猩氏車評—名爵MG6

02-20

The Clarkson Review:MG6

MG hammered

MG酩酊大醉版

According to the promotional material, the MG6 was conceived, designed, engineered and built in Britain. It』s a great British name, and a great British car. A slice of Jerusalem among the dark, satanic mills of Germanic nonsense. A UKIP pin-up girl with windscreen wipers. Brown beer with a tax disc.

根據宣傳材料，MG6構思設計機械部件和製造都在英國本土完成。這是一個偉大的不列顛之名（Morris Garage…….Morris Marina/Mini/Oxford/MGB MGC/Metro…….跑車和民用車製造商）黑暗中的耶路撒冷聖光，德意志瘋狂的撒旦大軍。有雨刷的獨立黨佳麗。有納稅證的扎啤

This is a car for people who grew up dreaming of driving a sporty B but who are now to be found at home, in their wing-backs, flicking through the channels and muttering about how there』s nothing to watch on television these days. It』s a car that takes them back to their youth. A car that reminds them that Britain was, and still is, the greatest country on earth. It』s the Spitfire, the hovercraft and Nelson. It』s Churchill. It』s Elgar. It』s Wordsworth and Shakespeare and Brunel.

這是為那些小時候就夢想有一台MGB跑車，現在卻在家裡無聊調台怒斥沒節目看的人準備的車。這是帶他們回望青蔥的車。一台提醒他們，大不列顛曾經，現在依舊是，世界上最棒的國家。這是噴火戰機，氣墊船以及納爾遜（英國19世紀傳奇海軍將領）這是丘吉爾首相，埃爾加（英國作曲家）華茲華斯（英國詩人）莎士比亞（英國詩人）布魯內爾（大西部鐵路創建者）

Except it isn』t. Because it turns out that the MG6 is actually built in China by SAIC Motor — the company that now owns MG Rover (though not the name Rover). It is then shipped over to Birmingham, where a small team inserts the engine. Claiming that this car is British is like claiming that an Airfix model was built in your front room. It wasn』t. It was merely assembled there.

然而並非如此。因為事實證明MG6實際上在中國的上汽製造—現在擁有MG和羅孚（雖然不叫羅浮）然後運到伯明翰，一小隊人馬安裝引擎。稱其為英國製造就像你說在自家大廳造了個Airfix（英國拼裝模型老牌廠商）一樣。並非如此。也就是在家裡東拼西湊而已

Yes, the car we buy here was styled in Britain, and some of the chassis work was done here too, with — whisper it — German components. But in essence, while this car may be pretending to be Kenneth More, it』s as Chinese as a chopstick.

誠然，該車是英國設計的，底盤也有部分英國血統。不過—小聲點兒—是德國的部件。但本質上，雖然它在裝作是Kenneth More（擅演英國紳士的喜劇演員）這車和筷子一樣天朝風滿滿

This is not necessarily a bad thing. Because, typically, what happens when a Far Eastern country starts exporting cars to the West is: you get a substandard product with a price that』s so low, no one really cares that it』s held together with wallpaper paste and has an engine that sounds as if it』s running on gravel.

這不一定是壞事。因為，顯然，當遠東國家向西方出口汽車就表明：草根價的次品貨讓人完全不在意漿糊連接或者碎石動力的引擎

Then, in an alarmingly short time, the cars are suddenly as good as their European rivals. Toyota went from the Toyopet to the Lexus LFA in about five weeks. One minute Kia was making the woefully awful Rio, and the next it had the bloody good Cee』d.

然後，在驚人的短時間裡，遠東車就和歐洲貨色一樣出色。豐田從Toyopet（豐田JDM的一個分支，以山寨甲殼蟲起家）到LFA只花了短短五周。前一刻起亞還在造糟糕透頂的Rio，下一秒就有了倍兒TM棒的Cee』d

The company behind the MG6 started with an advantage. It didn』t begin with a jungle clearing and a workforce that thought it was making dragons: it began with the underpinnings of the Rover 75 and employed people who navigated to work with their iPhone 5. In theory, then, the MG6 would drive quite well and come with a DFS everything-must-go price tag. Which would make it a tempting proposition even without the nonsensical Last Night of the Proms-style marketing.

MG6的母公司有個優勢。它沒有當清道夫，而工人也不是自詡龍裔的人群：基於羅浮75改進而來，再雇些拿著腎5上班的傢伙。理論上，MG6應該是駕駛感覺出色自帶英國零售的「江南皮革廠」抄底價簽。這讓該車即使沒有「昨夜舞會雲雨時」的廣告也很誘人

So why, I wondered, was it so hard to book a test drive? Excuses were always made. Other phones were ringing. Other priorities had to be addressed.

我就奇怪了，為何試駕這麼難預定呢？總是有個借口。我接個電話或者其他VIP先來了

Well, last week I sneaked behind the wheel for a short drive, and very quickly the reason became obvious. This car is not bad at all. It』s hysterically terrible.

額，上周我偷偷試駕了一小段路，一切搪塞就說得通了。這車不是渣，是沒有下限的渣

Let』s start with the ignition key. You know those cheap electronic toys that you buy children from the gift shop on a cross-Channel ferry? Well, this has the quality of the wrapping in which they are sold. And naturally it didn』t work.

從一鍵啟動開始。你知道你給熊孩子在渡輪禮品店買的廉價玩具嗎？額，這個按鍵的包裝和那些垃圾一模一樣。自然不會管用

I learnt this outside the police station in Ladbroke Grove in west London. The traffic lights went green and I set off. But I didn』t because the car stalled and it would not restart. So I pushed it to the side of the road, where after several attempts the diesel engine finally clattered into life.

我在倫敦西部蘭仆林的警察局了解到。綠燈行然後走人。但並非如此，因為這車熄火了（自動起停）然後就再也啟動不了了。我就只能推車下路，幾番周折終於讓柴油機復活了

At the next set of lights exactly the same thing happened again. And so at the third set I made sure it didn』t stall by summoning 3,000 revs and setting off nice and gently. This made the whole of Notting Hill smell of frazzled clutch.

再下一個燈也是一樣的破事兒。所以在第三個燈我為確保不熄火就轟油3000RPM悠然起步。這讓整個諾丁山（英國倫敦）充斥著離合香消玉殞之氣息

There are some other interesting faults as well. This is not a small car. It』s a little larger than a Ford Focus and a little smaller than a Mondeo. But inside it has the headroom of a coffin.

還有些其他有趣的破事兒。這車不算小了。比福克斯稍大，比蒙迪歐稍小。但頭部空間堪比棺材

Speaking of which, it didn』t do especially well in its Euro NCAP safety tests. The airbag didn』t inflate sufficiently well to stop the dummy driver』s head hitting the steering wheel, and while the feet and neck were well looked after, protection for the thighs and genitals was only 「marginal」. I make no observation about that. Yet. Of course, as it』s a Chinese car that』s assembled in Longbridge, you would not expect much in the way of quality. And it doesn』t disappoint.

說到棺材，歐洲NCAP對它的評分不高。氣囊充氣不足以防止司機頭頂方向盤，然而雙腳和脖頸還是很好地留住了，大腿和胯下的保護「微乎其微」這我倒是感覺不出來。然而，當然作為一台長橋組裝的天朝渣，你也不苛求質量了。這不是失望哦！

It』s a widely held belief that mass- produced plastic was developed around the turn of last century. Well, the dashboard on the MG6 appears to be fabricated from a plastic that pre-dates that. I think it may follow a recipe laid down in the Middle Ages, when villagers would use cattle horns to make rudimentary windows.

眾所周知量產塑料大約在上世紀末期出現。額，MG6的儀錶盤塑料可能比那還早。我認為可能是中世紀的神秘配方，那可是牛角拼窗戶的時代

Naturally there are many sharp edges. There』s one in particular on the steering wheel that could probably give you an elegant paper cut on that sensitive bit of webbing between your index finger and thumb.

自然有許多稜角。方向盤上還有專門一個能給你食指和拇指之間剪窗花的割口

Then there』s the kung-fu cupholder. It』s not damped, as it would be in a normal European car, so when you push the button your drink leaps out onto your passenger』s leg like Cato from the Pink Panther films. And it is a struggle to get any can I』ve ever seen to fit in it.

還有所謂功夫杯架。還不是歐洲車裡的減震版，也就是說當你按鍵時飲料會像粉紅豹里的Cato探長（電視劇版主角）一樣跳到乘客的腿上。而且貌似任何我見過的易拉罐都塞不進去

I shall talk now about the steering. It』s electric. But only literally. It feels as though the steering wheel is connected to an egg whisk of some kind. Spin it fast enough and the blades turn, causing a vat of creamy milk to start thickening. After this happens it begins to revolve very slowly and that action produces a centrifugal force that turns the front wheels. It』s a neat idea but I』m not sure it works very well.

現在說說轉向。電動助力，但也就是字面上的電動。感覺就像把方向盤連接到打蛋器什麼的上面一樣。轉的夠快打蛋器刀鋒一轉，一大桶牛奶就開始變稠了。此後就開始龜速旋轉產生前輪轉向的離心力。巧妙的方法，但不確定管不管用

As a boy, I used to look at my dad driving and wonder how he knew how much to turn the wheel when going round a corner. Alarmingly, in the MG6 you don』t.

我小時候曾經在想老爹怎麼知道一個彎道轉多少度的。驚人的是，MG6不需要推測

Last weekend in Scotland I encountered many members of the MG Owners』 Club, driving from breakdown to breakdown with dirty fingernails and big grins on their faces. They had their roofs down, despite the cold, and it all looked very hearty and rorty and James May-ish.

上周末我在蘇格蘭遇到許多MG車友，開著那些崩壞再崩壞的車，手上全是油污，滿臉淫笑。他們敞著篷，不懼嚴寒，看起來熱心有趣船長風

The MG6 offers an experience that is nothing like that. It may say MG on the rump but it is as far removed from its predecessors as you are from an amoeba. It』s a carrier bag with a Coco Chanel badge. And I think that』s rotten.

MG6帶給我的感覺和這完全不同。車尾可能還有MG標但和祖先的區別就如同你和變形蟲之間的區別一樣。這是那種打著Coco Chanel標徽的時尚包包，而我認為那是萎靡墮落的象徵

The whole car』s rotten, really, and here』s the clincher. It』s not that cheap. The Magnette model I drove is ￡21,195. And for that you can have a normal car that doesn』t lacerate your fingers, stall, refuse to start, bash your head in every time you go over a bump and ruin your gentleman sausage if you have a crash.

整車一股靡靡之風，這就是問題了。這貨不便宜。我試駕的Magnette版開價21195英鎊。這價格能買到不劃手熄火不啟動過減速帶磕頭又不會在車禍中讓你娘化的普通車

In the whole of April the new MG operation sold 13 cars throughout the whole of the UK. I』m surprised it was that many.

整個四月MG在整個英國賣出13台新車。我很驚訝有這麼多傻子付款

Verdict 總評 ☆☆☆☆

Rotten to the core.

黑心虛偽，墮落到骨子裡了

Factfile參數

MG6 Magnette 1.9 DTi-Tech

Price 價格:

￡21,195

Engine 引擎:

1849cc, 4 cylinders

Power 動力:

148bhp @ 4000rpm

Torque 扭矩:

258 lb ft @ 1800rpm

Transmission 變速箱:

6-speed manual

Acceleration 加速:

0-60mph in 8.9sec

Top speed 極速:

120mph

Fuel 油耗:

53.5mpg

CO2 排放:

139g/km

Dimensions 三圍:

L 4651mm, W 1837mm, H 1472mm

翻譯：GearKnobs字幕組—進化世代（ALMF3512）