還想放假?一句話中譯英思路,瞬間進入工作狀態

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分享一句中譯英翻譯思路,幫助你速速脫去春假的油膩,一秒進入工作狀態

*此句選自知新共學1月翻譯群某日中譯英練習段落。

在寧靜的氛圍里,你的思想有了自由馳騁的空間,你可以細心坐下梳理你的思緒,檢討你的過失。

先摳詞……

寧靜的氛圍,可以直接說「寧靜」,用名詞,tranquility,quietness, serenity,也可以用「寧靜的」形容詞修飾氛圍,比如a quiet/tranquil atmosphere/ambience:

the qualities and character of a particularplace and the way these make you feel氣氛,情調,環境

pleasant/relaxing/friendly etc ambience

The restaurant』s new owners have created a welcoming ambience.

這家餐廳的新主人營造出一種舒適的氣氛。

思想有了自由馳騁的空間,可以改譯為「思想可以自由馳騁」,或者照原文順序,「這寧靜的氛圍為你的思想提供了自由馳騁的空間」。謂語動詞可以選:

run riot:if your imagination, emotions, thoughts etc run riot, you cannot ordo not control them 〔想像、感情、思緒等〕無法控制,不加約束

Manufacturers have let their imaginationsrun riot to create new computer games.

生產商極盡想像之能事,開發設計新的電腦遊戲。

或者改譯成「想你所想」:to ponder overwhatever interests you

也可以用動賓結構,「釋放你的思想」,Free your mind

梳理思緒,動詞可以是:

Marshal: to organize your thoughts, ideas etc sothat they are clear, effective, or easy to understand 整理〔思路、想法等〕

marshal your thoughts/arguments etc

He paused for a moment as if to marshal histhoughts.

他停頓了片刻,好像在整理思路。

Clear: To clear your mind or your headmeans to free it from confused thoughts or from the effects of a drug such asalcohol. 使清醒

He walked up Fifth Avenue to clear hishead.

他在第五大街上走,讓頭腦清醒清醒。

Sort out: If you sort yourself out, you organize yourself or calm yourself so thatyou can act effectively and reasonably. 使平靜

Were in a state of complete chaos here andI need a little time to sort myself out.

我們這兒處於一片混亂之中,我需要一些時間讓自己平靜下來。

檢討過失,動賓結構,動詞可選:review/reflecton/look into/examine faults/mistakes, criticize yourself,注意動賓搭配。或處理成名詞:self-criticism。

過失還可以是:

Lapse: a failure to do something you shoulddo, especially to behave correctly

〔尤指舉止方面的〕疏忽,過失,過錯

He forgot to offer Darren a drink, butMarie did not appear to notice the lapse.

他忘了給達倫倒飲料,瑪麗好像也沒有注意到這個疏忽。

順思路……

在寧靜的氛圍里,你的思想有了自由馳騁的空間,你可以細心坐下梳理你的思緒,檢討你的過失。

思路1:氛圍給你的思想提供了自由馳騁的空間,因此,你可以坐下(梳理、檢討作狀語)

The tranquil atmosphere leaves your mind full space to drift/wander /offers your mind full freedom to drift/wander so you may sit down, sorting out your thoughts and reviewing your faults.

▲翻譯小技巧

中文的邏輯關係藏在字裡行間,英文翻譯的時候可以適當補充一些邏輯詞(so, but...)。

思路2:在寧靜的氛圍里(地點狀語),你的思想(主語)可以自由馳騁,因此,你可以坐下(梳理,檢討做狀語)

In the tranquil atmosphere your mind may drift anywhere and you may sit down, sorting out your thoughts and reviewing your faults.

思路3:在寧靜的氛圍里(地點狀語),你可以坐下(梳理、檢討、讓思想自由馳騁做狀語)

In the tranquil atmosphere, you may sit, sorting out your thoughts, reflecting on your faults, with your mind drifting, unrestrained.

▲翻譯小技巧

先確定一個主要動作做句子謂語(坐下sit),即確定句子主幹。然後將剩餘所有動作狀態作狀語處理(梳理、檢討、馳騁)。

思路4:安靜的氛圍給你的思想自由馳騁的空間,也給你梳理思緒檢討過失的空間

The tranquil atmosphere leaves full space for your mind to drift and you to sort out thoughts and reflect on faults.

參考譯文:

A quiet atmosphere provides your mind with full freedom to travel anywhere it likes, and is most favorable for you to sort out your thoughts or examine yourself and make a self-criticism.

堅持看到這裡不容易,獎勵一張手繪給你

畫作、文字 by 知新共學譯友QueenS


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