Week 17: NSFW

02-11

Sorry to get you excited, but obviously we cant talk about anything too sensitive here. (If youd like to talk about anything controversial, feel free to email me at brian@weeklywritingclub.com)

This weeks theme was Inappropriate, and Id to share some of the answers.

Tell me about a time you were inappropriately dressed for the occasion.

When I recall my last and most embarrassing inappropriately dressed occasion, I still cringe and laugh a little. It happened during my senior year of college. In China, when students are about to leave school, a number of companies will come to the school for recruiting. Students need to send their resume to those companies and provided that they are qualified, the companies will summon them to a hotel for interviewing. I was invited to interview with Huawei and Tencent.
The first day was Huawei』s interview and decided to wear a t-shirt and jeans. When I entered the hotel lobby, I found everyone wearing suits except me. During the interview, I felt pretty awkward because the interviewer wore a suit as well. After that time I decided to wear a suit to the next interview in order to be polite and respectful.
The next day was Tencent and I was better prepared. I dressed in a suit and got to the hotel very early. When I was waiting for my turn to enter the interview room, I found that everyone was dressed in casual attire except me. Even the interviewer from Tencent only wore a t-shirt. I was in wrong attire again.

I thought about how I could wrong both times. Huawei is a B2B company and they needed to dress more formally when facing their customers. But Tencent is a B2C company and they need to be more open and attractive to young people. That』s how I wore the wrong thing to two interviews in a row.

By Dennis

Brian: Oscar Wilde said, 「You can never be overdressed or overeducated.」 So if you ever find yourself suited up in a sea of shirts again, just rock that suit.

Tell me about a time when what you did was inappropriate, but the right thing.

Doing the inappropriate but right thing is easy, but often unwelcome. The great writer Lu Xun famously wrote: 「When visiting a newborn, the most truthful statement a guest could make to the proud new father is: 『Your son is going to die.』 This is absolutely truthful, but also sufficient to incur the ire of everybody.」

Just as good medication doesn』t have to be bitter, the right thing can also be done in a palatable manner. During my PhD studies, my mentor repeatedly informed me that part of our job description is to instruct the undergrad students in a mutually acceptable way. That is, for us, we have to educate the students; and for the students, they need to receive help without having their egos bruised. To help me understand, my mentor gave me several rules to go by, and as years passed, I』ve found them to be very useful.
Rule #1: Always acknowledge the progress a student has made. Such progress does not have to be in bounds and leaps, but anything positive needs to be acknowledged and reinforced. For instance, in analyzing a case, one student may refer to the correct legal concept but come to the entirely wrong conclusion. The correct thing would be telling the student he was 100% wrong, but the appropriate thing would be telling him that he was 50% right. In this way, there is high chance that the same student may volunteer to analyze a different case and finally get it right.
Rule #2: Be helpful, but not confrontational. Compared to students who never seem to grasp a concept, students with an attitude are a bigger nightmare for young TAs. In this case, the right, but highly unadvised, choice is to get confrontational with that student and tell him exactly why they were wrong, but the appropriate choice is to be professional and reasonable: deal with any question they bring with professionalism, but never get emotionally involved.
This is all easier said than done. But over the years I come to appreciate the merits of it. For instance, when I taught legal English to a class of master』s students, one student openly asked in my first lesson: Why would I have to learn this if my only dream is to be a judge? I had no idea why he had to be provocative, but I merely laughed and told him that the most lucrative cases a lawyer may get his hands on always involve some foreign aspect, and hence it wouldn』t hurt for any aspiring student of law to prepare for a brighter future. Later on, when the course was coming to an end, the same student confided in me that being a judge who dealt with divorces and traffic accidents all day was not his dream, but the only job he believed he could get; and he did wish to work in Beijing, arguing cases that had international dimensions, but never thought it would be possible. I told him that was entirely possible, giving him several examples of our former graduates along the way, and was secretly thankful that back then I did not antagonize him further.
Rule #3: Respect the students. Give them suggestions, but not criticisms and trust them to come to the right conclusions. Back when I studied for my bachelor』s degree, the 「right」 method of teaching in China』s universities was lecturing. When I studied under my mentor, though, that was no longer the only right way to do things. My mentor believed in the Socratic way of teaching. He told us that students would eagerly come to their own conclusions provided that we give them careful prodding in the right direction, and we teachers merely need to point the way and exclaim how pleased we were at the results. This method requires a strong grasp of both the teaching material and the classroom in general, but years later I』ve found the wisdom in it. After explaining the basic concepts, I would give the students a case to work on, and offer suggestions here and there such as

- 「Would it be better if we consider the seller』s statement that……」
- 「What if the delivery was not late by two days, but two months?」
-「Let』s read Flecher』s essay on Force majeure together, and see whether our conclusions differ?」
- 「What counter arguments would you make if you were a buyer instead of a seller?」

Miraculously, the right answer would always surface in the end, and I could proudly tell the students how clever they were.
For a teacher, doing the right thing is not merely about filling the students』 minds with the right concepts, but rather, doing so with the most welcoming method. That was what my mentor took his time to impart me with. Now that I come to think of it, his method of instructing me was right and welcoming as well, and now I could look back on my PhD days with a fond smile.

By Vick

Brian: Vick was very astute in noticing that the writing prompt I posed presented somewhat of a false choice: the right choice is the right choice, but how you execute that choice often determines whether it was appropriate or not. You can often make the right choice and frame your actions in a way to make it easy for others to accept.

Vick even questioned whether her answer might be to far from what the prompt was looking for. But in reality, I welcome deviations from the prompt. I welcome people writing about past prompts. I welcome people responding to their own prompts.

I provide the writing prompts in the hopes of providing inspiration — just like how sometimes it』s easier to draw something creative when there are already stray lines on the page. I don』t hope to influence the direction of the writing too much. And there』s certainly no right or wrong answer.

Next weeks prompts — Create:

Tell me about something you created last week.
When do you feel the most creative?
Tell me about a time you created a nightmare for yourself.

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