飯局上，如何給老闆留下深刻印象？

我想我有一個故事希望能告訴那些，不了解如何在職場上或是一些社交活動上與你的上司交流的職場新人們。我的故事發生在一場在國外的飯局上，當時我給一位高管留下了深刻的印象，而他也影響了我的一生。我們那晚的談話讓我有機會為他工作，也是我20年前能夠從美國被調去亞洲工作的原因。這一次不僅是想跟大家講講我的故事，同時我也想強調一下四個關於如何與高層人士交流和給他們留下好印象的方法。

先快速地跟大家說一下當時的故事背景：我當時28歲左右，在讀MBA，第二學年。我還是加州大學洛杉磯分校亞洲管理學生協會（AMSA）的主席。當時，AMSA組織了亞美商業領袖的年度會議。 我們的一位演講嘉賓Ed Yang是當時美國領先的技術公司王安電腦（Wang Computers）的副總裁。 在會議之前的那天晚宴上，我恰好跟Ed和一些學生組織者以及演講嘉賓坐在一起。

（和Ed Yang (那個高個子!）在我們年度AMSA 領導會議）

1) 做自己——我們到餐廳的時候桌子還沒收拾好，還需要再等30分鐘。這當然不是什麼好事，可當Ed到了之後只說了一句：「那我們去酒吧喝一杯吧！」就是這麼隨性。

我們之前通過電話，但這是我第一次見到Ed本人。我當時就想：「這個人並不是很嚴肅，他喜歡放鬆，我也該如此！」說實話，我正好需要在晚宴開始前喝杯東西放鬆一下。喝完東西後，我更加放鬆了，這正好可以讓我做自己。

2) 你不一定要談正事——我和Ed坐下後，我試著聊一些輕鬆的事情。我沒有提關於他的工作、公司或IT行業的事情，我覺得這些都很無聊。開始的時候，我問了一些簡單的問題，比如：「你經常跟MBA的學生聊天嗎？」、「你有沒有在其他MBA項目中做過演講？」和「你有沒有印象特別深刻的MBA項目？」

慢慢的，我們的話題轉向了體育，準確的來說是網球。Ed十分喜歡網球，自己也經常打網球。剛好我也喜歡網球。從他的表情我可以看出網球是一個很好的話題。我便聊起了關於網球的事情。

我們探討了彼此最喜歡的男運動員和女運動員，我們自己的網球技術，甚至還討論了喜歡用哪個牌子的網球拍。我們都對網球感興趣，所以聊起來覺得很有意思。

（和我的兩位UCLA MBA 的同學也是AMSA的同事）

3）誠實地發表觀點或者觀點——當時，Ed身體往後一靠，露出調皮的表情然後說道：「你覺得你打網球能贏過我嗎？」

我本來可以回答：「不，我覺得贏不了」 的，不過我也往後靠了靠，露出跟他差不多的表情，說：「我覺得可以。」

「真的嗎，」他說，「你憑什麼這麼認為呢？」我不假思索地給了他答案。

「你比我高很多，估計你的發球很厲害。但是我會打回去贏下這一球。速度是我的優勢，我會控好球，接住你打過來的每一球。」

然後我有點放肆地說道：「坦白講，我比你年輕很多所以我體力肯定比你好。我可以讓你來回跑，你累了之後便會出錯。然後我就可以贏了。」

我從他對我的笑容中， 我可以發現的是用一種並沒有很傲慢的態度來表達我自己的觀點，這種態度讓對方感覺到我是幽默並且是自信的，也讓我看出來他對我的這一番分析很感興趣。

4) 討人喜歡——Ed問我怎麼看明天的會議，我說其實我有點緊張，我從來沒有組織過這樣的會議。我告訴他在讀商學院之前我就是一個很普通有點呆的設計師，整天都坐在電腦前，在別人面前說話都會緊張。

他說：「你要是不說我絕對猜不到你以前是那樣。」他開始問一些關於我的問題，比如我一開始為什麼想成為設計師，為什麼現在轉行了。我告訴他我的覺醒始於跟祖母的第一次中國之行。那次旅行讓我意識到我所從事的工作用不到我的才智和機會。我當時就是誠實、敞開心扉地說了一些關於自己的事情，我覺得Ed很喜歡這樣的我。

（與王安電腦的其他即將入職的新員工）

晚宴結束了，Ed上車之前轉向我，他說：「聽著，你引起了我的好奇心。我們一定要一起打一場網球。會議結束後給我的秘書打個電話，我們約個時間。」幾周後的周六早晨，我去了Ed的鄉村俱樂部，打了兩局網球。至於誰贏就是另一個有趣的故事了。

說實話，晚宴之前我的目標就是不要出醜。因為我之前從來沒有坐在Ed這種大人物旁邊過，也沒有跟他這樣的人說過話，更別說聊一整晚了。不過我也發現了大人物為什麼能成功的原因。大多數大人物有著良好的溝通技能，不僅如此，他們還會給人腳踏實地，非常有風度，有魅力以及很慷慨大方的感覺。所以，不刻意和輕鬆地交談讓我度過了一個愉快的夜晚。雖然之後我會跟Ed討論一下的職業和offer的問題，那一晚，他對的我第一印象是了解了我是一個什麼樣的人。

現在，我也成了一名高管，平時會參加年輕人組織的一些活動，我的態度跟Ed差不多。我不會把這些看作是商業活動，也許這些活動是商業導向的，但我想做的是放鬆。這些活動中很重要的一部分就是跟年輕人們交流，跟有趣的年輕人交流。那些最有趣和最讓我開心的談話往往不是和商業有關的，而是些私人談話。

與高層人士建立聯繫可以改變你的生活。你永遠不知道他們怎麼看你或是否對你感興趣。但是，不要帶著很強的目的性去接近他們，做好自己，聊些個人的事情將更容易給他們留下深刻的印象。就像我跟Ed Young一樣，希望你們之間也能擦出火花，然後他們找到你有趣的點。 作為當年的菜鳥和現在的高管，這些便是我能分享的社交活動中給高管們留下深刻的影響和建立聯繫的技巧。

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How To Make A Strong Impression On High-Level People At A Dinner Event

Here』s a story that I hope can help many young professionals who don』t know how to engage high-level people at a business or social function. It』s about how I was able to make an impression at a dinner event on a senior executive who changed my life. Our talk that night led to my eventually working for him, which led to my expat transfer from the U.S. to Asia over 20 years ago. In sharing this story, I also want to highlight four tips on how to talk to and make an impression on a high-level person.

Quick background. I was around 28 at the time. I was also a 2nd year MBA and the president of the Asian Management Students Association (AMSA) at UCLA. AMSA organizes an annual business conference featuring Asian-American business leaders. One of our speakers was Ed Yang, an Executive Vice President at Wang Computers, a leading U.S. technology company back then. I happened to sit next to Ed during the dinner with student organizers and guest speakers the night before the conference.

1) Be yourself – When we got to the restaurant, our tables weren』t ready yet. In fact, we were told we needed to wait for another 30 minutes. This wasn』t good. But when Ed arrived, he just said, 「Well, let』s go to the bar and have a drink then!」 So much for formalities.

We had spoken over the phone, but this was the first time I had met Ed. I immediately thought to myself, 「Hey, this guy isn』t formal. He likes to have a good time, so you should chill out too!」 Frankly, having a drink before our dinner was just the thing I needed to loosen up. Along with my more relaxed attitude, It was just the right combination to help me be myself.

2) You don』t have to talk business – When Ed and I sat down and began talking, I tried to keep our conversation light. I didn』t bring up any topics about his job or company or the IT industry. Not interesting, I thought. I just started with some easy questions, like, 「Do you do a lot of these talks to MBA students?」 「What other MBA programs have you spoken at?」 「Are there any particular MBA programs that have particularly impressed you?」

But after a while, our conversation somehow turned to sports and, in particular, tennis. Ed was a big tennis fan and tennis player. Fortunately, so was I. I could tell from his expression that this would be a good topic for me to talk to him about. So I did.

We shared our views on our favorite men』s players, women』s players, our own tennis games, even the brand of tennis racket we used. It wasn』t hard to enjoy talking to him, because we were both into it.

3）Share an honest opinion or point of view – At one point, Ed leaned back with a mischievous look and said, 「Do you think you can beat me?」

I could have said, 「No, I don』t think so.」 But instead, I leaned back, gave him a similar look, and just said, 「Yeh, I think so.」 「Really,」 he said. 「What makes you think so?」 So without overthinking it, I started to tell him.

「Well, you』re a lot taller than me, so I』m sure you have a big serve. But I』m just going to block it and get the ball back. My game is speed, so I』m just going to keep the ball in play and run down everything you hit across the net to me.」

Then being a little cheeky, I said, 「And frankly, I』m a lot younger so I』m pretty sure I』m in better shape than you. So I』m going to also move you side to side until you start getting tired and making mistakes. And that』s how I』ll win.」

I said all this in a way that wasn』t arrogant or cocky, but in a way that was both playful and self-confident in a knowledgeable, reasonable way. From the way he smiled as he listened to me, I could tell that Ed found my whole analysis of how I』d play against him interesting and entertaining.

4) Be likeable –Later that evening, Ed asked me how I felt about the conference tomorrow. I told him that, actually, I was pretty nervous about it and that organizing an event like this was something I had never done before. I let him know that before business school, I was a fairly typical, nerdy R&D engineer who spent most of my day sitting in front of a computer and who got nervous speaking in front of others.

「Really, I wouldn』t have guessed that if you hadn』t told me this,」 he said. He began asking me questions about myself, like why I decided to become an engineer in the first place. And why I wanted to change my career now. I told him about my awakening from my first trip to China with my grandmother. And how from the trip, I knew that I wasn』t doing something that was using the talent and opportunities I had. I was just being honest and open about myself, which I could feel that Ed liked.

When the dinner ended and just before Ed went to his car, he turned to me and said. 「Well, listen, you』ve got me curious. We』ve got to play tennis sometime. Call my secretary after the conference and let』s arrange to do that.」 A couple of weeks later, I went to Ed』s country club one Saturday morning and we played two sets with each other. Who won is another interesting story!

To be honest, before the dinner, I really had no other objective than not to embarrass myself over dinner. Because I had never sat next to and talked to someone as senior as Ed Yang before, especially for an entire evening. But what I discovered that night was that high-level people are highly successful for a reason. Most have very good people and communication skills. Not only that, they』re also quite down-to-earth, personable, charming, and generous. So actually, by not trying so hard and staying relaxed during our conversation, the whole evening turned out a lot better for me. Although Ed would later talk to me about my career and make me a job offer, his first impression of me over dinner that night was much more about what kind of person I was.

Now that I』m a senior executive myself who attends events hosted by young professionals, I have the same outlook as Ed back then. When I go to these events, I don』t approach them as business events. While the event may be business oriented, I mainly want to enjoy myself. A big part of that is meeting and speaking to young, interesting people. And many of the most interesting and enjoyable conversations to me aren』t about business. They』re personal.

Making a connection with senior level people can change your life. You never know what they』re thinking or interested in about you. But rather than approach them with a hardcore objective in mind, your chances of making a deeper impression on them are much better by being yourself and being personal. And like my situation with Ed Yang, hopefully, your chemistry with them will come out and they』ll find you interesting enough to take an interest in you. This is what I can tell you about making an impression and building a relationship with a senior executive during a business or social gathering, from both sides of the encounter.