猩氏車評：奧迪 RS5 2017款

猩氏車評：AUDI RS5

Big roar, waggly tail: that』s my kind of lion

笙簫震天，神龍擺尾，這才是我的獅王

BACK IN the Eighties, BMW came up with the idea of making an innocuous-looking saloon that was very fast and utterly beautiful to drive. It was called the M5 and it earned a reputation for being one of the world』s great cars.

遙想80年代，寶馬想出了賣相無辜，速若疾風，駕乘優雅的車型。該車美其名曰M5，也獲取了世界良車之一的席位

All the other manufacturers could see straight away that BMW had created something of a masterpiece, so they decided to not respond in any way at all. And that』s weird. It』s like all the country』s football teams looking at what Chelsea did last year and thinking: 「We can』t possibly match that, so let』s not bother trying.」

當時其他廠商都能看出這是寶馬的絕世佳作，於是對此毫無回應。這很怪，如同全球所有俱樂部看了看切爾西戰績然後說：我們無法與之匹敵，那就不要胡思亂想了

Eventually, after BMW had had the market all to itself for years and years, Mercedes joined forces with the tuning company AMG to create a high-performace range of cars, but these weren』t really direct rivals for the fast Beemers. They were big and smoky and loud and quite soft. They were muscle cars, really, in Hugo Boss suits.

最終，在寶馬安逸多年後，賓士帶著改裝部門AMG打造的一系列高性能車參戰，但這些其實不是高速寶馬的直接對手。這些車碩大 多煙 吵鬧而且很柔軟。這些都是雨果博士西裝加身的純血肌肉

And Audi? Well, it started to fit quite powerful engines to its four-wheel-drive models to create the RS line-up, but, again, they didn』t have the magic of BMW』s M cars — the delicacy.

奧迪呢？額，現在他們開始給4WD型號加持很有力的引擎以創造RS陣營，但依舊，它們缺少了M的精髓—精緻感

If you really knew your motoring onions — if you really knew how to trail-brake and feel the limit of adhesion — you were never going to be satisfied with a nose-heavy Audi or a wayward Mercedes. If you were a proper driver, you』d always go for the BMW.

如果你很懂行，知道如何延遲剎車入彎，體驗抓地力的極限，你永遠不會滿足於頭重腳輕的奧迪或者隨性自由的賓士。真正的車手，永遠開著寶馬

However, in recent months the BMW bandwagon has sort of fallen over. There is no M5 on sale at the moment, and while the M2 is a joy, its bigger and better-known brother the M3 is a bit of a dog. The steering is actually fairly terrible. And an M car with terrible steering? That』s like an omelette made with rancid eggs.

然而，近期寶馬的潮流已經褪去。時下沒有新M5在售，雖然M2誠然有趣，更大更知名的M3大哥則是落水狗。轉向實際上很垃圾。而一款轉向垃圾的M？就像臭雞蛋做的煎蛋卷一樣噁心

And to make life even more difficult for BMW, other rivals have finally woken up. Alfa Romeo can sell you the Giulia Quadrifoglio, which has three-quarters of a Ferrari engine and an exhaust note to stir the soul. It would be my choice.

而現在的寶馬更不好過，其他對手都覺醒了。阿爾法羅密歐有Giulia QV，3/4的躍馬引擎血統以及銷魂蝕骨的排氣聲浪。這就是我的選擇

Then you have Mercedes, which has just produced something called the E 63 S. Its styling is a bit in-your-face for my taste — and for yours, too, unless you live in Dubai — but it』s not like any AMG we』ve seen before. It has the power, but it』s harnessed into a proper package. That』s a serious car for serious people, make no mistake.

然後還有賓士，剛剛推出了一個叫E63 S東西。外觀在我看來有點蹬鼻子上臉的感覺—對你亦然，除非你是迪拜土豪—但和其他之前AMG不同的是。這車的動力，受到了良好的管制。這是嚴肅板正的車，絕無戲言

And then there』s Audi, which has just launched the car you see in the photographs. It』s called the RS 5 coupé, it costs ￡62,900 and it』s borderline sensational.

然後就是奧迪，就是圖中這車。RS5 Coupe，售價62900英鎊，引起了無國界的轟動

I was hoping Audi would have fitted it with the 394bhp five-cylinder engine from the TT RS, because when historians look back at what they』ll call the 「petrol age」, they will describe that as one of the all-time greats.

我本來期待奧迪會選擇TT RS的394HP 5缸機，這樣歷史學家回首過去那個「汽油時代」，他們會美其名曰永恆經典

But Audi has gone for a twin-turbocharged 2.9-litre V6. Which gives 444 brake horsepowers. And 600 Eurotorques, or 442 lb ft. That』s a lot in a car of this type.

然而奧迪選擇了一台雙渦輪2.9 V6。444HP的動力，600歐洲牛米，442北美磅尺。以這個級別來說算是很充沛的動力

But the bald figures of 0-62mph in 3.9 seconds and a top speed of 155mph — or 174mph with the optional Dynamic package — tell only half the story. To get the other half, you have to go behind the wheel and open it up. And, ooh, you』ll be grinning. Actually, to start with, you won』t be grinning. You』ll be looking as though a lion has just come into your kitchen, because, God, it』s alarmingly quick off the line. I once saw someone put a mustard-covered hot dog up a police horse』s bottom. Well, the Audi sets off like that.

百公里加速3.9s，155MPH(動態選裝包174MPH)極速只講出了一半的故事。剩下的，你要親自駕駛方知一二。而且，你會會心一笑。實際上，一開始你不會笑，一開始就像獅子沖入你的廚房，因為，天吶，這車起步快的嚇人。我見過有人用芥末熱狗爆了警馬的菊。這車起步就是這麼快

Of course, there have previously been Audis that were fast in a straight line. But that』s all they could do: go in a straight line. You would be sitting there, sawing away at the wheel and shouting, 「Turn, you bastard, turn」, but they rarely did. A nose-heavy layout and four-wheel drive saw to that.

當然，之前也有直線飛快的奧迪。但那些車只能直線。你在車裡，快要把方向盤鋸下來地喊道『轉呀，你個渣渣』但這些車還是很推。頭重腳輕的4WD都是這樣

The RS 5 is different. It has a bitey front and a waggly tail that is just what the enthusiastic driver wants. Oh, and while the ride is definitely firm, it doesn』t pitter-patter like Audis of old. This, rest assured, is a properly sorted, well-engineered and really quite well-priced car.

新RS5不同。進攻性極強的車頭，愛晃的車尾，這就是死忠車迷想要的。雖然路感還是江硬，但不會像老車一樣啪啪啪。這車，毫無疑問，是台精工細作，定價合理的好車

It』s also good-looking. The wheels are worthy of a spot in Tate Modern, the rear side windows are a nod to the Nissan GT-R — a comparable car, in fact — and the space isn』t bad either for a two-door coupé.

外觀同樣出色。輪圈可以入選泰特現代藝術館藏品，側面後窗回應GT-R—同級對手，實際上後排空間以Coupe來說不錯

So there we are. Another kick in the teeth for BMW』s M division. A car you can drive, safe in the knowledge that the cognoscenti will give you a discreet nod at the lights — a recognition that you』ve made a wise choice.

那麼，這又是對M的當頭一棒。一台你能開，又能被行家讚賞的車—證明你做出了明智的選擇

And there』s more. I was in Knightsbridge the other night, having dinner on the pavement (not like a homeless person — I was at the Enterprise, which is a pub, not a spaceship. Well, it was a pub. It』s a bar and restaurant now.) Anyway, every third word I tried to say was drowned out by the bangs from wealthy young gentlemen』s anti-lag systems echoing off the walls like a firefight for the centre of Homs.

而且，有一天我在騎士橋人行道上就餐（不是露宿街頭，我可是在企業酒館，不是飛船，那時的酒館，現在也是餐館）無論如何，我說出的每三個字都會被敘利亞火併般的偏時點火淹沒

They went round and round the area in their hotted-up supercars until even I was pissed off. So you can imagine how my fellow diners felt. Which is why they will vote for anyone who makes petrol illegal.

他們周而復始的開著熱辣超跑繞圈都能把我激怒。你也就能想到我的同伴怎麼看了。這也是他們投票讓汽油非法化的原因

I sense this everywhere these days. People are fed up with owning cars. They use Ubers and trains. And those who maintain their interest in all things automotive are treated with the sort of scorn and disdain that I reserve for golfers and freemasons.

近來隨處可見。人們對有車的生活厭倦了。換乘了滴滴和地鐵。而他們把汽車相關的事情看作高爾夫和共濟會一樣可恨可厭的東西

So if you』re going to buy a really quick car that you can enjoy when no one is looking, it needs to be discreet. And the Audi is.

也就是說如果你要買台能夠獨享的快車，必須要謹慎選擇。燈廠就是一個備選

There is, however, a problem. If you』re the sort of keen driver who might be interested in this car, the chances are that the vehicle you currently drive doesn』t have four rings on the grille.

然而，有個問題，如果你真是渴望駕駛的愛好者，那你現在的車應該不是四個圈的

Which means you will have no idea how the Audi』s sat-nav-multimedia-connectivity system works. You will stab away at various buttons and then mutter something under your breath and push a few more, and eventually you』ll get out of your test vehicle, slam the door and buy the new version of the car you drive now.

也就是說你不懂奧迪的導航—多媒體交互系統怎麼用的。你會亂動按鈕，大肆吐槽，再按幾個其他的，最終你下車，摔門而出，然後買下更新款

This is becoming a serious problem. I write on a PC and cannot change to a Mac because I can』t be bothered to waste my life learning my way around its systems. I use an iPhone because it』s familiar, so when someone says Google』s latest effort is better, I don』t care, because I don』t know how it works.

這是個很大的問題。我是PC用戶，也不能換蘋果系統，因為我懶得搞清如何用好蘋果系統。我用iPhone因為我已經熟悉了操作，這也就是當別人推薦谷歌的最新科技時，我不管，因為我不懂

It』s increasingly the same story with cars. I understand how to silence the sat nav woman in my Volkswagen Golf and how to make Apple CarPlay work. I know how to reset the trip computer and to engage the self-parking system. But when I get into a BMW, or a Mercedes, I do not know straight away how to do any of that.

現在的車也越來越像這樣。我知道如何讓我的高爾夫的導航靜音，鏈接蘋果的CarPlay。我知道如何重置行車電腦，啟動自動泊車。但讓我坐進寶馬或者賓士，我就一無所知了

The days when a car was three pedals and a steering wheel are over. They』re electronic now, and much of their appeal is their ability to steer round jams and stop before an accident happens and play the music from our phone.And in Audi all this stuff is bloody difficult. So you won』t buy one. And that』s a shame

三個踏板一個方向盤的機械時代結束了。現在是電氣化時代，大多數功能只是躲避擁堵，緊急剎車或者播放音樂。而奧迪讓這一切無比艱難。你也不會買下一台，簡直可惜.

總評4星

翻譯：GearKnobs字幕組—進化世代（ALMF3512）