猩氏車評：阿爾法羅密歐 Stelvio

02-20

THE CLARKSON REVIEW: 2017 ALFA ROMEO STELVIO

An SUV poster boy at last. Yes, it』s Italian

終於有台能登海報的SUV了。是的，這是個亞平寧帥哥

I HAVE driven the latest Audi Q5 and can think of absolutely nothing interesting to say about it. It』s a well-made box that costs some money and produces some emissions and, frankly, I』d rather use Uber.

我近期試駕了新奧迪Q5，對此我毫無佳言以對。這就是個精工細作，排放污染，消耗錢財的盒子，說實話，還不如嘀嘀打車

No, really. Who』s going to wake up in the morning, sweating like a dyslexic in a spelling test, because their new Q5 is arriving that day? What child is going to stick a poster of a car such as this on its bedroom wall? Who』s going to think how hard they』ll have to work to pay for the damn thing and reckon it』s worth the sweat? No one is. You buy a car like this in the way you buy washing-up liquid. And who wants to read 1,200 words about a mildly updated bottle of Fairy Liquid?

真的，誰會大清早醒來，像拼寫測試里的閱讀障礙者一樣汗流浹背，只是因為他們的新Q5送到了？哪個孩童會貼上這種車的海報？誰會揮汗如雨地工作只為能讓買車的錢值價？沒有傻子這樣，買這車就和買洗滌靈一樣，誰會認全「小仙女液」背後的1200字說明呢？

What I can tell you before I move on is that I hated its engine. Volkswagen』s post-Dieselgate 2-litre turbo is possibly the most boring power unit fitted to any car at any time. It』s about as exciting as the motor in your washing machine. By which I mean, you only really notice it if it goes wrong. Which you hope it will in the Audi, because then you can call an Uber. At least that』ll smell interesting. And come with some unusual opinions.

事先聲明，我恨死這引擎了。大眾排放門後的2.0T可能是有史以來最無聊的引擎了。就和洗衣機的馬達差不多帶勁兒。也就是說，只有壞了才能發現有台引擎。這正是你對奧迪的期盼，起碼你就能打滴滴了。至少有蜜汁芳香和司機古靈精怪的觀點

I』ll be honest with you. I loathe all the current crop of so-called SUVs, except those I dislike intensely. I cannot see the point of driving around in a car that』s slower, more expensive and thirstier than a normal saloon or estate. It just seems idiotic.

實話實說，我痛恨當下這批「所謂」的「SUV」，除了重度厭惡的那批。我不懂開著一台，更慢，更貴，更饑渴的車有啥用。純粹腦殘

But then I had to make a brief trip to Tuscany recently, and once I』d negotiated a path through Alan Yentob and Polly Toynbee and Melvyn Bragg and emerged into Pisa airport』s car park, I found a man offering me the keys to Alfa Romeo』s new Stelvio.

然而近期我又不得不小憩於Tuscany（義大利），一旦和Alan Yentob（BBC藝術鑒賞節目主持人）Polly Toynbee（衛報專欄作家）Melvyn Bragg（高雅藝術鑒賞節目主持人）一同抵達Pisa機場的停車場時，我找到了給我Stelvio車鑰匙的人

Named after a remote Alpine pass in northern Italy, this is a direct rival of the Q5 and all the other mid-range jacked-up estates whose names I can』t be bothered to remember. In short, it』s a Giulia saloon on stilts, and I was determined to hate every bit of it.

以義大利北部阿爾卑斯羊腸小道命名，這是硬肛當下各種記不住名的嗑大力旅行車的新選擇。簡而言之，踩高蹺的Giulia，我已經準備好對此恨之入骨

The man was very keen to have his photograph taken with me and to say how much he enjoyed a programme called Top Gear, but I wasn』t listening. I was thinking: 「What in the name of all that』s holy was Alfa Romeo thinking of?」

他興緻勃勃的和我拍照，告訴我他超級愛一個據稱Top Gear的節目，而我對此無暇顧及。我在想「阿爾法羅密歐到底在想什麼？腦子進水了？」

If you have a heritage as glamorous and as achingly cool as Alfa』s, why would you want to make a bloody school-run car? That is like Armani deciding to make carrier bags.

如果你有一段和阿爾法羅密歐一樣迷人又痛並快樂著的歷史，為何你想要一台在城區上下學接送孩子的阿爾法羅密歐？就和阿瑪尼出購物袋一樣毫無意義

Alfa』s engineers are at pains to explain that, while it may look like an SUV, it doesn』t feel like one to drive. They say all the power from the engine is sent to the rear wheels, but then, if traction is lost, up to half the power is sent instantly to the front. They also speak about carbon-fibre prop shafts and much lightweight aluminium in the body, and I stood there thinking: 「Yes, but it』s still a bloody carrier bag.」

阿爾法羅密歐的工程師解釋起來很痛苦，雖然看起來是SUV，但開起來非也。他們說引擎動力全部送抵後輪，然而喪失牽引力時，最多一半的動力會轉到前方。他們還說到碳纖維傳動軸和鋁合金輕量化車身這種玩意兒，我呆若木雞「對，但這TM還是個破購物袋」

I had much the same sense of teeth-gnashing rage when I first encountered Maserati』s Levante, and that turned out to be just as bad as I』d feared. But as the man brought over more friends for more selfies, I started to gaze more carefully at the Stelvio, and there was no getting round the fact that, actually, it』s quite good-looking.

我能感受到Levante問世時的咬牙切齒，而這車和我預料的一樣垃圾（Levante大猩猩只給了2星）但當那傢伙拉人來合影的間隙，我開始仔細打量Stelvio，不可否認的就是，這車其實很好看

Eventually, after I』d posed with all the police force, everyone in border security and 3,000 taxi drivers, all of whom loved Top Gear, it was time to step into the Stelvio, and there was also no getting round the fact it was a nice place to sit. Way, way nicer than the Audi.

最終，在和那些熱愛Top Gear的當地警方，邊防站以及3000的哥師傅完成合影后，我坐進Stelvio，不可否認這車坐起來很舒服。比燈廠舒服多了

There』s some genuine sculpture in there. You get the impression in a Q5 that the dash was built with all the care of a kitchen worktop. It』s just a housing for the dials and the switches. Alfa has made its one something worth looking at. I suppose it』s an Italian thing. It』s why Siena is a better place to sit and people-watch than Dortmund.

車內還是很阿爾法羅密歐的。印象中奧迪Q5里都是宜家級別的內飾。只是儀錶和開關的堆砌。阿爾法羅密歐的內飾則引人駐足。我猜應該是義大利貨色。這就是為啥錫耶納比多特蒙德更適合獵艷

Setting the sat nav, however, was a challenge. This is because every town in Italy has 5,000 letters in its name, and then, when you finally manage to type it in, the sat nav asks which Santa Lucia del Menolata di Christoponte you would like to set as the destination. And it turns out there are 5,000 towns with that name.

然而，校準導航則很麻煩。因為每個義大利城鎮都有5000個字母的名字，然後，當你終於輸入正確後，導航問你要去哪個錫耶納露西亞德梅龍拉塔迪克里斯托芬特。顯然，又有5000個同名同姓城市

Eventually, though, as Alan and Melvyn and Polly were returning to the airport from their week of brainstorming, I had the right town and fired up the engine. The diesel engine. Oh, dear Lord. A diesel Alfa Romeo SUV.

最終，就在三位同行者回機場準備頭腦風暴時，我找到了一個合適的鎮子，點火。柴油機？？？上帝呀，柴油阿爾法羅密歐SUV……..

The funny thing is, though, that because everyone in Italy has a diesel-powered car, it didn』t feel all that weird to be clattering out of the car park. And then it felt fine, because soon I was on the racetrack known as an autostrada, where it felt very powerful. The figures say it』ll go from 0 to 62mph in 6.6 seconds, which is good, but it』s the mid-range surge that impresses most of all. It』s a surge you just don』t get from Audi』s Q5. And it means you can always break free from the walnut-faced peasant who has affixed his aged Fiat Ritmo to your back bumper at 100mph.

好笑的是，因為義大利人手一台柴油車，悶悶作響地出庫不算尷尬。然後就沒啥問題了，因為我很快來到一處叫Autostrada（賽道）的地方，這裡該車能火力全開。數據顯示百公里加速6.6秒，這很贊，但中端扭矩的爆發才是最打動我的。奧迪Q5這種渣渣對此無能為力。也就是說你總能擺脫身後面無表情的破農民的Fiat Ritmo以100MPH後入的時刻

And it』s not as if you』re leaving a trail of death in your wake because, despite the power and the torque, this engine is considerably cleaner than the diesel Porsche puts in its Macan. And Alfa says it』ll do almost 60mpg.

而且即使火力全開也不會走上地獄之路，因為儘管有此等神力，引擎比Macan的柴油機還要乾淨，而且官方油耗60MPG

So it』s as fast as the badge would suggest, but does it handle as well as Alfa promises? Well, obviously, as it』s more than 7in higher than the saloon and has longer springs, it』s squidgier, which would be fine if Alfa hadn』t given it the same superfast steering setup.

那麼，阿爾法羅密歐這個牌子速度是有保證的，那麼操控呢？額，顯然，這車有更長的彈簧以及7英寸的高度提升，顯然比轎車要軟很多，如果沒有那種超快的轉向還是可以接受的。

The tiniest movement of the wheel causes a big change of direction, which is great when you are on a track in a low-riding 「car」, but when you are on the autostrada, on stilts, with a Ritmo up your chuff and a lorry up front that has suddenly decided to wander into your lane because the driver is watching pornography on his phone rather than the road ahead, it can be a bit alarming.

方向盤小小打動就能大幅度轉向，這在低矮的賽道「轎車」上很好，但SUV上高速，聽著自己的BGM，而前方的大貨車司機還在邊擼邊開車地變道，這就有點嚇人了

It takes time to learn to think your way round corners, but when you get there, I must say this is a genuinely exciting car to drive. It doesn』t feel as cumbersome as all the other SUVs, and you get the impression it was engineered by people who were involved because they wanted to be. Not because they』d done something wrong.

要花點時間學習正確的過彎方法，但掌握了過彎，這車實乃刺激之車。不像其他SUV一樣笨重，然後你能感覺到這車是心血來潮之作，而非瞎拼亂湊之作

And because of that — because it』s a big, practical car with a huge boot and folding seats and lots of cubbyholes that』s also an Alfa Romeo — it』s the only SUV that』s quite tempting. It may even be irresistible when Alfa launches the version with the 500-horsepower petrol engine.

正因如此——因為這是台無比實用的阿爾法羅密歐——這也是唯一一台誘人的SUV。500HP的四葉草版本登場後會更讓人難以拒絕

總評4星

I loathe SUVs but this ones vaguely tempting

我唯一想買的SUV

AT A GLANCE

驚鴻一瞥

HANDLING 操控 3星
COMFORT 舒適 4星
PERFORMANCE 性能 4星
INTERIOR 內飾 4星
PRACTICALITY 實用 4星
COSTS 價格 4星

PROS

我們喜歡

Looks surprisingly good

外觀很帥氣

Diesel engines arent very Alfa but at least its a good example

柴油引擎用在阿爾法羅密歐上是不太妥當，但是這具引擎很不錯

Quite practical

很實用

CONS

我們討厭

An SUV from Alfa? Really?

阿爾法造SUV了？我不能接受

Handling is fidgety on motorway

高速上的操控有點嚇人，方向盤太靈敏

Tricky sat nav

導航很費勁

SPECIFICATIONS 參數

VARIANT 名稱: Stelvio 2.2 210 CV AT8 AWD
PRICE 價格: ￡33,000 (est.)
ENGINE 引擎: 2,143cc, 4 cylinders, turbodiesel
POWER 馬力: 207bhp @ 3,750rpm
TORQUE 扭力: 347 lb ft @ 1,750rpm
TRANSMISSION 變速箱: 8-speed automatic, four-wheel drive
ACCELERATION 加速: 0-62mph: 6.6sec
TOP SPEED 極速: 134mph
FUEL 油耗: 59.8mpg
CO2 排放: 127g/km
DIMENSIONS 三圍: 4,687mm x 1,903mm x 1,671mm

翻譯：GearKnobs字幕組—進化世代（ALMF3512）