[美劇] 南方公園/South Park 全集第1季第1集劇本完整版

03-02

劇本台詞字幕筆記中英文對照純英文學英語文本 PDF 文檔電子版紙質版

南方公園是一部系列喜劇，圍繞著4個住在南方公園中的科羅拉多鎮里的小男孩們展開，他們經常被一些突發事件所困擾。本劇是由Trey Parker和Matt Stone所創造的稱為《聖誕節精靈》的短片發展而來。

南方公園的小孩在看了一部加拿大的喜劇片後滿口髒話，引起父母的大力反彈，除了反對這部喜劇之外，還里一步逮捕主演這部喜劇的主角狼兄狗弟，此舉引起美加之間一發不可收拾的戰爭，戰況越演越烈，[展開全文]

南方公園的小孩在看了一部加拿大的喜劇片後滿口髒話，引起父母的大力反彈，除了反對這部喜劇之外，還里一步逮捕主演這部喜劇的主角狼兄狗弟，此舉引起美加之間一發不可收拾的戰爭，戰況越演越烈，連陰曹地府的撒旦都被驚動了，南方公園的孩子們要如何阻止這一場禍事呢……

【劇本】：

Cartman Gets an Anal Probe Damn it! My little brothers trying to follow me to school again.

=>卡特曼得到一個肛門探針該死的！我的小弟弟正試圖跟著我再次上學。

Ike, you cant come to school with me.

=> 艾克，你不能跟我上學。

- Go home, you little dildo.

=> - 回家吧，你小假陽具

- Dude, dont call my brother a dildo.

=> 老兄，不要叫我的兄弟是一個假陽具。

- Whats a dildo? - I dont know.

=> - 什麼是假陽具？ - 我不知道。

- Cartman doesnt know either.

=> Cartman也不知道。

- I know what it is! - Well, what? - Im not telling you.

=> - 我知道它是什麼！ - 呃，什麼？ - 我不是在告訴你

Whats a dildo, Kenny? Yeah, thats what Kyles little brother is, all right.

=> 肯尼，什麼是假陽具？是的，這就是凱爾的小弟弟，好吧。

- That kicks ass.

=> - 踢屁股

- Check this one out.

=> - 檢查一下。

- Ready, Ike? Kick the baby.

=> - 準備好了，艾克？踢嬰兒。

- Dont kick the baby.

=> - 不要踢嬰兒。

Kick the baby.

=> 踢嬰兒。

Looks like you didnt get much sleep.

=> 看起來你睡不著覺。

- I had these bogus nightmares.

=> - 我有這些虛假的惡夢。

- Really? What about? Well, I dreamt that I was lying in my bed, in the dark when all of a sudden, this bright blue light filled the room.

=> - 真的嗎？關於什麼？好吧，我夢見我躺在我的床上，在黑暗中突然間，這明亮的藍色光芒充滿了房間。

And slowly my bedroom door opened.

=> 慢慢地，我的卧室門打開了。

The next thing I remember I was being dragged through a hallway.

=> 我記得我接下來的事情是被拖過走廊。

Then I was on a table, and these scary aliens wanted to operate on me.

=> 然後我在桌上，這些可怕的外星人想要操作我。

And they had big heads and black eyes.

=> 他們有大頭和黑眼睛。

- Dude, visitors! - What? - Those were visitors.

=> - 夥計，遊客！ - 什麼？那些是遊客

- It was just a dream.

=> - 這只是一個夢想。

My mom said so.

=> 我媽媽這麼說

- Theyre are real.

=> - 他們是真實的

- They abduct people and mutilate cows.

=> - 他們綁架人員和毀壞奶牛。

Shut up.

=> 閉嘴。

Youre trying to scare me, and its not working.

=> 你試圖嚇唬我，而且它不工作。

- Hello, children.

=> - 你們好孩子們。

- Hey, Chef.

=> - 嘿，廚師

- Whats for lunch today? - Salisbury steak with buttered noodles.

=> - 今天午餐吃什麼？ - 帶黃油麵條的索爾茲伯里牛排。

- Bean casserole or vegetable medley.

=> - 砂鍋菜或蔬菜混合菜

- Kick ass.

=> - 踢屁股。

Did any of you see the alien spaceship last night? Yeah, fat boy saw it.

=> 你們昨天有沒有看到外星飛船？是的，胖男孩看到了。

That was just a dream.

=> 那只是一個夢想。

And Im not fat, Im big-boned! Was it the ones with the big heads and black eyes? - They took him on their ship.

=> 而且我不胖，我骨子裡大！是那個大頭和黑眼睛的人嗎？他們把他帶到船上

- Did they give you an anal probe? Whats that? Thats when they put a metal hoop up your butt.

=> - 他們給你一個肛門探針嗎？那是什麼？那就是當他們把金屬箍放在你的屁股上的時候。

- They gave you an anal probe, Cartman? - No! I mean, why would they do that? They did, huh? Aliens stuck stuff up your ass! - Anal probe.

=> - 他們給了你一個肛門探針，Cartman？ - 不！我的意思是，他們為什麼要那樣做？他們做到了，嗯？外星人把東西塞進你的屁股！ - 肛門探針。

- Shut up, dildo! I gotta get to the cafeteria.

=> - 閉嘴，假陽具！我得去食堂。

Watch that fat boy, now.

=> 現在看那個胖男孩。

He could be under alien control.

=> 他可能受到外星人的控制。

They were real.

=> 他們是真實的。

Sorry about your ass.

=> 對不起你的屁股。

Goddamn it, they didnt do anything to my ass! It was just a dream.

=> 該死的，他們沒有對我的屁股做任何事情！這只是一個夢想。

- Why you walking so funny? - Shut up! No, Ike, go home.

=> - 你為什麼這麼好笑？ - 閉嘴！不，艾克，回家吧。

This is it.

=> 就是這個。

This ones for the game.

=> 這是一個遊戲。

Kick the baby.

=> 踢嬰兒。

- Good morning, Mrs.

=> - 早上好，夫人

Crabtree.

=> 克拉布特里。

- Sit down, were late! - Hes still there.

=> - 坐下，我們遲到了！他還在那裡

- Dont worry.

=> - 別擔心

If something happens to him, my parents will blame me.

=> 如果他發生什麼事，我的父母會責備我。

Sit down back there! - Whatever, you fat bitch.

=> 坐回去！ - 無論如何，你胖婊子。

- What did you say?! I said, I have a bad itch.

=> - 你說什麼？！我說，我有一個不好的癢。

Oh, my God! - Visitors! - Oh, no! Ike! Stop the bus! You have to stop this bus! - Do you want an office referral? - No.

=> 哦，我的上帝！ - 訪客！ - 不好了！艾克！停車吧！你必須停下這輛巴士！ - 你想要辦公室轉介嗎？ - 沒有

- Then sit down! - But l - Are those the same visitors you saw? - Shut up, its not working.

=> - 然後坐下 - 但是 - 那些你看到的是同樣的遊客嗎？ - 閉嘴，它不工作。

- We have to do something.

=> - 我們必須做點什麼

- We cant.

=> - 我們不能。

- That fat bitch wont let us.

=> 那胖婊子不會讓我們

- What did you say?! - I said that rabbits eat lettuce.

=> - 你說什麼？！ - 我說兔子吃生菜

- Well, yes, they certainly do.

=> - 是的，他們當然可以。

What am I gonna do? My brother has been abducted by aliens.

=> 我該怎麼辦？我的兄弟被外星人綁架了。

You farted.

=> 你放屁。

Somebodys baking brownies.

=> 有人在烘烤布朗尼蛋糕。

Thats the third cow this month.

=> 這是本月第三隻牛。

At this rate, all my cattle will die before the winters through.

=> 按照這個速度，我所有的牛都會在冬天到來之前死亡。

This isnt unusual.

=> 這並不罕見。

Cows turn themselves inside out all the time.

=> 奶牛總是把自己翻出來。

People been saying theyve seen UFOs around.

=> 人們一直在說他們已經看到了不明飛行物。

UFOs? And black Army CIA helicopters and trucks.

=> 不明飛行物？還有黑軍中央情報局的直升機和卡車。

That is the silliest thing Ive ever heard.

=> 這是我聽過的最蠢的事情。

- What was that? - That was a pigeon.

=> - 那是什麼？ - 那是一隻鴿子。

What am I supposed to do? Just stand here and watch my cattle get mutilated one by one? My cattle! See? There is something funny going on.

=> 我應該做些什麼？站在這裡，看我的牛一個接一個地被殘害嗎？我的牛！看到？有一些有趣的事情發生。

Theres nothing funny going on.

=> 沒有什麼可笑的事情發生。

Ill get those cows back.

=> 我會把那些牛帶回來

And now our friend Mr.

=> 現在我們的朋友先生

Hat is going to tell us about Christopher Columbus.

=> 帽子是要告訴我們關於克里斯托弗·哥倫布。

Thats right, Mr.

=> 沒錯，先生

Garrison.

=> 駐軍。

Columbus discovered America and was the Indians best friend.

=> 哥倫布發現了美國，是印第安人最好的朋友。

He helped them win their war against Frederick Douglass and freed the Hebrews from Napoleon and discovered France.

=> 他幫助他們贏得了與弗雷德里克·道格拉斯（Frederick Douglass）的戰爭，並將希伯來人從拿破崙手中解救出來，並發現了法國。

I have to help my stupid brother.

=> 我必須幫助我的愚蠢的兄弟。

If I go home without him, my dad will yell: "Wheres your brother? You werent looking out for him.

=> 如果我沒有他回家，我爸爸就會大喊：「你哥哥呢？你不是在找他。

" - Lets go find him.

=>「 - 我們去找他。

- "He cant think on his own.

=> - 「他不能自己想。

Brush and floss.

=> 刷子和牙線。

Where has that finger been?" - Dude! - Is there a problem? - Yes, I have to go now.

=> 那個手指在哪裡？「 - 老兄！ - 有問題嗎？ - 是的，我現在得走了。

- Really, Kyle? - What is it? Another prostate tumor? - My brothers been abducted by aliens.

=> - 真的，凱爾？ - 它是什麼？另一種前列腺腫瘤 - 我的兄弟被外星人綁架了

Its true.

=> 這是真的。

Ask Cartman.

=> 問問Cartman。

They gave him an anal probe.

=> 他們給了他一個肛門探頭。

- Thats a little joke.

=> - 這是一個小笑話。

- Mr.

=> - 先生。

Garrison, seriously, I have to go.

=> 駐軍，認真，我得走了。

- Can I please be excused? - I dont know.

=> - 我可以請原諒嗎？ - 我不知道。

Did you ask Mr.

=> 你問過先生嗎？

Hat? I dont wanna ask Mr.

=> 帽子？我不想問先生

Hat.

=> 帽子。

Im asking you! - I think you should ask Mr.

=> 我在問你！ - 我想你應該問問先生

Hat.

=> 帽子。

- Mr.

=> - 先生。

Hat, may I please be excused? Well, Kyle, no! You hear me? You go to hell! You go to hell and you die! Youll have to take your seat.

=> 帽子，我可以請原諒嗎？那麼，凱爾，不！你聽到我了嗎？你去死吧！你去死吧，你死了！你必須坐下來

- Damn it! - Ha-ha, Mr.

=> - 該死的！哈哈先生

Hat yelled at you.

=> 帽子對你大喊。

- My ass! - Damn, Cartman! - My ass! - Dude, hes farting fire! Its the alien anal probe.

=> - 我的屁股！ - 該死的Cartman！ - 我的屁股！ - 夥計，他放火了！這是外星肛門探頭。

Its shooting fire from his rectum! No, that was just a dream.

=> 這是從他的直腸射擊！不，那只是一個夢想。

Do you need to sit in the corner until your gas is under control? No, Mr.

=> 你需要坐在角落裡，直到你的氣體受到控制？不，先生

Garrison, Im fine.

=> 駐軍，我很好。

You cows cant get on this train.

=> 你的牛不能坐火車

This is a people train.

=> 這是一列人車。

You cows have no business on a people train, all right? Youre cows.

=> 你們的牛在人群上沒有生意，好嗎？你是牛。

Dont try any of that cow hypnosis on me, all right? - Because its not gonna work.

=> 不要在我身上嘗試那種牛催眠，好嗎？ - 因為它不會工作。

Come back here! - I sure am hungry.

=>回到這來！我當然餓了

- How can you eat when you fart fire? Shut up, youre being totally immature.

=> - 你放屁時怎麼吃？閉嘴，你完全不成熟。

- Look, theres Wendy Testaburger.

=> - 看，溫迪試驗員。

- Where? - Stan wants to kiss Wendy Testaburger - Shut up, fat ass, I dont like her.

=> - 哪裡？ - 斯坦想親吻溫迪Testaburger - 閉嘴，胖屁股，我不喜歡她。

Im not fat.

=> 我不胖。

You like her because you throw up when she talks to you.

=> 你喜歡她，因為當你和你說話的時候你就吐了。

- I do not.

=> - 我不。

- Hi, guys.

=> - 嗨，大家好。

Hi, Wendy.

=> 嗨，溫迪。

Here, Stan, this is for you.

=> 在這裡，斯坦，這是給你的。

Bye, Wendy.

=> 再見，溫迪。

Dude, what does the note say? Holy crap! She wants to meet me at Starks Pond after school.

=> 老兄，這個筆記說什麼？哇靠！她想在放學後在斯塔克池塘見我。

- Whoa, maybe you can kiss her.

=> 哇，也許你可以吻她。

- Or slip her the tongue.

=> - 或者滑開她的舌頭。

What? How do you know she has a cat? Lets figure out how to ditch school so we can get Ike back.

=> 什麼？你怎麼知道她有一隻貓？讓我們弄清楚如何溝通學校，以便讓艾克回來。

Hello, children.

=> 你們好孩子們。

How are you? - Bad.

=> 你好嗎？ - 壞。

- Why bad? Have you ever had something happen but nobody believed you? Children, thats a problem weve all had to face at some time or another.

=> - 為什麼不好？你有沒有發生過什麼，但沒有人相信你？孩子們，這是我們不得不面對的一個問題。

Here, let me sing you a little song.

=> 在這裡，讓我給你唱一首小歌。

It might clear things up.

=> 它可能會清理一些事情。

Chef! - Do you feel better? - No.

=> 廚師！ - 你好點了嗎？ - 沒有

Come on, children, what can be so bad? Its Salisbury-steak day.

=> 來吧，孩子，有什麼可壞的？這是索爾茲伯里牛排一天。

- Visitors took Kyles baby brother.

=> - 來訪者帶走了凱爾的小弟弟。

- What?! What are you doing eating Salisbury steak? - Find him! - Mr.

=> - 什麼？！你在做什麼吃索爾茲伯里牛排？ - 找他！ - 先生。

Garrison wont let us go.

=> 駐軍不會放過我們的。

- He thinks were making it up.

=> - 他認為我們正在彌補。

- You are making it up.

=> - 你正在補上。

- What? - That was cool! Its some kind of symbiotic metamorphosis device.

=> - 什麼？ - 太酷了！這是一種共生的變態裝置。

This could mean the visitors want to talk to us.

=> 這可能意味著遊客想與我們交談。

I see.

=> 我懂了。

Youre joining in on the joke.

=> 你加入了這個笑話。

Its no joke, children.

=> 孩子，這不是開玩笑。

This is big.

=> 這很大。

If I dont get out of school and get Ike back my parents will disown me.

=> 如果我不能離開學校，讓艾克回來，我的父母將會拒絕我。

Hold on now.

=> 等一下

You got to help the children.

=> 你必須幫助孩子。

You guys are going a long way to try and scare me.

=> 你們想要嚇唬我，還有很長的路要走。

I want my Salisbury steak.

=> 我想要我的索爾茲伯里牛排。

Fire drill, fire drill! Everybody out! Okay, children, this is your chance.

=> 消防演習，消防演習！大家出去！好的，孩子，這是你的機會。

Killer.

=> 殺手。

Thanks, Chef.

=> 謝謝，廚師

First contact with the alien visitors.

=> 首先與外星人聯繫。

Ive gotta get myself ready.

=> 我必須讓自己準備好。

We got out of school No more school today We got out of school - You guys, my ass, seriously! - Okay, you can stop farting fire now.

=> 我們失學了今天沒有更多的學校我們失學了 - 你們，我的屁股，認真！好的，你現在可以停止放火。

- I cant, you son of a bitch! - How do we get my brother back? Would you stop going on about your brother? It was just a dream! I didnt have an anal probe! I am not under alien control! - What was that? - He is under alien control.

=> - 我不能，你這個婊子的兒子！ - 我們怎樣才能讓我的弟弟回來？你會不會繼續關於你的兄弟？這只是一個夢想！我沒有肛門探針！我不受外星人控制！ - 那是什麼？他受到外星人的控制

- His butts linked up to the visitors.

=> - 他的屁股連接到遊客。

- Son of a bitch! Guys, shut up.

=> - 王八蛋！夥計們，閉嘴。

Im not under alien control.

=> 我不受外星人控制。

If you visitors can hear me, bring back my brother, goddamn it! That hurts, you butt-licker! - Kyle, look, its them.

=> 如果遊客能聽到我的話，把我的兄弟帶回來，該死的！好痛，你屁股！ - 凱爾，看，這是他們。

- Give me back my brother! - Oh, my God, they killed Kenny! - You bastards! Come back here! Come back! Damn it, we were so close! Hey, look.

=> - 把我的兄弟還給我 - 哦，天哪，他們殺了Kenny！ - 你這個混蛋！回到這來！回來！該死的，我們那麼近！你看。

I think Kennys okay.

=> 我覺得肯尼沒關係

Wow, poor Kenny.

=> 哇，可憐的肯尼。

- Now do you believe us? - No.

=> - 你現在相信我們嗎？ - 沒有

- Cartman, they killed Kenny.

=> 卡特曼，他們殺了肯尼。

- Hes not dead.

=> 他沒死

Dude, Kenny is dead.

=> 夥計，肯尼死了。

See? - Shut up, you guys.

=> 看到？ - 閉嘴，你們

- Hes dead, Cartman.

=> 他死了Cartman

Damn it, I didnt have an anal probe! Screw you guys, Im going home.

=> 該死的，我沒有肛門探針！你們太無聊了，我回家了。

- Go on and go home, you fat chicken! - Dildo! - Youre all I have left.

=> - 回家吧，你胖雞！ - 假陽具！ - 你已經走了。

- Sorry, I gotta meet Wendy.

=> - 對不起，我要和溫迪見面。

You cant.

=> 你不能。

Poor Ike must be so scared, up there all alone.

=> 可憐的艾克一定很害怕，一個人在那裡。

Help me.

=> 幫我。

Like Chef says, "Im getting a piece of loving while the gettings hot.

=> 像廚師說，「我得到一個熱愛的一塊愛。

" Rats! - Hello, Eric.

=>「老鼠！ - 你好，埃里克。

- Hi, Mom.

=> - 嗨，媽媽

- How are you doing? - Well, Im pissed off.

=> - 你好嗎？ - 好吧，我生氣了。

Here, I made you powdered-doughnut pancake surprise.

=> 在這裡，我給你做了炸粉餅煎餅的驚喜。

I dont want it! All the kids in school call me fat.

=> 我不想要它！所有在學校的孩子都叫我胖。

- Youre not fat, youre big-boned.

=> - 你不胖，骨頭很大

- Thats what I said.

=> - 這就是我所說的。

You can have an eensy-weensy bit, cant you? - Just a weensy-eensy woo-woo? - No.

=> 你可以有一個艾森 - 溫絲，不是嗎？ - 只是一個溫馨的呃嗚嗚嗚？ - 沒有

Leave me alone, Mom.

=> 媽媽，讓我一個人呆著

How about a nice chocolate chicken potpie then? Well, that does sound pretty good.

=> 那麼好的巧克力雞肉餡餅怎麼樣？那聽起來不錯。

- Mom? - Yes, hon? If anybody calls or visits, Im not here, okay? - Sure.

=> - 媽媽？ - 是的，洪？如果有人打電話或拜訪，我不在這裡，好嗎？ - 當然。

You want some Cheesy Poofs too? - Yeah, I want Cheesy Poofs.

=> 你還想要一些俗氣的噗？ - 是的，我想要Cheesy Poofs。

Shes not coming.

=> 她不來了

Lets look for the visitors.

=> 讓我們來看看遊客。

- But her note said shed be here.

=> - 但是她的便條說她會在這裡。

- Hi, Stan.

=> - 嗨，斯坦。

- He throws up when you talk to him.

=> - 當你跟他說話的時候，他會拋出

- But why, Stan? Would you get down to business so we can find Ike? - Make sweet love by the fire.

=> - 但為什麼，斯坦？你會開始做生意，所以我們可以找到艾克？ - 用火做出甜蜜的愛。

- What happened to Ike? As UFO sightings increase more mysterious crop-circle patterns are appearing in fields.

=> - 艾克發生了什麼事？隨著不明飛行物的出現，越來越多的神秘作物圈出現在田間。

These crop circles, when viewed from above, form strange patterns.

=> 這些麥田圈從上面看，形成了奇怪的模式。

Hey, that kind of looks like Tom Selleck.

=> 嘿，那種像Tom Selleck的樣子。

Could it be that aliens are trying to make contact with us on Earth? No, Kitty, this is my potpie.

=> 難道外星人試圖在地球上與我們聯繫？不，凱蒂，這是我的餡餅。

No, Kitty, you bad kitty.

=> 不，凱蒂，你這個壞小貓。

No, Kitty, this is my potpie! Mom! Kittys being a dildo! Then I know a certain kitty-kitty whos sleeping with Mommy tonight.

=> 不，凱蒂，這是我的餡餅！媽媽！凱蒂是一個假陽具！然後我知道一個今晚和媽媽睡覺的小貓咪。

What?! I have to go home without him, and my parents will kill me.

=> 什麼？！我必須沒有他回家，我的父母會殺了我。

- Why dont you get the fat kid? - Why? If the fat kid has something implanted in his ass maybe hes a part of the visitors plan.

=> - 為什麼你不胖胖的孩子？ - 為什麼？如果胖子在他的屁股上植入了一些東西，也許他是參觀者計劃的一部分。

Use the fat kid as bait to bring them back.

=> 用肥仔作為誘餌把他們帶回來。

Youre right.

=> 你是對的。

Come on, Stan.

=> 來吧，斯坦。

We have to get Cartman.

=> 我們必須得到Cartman。

Come on, Stan.

=> 來吧，斯坦。

Hey, wait.

=> 嘿，等等。

When do I get to make sweet love? No, Kitty, you cant have any! No, Kitty, this is my potpie! Bad kitty! Excuse me, Kitty.

=> 我什麼時候能做出甜蜜的愛情？不，凱蒂，你不能有任何！不，凱蒂，這是我的餡餅！壞小貓！對不起，凱蒂。

- Eric, look whos here.

=> - 埃里克，看看誰在這裡。

- Good work, Mom! - Lets play at the bus stop.

=> - 好，媽媽！ - 我們在公車站玩吧

- I cant, Mom says Thats okay.

=> - 我不能，媽媽說沒關係。

You need to spend time with your friends.

=> 你需要花時間與你的朋友。

- Goddamn it! - I have to get home.

=>- 他媽的！我必須回家

- Dont be such a fraidy cat.

=> - 不要成為這樣一個瘋狂的貓。

This rope will make sure they cant take you onboard again.

=> 這根繩子會確保他們不能再把你帶回船上。

- This sucks! - How come they arent coming? I think we have to signal them somehow.

=> - 這很爛！ - 他們怎麼沒來？我想我們必須以某種方式表示出來。

Hey, hes like Rudolph.

=> 嘿，他就像魯道夫。

All you have to do is fart and the visitors are sure to come.

=> 所有你需要做的是放屁，遊客一定會來。

Really? I dont think I have to fart anymore tonight.

=> 真？我不認為我今晚要放屁了。

- Sure, you do.

=> - 當然可以。

- Come on, fart! - I dont wanna! - He cant hold it in forever.

=> - 來吧，放屁！ - 我不想要！他不能永遠保持下去

- Fart, damn you! - Okay, that does it! Why is it that everything today has involved things either going in or coming out of my ass? Im sick of it! Its completely immature! Its happening again.

=> - 放屁，該死的！ - 好的，就這樣做！為什麼今天的一切都牽涉到要麼進出我的屁股？我煩死了！這完全不成熟！又在發生了。

- Whoa, look at that.

=> 哇，看看。

- Now do you believe us? You cant scare me.

=> - 你現在相信我們嗎？你不能嚇到我

Youre making it all up.

=> 你正在全力以赴

Theres an 80-foot satellite dish sticking out of your ass! Sure, you guys, whatever.

=> 有一個80英尺的衛星天線伸出你的屁股！當然，你們，不管。

Oh, boy, the aliens are going to make first contact.

=> 哦，男孩，外星人要先聯繫。

Hey! Down here! We are ready for your wisdom.

=> 嘿!在這裡！我們準備好你的智慧。

And you only got 20 minutes before Sanford and Son is on! You guys, I am seriously getting pissed off right now.

=> 而桑福德和兒子剛剛過了20分鐘！你們，我現在真的很生氣。

I know theres no such thing as aliens! Oh, goddamn it! What the? I tell you, theres crazy stuff going on in this town.

=> 我知道沒有外星人這樣的東西！哦，該死的！什麼？我告訴你，這個城鎮里有瘋狂的事情發生。

You can say that again, Mr.

=> 你可以再說一遍，先生

Garrison.

=> 駐軍。

Come down here, you stinking aliens! Ask them for your little brother back.

=> 來這裡，你臭臭的外星人！問他們你的小弟弟回來。

Visitors, you took my brother.

=> 遊客，你帶走了我的兄弟。

Hes freckled and looks like a football.

=> 他有雀斑，看起來像一個足球。

At first I was happy you took him, but Ive learned something: Having a little brother is special.

=> 起初，我很高興你拿走了他，但我學到了一些東西：有一個小弟弟是特別的。

Heck, Im just a kid all alone in this crazy world.

=> 哎呀，我只是一個孩子，獨自在這個瘋狂的世界。

If you can find it in your hearts to give my brother back it would make my life brighter again.

=> 如果你能找到我的兄弟回來，這將使我的生活更加光明。

That was beautiful.

=> 那很美。

- Did it work? - No.

=> - 有用嗎？ - 沒有

You scrawny-assed sh * *! What the f* * * is wrong with you? You must be some kind of f* * * to ignore a crying child! You know what you f* * *ing like? You like to f* * *! Hey, Wendy, whats a f* * *? Ike, jump down! Now! For the love of God, Ike, jump! Dont hurt me.

=> 你瘦骨-as sh * *！你有什麼錯？你必須是某種忽視一個哭泣的孩子！你知道你是什麼？你喜歡f * * *！嗨，溫迪，什麼是F * * *？艾克，跳下去！現在！為了上帝的愛，艾克，跳！不要傷害我

I promise Ill be nice to you from now on.

=> 我保證從現在起我會很高興。

Dont kick the baby.

=> 不要踢寶寶。

What are they talking about? Ike, do your impersonation of David Carusos career! Its my turn.

=> 他們在說什麼？艾克，你模仿大衛·卡魯索的事業！輪到我了。

You guys, get me down from here! Help! Sons of bitches! Dildo! - Im sure glad thats over with.

=> 你們，讓我從這裡下來！幫幫我！兒子的婊子！假陽具！ - 我確定很高興結束了。

- Boy, am I glad to see you, Ike! Shes fly at the sky.

=> - 我很高興見到你，艾克！她飛在天空。

Wait! Where are you going, alien visitors? Come back! Wheres this amazing thing you were gonna show us? Its in the bedroom, ladies.

=> 等待！你要去哪裡，外星人來訪？回來！你將向我們展示這個驚人的東西在哪裡？在卧室里，女士們。

Come on in.

=> 進來。

We can make it in time for dinner.

=> 我們可以及時吃晚飯。

- Thanks for helping.

=> - 感謝您的幫助。

- Whatever.

=> - 隨你。

- Hey, I didnt throw up.

=> - 嘿，我沒有吐。

- Cool.

=> - 很酷。

Sorry.

=> 抱歉。

- Hey, look, a French fry.

=> - 嘿，看，法式炸薯條。

- Cool.

=> - 很酷。

- Whats that? - Its part of a Cheesy Poof.

=> - 那是什麼？ - 這是一個俗氣的噗的一部分。

- Hey, whats that? - Thats a hamburger.

=> - 嘿，那是什麼？ - 這是一個漢堡。

- Thats from two days ago! - What about that? I dont know.

=> - 這是從兩天前！ - 那個怎麼樣？我不知道。

The bus will be here.

=> 巴士將在這裡。

Cartmans still gone.

=> 卡特曼仍然走了。

Were running out of friends.

=> 我們沒有朋友了。

I wonder what the visitors gave the cows? Cows, I got you cornered.

=> 我想知道客人們給了牛嗎？奶牛，我得到你了。

Lets see you get away now.

=> 讓我們看看你現在離開。

Hey, Cartman.

=> 嘿，Cartman。

The visitors dropped you off just in time for school.

=> 參觀者把你趕到學校。

- I had a crazy nightmare last night.

=> - 我昨晚有一個瘋狂的噩夢。

- Really? What about? Well, I was standing out in a field.

=> - 真的嗎？關於什麼？那麼，我在一個領域站了出來。

I had this satellite dish sticking out of my butt and then there were cows and aliens.

=> 我有這個衛星天線伸出我的屁股，然後有牛和外星人。

Then I went on the ship, and Scott Baio gave me pinkeye.

=> 然後我上了船，斯科特·拜奧給了我紅眼。

That wasnt a dream.

=> 那不是一個夢。

That happened.

=> 那事發生了。

- Right.

=> - 對。

Why dont I have pinkeye then? - You do have pinkeye! Son of a bitch!

=> 那麼為什麼我不知道呢？ - 你有紅眼！王八蛋！