幾個例子告訴你怎樣寫出簡潔的英文

02-28

本文首發於立文悉通微信公眾號（Transystom）

去掉多餘的單詞

英文寫作要簡潔，這樣才有力度。

Write concisely so that your writing is vigorous.

額，等一下！上面的英文是我寫的，表達得不夠簡潔，原作者是這樣說的：

Vigorous writing is concise.

一句話里不要有多餘的詞，一段話里不要有多餘的句子，

A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, (第二個動詞都省了，夠簡潔！)

就像一幅畫里不能有多餘的線條，一台機器不能有多餘的零件。

for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. (第二個動詞都省了，夠簡潔！)

這倒不是說作者要把句子寫得很短，或者只寫大概內容，不描述細節，而是說每個單詞都要有用。（就像一個單位，不能養吃閑飯的！）

This requires not that the writer make all sentences short, or avoid all detail and treat subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.

也許有人要問，make、avoid、treat和tell後面怎麼不加s，主語不是單數第三人稱writer嗎？

如果提出了這個問題說明語法學得不錯，但是。。。沒學到家。這裡實際上是requires sb (should) do 的形式，這個should可以省略，類似的動詞有：suggest, order, require, propose, demand, request, insist。

很多常見的表達都違反了這個原則：

the question as to whether

精簡為

whether (the question whether)

there is no doubt but that

精簡為

no doubt (doubtless)

used for fuel purposes

精簡為

used for fuel

he is a man who

精簡為

in a hasty manner

精簡為

hastily

this is a subject that

精簡為

this subject

Her story is a strange one.

精簡為

Her story is strange.

the reason why is that

精簡為

because

「The fact that」是常見的多餘表達，應該從句子里剔除掉！

owing to the fact that

精簡為

since (because)

in spite of the fact that

精簡為

though (although)

call your attention to the fact that

精簡為

remind you (notify you)

I was unaware of the fact that

精簡為

I was unaware that (did not know)

the fact that he had not succeeded

精簡為

his failure

the fact that I had arrived

精簡為

my arrival

Case, character, nature, who is, which was等表達也常常是多餘的：

In many cases, the rooms lacked air conditioning.

精簡為

Many of the rooms lacked air conditioning.

It has rarely been the case that any mistake has been made.

精簡為

Few mistakes have been made.

acts of a hostile character

精簡為

hostile acts

acts of a hostile nature

精簡為

hostile acts

His cousin, who is a member of the same firm

精簡為

His cousin, a member of the same firm

Trafalgar, which was Nelsons last battle

精簡為

Trafalgar, Nelsons last battle

主動語態比被動語態更簡潔，肯定句式比否定句式更簡潔。(具體點此鏈接：談一談主動語態和被動語態的選擇和把話說得更明確一些)

The active voice is more concise than the passive, and a positive statement more concise than a negative one.

逐句堆砌來表達一個複雜的意思也常常會顯得啰嗦，這時可以考慮進行句子合併。

A common way to fall into wordiness is to present a single complex idea, step by step, in a series of sentences that might to advantage be combined into one.

比如：

Macbeth was very ambitious. This led him to wish to become king of Scotland. The witches told him that this wish of his would come true. The king of Scotland at this time was Duncan. Encouraged by his wife, Macbeth murdered Duncan. He was thus enabled to succeed Duncan as king. (51 words)

精簡為

Encouraged by his wife, Macbeth achieved his ambition and realized the prediction of the witches by murdering Duncan and becoming king of Scotland in his place. (26 words)

編譯自《The Elements of Style》