猩式車評：2017款寶馬5系
The Clarkson Review: 2017 BMW 5-series
This nanny tucks you in, then hugs everyone outside too
這台保姆車緊緊包裹著你，再抱一抱車外的人
IF A PIECE of technology remains fundamentally unchanged for more than a century, it』s inevitable that one day it will be as perfect as it』s going to get. And so it was with the most recent BMW 530d.
如果一種科技超過一個世紀沒有本質改變，它不可避免地至臻完美。近期的530d也是一樣
Every tiny lesson and shuffle forward since Karl Benz took his invention for a spin round Germany in 1888 had been incorporated. And as a consequence, the world had arrived at what might fairly be described as 「peak car」.
自從卡爾 本茨發明汽車起各種大小進步混搭合一。結果就是，世界上可能出現了「巔峰之車」
That thing offered an incredible blend of economy, refinement and power. It was comfortable, it handled beautifully, it was well made and easy to use and its astonishing good looks were tainted only by a deserved familiarity.
該車擁有難以置信的經濟性 舒適和動力。乘坐舒適，操控優美，做工優良，易於使用而且外形俊朗，不過被似曾相識感白璧微瑕
If I』d been in charge at BMW when that car was launched, I』d have asked everyone in the research and development department to go on holiday forever because their work was done. The car, as an entity, had been perfected. And there were no more worlds to conquer.
如果該車推出時我在掌管BMW，我會要求研發部的人都去永久休假，因為他們的工作已經完成了。這車整體來說，已經完美，無需多言
However, the world doesn』t work like that. The world demands change. So BMW was forced to come up with a new model that would, somehow, have to be even better. To try to achieve this, in a car that』s still propelled down the road by the age old principle of suck, squeeze, bang, blow, BMW turned to its laptop department, instructing it to fit the new model with all the electronic whizz bangs that had been invented since the previous model was on the drawing board. Sounds good, yes?
然而，事實上這樣行不通。世界需要變革。所以BMW不得不推出一個不知道怎麼就更好的新型號。因此，對於一台跑路還是靠進 壓 爆 排的車來說。BMW找到了他們的筆記本部門，要求他們安裝一堆從上一代還在草圖時代就開始研發的電子科技。聽起來不錯吧？
But perhaps it isn』t. Many new cars — even my Golf — are capable of reading the road ahead and, for a few seconds, steering themselves. That』s great, unless you want to change lanes on the motorway. If you indicate first, then the system knows you』re doing it on purpose and shuts down, but if you don』t, and frankly there』s little point if traffic is light and you』re moving into the middle lane to overtake a lorry, then the system tries to stop you. In some cars, you get a gentle tug at the wheel, but in the 5-series, you get a wrench. And then you end up fighting your own car, which is undignified and annoying.
然而可能非也。許多新車—包括我的Golf—都能讀取路況，然後，自動轉向。這很棒，除非你要在高速變道。如果你打燈，系統會判斷你是故意打燈，然後熄滅。但如果不打燈，說實話，交通稀少的時刻你變道超貨車，系統就會阻止你，但5系裡，你可能會扭傷。然後你就和自己的車較勁，看起來既丟面子又煩人
Turning this facility off means plunging into the car』s computer, which means you need to take your eyes off the road all the way from London to Swindon. But eventually you find the right sub-menu and then you』re free to change lanes without letting the car know first.
關閉該系統要關注行車電腦，也就是說你要在從倫敦到史雲頓（英國城市）的全程不看路。但最終你會找到正確的子菜單來讓車輛不知道你隨意變道
But this puts it in a bad mood, so when you cross the white lines, it shudders and shakes, and to do something about this, you have to put on your reading glasses and go back into the menus, which is dangerous because now the car won』t steer itself while you』re otherwise engaged.
但這讓這車使人不爽，當你壓白線時，這車肆意抖動，要防止這一切，你要戴上老花鏡，返回主菜單，這很危險，因為當你分心時車不會自動轉向
Mind you, it also won』t crash into anything. Sensors are on hand to prevent you from getting within about 400 yards of the car in front, and if you break the speed limit, you are reminded on both the speedometer and the head-up display that you are on the wrong side of the law.
提醒一下，這車也不會撞車。手中的聲吶讓你防止撞上前方400碼之內的車，如果你超速了，速度表和HUD都會提示你已犯法
It』s weird. You are driving along, with the engine ticking over at about 1500rpm. You are well within the capabilities of the car and you are a sentient being. But the electronic systems are behaving like you』re armed with a sub-machinegun and you』ve just entered a shopping centre with a murderous look on your face.
很奇怪。你以1500RPM的轉速巡航。你在車的能力之內駕駛，而且你還是個感性的人。但電子系統的行為就如同你是個拿著衝鋒槍掃射商場的凶靈惡煞
It takes a while to turn all this stuff off and then you are left with a car that feels pretty much identical to the old 530d. The only way you can tell that the engine has diesel coursing through its veins is by driving halfway round the world and then noticing there』s still enough juice in the tank to get you home.
費了好大勁兒才把這堆管家撤下馬，然後就是一台和老530d雷同的車了。唯一識別這是柴油車的方式就是走遍半個世界後還有足夠的油來送你回家
Every single thing in the cabin works as well as is possible and there』s so much space in the boot and the back that you』d have to be very fat indeed to need the bigger 7-series. Honestly, as a car — four wheels and a seat — it is impossible to fault. It』s lovely when you are going quickly, and quiet and relaxing when you aren』t. And it even has a party piece when you get to journey』s end because you can get out, push a button on the (enormous) key fob and the car will park itself.
內飾的做工好到極點，後備箱空間非常的大，後排要著實過胖的人才會換用7系。說實話，以車的標準—4輪1座—這車毫無問題。高速行駛很有愛，低速時愜意安靜。終點時還有錦上添花，下車後，按下鑰匙上的一個鍵，自主停車
You』d never actually do this, of course. In the same way that you wouldn』t board a plane with no pilot. You』d assume that while the electronics are capable of doing the task they』d been given, they』d go wrong, and then a human would need to be on hand to rescue the situation.
你也沒必要做這事兒。就如同你不會上沒有飛行員的飛機一樣。你推測當電氣化足以應付任務時，會出岔子，而必須有個人來力挽狂瀾
And that raises another interesting point. It』s a far nicer and more relaxing car to drive with all the electronic nannies turned off, but what if I were momentarily distracted by something Jeremy Corbyn had said on the radio? Or if I』d dropped my lighter down the side of the seat? And the car crashed. And killed someone.
這就有另一個有趣的點了。關閉電子輔助後更贊更愜意，但如果我意外被廣播里Jeremy Corbyn的話語分心了呢？或者如果我把打火機掉在座椅邊上了，撞車後死人了咋辦？
It』s a moral maze. Do you put up with the constant interference and nagging just in case? Or do you disconnect everything and have a nicer time while hoping for the best? And does having the choice make this an even better car than its predecessor?
這是道德迷宮。你受夠了衝突和嘮叨嗎？或者你是否關閉一切輔助，享受當下，祈求平安？這是否讓該車比前任更贊？
Or is it morally reckless to turn off all the systems that could save a child』s life? Surely, you should leave them on. In which case, why would you need a car that handles so sweetly and can do 155mph? When you think about it for a while, your head starts to hurt.
那麼關閉救熊孩子命的系統是否是道德淪喪呢？誠然，你應該開著它們。倘若如此，你為何要一台操控甜美，極速155MPH（250KPH）的車呢？
So let』s move on. It』s not as masculine to look at as the old model. It looks less solid, less robust, more feminine. That』s probably a good thing.
說說下個話題。這車外觀不如老款陽剛。不夠結實強健，更娘。這可能是件好事
I don』t doubt that it will be easier and therefore cheaper to make than its predecessor. And that』s definitely a good thing because savings on the production line mean greater profits for BMW, which is good for the German economy. And what』s good for the German economy is good for the economies of Greece, Italy and Portugal as well. Put simply, big profits on a 5-series mean fewer riots in Athens.
我不否認這車比前任更容易且廉價製造。這對BMW是件好事，因為這樣在生產線上剩下的錢就轉化為利潤，促進德國經濟發展。德國經濟發展有助於希臘 義大利和土耳其經濟發展。簡而言之，5系的更大利潤意味著雅典的更少暴動
And of course, if more people buy a car like this — a car that forces you to indicate before moving, and obey the speed limits and not tailgate; well, that has to mean fewer fatalities.
當然，如果更多人買了這車—一台強行讓你打燈變向，遵守限速 不要跟車的車；額，肯定會減少死亡事故
So this is a car that hasn』t moved the car itself along one jot. But it has raised the bar nevertheless because it』s something you buy for the benefit of other people. That』s an idea that』s never really been tried before.
所以，這台車沒有促進汽車的發展。無論如何，但還是提升了門檻，因為這是你買來讓其他人受益的車。這可是前所未有的想法
總評4猩
A great car underneath some clever-clever electronics
機智電氣化下的好車
At a glance（驚鴻一瞥）
Handling 操控 5
Comfort 舒適 5
Performance 性能 4
Interior 內飾 4
Practicality 實用性 4
Costs 價格 4
Pros（欽定）
Fun at speed, relaxing at a cruise
高速有趣，巡航放鬆
Excellent and spacious cabin
超贊的大空間車廂
Quiet, smooth diesel engine
安靜 順暢的柴油機
Cons（批判）
Electronic systems are nannying
電子系統婆婆媽媽
Its better to drive without the gizmos, too
沒有這些小玩意兒開起來更贊
Feels more beneficial to others than you
感覺對外界比對司機更友好
翻譯：GearKnobs字幕組—進化世代（ALMF3512）
推薦閱讀：