段落結構/healing和curing/延長/順序

本文首發於立文悉通微信公眾號（Transystom）

理順一段話

中文原文（部分虛構）：Wang et al 報道了2例基底動脈穿支動脈瘤，1例採取保守治療，後期複查，動脈瘤自行消失，恢復良好；另外1例行2枚Solitaire支架置入，作者希望動脈瘤內血栓形成，達到治療目的，但1月後CTA仍顯示動脈瘤，再次行1枚Sceptor XC 球囊臨時阻斷，使得動脈瘤內血栓形成，9個月後複查DSA，動脈瘤未複發。

Wang et al reported 2 cases of basilar perforating artery aneurysm, in which 1 patient was given conservative treatment and re-examination showed disappearance of aneurysm along with good recovery; the other patient was introduced with 2 Solitaire stents to achieve the therapeutic purpose of inducing intra-aneurysmal thrombosis. However, because the 1-month post-treatment CTA still showed a presence of aneurysm, patient was then given a Scepter XC occlusion balloon to facilitate intra-aneurysmal thrombosis. DSA re-examination was conducted 9 months later and no recurring aneurysm was detected.

上面這一段譯文結構混亂，主要存在以下問題：

1. in which引導的從句太長，可以另起一句來描述第一位患者和第二位患者的情況。

2. 在描述完第一位患者的情況後用的是分號，如「good recovery; the other patient」，而在描述第二位患者的過程中卻用了句號，如「thrombosis. However」，導致內容指向不夠明確。

3. 中文部分內容在英文中可以省略，如「achieve the therapeutic purpose of inducing intra-aneurysmal thrombosis」顯得啰嗦。

4. 存在部分細節問題，如冠詞使用、常用表達等，比如那個標紅的patient前面就缺失了一個the。

改動如下：

Wang et al reported 2 cases of basilar perforating artery aneurysm. One patient received conservative treatment, and re-examination showed disappearance of the aneurysm. The other patient underwent placement of 2 Solitaire stents to induce intra-aneurysmal thrombosis, but the aneurysm was still found on computed tomography angiography 1 month later. The patient was then given a Scepter XC balloon for temporary occlusion to promote intra-aneurysmal thrombosis. Digital subtraction angiography 9 months later detected no recurrence of the aneurysm.

healing和curing的區別

healing的程度比curing深，curing一般指用外部治療手段消除癥狀，而healing不僅於此，還指從內在消除了病因且整體變好了。

且看一段英文來體會二者的區別：

There is a difference between healing and curing. Healing is a natural process and is within the power of everyone. Curing, which is what doctors are called upon to do, usually consists of an external treatment; medication or surgery is used to mask or eliminate symptoms. This external treatment doesnt necessarily address the factors that contributed to the factors in the first place. Healing goes deeper than curing and must always come from within. It addresses the imbalance that underlies the symptoms. Healing brings together the often hidden aspects of a persons life as they relate to her illness. Healing is different from curing, though curing and the restoration of physical function may accompany healing.

http://www.beliefnet.com/wellness/health/2005/10/the-difference-between-healing-and-curing.aspx

隨著治療時間的延長

我們要表達「隨著治療時間的延長」不能想當然地用「prolong」這個詞，因為通常這樣說其實就是指「隨著治療的進行」，推薦表達如下：

• decreased over the course of treatment
• decreased over the treatment period
• decreased as the treatment progressed

中英文表達順序差異一例

鼻咽部大出血不是nasopharyngeal massive bleeding (受中文影響了)， 而是massivenasopharyngeal bleeding