難倒翻譯！關於動物的英文雙關笑話！

Why did the fish blush?

Because it saw the oceans bottom.

魚為什麼臉紅了？

因為它瞧到了大海的屁股。

oceans bottom，海底；bottom還有屁股的意思。

BOY: "Dad, can you put the cat out?"

DAD: "I didn』t know it was on fire!"

男孩：爸爸，你能把貓關到外面(撲滅)嗎？

爸爸：我不知道它著火了。

put out，放到外面；滅火。

Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch.

One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?"

The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"

兩隻蝙蝠在樹枝上倒掛。

其中一隻問另外一隻：你記得自己最糟糕的一天嗎？

另一隻回答：記得。拉肚子那天。

Why couldnt the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted!

為什麼豹子不能玩捉迷藏？

因為它總是容易被發現。

spotted：被發現；布滿斑點。

How do you count cows?

With a cowculator.

你怎麼數牛？

用數牛器。

cowculator，calculator的變形。

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course! The Empire State Building cant jump.

袋鼠能跳得比帝國大廈還高嗎？

當然能！帝國大廈根本就不會跳。

What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?

He said, "Put it on my bill."

鴨子買口紅時說什麼？

他說：記我賬上/塗我嘴上。

bill：賬單；鳥嘴。

You hear the frogs car broke down?

Yeah, it had to be toad away.

你聽說青蛙的車拋錨了嗎？

是的，它被拖走了。

tow away，拖走；towed與toad同音。

You know whats smarter than a talking bird?

A spelling bee!

你知道什麼比會說話的鳥還聰明?

會拼寫的蜜蜂。

spellig bee：會拼寫的蜜蜂；還有拼字比賽的意思。

GIRL: "Dad, why is a swordfish』s nose 11 inches long?"

DAD: "Cause if it were 12 inches long itd be a foot!"

女兒：爸爸，為什麼劍魚鼻子長11英寸？

父親：因為如果12英寸長，那就成1英尺（一隻腳）了。

foot：英尺；腳。12英寸等於1英尺。

What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?

Bugs bunny.

生跳蚤的兔子叫什麼？

兔八哥(長蟲的兔)。

Why did the crab never share?

Because hes shellfish.

螃蟹為什麼從不分享？

因為它是貝類動物（太自私）。

selfish與shellfish諧音。

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?

"Bison."

水牛把兒子送到學校後對它說什麼？

野牛（再見）。

bison 與 bye son諧音。

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea!

你管沒眼睛的鹿叫什麼？

不知道（無眼鹿）。

No ideas與 no eye deer諧音。

You know what the loudest pet you can get is?

A trumpet.

你知道最吵鬧的寵物是什麼嗎？

小號(trum-pet)。

pet：寵物；trumpet：小號

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten-tickles.

讓烏賊發笑需要幾個胳肢？

10個胳肢。

ten tickels與tentacles(觸鬚)諧音。

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?

Elephino.

大象和犀牛能生出什麼？

犀象(知道才怪)。

Elephino(eleph+ino)與hell if i know諧音。

Why do chicken coops only have two doors?

Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!

為什麼雞窩只有2個門？

有4個門的話，就成了雞轎車。

coop(雞窩)與coupe(雙座四輪轎式馬車、一種車型)諧音。

I just watched a documentary about beavers.

It was the best dam show I ever saw!

我剛看了一部關於河狸的紀錄片。

那是我看過最好的(水壩)節目。

dam 與 damn諧音。

damn good：非常好；dam(水壩)。

河狸是修建堤壩小能手。

What did the horse say after it tripped?

"Help! I』ve fallen and I can』t giddyup!」

馬跌倒後說什麼？

救命！我摔倒了，爬不起來！

giddy-up int. (趕馬的吆喝)駕

與get up諧音。

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