeping their minds active as they circle the drain of eternity.

=> 你聽說這個失學的大學是補習青少年，中年離婚者，老年人在永恆的消耗之中保持活躍的心態。

Thats what youve heard.

=> 這就是你所聽到的。

However, I wish you luck.

=> 不過，祝你好運。

Okay, you know Uh-oh.

=> 好吧，你知道哦，哦。

Okay, theres more to this speech.

=> 好的，這個演講還有更多。

Theres actually a middle card that is missing.

=> 實際上有一張中間牌丟失了。

Can we all look around our immediate areas? Because I really wanted to Im only half Arabic, actually.

=> 我們都可以環顧我們的周邊地區嗎？因為我真的很想實際上我只有一半阿拉伯語。

My dad is Palestinian.

=> 我爸是巴勒斯坦人

Hes a U.

=> 他是美國人

S.

=>S.

citizen, hes not a threat to national security or anything.

=> 公民，他不是對國家安全或任何東西的威脅。

Lot of people want to know after they meet him because he has angry energy.

=> 他們遇到他之後很多人都想知道，因為他有生氣的能量。

Not like angry at America, just angry at my mom for leaving.

=> 不像在美國生氣，只是生氣離開我的媽媽。

Although she did leave because he was angry.

=> 雖然她因為生氣而離開了。

And he was angry because shes American.

=> 他生氣，因為她是美國人。

My names Abed, by the way.

=> 順便說一句，我叫Abed。

Abed, nice to know you and then meet you, in that order.

=> Abed，很高興認識你，然後按順序和你見面。

Now about that question that I had? Oh, uh Five after 11 when you asked.

=> 現在我有這個問題了嗎？哦，呃當你問了十一點五之後。

Abed.

=> 床。

Yeah.

=> 是啊。

Whats the deal with the hot girl from Spanish class? I cant find a road in there.

=> 與西班牙語班的熱辣女孩有什麼關係？在那裡我找不到路。

Well, I only talked to her once while she was borrowing a pencil.

=> 好吧，我只是在借一支鉛筆的時候跟她說過話。

Her name is Britta, shes She has two older brothers.

=> 她的名字是Britta，她是她的兩個哥哥。

One works with children who have a disorder I might wanna look up.

=> 一個與我可能想要查找混亂的孩子一起工作。

And she thinks shes gonna flunk tomorrows test.

=> 而且她認為她會在明天的考驗中失利。

So she really needs to focus.

=> 所以她真的需要關注。

And shes sorry if that makes her seem cold.

=> 如果這讓她看起來很冷，她很抱歉。

Holy crap.

=> 哇靠。

Abed, I see your value now.

=> 阿比，我現在看到你的價值。

Thats the nicest thing anyones ever said to me.

=> 這是任何人曾經對我說過的最好的事情。

Absolutely not.

=> 絕對不。

If these guys knew you like I did, they would have given you a small office.

=> 如果這些傢伙知道你喜歡我，他們會給你一個小辦公室。

Jeff Winger, genius at law.

=> 傑夫·溫格，法律天才。

You gotta stop saying that.

=> 你必須停止這樣說。

I will never do that.

=> 我永遠不會那樣做。

Sit down.

=> 坐下。

I still cannot figure out how you got a jury to connect September the 11 th with my DUI, let alone why that helped.

=> 我仍然無法弄清楚你是如何得到一個陪審團來連接9月11日和我的DUI，更不用說為什麼這樣做了。

Well, 2002 was a simpler time.

=> 那麼，2002年是一個更簡單的時間。

So, what is my lawyer doing here? Im a student.

=> 那麼，我的律師在這裡做什麼？我是學生。

Well, that cannot be an inspiring journey.

=> 那麼，這不可能是一個鼓舞人心的旅程。

I am in a bit of a jam.

=> 我有點困難。

The state bar has suspended my license.

=> 國營酒吧已經暫停了我的執照。

They found out my college degree was less than legitimate.

=> 他們發現我的大學學位不合法。

I thought you had a bachelors from Columbia.

=> 我以為你有哥倫比亞大學的學士學位

Now I have to get one from America.

=> 現在我必須從美國得到一個。

Oof.

=> 錢幣。

And it cant be an e-mail attachment.

=> 它不能是電子郵件附件。

Well, youve picked a fine school.

=> 那麼，你選了一所好學校。

Yes.

=> 是。

And Im hoping that our friendship will yield certain advantages.

=> 我希望我們的友誼會產生一定的優勢。

You know, academic guidance.

=> 你知道，學術指導。

Yes.

=> 是。

Moral support.

=> 道義上的支持。

Every answer to every test for every one of the classes that Im taking.

=> 對於每一個我正在參加的課程的每一個測試，每一個答案。

Heres my schedule.

=> 這是我的時間表。

Now, Jeff, just by asking that you have insulted the integrity of this entire institution.

=> 現在，傑夫，只是要求你侮辱了整個機構的完整性。

Oi.

=> 愛。

Waster.

=> 廢品。

Not a bathroom.

=> 不是一個衛生間。

Not a bathroom.

=> 不是一個衛生間。

Okay.

=> 好的。

Duncan, you did seem less into integrity the day that I convinced that when you made that U-turn on the freeway and tried to order chalupas from the emergency call box that your only real crime was loving America.

=> 鄧肯，你確實看起來不那麼誠實了，我相信當你在高速公路上掉頭，試圖從緊急呼叫箱里點出沙魯帕斯時，你唯一真正的犯罪就是愛上了美國。

Well, I do love America.

=> 那麼，我愛美國。

I love it very much.

=> 我非常愛它。

Mm? L I love chalupas.

=> 嗯？ L我愛Chalupas。

But Ill look into it.

=> 但我會研究它。

Thank you.

=> 謝謝。

Duncan, you are a good man.

=> 鄧肯，你是個好人。

Jeff, are you familiar with the adage "Cheaters never prosper"? No.

=> 傑夫，你是否熟悉「騙子永遠不會繁榮」的諺語？沒有。

And if I wanted to learn something, I wouldnt have come to community college.

=> 如果我想學點東西，我就不會來社區學院了。

Oh, hey, Spanish.

=> 哦，嘿，西班牙語。

Yeah, dont hit on me, okay? Uh, I wouldnt dream of it.

=> 是啊，不要打我，好嗎？呃，我不會夢見它。

I just wanted to let you know about my Spanish study group.

=> 我只想讓你知道我的西班牙學習小組。

Oh, whoa, whoa.

=> 哦，哇，哇。

The guy whos playing "Bejeweled" on his iPhone all class has a study group? Can I sign up twice? Im taking the class as an easy credit.

=> 那個在iPhone上玩「寶石迷陣」的傢伙都有一個研究小組？我可以註冊兩次嗎？我正在上課，作為一個簡單的信用。

Im actually a Spanish tutor.

=> 我其實是一個西班牙家庭教師。

Board certified.

=> 認證資格。

Can you say that in Spanish now? I really need help with Spanish.

=> 你現在可以用西班牙語說嗎？我真的需要幫助西班牙語。

Yeah, I was willing to bet.

=> 是的，我願意打賭。

Im Jeff.

=> 我是傑夫。

Or jefe.

=> 或者jefe。

The group meets at the library at 4.

=> 小組在4點在圖書館見面。

Britta.

=> 布麗塔。

Thanks.

=> 謝謝。

Youre gonna be there? That means, "See you there.

=> 你會去嗎？這意味著，「看到你在那裡。

" Shouldnt be too hard to fake a study group, right? Huh? Oh, jeez, Im sorry.

=>「不應該太難以假冒一個學習小組吧，對嗎？呃，呃，對不起。

I was raised on TV, and I was conditioned to believe that every black woman over 50 is a cosmic mentor.

=> 我是在電視上長大的，我有條件地相信每個50歲以上的黑人女性都是宇宙的導師。

Were you conditioned to pay for your damn tacos, Seinfield? Yes.

=> Seinfield，你是否有條件為你的炸玉米餅付錢？是。

Im so sorry.

=> 我很抱歉。

Its "Seinfeld.

=> 這是「Seinfeld。

" Hey, all right, come on in.

=>「嘿，好吧，進來吧。

Ive got the whole table.

=> 我有整桌子。

Welcome.

=> 歡迎。

Yeah, the whole room.

=> 是的，整個房間。

Heres the contact sheet.

=> 這是聯繫表。

Just put your stuff there.

=> 把你的東西放在那裡。

Thats Man, the rest of the group is running late.

=> 那是男人，其他人都遲到了。

But you and I can get acquainted.

=> 但是你和我可以相識。

You may have noticed this morning, not so good at the small talk.

=> 今天早上你可能已經注意到了，不太擅長閑聊。

Yeah, I like big talk.

=> 是的，我喜歡大談。

Whats your deal? Thats not small talk? Whats your deal and is God dead? All right, you wanna know my deal? Mm.

=> 你的交易是什麼？那不是小談話？你的交易是什麼，上帝已經死了？好，你想知道我的交易？毫米。

I dropped out of high school because I thought for some reason it would impress Radiohead.

=> 我輟學了，因為我認為這會給Radiohead留下深刻的印象。

Youd be surprised what gets back to those guys.

=> 你會很驚訝什麼回到那些傢伙。

I joined the Peace Corps.

=> 我加入了和平隊。

I did a little foot modeling.

=> 我做了一個小腳模型。

Ha.

=>哈。

And I guess, Jeff, my deal is, above all else, honesty.

=> 我猜，傑夫，我的交易首先是誠實。

Honesty.

=> 誠實。

Yeah.

=> 是啊。

You tell me the truth, I will like you.

=> 你說實話，我會喜歡你的。

You lie to me, I will never talk to you again.

=> 你騙我，我永遠不會再和你說話。

Thats my deal.

=> 這是我的交易。

Thats a good deal.

=> 這是一個很好的交易。

So, whats your deal? Uh I would have to go I would have to say, um, honesty.

=> 那麼，你的交易是什麼？呃我得走了，我不得不說，呃，誠實。

Because I would say anything to get what I want, and I want you to like me.

=> 因為我會說什麼來得到我想要的，我希望你喜歡我。

So Well, thats a very honest answer.

=> 那麼，這是一個非常誠實的答案。

All right, for now, I like you fine.

=> 好吧，現在，我喜歡你。

Really? Wow.

=> 真？哇。

Youre easy.

=> 你很容易。

Hell, yeah.

=> 該死，是的

Abed.

=> 床。

In the house.

=> 在房子里。

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo.

=> 喔！喔！喔！喔！喔。

Why? Britta invited me.

=> 為什麼？ Britta邀請我。

Is that cool? Oh, I cant think of a single logical reason why not.

=> 這很酷嗎？哦，我想不出一個合乎邏輯的理由。

Cool.

=> 涼。

There you go.

=> 你走了

Oh, hey, here.

=> 哦，嘿，在這裡。

Put your contact info down right there.

=> 把你的聯繫信息放在那裡。

Thats right.

=> 那就對了。

Cool, cool, cool.

=> 酷，酷，酷。

Cool, cool, cool.

=> 酷，酷，酷。

Hey, this is kind of like Breakfast Club, huh? We are in a library.

=> 嘿，這有點像早餐會，對吧？我們在圖書館。

Yeah.

=> 是啊。

Im sure weve each got an issue balled up inside that would make us cry if we talked about it.

=> 我敢肯定，我們每個人都有一個問題，如果我們談到這個問題，就會讓我們哭泣。

Do you have something balled up inside you? Oh, I got a little doozy in the chamber if things get emotional.

=> 你有什麼東西在你裡面？哦，如果事情變得情緒激動，我在會議廳里有一點點蠢。

Hey, text message.

=> 嘿，簡訊。

Lets give this bad boy a read.

=> 讓我們給這個壞男孩一個讀。

Its probably just for you.

=> 這可能只是為了你。

Ive never gotten one of these.

=> 我從來沒有得到過其中之一。

Uh, its probably You just Its just for your eyes.

=> 呃，這可能只是你的眼睛。

"Say you have to pee.

=> 「說你必須小便。

I need to talk to you.

=> 我要跟你說話。

" "Say you have to pee.

=>「」說你得撒尿。

" That is weird.

=>「這很奇怪。

"Say you have to pee.

=> 「說你必須小便。

" Yeah.

=>「是的。

Do you have to pee? No.

=> 你需要撒尿嗎？沒有。

Thats so weird.

=> 太奇怪了

Well, Im stumped.

=> 那麼，我很難過。

Thats very creepy.

=> 這很令人毛骨悚然。

That makes two of us.

=> 這使得我們兩個。

Whats that? Does it say you have to pee? No, its just someone with a misguided grasp of abbreviation.

=> 那是什麼？它說你必須撒尿嗎？不，這只是一個誤導了縮寫的人。

I just need five minutes, you guys.

=> 我只需要五分鐘，你們。

So go ahead and study all the verbs in Spanish.

=> 所以，繼續學習西班牙語的所有動詞。

Abed, whats your read on that guy? Yeah.

=> 阿比，你在那個傢伙上讀到了什麼？是啊。

You look like Elizabeth Shue.

=> 你看起來像伊麗莎白·舒爾。

Just act natural, pretend youre watching the athletic proceedings.

=> 只要自然，假裝你正在看運動程序。

You couldnt stop me from watching them.

=> 你無法阻止我看他們。

Theres a guy trying out for track that is older than the game of poker.

=> 有一個人嘗試比撲克遊戲更古老的賽道。

Hes kind of trucking.

=> 他是卡車運輸。

Suppose I was to say to you it was possible to get those test answers.

=> 假設我要對你說，有可能得到這些測試答案。

I would say go for that.

=> 我會說去那個。

And could have said so in a text.

=> 本來可以這樣說的。

Im asking if you know the difference between right and wrong.

=> 我問你是否知道對與錯的區別。

I discovered at a very early age that if I talked long enough, I could make anything right or wrong.

=> 我很小的時候就發現，如果我說得夠長的話，我可以做出任何對或錯的事情。

So either Im God or truth is relative, and in either case, booyah.

=> 所以無論我是上帝還是真相都是相對的。

Oh.

=> 哦。

Interesting.

=> 有趣。

Its just, the average person has a much harder time saying booyah to moral relativism.

=> 只是，普通人說道德相對主義更難。

Duncan, you dont have to play shrink to protect your pride.

=> 鄧肯，你不必縮小以保護你的自尊心。

I accept youre chicken.

=> 我接受你是雞。

You trying to use reverse psychology on a psychologist? No, Im just using regular psychology on a spineless British twit.

=> 你試圖對心理學家使用逆向心理學？不，我只是使用普通的心理學對一個沒有骨氣的英國人來說。

Im a professor.

=> 我是教授

You cant talk to me that way.

=> 你不能這樣跟我說話。

A 6-year-old girl could.

=> 一個6歲的女孩可以。

Yes, because that would be adorable.

=> 是的，因為這將是可愛的。

No, because youre a 5-year-old girl, and theres a pecking order.

=> 不，因為你是一個5歲的女孩，而且有一個啄食順序。

Fine, Ill do it.

=> 好的，我會做的。

Thank you.

=> 謝謝。

Yeah, with pleasure.

=> 是的，很高興。

Bye.

=> 再見。

Yes, good.

=> 對很好。

Why am I still shouting? Im drawing attention to myself.

=> 我為什麼還在喊？我正在關注自己。

You guys arent going to believe this but the rest of the group is here.

=> 你們不會相信這個，但其他人都在這裡。

Are you the board-certified tutor? That means you do my homework, right, Seacrest? I need to call my babysitter if we gonna be late.

=> 你是董事會認證的導師？那意味著你做我的作業，對吧，西克雷斯特？如果我們遲到，我需要打電話給我的保姆。

What board certifies a tutor? Wheres Britta? Not sure.

=> 什麼董事會認證導師？ Britta在哪裡？不確定。

I invited people from Spanish class.

=> 我邀請了西班牙語班的人。

Is that cool? Its the coolest.

=> 這很酷嗎？這是最酷的。

Im gonna go to the bathroom.

=> 我要去洗手間。

And bring my jacket, wallet and keys with me in case theres a fire.

=> 把我的外套，錢包和鑰匙帶來，以防萬一。

Should we go with him? Gonna leave my homework with Slumdog Millionaire.

=> 我們應該和他一起去嗎？要離開我的作業與貧民窟的百萬富翁。

Thats borderline racist.

=> 這是種族主義的邊緣。

And busted.

=> 和破壞。

Listen Now you know.

=> 現在聽你知道。

Im a smoker.

=> 我是一個吸煙者。

Yeah, but theyre filtered, so that makes them safe.

=> 是的，但是他們被過濾了，所以這使他們安全。

You ready to get started? Looks like your group showed up.

=> 你準備好開始了嗎？看起來你的小組出現了。

Not mine.

=> 不是我的。

I think Abed took out a page on Craigslist.

=> 我認為Abed在Craigslist上找到了一個頁面。

And I was trained never to say this, but I think that group may be untutorable.

=> 而我受過訓練永遠不會說這個，但我認為這個團體可能是不可信的。

Oh, really? Why dont you and I go study over Dinner? Or drinks.

=> 真的嗎？你為什麼不去學習晚餐？或飲料。

I think, actually, we should prioritize here and study first and then go to dinner.

=> 我想其實我們應該在這裡優先考慮，先學習，然後去吃晚飯。

And if they really prove to be untutorable, well slip out early.

=> 如果他們真的被證明是不可信的，我們就會早早溜出去。

Oh, they will be untutorable.

=> 哦，他們將是不可饒恕的。

All right.

=> 好吧。

Look at this crew.

=> 看看這個船員。

All ready to study all night.

=> 準備好整夜研究。

I can stay at least till 10.

=> 我可以停留至少10年。

But who studies with strangers, right? My name is Jeff.

=> 但是，誰與陌生人研究，對不對？我的名字叫傑夫。

Jeff, its a pleasure.

=> 傑夫，很高興。

My name is Pierce Hawthorne.

=> 我叫皮爾斯·霍桑。

And, yes, that is Hawthorne as in Hawthorne Wipes the award-winning moist towelette.

=> 而且，是的，就像霍桑一樣，霍桑擦拭了屢獲殊榮的濕毛巾。

I was just gonna ask.

=> 我只是要問。

Im a Toastmaster.

=> 我是一個Toastmaster。

I should do the introductions.

=> 我應該做介紹。

Definitely.

=> 當然。

You know Brittles.

=> 你知道布列特。

Britta.

=> 布麗塔。

Abed.

=> 床。

Abed the Arab.

=> 殺了阿拉伯人

Is that inappropriate? Sure.

=> 那是不合適的？當然。

Roy, Roy, the wonder boy Troy.

=> 羅伊，羅伊，奇蹟小子特洛伊。

Little princess Elizabeth Annie.

=> 小公主伊麗莎白安妮。

And, finally, this beautiful creature is named Shirley.

=> 最後，這個美麗的生物被命名為雪莉。

Is that even close? Id like to know why I had to find out about this group on accident.

=> 這是甚麼接近？我想知道為什麼我不得不在事故中找出這個小組。

Way more like Breakfast Club now.

=> 現在更像早餐俱樂部。

Theres breakfast? We should get started Ive been a part of study groups that fell apart because of unresolved tension.

=> 有早餐嗎？我們應該開始我一直是研究小組的一部分，由於沒有得到解決的緊張局勢而分崩離析。

If anything, your age indicates that youve made bad life decisions.

=>如果有的話，你的年齡表明你做出了糟糕的人生決定。

Shirley has a response to that.

=> 雪莉對此有回應。

No, no, no.

=> 不不不。

I dont.

=> 我不。

It looks like you do.

=> 它看起來像你。

Shirley, go ahead.

=> 雪莉，走吧。

Okay, okay.

=> 好吧好吧。

Im sure Ive made some bad life decisions.

=> 我確定我做了一些糟糕的人生決定。

And maybe Annies decisions will be better.

=> 也許安妮的決定會更好。

I think she needs to decide whether she wants to be considered a child or an adult, because children get pity, but not respect, and adults, they get respect.

=> 我認為她需要決定她是想成為一個孩子還是成年人，因為孩子會得到憐憫，但不尊重，而成年人，他們會得到尊重。

They also get their head grabbed and pushed through jukeboxes.

=> 他們還抓住了他們的頭，並推動自動點唱機。

Okay.

=> 好的。

Why dont we try learning "jukebox" in Spanish? What are you doing? Pierce.

=> 我們為什麼不嘗試用西班牙語學習「點唱機」？你在做什麼？刺穿。

Lets discuss this creepiness.

=> 我們來討論一下這個蠕變。

Pardon you? What are you doing? Im certified.

=> 對不起你在做什麼？我有認證

Are you unaware that Shirley finds your advances inappropriate? What advances? You have been sexually harassing me since the very first day of class.

=> 你不知道雪莉發現你的進步不合適嗎？有什麼進展？自從上課的第一天起，你就一直在性騷擾我。

Sexually harassing? What? That makes no sense to me.

=> 性騷擾？什麼？這對我來說沒有意義。

Why would I harass somebody who turns me on? Saying she turns you on is the harassment, dude.

=> 為什麼我會騷擾一個讓我打擾的人？說她打擾你是騷擾，夥計。

Hey.

=> 嘿。

I am a prominent business leader and a highly sought-after dinner guest.

=> 我是一位傑出的商業領袖，也是備受歡迎的晚餐客人。

And I will not take courting advice from some teenage boy.

=> 而且我不會接受一些十幾歲的男孩的求愛的建議。

Well, this teenage boy is a quarterback and a prom king.

=> 那麼，這個十幾歲的男孩是一個四分衛和舞會王。

Youre not prom king anymore, Troy.

=> 你已經不再是王牌了，特洛伊。

This isnt Riverside High.

=> 這不是河濱高。

Howd you know I went there? Because youre still wearing your stupid letter jacket, and, more importantly, I sat behind you in Algebra.

=> 你怎麼知道我去的？因為你還穿著你那件愚蠢的信夾克，更重要的是，我坐在你身後的代數學。

Were you that girl got hooked on pills and dropped out? Youre little Annie Adderall.

=> 你是那個女孩迷上藥丸而退學的？你是小安妮·阿德拉爾。

And youre a stupid jock who lost scholarship by dislocating both shoulders in a keg stand.

=> 而你是一個愚蠢的運動員，他在桶中失去了肩膀，失去了獎學金。

Keg flip.

=> 小桶翻轉。

Theyre very hard to pull off.

=> 他們很難取消。

Dont talk to me.

=> 不要跟我說話。

You dont know Im a legend.

=> 你不知道我是個傳奇。

You know what I got for Christmas? It was a banner year at the Bender family.

=> 你知道我為聖誕節得到了什麼？這是本德家族的一年。

I got a carton of cigarettes.

=> 我拿了一盒香煙。

The old man grabbed me.

=> 老人抓住我。

He said, "Hey, smoke up, Johnny.

=> 他說，「嘿，吸煙，約翰尼。

" No, Dad, what about you? Well, that actually was from The Breakfast Club.

=>「不，爸爸，你呢？呃，那實際上是從早餐俱樂部。

Nobody puts Baby in the corner.

=> 沒有人把寶貝放在角落裡。

Dirty Dancing.

=> 貼面舞。

Hello? Its Professor Duncan.

=> 你好？這是鄧肯教授。

Come to the parking lot now.

=> 現在來到停車場。

Whats wrong with your voice? Im disguising it.

=> 你的聲音有什麼問題？我在偽裝

Ill be right back.

=> 我馬上回來。

But while Im gone, you guys need to hash this stuff out.

=> 但是，當我走了，你們需要把這些東西打散出去。

No stone unturned.

=> 沒有想不到的。

Go.

=> 走。

Get in the car.

=> 上車。

Act as if weve either just finished or are yet to begin driving.

=> 就好像我們剛剛完成或尚未開始駕駛。

Every answer to every test in your curriculum this semester.

=> 本學期你的課程每一個測試的答案。

I knew you could do it, buddy.

=> 我知道你可以做，哥們。

Thank you.

=> 謝謝。

Whoa, there, grabby grabby.

=> 哇，那裡，搶劫。

What do I get? The satisfaction of being even.

=> 我能得到什麼？平靜的滿足。

Even, fairness, right, wrong.

=> 即使是公平，對，錯。

There is no God.

=> 沒有上帝。

Booyah, booyah.

=> Booyah，booyah。

What do you want from me? Your Lexus.

=> 你想從我這裡得到什麼？你的雷克薩斯

My car for a semesters worth of answers? Will it be just a semester, though, Jeff? Wont you be taking the easy way out for the next four years? I want payment in advance.

=> 我的車一個學期的值得回答？傑夫，會不會只是一個學期？你會不會在接下來的四年中輕鬆出路？我要提前付款。

I want leather seats with built-in ball warmers.

=> 我想要真皮座椅，內置球暖器。

You know, bluffs this weak are how your people lost the colonies.

=> 你知道，虛張聲勢是你的人民失去了殖民地。

Have a nice disbarment hearing.

=> 有一個很好的拒絕聽證會。

What am I supposed to drive? Take this car.

=> 我該開什麼車？把這輛車。

Its good for the earth.

=> 這對地球是有益的。

So is wiping your butt with a leaf but its not how a man gets around.

=> 所以用一片葉子擦你的屁股，但這不是一個人如何繞過。

Golf cart.

=> 高爾夫車。

It is a disaster in there.

=> 那是一場災難。

Yeah.

=> 是啊。

Untutorable.

=> Untutorable。

Do you like Thai food? I love Thai food.

=> 你喜歡泰國菜嗎？我愛泰國食物。

Wait.

=> 等待。

So this is a game to you? You put human beings into a state of emotional shambles for a shot at getting in my pants? Why cant you see that for the compliment that it is? Okay, okay, okay.

=> 所以這對你來說是一個遊戲？你把人類置於一種情緒上的混亂狀態，以便讓我的褲子里有一槍？你為什麼不能看到這是恭維？好的，好的，好的。

Im sorry.

=> 對不起。

It was an accident.

=> 這是一個意外。

I did a little bit of lying to get close to you.

=> 我做了一些謊言來接近你。

But how was I supposed to know that you were smart and cool.

=> 但是我怎麼知道你很聰明，很酷。

You look like Elizabeth Shue.

=> 你看起來像伊麗莎白·舒爾。

Youre unbelievable.

=> 你真不可思議

What do you want me to do? Maybe one decent thing could be to go in there and clean up your mess.

=> 你想要我做什麼？也許一個體面的事情可能是去那裡清理你的爛攤子。

Okay, if I do that, then dinner, right? Yeah, fine, whatever.

=> 好的，如果我這樣做，那麼晚餐，對吧？好的，無論如何。

As if theres a dinner on earth that could make me forget you are a shallow douche bag.

=> 彷彿有一個地球上的晚餐，可以讓我忘記你是一個淺的沖洗袋。

Oh, youre gonna eat those words when you see my new car.

=> 哦，當你看到我的新車時，你會吃這些話。

All right, everybody.

=> 好吧，大家。

I wanna say something.

=> 我想說點什麼

Sit down.

=> 坐下。

Well, you dont have to yell.

=> 那麼，你不必嚷嚷。

I dont appreciate your tone.

=> 我不欣賞你的語氣。

What makes humans different from other animals? Feet.

=> 是什麼讓人類與其他動物不同？腳。

No, no.

=> 不，不。

Come on, bears have feet.

=> 來吧，熊有腳。

Were the only species on earth that observes "Shark Week.

=> 我們是世界上唯一一個觀察「鯊魚周」的物種。

" Sharks dont even observe "Shark Week," but we do.

=>「鯊魚甚至不遵守」鯊魚周「，但我們這樣做。

For the same reason I can pick up this pencil, tell you its name is Steve and go like this.

=> 出於同樣的原因，我可以拿起這支鉛筆，告訴你它的名字是史蒂夫，走這樣的。

Oh.

=> 哦。

And part of you dies just a little bit on the inside.

=> 而你的一部分在內部只有一點點死亡。

Because people can connect with anything.

=> 因為人們可以連接任何東西。

We can sympathize with a pencil, we can forgive a shark, and we can give Ben Affleck an Academy Award for screenwriting.

=> 我們可以同情鉛筆，我們可以原諒鯊魚，我們可以給本·阿弗萊克奧斯卡獎編劇。

Big mistake.

=> 大錯。

People can find the good in just about anything but themselves.

=> 人們可以在除了自己以外的任何事物中找到好處。

Look at me.

=> 看著我。

Its clear to all of you that I am awesome.

=> 所有人都清楚我很棒。

But I could never admit that.

=> 但我永遠不能承認這一點。

That would make me an ass.

=> 這會讓我成為一個屁股。

But what I can do is see what makes Annie awesome.

=> 但是我能做的是看看讓Annie變得如此美好。

Shes driven.

=> 她被驅使。

We need driven people or the lights go out and the ice cream melts.

=> 我們需要驅趕人或燈光熄滅，冰淇淋融化。

And Pierce, we need guys like Pierce.

=> 而皮爾斯，我們需要皮爾斯這樣的人。

This guy has wisdom to offer.

=> 這傢伙有智慧提供。

The Dalai Lama and l We should listen to him some time.

=> 達賴喇嘛和我們應該聽他的話。

We wouldnt regret it.

=> 我們不會後悔的。

And Shirley, Shirley has earned our respect.

=> 雪莉，雪莉贏得了我們的尊重。

Dont test her on that, because that thing about the jukebox was too specific to be improvised.

=>不要考慮她，因為關於自動唱片點唱機的事情太具體，不能即興發揮。

And Troy.

=> 還有特洛伊。

Who cares if Troy thinks hes all that? Maybe he is.

=> 誰在乎，特洛伊是不是認為他就是這樣？也許他是。

You think astronauts go to the moon because they hate oxygen? No, theyre trying to impress their high schools prom king.

=> 你認為宇航員因為厭惡氧氣而去月球嗎？不，他們試圖打動他們高中的舞會王。

And Abed.

=> 和Abed。

Abeds a shaman.

=> 阿比德是個巫師。

You ask him to pass the salt, he gives you a bowl of soup.

=> 你問他通過鹽，他給你一碗湯。

Because you know what, soup is better.

=> 因為你知道什麼，湯更好。

Abed is better.

=> Abed更好。

You are all better than you think you are.

=> 你們都比你們想像的要好。

You are designed not to believe it when you hear it from yourself.

=> 當你從自己聽到的時候，你被設計為不相信它。

Soup? I want you to look to the person to your left.

=> 湯？我想讓你看看你左邊的那個人。

Sorry.

=> 抱歉。

Look at the person sitting next to you.

=> 看看坐在你旁邊的那個人。

Look at her.

=> 看著她。

Okay.

=> 好的。

This? Yeah.

=> 這個？是啊。

I want you to extend to that person the same compassion you extend to sharks, pencils and Ben Affleck.

=> 我希望你能把這種同情延伸到鯊魚，鉛筆和本·阿弗萊克身上。

I want you to say to that person, "I forgive you.

=> 我想讓你對那個人說：「我原諒你。

" I forgive you.

=>「 我原諒你。

I forgive you.

=> 我原諒你。

I forgive you.

=> 我原諒你。

You little twerp.

=> 你很少twerp。

Pierce, Id like you to say, "I forgive you.

=> 皮爾斯，我想請你說，「我原諒你。

" He didnt say it? I forgive you.

=>「他沒有說呢，我原諒你。

Youve just stopped being a study group.

=> 你剛剛停止成為一個研究小組。

You have become something unstoppable.

=> 你已經成為不可阻擋的東西。

I hereby pronounce you a community.

=> 我在此宣布你是一個社區。

Oh, thats nice.

=> 哦，那很好。

I like that.

=> 我喜歡。

This isnt like Breakfast Club anymore.

=> 這不像早餐俱樂部了。

Its Stripes or Meatballs.

=> 這是條紋或肉丸。

Anything with Bill Murray.

=> 任何與比爾·默里的事情。

I agree with Abed that tonight has been very special.

=> 我同意阿比的說法，今晚非常特別。

And now, if youll excuse me, I have a dinner engagement with Britta.

=> 現在，如果你不能請我，我和Britta有個晚餐。

Britta? I lied.

=> 布麗塔？我撒了謊。

Thanks for calming everyone down.

=> 感謝大家平靜下來。

But since youre not a Spanish tutor, just a lying creep who purposely upset everyone in an attempt to get with me.

=> 但是既然你不是西班牙家庭教師，只是故意讓每個人都心煩意亂，試圖跟我走。

Id appreciate it if you left and stopped wasting all of our time.

=> 如果你離開，我會很感激，不要浪費我們所有的時間。

Everybody ready? Fine.

=> 大家準備好了嗎？精細。

And Im happy to report that one of the benefits of being a lying creep is having all the answers to tomorrows test.

=> 我很高興地向大家報告說，一個謊言蠕蟲的好處之一就是對未來測試的所有答案。

And Im happy to share them with anyone whose time I wasted more than they wasted mine.

=> 我很樂意和那些浪費時間的人分享，而不是浪費我的時間。

Jeff, if you have all the answers, why the hell did you start this group? I dont have a study group.

=> 傑夫，如果你有所有的答案，你為什麼開始這個組？我沒有一個研究小組。

I made it up.

=> 我做了。

What about the speech? Made it up.

=> 那演講怎麼樣？做成了。

Thats what I do.

=> 我就是做這個的。

I make things up.

=> 我做事。

And I got paid a lot of money to do it.

=> 而且我付了很多錢來做這件事。

Before I came to this school-shaped toilet, I was a lawyer.

=> 在我來到這個學校形狀的廁所之前，我是一名律師。

Oh, man, this ruins everything.

=> 哦，夥計，這一切都毀了。

I thought you were like Bill Murray in his films.

=> 我以為你就像他的電影里的比爾·默里。

But youre more like Michael Douglas in his films.

=> 但是你更像他的電影里的邁克爾道格拉斯。

Yeah? Well, you have Aspergers.

=> 是嗎？那麼，你有阿斯伯格的。

What does that mean? Ha, ha.

=> 那是什麼意思？哈哈。

Ass burger.

=> 驢漢堡。

Its a serious disorder.

=> 這是一個嚴重的混亂。

It really is.

=> 它確實是。

If its so serious, why dont they call it meningitis? Heh, heh.

=> 如果真的這麼嚴重，他們為什麼不把它稱為腦膜炎呢？呃，呃。

Yeah.

=> 是啊。

Heh, heh.

=> 呃，呃。

Ass burger.

=> 驢漢堡。

Burger for your ass.

=> 漢堡為您的屁股。

Jeffrey, before you say anything, you might want to think about the gift youve been given.

=> 傑弗里，在你說什麼之前，你可能要考慮一下你所得到的禮物。

An excuse to punch a hippy? No.

=> 打一個嬉皮士的借口？沒有。

No, not that.

=> 不，不是。

An important lesson, my friend.

=> 一個重要的教訓，我的朋友。

You see, the tools you acquired to survive out there will not help you here at Greendale.

=> 你看，你獲得的工具在Greendale不會幫助你。

What you have, my friend, is a second chance at an honest life.

=> 我的朋友，你有一個誠實的生活第二次機會。

Why are people trying to teach me things at a school that has an express tuition aisle? Give me my keys.

=> 為什麼人們想在有明確學費的學校里教授我的東西？給我我的鑰匙。

No, I have to keep your car for the lesson.

=> 不，我必須保留你的車上課。

Dont hit me.

=> 不要打我

Please dont hit me.

=> 請不要打我。

Jeffrey? Jeffrey? Are we cool? Are we cool? We cool.

=> 傑弗里？傑弗里？我們很酷嗎？我們很酷嗎？我們很酷。

I like you, Jeffrey.

=> 我喜歡你，傑弗里。

You remind me of myself at your age.

=> 你在這個年紀讓你想起我自己。

I deserve that.

=> 我應得的。

You know Ive been divorced seven times? Sometimes I think Im doing something wrong.

=> 你知道我已經離婚七次了嗎？有時候我覺得我做錯了什麼。

You keep getting married.

=> 你繼續結婚。

I never looked at it that way.

=> 我從來沒有這樣看過。

Shouldnt you guys be studying? Yeah, things got kind of boring after you left.

=> 你們不是應該學習嗎？是的，離開後，事情變得無聊了。

Let me ask you something.

=> 讓我問你一件事。

People have been clowning me about this jacket since I got here.

=> 自從我來到這裡以後，人們一直在關注這件夾克。

But, if I take it off to make them happy, that just makes me weak, right? Listen, it doesnt matter.

=> 但是，如果我把它拿下來讓他們開心，那隻會讓我虛弱，對吧？聽著，沒關係。

You lose the jacket to please them, you keep it to piss them off.

=> 你為了取悅他們而失去了這件夾克，你要把它弄掉。

Either way, its for them.

=> 無論哪種方式，都是為了他們。

Thats whats weak.

=> 這就是弱點。

Whoa.

=> 哇。

You just wrinkled my brain, man.

=> 你剛剛皺起了我的腦袋，男人。

Hes good, isnt he? Hes real good.

=> 他很好，不是嗎？他真的很好。

Shouldnt you be rolling around on a bed covered in test answers? I dont have any of the answers.

=> 你不應該在測試答案的床上滾動嗎？我沒有任何答案。

Im gonna flunk the test.

=> 我會放棄測試。

If you just, like, study for an hour, its not that hard.

=> 如果你只是學習一個小時，那也不難。

You seem pretty smart.

=> 你似乎很聰明。

You got a sports coat.

=> 你有一件運動外套。

Well, the funny thing about being smart is you can get through most of life without having to do work.

=> 那麼，聰明的有趣之處在於，你可以在不需要工作的情況下度過大部分的生活。

So Im not really sure how to do that.

=> 所以我不確定如何做到這一點。

Please? So sad? He makes me wanna Whats going on? Can you guys hear me? Am I deaf? Can you hear me talking right now? Yes.

=> 請？好難過？他讓我想要發生什麼事？你們能聽到我嗎？我聾了嗎？你能聽到我說話嗎？是。

Thats good.

=> 那很好。

You know what, Jeff, actually, we didnt get that far without you.

=> 你知道嗎，傑夫，其實，沒有你，我們沒有那麼遠。

So if you wanna come back upstairs Really? Well, it is your study group, so Come on, lets study.

=> 所以如果你想回到樓上真的嗎？那麼這是你的學習小組，那麼來吧，讓我們學習吧。

Sounds good.

=> 聽起來不錯。

Come on.

=> 來吧。

Pressure.

=> 壓力。

Im sorry I called you Michael Douglas.

=> 對不起，我叫你邁克爾·道格拉斯。

And I see your value now.

=> 我現在看到你的價值。

Thats the nicest thing anyones ever said to me.

=> 這是任何人曾經對我說過的最好的事情。