《體內的鐘聲》

　　一個女孩子，她的一切都普普通通，除了她體內有一盞鍾。

　　她盡量裝作普普通通的樣子，做著一個普通人會做的所有事情。

　　不過，她還是擔心體內的那盞鍾。她在任何時候都想著這個問題，走路的時候想，吃飯的時候想，上班的時候也想。

　　只有睡覺的時候她不會去想體內的那盞鍾。不過每當她睡著之後，她就真的成了一盞鍾，每到了早晨，應該起床的時候，她體內的鐘聲就會響起來，把她從睡夢中喚醒。

　　這樣過了很多年，有一次，她終於變得有些不耐煩了，試著去擰自己身上的發條。發條的手柄就在她的後背上，她摸得著，卻看不見，但是她不用去看它，就能把它擰緊了，她還是第一次親手去擰自己體內的發條呢，吱吱嘎嘎，吱吱嘎嘎。

　　之後一整天，她在緊張中度過，卻沒發生什麼事。

　　第二天，她仍然有些緊張，但也沒有發生什麼事。

　　第三天，她終於放鬆下來，可是已累得無法抑制。

　　中午，她在單位的辦公桌上睡著了，之前她是從來不在單位的辦公桌上睡覺的。

　　她睡得很香，一點夢都沒有做，她的頭腦里全被睡眠佔滿了。

　　一陣鐘聲響起來，所有人都嚇了一跳。朝聲音發出的地方望去：那個女孩子睜開眼睛，站了起來。她的臉上還滿是困意，睡眼惺松，不過她仍然強打著精神站起來，朝著辦公室外走去，步伐踉蹌。

　　所有人都在望著她，不知道她要去哪兒。她一步一步向外面走去，每走一步，就不知從哪兒發出吱吱嘎嘎的聲音。

　　當她走到門檻那兒的時候，她停了下來，身體顫抖著，發齣劇烈的響聲。她慢慢抬起一隻腳，想要從門檻上邁過去，但是還沒有達到門檻的高度就停了下來，再也抬不上去了。停了一下，她把這隻腳放下來，又開始抬另一隻腳，但另一隻腳也是同樣。

　　她就那樣反反覆復地嘗試著，眼皮半開半閉，一副睡意朦朧的樣子。

　　一個同事喊起了她：

　　「小Q，你這是怎麼了？」

　　「啊！」她應了一聲，轉過了頭，一雙白鐵皮做的眼睛睜得大大的，然後一聲驚叫從她體內發出來。人們看著她的身體筆直地，朝著辦公室地面倒下去。

　　一聲轟響之後，一雙白鐵皮做的眼珠子蹦了起來，在辦公室里堅硬的地面上不停地彈跳，一個追逐著另一個。不久，其中的一個裂成了兩半，另外一個也緊跟著裂成了兩半。兩個眼珠子變成了四個，仍然跟剛才一樣跳動著，不過已經有些混亂，看不出跳動的規律了。之後它們在不斷地分裂，四個變成了八個，八個變成了十六個，十六個變成了三十二個……

　　人們不知道它們是怎麼變化，以致於最後他們根本看不見它們的。他們看見的，只是一個毫髮未變的辦公室，還有站在辦公室里的驚愕的他們本人。

　　人們最開始還會爭論她到底是怎麼消失的，後面慢慢地就相信其實並沒有這麼一個人，所謂的女孩子不過是大家的臆想，而所謂的白鐵皮做的眼珠，更是無稽之談。等到新進的員工佔據了中間那張空出來的辦公桌後，這件傳聞也就湮沒無聲了。倒是那個新進員工有一天聽說了這件事，就開始不停地問東問西。那個員工其實就是我了，我在聽說那件傳聞之後，把那張桌子從裡到外仔仔細細地翻了個遍，最後還是什麼也沒有發現。

英文：

The Internal Clock

By Ma Er

Translated by Ran Wei

There was a girl about whom everything was ordinary, except for the clock inside of her.

She tried her best to appear normal, and to do everything a normal person would do.

However, she was still worried about that internal clock. She thought about it all the time. She kept thinking about it when she was walking, when she was eating, and even when she was at work.

The only time she didn』t think about the clock was when she slept. But whenever she fell asleep, she became a real clock, and when morning came and it was time to get up, the internal clock would start ringing, waking her up from her dreams.

A few years went by, until one day she finally became impatient and tried to wind herself up. The handle was right on her back—she could touch it, but could not see it. However, she did not need to see it to do the winding. It was the first time she did it herself. Zzgg, Zzgg.

The next day she was very nervous, but nothing happened.

On the second day, she was still nervous, but still nothing happened.

On the third day, she finally relaxed, but she was exhausted beyond control.

At noon, she fell asleep at her desk in the office. She never slept at the desk before.

She slept soundly and dreamlessly, her mind filled with sleep.

Suddenly the clock rang and gave everybody a start. They looked in the direction of the sound: The girl opened her eyes and stood up. Her face wore an expression of sleepiness, but she forced herself to stand up and walk toward the door, stumbling along the way.

Everybody stared at her, but didn』t t know where she was going. She made her way out step by step. With each step, something squeaked from god-knows-where.

When she reached the door, the girl stopped. Her body trembled and made a tremendous noise. She lifted one foot and tried to cross the threshold, but the foot stopped in mid air before it could cross and could not go any higher. She paused, put down that foot and tried the other foot, but the same thing happened.

She tried again and again, with her eyelids half open, looking drowsy and confused.

A colleague called out:

「Q, what』s the matter with you?」

「Ah!」 She replied and turned her head, her tin eyes wide open, and then a scream came from inside of her body. People stared as she fell straight to the ground, face down on the office floor.

After a loud crashing sound, a pair of tin eyeballs fell out and bounced on the hard office floor, one chasing the other. Shortly after, one of them split in two, and then so did the other. The two eyeballs became four and bounced as before, but the motion was a bit confused and out of beat. They kept splitting afterward, from four to eight, from eight to sixteen, from sixteen to thirty two…

The people in the office didn』t know how it happened, that in the end they could see nothing at all. All they saw was an unchanged office, and themselves standing shocked in the middle of it.

In the beginning people would still talk about her disappearance, but gradually they came to believe that such a person never existed in the first place. They said the girl was only an illusion, and the talk of tin eyeballs was completely ridiculous. When a new employee took over the empty desk in the middle of the office, even the legend faded away. One day the new employee heard about the story and started asking around. That new employee was actually me. I searched the desk from inside out after hearing about the story, but could not find anything.

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　完成於2015年，發表於2016年《麻辣》雜誌

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