劍橋雅思12 Test7 小作文解析+範文

02-12

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.

首先，提2個問題

1. 這個題應該當做動態圖還是靜態圖來寫？

2. 裡面包含的18個數據是否應該全部列出？

如果你看懂了《劍橋雅思8》Test2小作文考官範文，答案會很清楚——

當做動態圖來寫，數據不用全部列出。

當做動態圖來寫，勢必每一個頻率對應的3個比例應該寫成一組，那麼就相當於有6組不可分割信息要寫。

我們還得將這6組信息分成2-3個大組。

比較明顯，可以根據數據的大小分組，得到

once a week和once or twice a month分成一個大組；

several times a week和a few times a year分成一個大組；

every day和never分成一個大組。

但是，哪些數字不用列出，還是讓人糾結的。

邵教授的建議

every day和never對應的6個數據都不高於5%（而且3%和5%的差距實在很小），所以全部可以用一句話帶過（所謂的不列出，指的是不寫出具體的數據，這不等於完全不提），這句話不需要單獨成段，可以考慮寫在開頭段。

依據劍8 Test2的考官範文，once a week和once or twice a month對應的2003年的數據都可以不寫。

請點擊查看原圖

參考範文：

The bar chart describes how often individuals in America consumed fast food at restaurants in 2003, 2006 and 2013. Those who never dined in them and who dined in them every day accounted for less than a tenth of all people in the US.
In all three years, over a half of these people ate in these restaurants once a week, or once or twice a month. The percentage of those who dined in them once a week increased to a third of all Americans in 2006, before falling to 27% in 2013. In contrast, the proportion of those who visited these restaurants once or twice a month dropped to a quarter in 2006, but rose to slightly over a third in 2013.
Americans who ate fast food at restaurants several times a week constituted around 16% of the US population in both 2003 and 2013, and a larger percentage (one fifth) in 2006. Those who dined in these restaurants a few times a year represented similar percentages (approximately 15%) in all three years.
In sum, the largest groups of diners at fast food restaurants consisted of those who ate in them once a week in 2003 and 2006, but comprised those who did so once or twice a month in 2013.

此文經英國人審閱通過

避免語言重複

people who ate in fast food restaurants可以改成

1. people who consumed/ate fast food in restaurants

2. people who dined in fast food restaurants

3. people who visited fast food restaurants

4. diners at fast food restaurants

指代的方式可以避免重複

1. those who did so

2. people who dined in these restaurants

3. people who visited these restaurants

4. diners at these restaurants

部分考鴨，非要把題目當成靜態圖來寫（2003年，2006年和2013年各寫一段；即相同顏色的柱子寫成一段）。

下文是參考答案：

The bar chart describes how often individuals in America consumed fast food at restaurants in 2003, 2006 and 2013. In all three years, over a half of these people ate in them once a week, or once or twice a month; those who never dined in them and who dined in them every day accounted for less than a tenth of all people in the US.
Back in 2003, both those who dined at fast food restaurants once a week and those who did so once or twice a month constituted around 30% of all diners. While 17% of people in the US visited these restaurants several times a week, about 13% of Americans dined in them only a few times a year.
In 2006, the largest group of people who ate fast food in these restaurants consisted of those who ate in them once a week, representing a third of people in the US. A fourth of them visited once or twice a month and a fifth dined in them several times a week. The figure for those who did so a few times a year was merely 15%.
In general, Americans ate fast food less frequently in 2013. The largest group comprised those who visited such restaurants once or twice a month, constituting a third, although those who did so once a week represented slightly over a fourth. Similar percentages (about 15%) of these people ate in them either several times a week or a few times a year.

此文經英國人審閱通過

讓人痛苦的事實是，字數超過250，而且還沒寫結尾段。