Chuck的愛與熱情 | 對Schuldiner女士的採訪

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December 13, 2001 - This date will always be remembered by metal fans with suffering and longing. The founder of Death lost his battle against cancer and nobody could believe it. He was a hero for most headbangers, and heroes dont die, right? Maybe this is not the truth. Chuck Schuldiner is gone and more than a year after his death, we would find that he was a hero not only to his fans, but also to his family. This was the most difficult interview to do ever. I had the idea in mid November and I decided to contact Chucks mother, Mrs. Jane Schuldiner. She answered quickly as she does with every journalist and also with every fan that Chuck has in this world. We talked for a long time. After sometime, even I started to have doubts as to wheter or not this interview would be good for her (this was so important) and for Chucks fans. I thought about giving up on the idea and she also thought the same. The end. No interview.

2001年的12月13日，這是個令金屬樂迷們悲傷的日子。死亡金屬的奠基者輸掉了與癌症的戰爭。對於大多數的樂迷來說他都是個英雄般的存在，而英雄從不死去，不是嗎？也許這也不是真理。Chuck Schuldiner已經去世一年多了，我們覺得他不僅對於樂迷來說是個英雄，對於他的家庭也應該如此。這個到現在最艱難的一次採訪，我在11月時有了這個想法，並且聯繫了Chuck的母親，Jane Schuldiner女士。她很快的給了我答覆，就像對於其他所有的記者和Chuck在這個世界上的樂迷一樣。我們交流了很久，過了一些時候，甚至我自己也在思考做這樣一個採訪對她是好是壞，這非常重要，同樣，還得考慮到Chuck的樂迷。我和她都覺得應該放棄這個主意。到此為止，沒有採訪。

After almost a month, nearing the date of Chucks death, Mrs. Schuldiner sent me a message telling me that she was fine with the interview. But the period of Chucks death, and also Christmas time werent very good to Mrs. Schuldiner. So the interview was ready in the first days of January. This was one of the longest interviews and easily the most touching interview ever. Mrs. Schuldiner opened wide her feelings, the history of her family, of her son. The result of our conversations can give you an idea of how Chuck was as a child, a son, a family member, etc. But it also shows who was behind and supporting him all the time. I only hope that this interview was as important to Mrs. Schuldiner as itll be to Chucks fans.

過了幾乎一個月，接近Chuck去世的日子時，Schuldiner女士給我發了消息說她可以接受採訪。但Chuck的忌日和聖誕節並不是適合採訪的時候，因此真正的採訪在一月份的上旬。這是耗時最長的採訪之一了，但同時也是最感人的一次採訪。 Schuldiner女士敞開了心扉，講述了家庭的故事，還有她的兒子。我們談論的這些內容可以讓你進一步了解Chuck作為一個孩子、一個兒子以及作為家庭成員時的樣子，也向大家展示了這位站在他背後不斷支持他的人。我只希望這次採訪對於Schuldiner女士如同它對於Chuck的樂迷們一樣重要。

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-How is your life going and how are you a year after Chucks death?

Chuck去世後的一年裡你的生活是怎樣的？過得如何？

-J: Life is a daily struggle for me without him, Chuck is profoundly loved and missed in so many ways. He was a very loving and caring son, brother and uncle, spending much of his time doing things with us. We had dinner together most days at his house, he loved to cook and barbque and there were many movies, trips, etc. Our lives were filled with Chuck and it is very empty now, for all of us.

對於我來說，失去他的每一天都非常痛苦，Chuck一直在不同的方式中被深愛與思念著。Chuck是一個非常有愛心並且會為他人著想的兒子、兄弟和叔叔，在家庭中花了很多時間。在他的房子里我們經常一同晚餐，他喜歡做飯和燒烤，同樣也有許多電影和旅行等。我們的生活被Chuck充實著，但現在非常空虛，對於我們所有人來說。

-We all know something about what happened. But tell us. How Chuck got when he received the result of the exams telling that he was sick?

我們都知道發生的一些東西。但能否告訴我們，當他接受了(癌症)檢查結果時，他是怎樣的？

-J: When Chuck got the news of the tumor he was of course upset, but he quickly got into the fighting mode that he stayed in throughout his fight against that tumor.

當得知腫瘤的消息時，他當然是非常失落，但很快的就進入了與腫瘤做鬥爭的狀態。

-Do you remember any moment, word or phrase from him to you or to others after the revelation of the disease?

你是否記得當得知病情後他對你或者別人說的話或者時刻？

-J: When Chuck came into the door of my house and I had to hear those words, I was so devastated. Chuck just put his arms around me and we stood there hugging each other. After I calmed down, his sister, Chuck and I began plans for getting the best help possible. As always, we did it together, as a family.

當Chuck進屋的時候，我聽到了那些話，我真的是被打擊到了。Chuck張開他的手臂抱住我，然後我們互相緊抱在一起。當我冷靜下來後，她的姐姐、Chuck和我開始計劃如何能夠最大可能的進行治療和幫助。和往常一樣，我們一起完成，作為一個家庭。

-In that time, was music the only thing that involved Chuck to keep going on and fighting? Or did he search for religion or anything like that?

在那段時間裡，音樂是唯一支持Chuck繼續堅持和鬥爭的嗎？還是說他在找尋著宗教或者別的什麼？

-J: What kept Chuck motivated in his fight was his love of his family, his music and the fans, who responded with tons of mail of encouragment. I cant stress enough the role they played throughout the past three years. And still do.

讓Chuck能夠鬥爭的是他對家庭的愛，他的音樂和他的樂迷，收到了非常多的鼓勵郵件。我無法完全的強調那些貫穿著過去三年里它們的角色，現在依舊如此。

-Do you remember what was Chuck listening to at that time? Any album or artist in particular?

你記得Chuck在那段時間裡在聽什麼嗎？具體的專輯或者藝術家？

-J: I know Chuck listened to music frequently during that time, but I do not know the names of the artists. He wore headphones a lot. Chuck never listened to depressing songs, they were about life, much as the songs he wrote. I do know he received inspiration and gratification by the music he listened to, and as always, CDs were always nearby.

我知道在那段時間裡，Chuck經常會聽音樂，但是我不知道那些藝術家的名字。他經常戴著耳機。Chuck從來不聽消極的音樂，那是關於生活，很大程度上就像是他寫的歌。我知道他從他聽的音樂中獲取靈感和滿足，如同往常一樣，CD總在手邊。

-The first album of Control Denied says already a lot in its title, "The Fragile Art Of Existance". Even the lyrics of the songs are very related with what Chuck would live in his next years. It seems like a premonition sometimes. Do you have this same feeling?

Control Denied(Chuck發起的由DEATH成員組建的前衛力量)的第一張專輯在標題中說了很多，「存在的脆弱藝術」。甚至歌詞也和Chuch近些年的狀況非常貼切，就像是預感一樣。你有同樣的感覺嗎？

-J: No, when that album was written it was well before the time Chuck found out he was ill. It surely is amazing that it did seem to be a premonition, and when someone said that to Chuck , he said there was nothing to it, there was no premonition. Chuck was a philosophical person, concerned about many things he saw and experienced himself, and his lyrics reflected that. Chuck was always in great health throughout his life until this happened.

沒有，當這張專輯完成時距離Chuck確診還有很長時間。它看起來像預感當然很驚人，當有人這樣和Chuck說到時，他說這全然無關，沒有什麼預感。Chuck是個很哲學的人，他關心那些周圍發生和經歷的事，並且在他的歌詞中反映出。Chuck在他的生命中一直是個非常健康的人，直到這件事的發生。

-Talking about Control Denied, do the members still have the idea of completing and releasing the second album, "When Man And Machine Collide"?

說起Control Denied，成員們仍舊有計劃完成第二張專輯「當人與機器碰撞」嗎？

-J: Chuck had completed most of his part of the new Control Denied album and his bandmates are going to make sure it is completed. That was very much on Chucks mind and we promised him that we would make sure of it. That album is his last, and it was very, very important to him.

Chuck已經完成了新專輯中他的部分，他的隊友們正在確保新專輯的完成。Chuck對這個非常看重，我們也向他保證我們會完成它。這是他的最後作品，對他也是非常非常重要的。

-After Chucks death and during his treatment we had some really praiseworthy movements by artists, including some unexpected ones like Red Hot Chili Peppers, Kid Rock, Korn, etc, besides other more metal names like PanterA, Anthrax, Exodus, etc. Did you have any contact with those artists?

在Chuck去世後和他治療的時候，藝術家們進行了非常多的值得讚揚的運動，在PANTERA、ANTHRAX、EXODUS等金屬樂隊之外，還有一些意想不到的樂隊，就像RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS、KID ROCK和KORN等等。你和這些藝術家們進行了什麼聯繫嗎？

-J: Yes, I did have contact with them, letters and calls, and they spoke of their sorrow for the tragic end of Chucks fight for life and their admiration for Chuck as a musician. Some of them were in touch with Chuck when he was in recovery the first time in 2001, giving their support, some very nice caring people. In music there is a kinship, no matter what kind of music it is, and when there is a problem or sickness, whatever, they close ranks and support one another. I admire that because it is rare.

是的，我聯繫了他們，通過信件和電話，他們表示了對Chuck的悲劇的哀痛以及對他作為一個藝術家的讚賞。其中一些在Chuck2001年第一次恢復時有過聯繫，提供他們的支持，他們是非常好的人。在音樂中就像是有著血緣關係，不論是什麼音樂，每當有疾病或者別的發生時，他們都會緊密團結在一起給予幫助。我很佩服因為這非常少見。

-Which were his closest friends in his final days?

在他最後的時間中，誰是他最親近的朋友？

-J: The people closest to Chuck in his final days were Richard, the drummer in his band, and David, his best friend from 5th grade. Richard was always a good friend and he was there for Chuck throughout his illness, bringing little meaningful presents and sensitivity. He and Chuck always had the same sense of humor and he made Chuck laugh, he lightened all our lives during that time. He has kept in touch and is included in special occasions in our family and is very dear to us.

在他最後的時間裡最親近的朋友是他樂隊的鼓手Richard，以及從五年級開始就是好友的David。Richard一直是好朋友，在Chuck生病後一直陪伴在左右，帶了一些有意義的小禮物和關照。他和Chuck有著非常相似的幽默感，他總能讓Chuck開心，在那段時間中他照亮了我們所有人的生活。他與我們的家庭一直有著聯繫，並且有著特別的地位，對我們非常親切。

-Before all this... did you have any idea of how much of an icon Chuck was considered to be and how much he was a representative of a style to the music world?

在這所有之前，你對Chuck的標籤印象以及作為一個音樂風格的代表了解多少？

-J: I did know Chuck was a force in his music, but not until he became ill was I aware of how very large that force was, and still is. From the beginning of Chucks illness there were so many emails, letters, and gifts of support from fans that I had to have help answering them. And when they found out that Chuck was being denied surgery because of lack of insurance, they responded with a roar, sending financial support to help him. They were instrumental in helping Chuck get the medical help he needed. I will always feel close to them for that.

我知道他在他的音樂中是一股力量，但是直到他患病後我才知道這股力量有多麼大，並且現在仍是。當Chuck患病的早期，我們收到了非常多的來自樂迷支持的郵件、信件和禮物以至於我不得不幫助回復他們。然後當他們得知Chuck由於缺乏保險而無法進行手術時，呼喊般的回復，送來了幫助他的資金。他們在Chuck接受需要的醫療幫助中起了重要的作用，我一直覺得他們非常親切。

-Lets get back a bit more. Tell us about Chucks childhood.

讓我們回到更早的時候，說說Chuck孩時的樣子吧。

-J: Chuck was a great child, loving and always so good natured that everyone loved him back. I always had to caution him against strangers as a child because he thought everyone was his friend. Chuck played baseball and soccer in school, soccer was his favorite. His grades were always good throughout school, and this may surprise some people, but he always got excellent in conduct. We always camped throughout the years when our children were growing up and Chuck loved it, the woods, and fishing, hiking, he loved it all. We moved to this neighborhood next to the forest when Chuck was two years old and he and his friends spent many hours building forts and treehouses when they were children. Chuck always told me that he had the happiest of childhoods, and he really did.

Chuck是個很好的孩子，有愛心並且有著非常好的天性，每個人也都非常喜歡他。我不得不一直提醒他小心陌生人，因為他把所有人都視作他的朋友。Chuck在學校中玩棒球和足球，他最喜歡足球。他的年級(球隊)一直是學校里最好的，這也許會讓很多人感到吃驚，他在指揮上一直做的非常出色。當他不斷長大時我們一直野營，他喜歡樹木、釣魚、爬山，喜歡這一切。當Chuck兩歲時我們搬到森林這附近，當他還小時，他和他的朋友花了非常多的時間建造堡壘和樹屋。Chuck總是和我說他有著最開心的童年，他也確實如此。

-When did he get involved with metal? Before this, what did he listen to?

他是什麼時候接觸金屬音樂的？在此之前，他聽些什麼？

-J: Chuck got involved with music when he was 9 years old. His brother, Frank, was killed in an accident. They were so close and Chuck was devastated, so we bought him a guitar and took him for lessons. He loved playing but got tired quickly of the lessons, and continued playing on his own. He heard Kiss play and they were his favorite band for years, having quite an influence on him. Jimi Hendrix he thought was fantastic and he also liked The Doors. When he was thirteen years old I took him to his first Kiss concert.

Chuck在他九歲的時候接觸了金屬音樂。他的哥哥Frank在一起意外中去世。他們非常要好，Chuck難過極了，所以我們給他買了一把吉他並給他報了班。他喜歡玩吉他但很快的對課程感到厭倦，並且以自己的方式繼續了下去。他聽到了KISS的演奏，他們是那些年他最喜歡的樂隊，對他有很大的影響。他覺得Jimi Hendrix非常棒，他也喜愛著THE DOORS。當他13歲時，我帶他去了他的第一次KISS演出。

-When he started to play guitar and Mantas later turning into Death, what did you think? Did you approve his decision?

當他開始玩吉他並且後來把MANTAS轉向為DEATH時，你是怎麼想的？你支持他的決定嗎？

-J: I suppose it was because Chuck was never a problem child that I accepted his music and thought if he liked it, then it was okay. Chuck always loved animals and cooking, he told me once that if he had not been a musician he would have been either a chef or a veterinarian. I always thought that the name of the band derived from the death of his brother, and while the word had such painful memories, I did not object.

我支持他因為Chuck從來不是一個問題小孩，如果他喜歡的話，我會接受他的音樂和想法，這些都沒問題。Chuck一直喜歡動物和烹飪，他有次和我說如果他不是一個音樂人的話，他會想做個廚師或者獸醫。我一直認為樂隊的名字來源於他哥哥的死亡，但儘管這個詞有很多痛苦的記憶，我沒有反對。

-Did you like his music? Since the beginning, did you listen to his records and enjoy them?

你喜歡他的音樂嗎？從一開始，你會聽他的作品並且享受它們嗎？

-J: Chucks music was very loud and it took me some time before I really listened to it with a critical ear. I have always loved the drums, and early on I loved the way Chuck could play the guitar, always amazed at the progression of his talent as he taught himself. Chuck could play a lot of instruments. He was such an interesting person, and my garage was always full of young, hungry musicians. Great young people.

Chuck的音樂非常響，它花了我一些時間去適應，然後我真正的開始用挑剔的耳朵去聽它。我一直喜歡鼓的部分，也很喜歡Chuck彈吉他的方式，對他天賦的進展感到驚訝，因為他靠自學。Chuck能夠演奏很多樂器。他是如此一個有趣的人，我的車庫裡總是聚集著年輕人，餓了的音樂人。多麼棒的人們。

-Was Chuck a 24hrs a day metal man? Which other styles he used to listen to?

Chuck一天24個小時都是個金屬迷嗎？他以前還聽什麼風格的音樂？

-J: Metal was the music Chuck listened to mostly, though he liked Jazz very much also. There is no music that I dont like. I always have either the radio or television on turned to the music stations. Chuck did not like country, thinking it a sad music.

金屬音樂是Chuck聽的最多的音樂，儘管他也非常喜歡爵士樂。這兒沒有我不喜歡的音樂。我總是有著個播放音樂頻道的收音機或者電視機。Chuck不喜歡鄉村音樂，覺得它是一種悲傷的音樂。

-Besides the 2nd Control Denieds album, is there more unpublished material that probably will see the light soon?

除了Control Denied的第二張專輯，這兒還有其他我們將來可能會看到的未公布的作品嗎？

-J: I did find unpublished songs that Chuck had written and lots of demos and there was music he had written for a friend in another band, but when I asked his friend about it, he didnt think he would go forward with their plans for it. I dont know what plans we have for all of those.

我確實找到了一些Chuck未完成的歌曲以及很多demo。這兒有很多他給另一支樂隊的朋友寫的音樂，但當我問及他的朋友時，他不覺得能夠繼續關於它的計劃。我不知道這些所有的東西還有什麼計劃。

-Which are the last words that you remember Chuck saying to you or to another person?

你還記得Chuck對你或者別的說的最後的話是什麼嗎？

-J: Chucks family were around him at the last and many words of love and comfort were spoken. It felt as though my heart and soul were breaking, and I still feel that way.

Chuck的家人在他臨終時都陪伴著他，他說了很多愛和安慰的話。這讓我感覺心和靈魂都碎了，現在仍是如此。

-Mrs. Schuldiner, thanks so much for the interview. We know how hard those times are and you can count with us. This space is yours to leave a message to Chucks fans, friends... and whatever you want to do.

Schuldiner女士，非常感謝你對採訪的支持。我們能理解那是多麼艱難的時間。最後你可以給Chuck的樂迷和朋友留言，或者別的你希望說的。

-J: I want to thank you, Thiago, for your patience. Some of the answers were very difficult and it has taken me a long time. My message to Chucks fans and friends are very much what I wrote in his memory December 13th of this year. Thank you all for your continued support to me and Chucks music, he would be so proud.

我想要謝謝你，Thiago，你非常耐心。有些問題真的很難回答，讓我想了很久。我對Chuck的樂迷和朋友們的留言已經在他十二月份的紀念日上寫了。感謝你對我和Chuck的音樂的不斷支持，他會為此自豪。

作者 | Thiago

翻譯 | dyingflames

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