When You Are Old, Chinese, and Gay/在中國如果你又老，又是同性戀

范依嬴

第七屆中國彩虹媒體獎最佳英文類

Zhang Guowei, a 76-year-old bisexual veteran, is relishing his

twilight years. 「I couldn』t be happier with my life post-retirement,」

says Zhang, who was a doctor in the army until 1994.

As a former

military officer, Zhang』s monthly pension is 10,000 yuan ($1,440) — five

times the average pension in Changde, the small city in central China』s

Hunan province where he lives with his boyfriend. Zhang divorced his

wife in 2003 and met the love of his life — Wu, who is 40 years younger —

a year later on the internet. 「I expect him to accompany me through the

remainder of my life,」 Zhang tells Sixth Tone after finishing his daily

exercise routine.

Zhang says he is bisexual but prefers men. He

gained support and understanding from his ex-wife and two daughters when

he came out to them in 2003. When he passes on, his assets will be

divided equally among his daughters and his boyfriend. 「My kids have no

problem sharing with Wu because they know he is the one taking care of

me in my final years,」 he says.

The May-December couple have been

living together since 2005 in an apartment provided by the government

for retired army cadres and their families. The 10-story building houses

a dozen veterans in their 60s through 90s, some living alone and others

with their spouses.

When Wu first moved in, Zhang told his neighbors that Wu was his gan erzi, or adopted son, whom he met online. (The Chinese concept of gan erzi

allows for a sort of informal adoption of adults, with no legal or

religious implications.) 「I had this vague idea that they might be gay,」

says 74-year-old Lu Shize, who lives downstairs. 「But it』s none of my

business to ask about his private life,」 Lu adds.

Being gay or not, it doesn』t change the way I see him. We are in our 70s; what』s more important than being happy and healthy? - Lu Shize, 74-year-old retired cadre

Last year, following in other veterans』 footsteps,

Zhang wrote a 218-page autobiography — including his experiences of

recognizing his sexuality — and shared it with his fellow cadres. His

neighbors were very understanding. 「Everyone knows about us, and no one

gossips or gives us a hard time,」 Zhang says.

Lu, who had never

before met any out gay or bisexual men, says he admires Zhang』s courage.

「Being gay or not, it doesn』t change the way I see him,」 Lu says. 「We

are in our 70s; what』s more important than being happy and healthy?」

China』s

population is rapidly aging. The proportion of the population aged 60

or older was more than 16 percent at the end of 2015, according to the Ministry of Civil Affairs, and that number is only set to increase.

The nation』s changing demography brings with it challenges for managing

welfare and health care, especially as fewer seniors are able to count

on their families for support.

Two older men hold a symbolic wedding ceremony in Beijing, Jan. 30, 2013. ChinaFotoPress/VCG

Decades

of family-planning restrictions mean that even seniors who have

children often must become self-reliant, as children born during the

one-child policy can』t afford to support two parents and four

grandparents. As a result, for many elders, being childless is no longer

a major concern or an unusual occurrence.

Wen Xiaojun, 56, is

single and childless. Immediately after he retired in November from

working as a civil servant, he rented an apartment in Sanya, on the

southern island of Hainan, where he is spending six months avoiding the

cold of his hometown in the eastern province of Zhejiang. 「I still feel

young and restless,」 Wen tells Sixth Tone. 「Being childless makes it

easy for me to travel after retirement.」

Like other older people,

LGBT seniors want to have rich, fulfilling, and independent lives. They

hope that retirement will give them the opportunity to focus on what

they truly love.

Wen enjoys his slow-paced life in Sanya. He goes

to exhibitions, takes walks along the beach, plays volleyball with

locals, and sometimes meets up with men he contacts through Blued — a popular gay social app, on which he hopes to find a long-term boyfriend.

But

dating isn』t easy for older gay men. 「Younger generations can build a

relationship quickly by kissing or having sex soon after they meet

offline,」 Wen explains. 「But we want something more spiritual and

stable.」

Similarly, 62-year-old Ah Shan, as he』s called

within the gay community, says that finding a partner is his biggest

problem these days. His finances are secure, as he owns his apartment in

Guangzhou — capital of southern China』s Guangdong province — and

receives a monthly pension of about 5,000 yuan, but he has been single

for four years and is ready for that to change. In the meantime, he is

renting out one of his bedrooms to gay friends so he has some company at

home.

Ah Shan poses for a picture in Guangzhou, Guangdong province, 2013. Courtesy of Ah Shan

Most

gays, lesbians, and bisexuals of Ah Shan』s generation knew little about

their sexual orientation until internet access became available at the

turn of the millennium. Even when Ah Shan was working in the U.S. in the

late 1980s, he refused to consider himself gay because the only

information he』d heard about gay topics in China was AIDS-related or

implied that homosexuality was shameful or immoral. 「I think I was

brainwashed,」 Ah Shan laughs.

Over the last two years, Ah Shan

has been working on a gay oral history project, recording the stories of

older gay men in Guangzhou. He has talked to more than 60 gay men aged

from 60 to 90, who have experienced some of China』s most critical

historic moments, from the Cultural Revolution to the nation』s

opening-up era. 「If we don』t record them now, part of the important

history of LGBT in China will be gone,」 he says.

Many of the men

are married and choose not to come out to their families. 「They go to

this particular park to chat with other gay men in the daytime to

release their emotions, but when the sun goes down, they have to return

home to bear their family responsibilities,」 Ah Shan says with a sigh.

Ah

Shan』s own parents passed away before he was brave enough to tell them

the truth. His mother died in 2000, a year before homosexuality was declassified as a mental illness in China.

Compared

with gay and bisexual men, older women find it even more difficult to

disclose or discuss their sexual orientation. Since 2010, 45-year-old Yu

Shi from Chengdu,

the capital of Sichuan province, has been working on an oral history

project for older same-sex-attracted women across China, but she says

the process of locating participants and persuading them to share their

stories is tough.

「Chinese women are in a weak position in the

family, which doesn』t allow them to speak out for themselves,」 Yu says,

adding that of the 30 or so lesbians who have taken part in the project

over the last six years, only one has come out to her family. Many won』t

divorce their husbands even if they have female partners. 「Chinese

people are very concerned with saving face, and they think it』s a loss

of face to get a divorce if you』re already a grandparent,」 she says.

Yu

and her 40-year-old girlfriend have lived together for over a decade,

but despite their enduring, loving relationship, they can』t enjoy the

security of a formal union, as same-sex marriage is not yet legal in China. Some issues can be resolved by making a will, but others — like legal or medical power of attorney — remain a problem.

According

to Yu, some LGBT seniors who are single and childless have considered

building their own retirement estate where they can live together and

take care of one another. Although they aren』t opposed to regular

nursing homes, Yu says 「they prefer to live in a place where they can

open their hearts and share their experiences with others in the same

circumstances.」

A lesbian couple kiss each other during an event in Shanghai, Dec. 22, 2013. Sun Zhan/Sixth Tone

As

more and more seniors live separately from their children, retirement

facilities in China have struggled to meet growing demand. The

government encourages investment in privately owned nursing homes, but

so far none have been established exclusively for members of sexual

minority groups.

Little public attention is given to the needs of

older LGBT people, but to Wang Anke, a 50-year-old bisexual woman from

Beijing, these individuals don』t do enough to stand up for themselves,

either. 「We are almost invisible,」 she says.

Wang married her

husband in 1990 and plans to spend the rest of her life with him. Though

Wang considers herself happy and fortunate, she says that most older

lesbian and bisexual women she knows are pessimistic about their senior

years. 「They』re lonely and lack emotional care,」 Wang says, adding that

many would rather live alone than move into a nursing home where they

fear they can』t be themselves. 「Loneliness will go to the grave with

them.」

But while some LGBT seniors advocate dedicated nursing

homes, Ah Shan opposes the idea of separate services. 「In the long run,

LGBT people shouldn』t lock ourselves in a so-called safe place,」 he

says. 「What we really need is for the overall environment to allow us to

live comfortably in the community.」

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