如何看待「過來人的忠告」？
在雪地上走路，踩著別人的腳印走很容易滑倒。虛心聽取，酌情接受。
大家都是第一次做人，沒什麼經驗，多點經驗少做點錯事，比如如果有人告訴我別拿牙齒開啤酒蓋和我自己能分辨的話，我的牙齒也就不會被磕掉了，(?ω?)
發展的眼光看問題。多少人的忠告還可能包含著他們自己的利益訴求（包括父母）。主要還是靠自己分辨。
看過這麼一句話 前輩或長輩給你的建議 是最保險的 但不是最好的 私以為很在理 經驗其實就是教你如何在一種境遇下利益最大化 這種利益最大化應該是一種普遍的價值觀所決定的 不是你的 有時候你想要的是什麼只有你自己知道 私以為過來人的經驗會是我們做選擇的一種絕佳的參考
作為一個人過來人，一般都在事業生活中有所成就，很難也不願意花時間給你具體講解忠告是怎樣的。實際上給你們年輕人忠告是給你面子。蠢的人就覺得前輩是智障，聰明點的會自己去想為什麼，最精到底就開始抱著大腿去問問題了。而可惜的是，大多數人甚至懶得去想一個簡單的問題：別人給你忠告的原因是什麼。難怪蠢人永遠聰明不起來。
說到「過來人」，很多人第一時間會想到自己的長輩，他們的確也是說這種話最多的人。「不聽老人言，吃虧在眼前」這句話成了多少人的噩夢，你有再多想法，總會被這句堵住了嘴，因為他們吃過的鹽多啊，走過的橋多啊，因為他們是為我們好啊……
我第一次覺得不應該再迷信父母的話，是因為一件小事。當時我在青島上大學，過年回家吃餃子，我媽包了芹菜肉餡的，吃的時候我說外面什麼餡的餃子都有，黃瓜雞蛋、西紅柿雞蛋之類，我媽當時嚇得餃子皮都掉了：啊？那也能吃？我說好吃啊，雖然比不上你包的^_^
不得不說我媽是個殿堂級家庭廚師，各種家常菜做的好吃極了，可是她做了幾十年的菜，也沒聽過西紅柿雞蛋餃子，我做蛋炒飯先把蛋液倒進米飯里，她都覺得我在亂搞。作為烹飪道路上的「過來人」，她的經驗其實被限制在很小的領域，更不用說生活中的其它事情。
父母出於對我們的愛，喜歡用「過來人」的經驗為我們指導人生：學熱門專業，然後考研考公務員，還要早早結婚生子。可是現在時代已經不同了，他們在一個小城市奮鬥半生的經驗，並不能幫到我們太多。蔣方舟曾經說過： 「父母提出的人生建議，是最保險的，不是最好的」。的確，因為我們已經不是為了安穩而活的一代人了。
「我可是過來人」 「那你回去吧」任何人的忠告都帶有主觀色彩，個人意見還是有自己的路，一切都只有自己經歷過才會懂，更何況，有相當一部分忠告是老年人倚老賣老的閑扯淡。
不同人，不同路
不要聽，人生就是用來體驗的，按部就班的走下去有什麼意思。
就算自己走錯了傻逼了，又怎麼樣關鍵是在發現自己傻逼後能及時止損。感謝給建議的人的善意。有則改過，無則加勉
我每次都想問 你到底是從哪裡過來的
Experience / 過來人的忠告
by Walter Benjamin 本雅明
Where are you, Youth, that always wakes me Promptly in the morning? Where are you, Light?
—Friedrich Holderlin, 「The Blind Singer"
In our struggle for responsibility, we fight against someone who is masked. The mask of the adult is called 「experience.」 It is expressionless, impenetrable, and ever the same. The adult has always already experienced [erlebt] everything: youth, ideals, hopes, woman. It was all illusion.—Often we feel intimidated or embittered. Perhaps he is right. What can our retort be? We have not yet experienced [erfuhren] anything.
But let us attempt to raise the mask. What has this adult experienced? What does he wish to prove to us? This above all: he, too, was once young; he, too, wanted what we wanted; he, too, refused to believe his parents, but life has taught him that they were right. Saying this, he smiles in a superior fashion: this will also happen to us—in advance he devalues the years we will live, making them into a time of sweet youthful pranks, of childish rapture, before the long sobriety of serious life. Thus the well—meaning, the enlightened. We know other pedagogues whose bitterness will not even concede to us the brief years of youth; serious and grim, they want to push us directly into life』s drudgery. Both attitudes devalue and destroy our years. More and more we are assailed by the feeling: our youth is but a brief night (fill it with rapture); it will be followed by grand 「experience,」 the years of compromise, impoverishment of ideas, and lack of energy. Such is life. That is what adults tell us, and that is what they experienced.
Yes, that is their experience, this one thing, never anything different: the meaninglessness of life. Its brutality. Have they ever encouraged us to anything great or new or forward-looking? Oh, no, precisely because these are things one cannot experience. All meaning—the true, the good, the beautiful—is grounded within itself. What, then, does experience signify?
And herein lies the secret: because he never raises his eyes to the great and the meaningful, the philistine has taken experience as his gospel. It has become for him a message about life』s commonness. But he has never grasped that there exists something other than experience, that there are values—inexperienceable—which we serve.
Why is life without meaning or solace for the philistine? Because he knows experience and nothing else. Because he himself is desolate and without spirit. And because he has no inner relationship to anything other than the common and the always-already-out-of-date.
We, however, know something different, which experience can neither give to us nor take away: that truth exists, even if all previous thought has been an error. Or: that fidelity shall be maintained, even if no one has done so yet. Such will cannot be taken from us by experience. Yet—are our elders, with their tired gestures and their superior hopelessness, right about one thing—namely, that what we experience will be sorrowful and that only in the inexperienceable can courage, hope, and meaning be given foundation? Then the spirit would be free. But again and again life would drag it down because life, the sum of experience, would be without solace.
We no longer understand such questions, however. Do we still lead the life of those unfamiliar with the spirit? Whose sluggish ego is buffeted by life like waves against the rocks? No. Each of our experiences has its content. We ourselves invest them with content by means of our own spirit—he who is thoughtless is satisfied with error. 「You will never find the truth!」 he exclaims to the researcher. 「That is my experience.」 For the researcher, however, error is only an aid to truth (Spinoza). Only to the mindless [Geistlosen] is experience devoid of meaning and spirit. To the one who strives, experience may be painful, but it will scarcely lead him to despair.
In any event, he would never obtusely give up and allow himself to be anaesthetized by the rhythm of the philistine. For the philistine, you will have noted, only rejoices in every new meaninglessness. He remains in the right. He reassures himself: spirit does not really exist. Yet no one demands harsher submission or greater 「awe」 before the 「spirit.」 For if he were to become critical, then he would have to create as well. That he cannot do. Even the experience of spirit, which he undergoes against his will, becomes for him mindless [geistlos].
Tell him
That when he becomes a manHe should revere the dreams of his youth.1Nothing is so hateful to the philistine as the 「dreams of his youth.」 And most of the time, sentimentality is the protective camouflage of his hatred. For what appeared to him in his dreams was the voice of the spirit, calling him once, as it does everyone. It is of this that youth always reminds him,? eternally and ominously. That is why he is antagonistic toward youth. He tells young people of that grim, overwhelming experience and teaches them to laugh at themselves. Especially since 「to experience」 [Erleben] without spirit is comfortable, if unredeemable.
Again: we know a different experience. It can be hostile to spirit and destructive to many blossoming dreams. Nevertheless, it is the most beautiful, most untouchable, most immediate because it can never be without spirit while we remain young. As Zarathustra says, the individual can experience himself only at the end of his wandering. The philistine has his own 「experience」; it is the eternal one of spiritlessness. The youth will experience spirit, and the less effortlessly he attains greatness, the more he will encounter spirit everywhere in his wanderings and in every person. —When he becomes a man, the youth will be compassionate. The philistine is intolerant.
Written in 1913; published pseudonymously in Der Anfang, 1913-1914. Translated by Lloyd Spencer and Stefan Jost.
Notes1. Friedrich Schiller, Don Carlos, IV, 21, lines 4287-4289.?我只聽我喜歡的人的話，而不去針對「話」。
因為話很難去驗證，而對方的氣質和動機卻可以判斷。簡單點，讓一切簡單點：
1、看這人是否足夠牛X。
2、看他利益是否和你一致。
平常的小忠告呢，時刻提醒自己，當作警戒線就好。
接下來，我們只談談那些會改變我們人生立志的過來忠告。
忠告這種東西很惱人，它都已經忠了，怎麼會是虛假的話呢？
他們都是過來人，經歷的總要比我多，可是對於某件事，過來人的想法和我的不一樣，我要不要相信他們呢？
要知道，忠告，可能只是忠於那些說出它們的人；而過來人，只是過了他們自己的路罷了。
你當然可以完完全全毫無保留地相信他們，只不過呢，你只是把他們過去的路，換了個新的方式又重走了一遍，而已。
這樣的路，真的是我們想要的嗎？
人，都會在為夢想而逆風飛翔的道路上撞得頭破血流。
這結局不幸，有些人選擇放棄決定認栽，他們看不到希望了，或者說，他們不想看到希望了。
這些人對自己的失敗惱羞成怒，但殘存的一點點熱血卻又讓他們不甘變成現在這個模樣，於是最初的這些人開始自我欺騙，而到了現在，我們中的大多數，從小的時候，就開始用那些所謂過來人的邏輯欺騙自己：
那些從不努力學習所以成績不理想的人，他們說中考高考全是狗屁，某某某就是沒上大學但是現在變成成功名人的。
那些為了青春的愛情而飛蛾撲火最後燈熄火滅的人，他們說青春需要一次轟轟烈烈的戀愛，不然，就算是白過了青春。
那些才華配不上夢想迷茫失意徹夜難眠的人，他們說社會本就殘酷，沒錢沒權什麼事都辦不成。
遺憾的是，那些用某某某的勵志故事舉例的人，大多都沒能寫出屬於自己的勵志故事，到頭來，還是會後悔為什麼高中的時候自己沒能好好學習考個好大學多點選擇權；
那些為了愛情而放縱不羈愛自由的人，大多數最後還是會懊惱為什麼沒有早點遇見那個能夠陪伴餘生的人，為什麼白白經歷了那麼多痛苦的失敗的感情；
那些抱怨著社會殘酷的人，多數都沒有為自己的才華養精蓄銳，終究還是垂頭喪氣地過完了一生。
他們用這些自甘平庸的借口安慰著自己，
他們覺得這還不夠，
他們想把這些失敗變得名正言順，
他們想要更多的人相信這些弱者的託辭，
他們看了看同輩那些成功的人，發現這些話在他們面前顯得可悲可笑，
於是呢，最好的辦法是，把這些話冠以忠告之名，送給那些涉世未深的後來人，
然後，他們就可以帶著一種真理創始人的心安理得入睡了。
而這些所有的基礎是，他們在這個方面失敗了。
他們敗了夢想敗了愛情甚至是敗了人生。
可悲的是，很多後來人學會了這些弱者的託辭，加之延伸，靈活應用。
可是你要知道，他們拍著胸脯驕傲地說自己是過來人的時候，正是在拚命地掩蓋自己心中遺憾和後悔留下的疤痕啊。
畢竟，當每個人的心中都有疤痕的時候，也許這些疤痕看起來就不足為奇了。
你又何嘗不想考上一所好的大學，擁有一段矢志不渝從一而終的愛情，在社會中堅定而又頑強地生存下去呢？
「可不想讓自己沉溺於虛榮，掙扎於詆毀，磨滅你本該擁有的自在歡愉，真情實性。 那你就要記住，知道你自己是誰，比知道他們是誰重要。——貝爾 格里爾斯
失敗的人總想看到更多失敗的人，
所以能夠過上自己想要生活的人少了一點，
相信了過來人忠告的人也就多了一點，
而且更可怕的是，少的人會越來越少，而多的人呢，會越來越多。
你能聽到的大部分所謂人生指南，只不過是運氣好的人發出的胡言亂語。——嚎天鬼
也有可能呢，是運氣差但又不願改變的人心中的自我安慰。
所以啊，願你認真對待經手的每一件小事，相信自己的追求，謹慎過來人那些會改變自己初心的忠告，既有自信也要謙卑；
也願你虛懷若谷，事無巨細，有一顆不屈才的心。
無價之寶
所以說"聽過很多道理，依然過不好這一生"