這六種人來找我做職業諮詢，對不起，我幫不了你

02-01

過去20多年裡，我一直致力於為中國的職場人士提供職業指導和建議諮詢服務，也成功幫助過多類求職者獲得優秀的工作機遇，實現自己職業目標，取得進一步的成功。這些求職者中各有特點：有的看重薪水待遇，有的尋求工作穩定，有的關心職業機遇，有的在意工作和生活平衡，有的追求發揮價值意義，當然也有的資歷尚淺、經驗不足，跳槽頻繁，迷惘彷徨。

可是，有一部分求職者我是拒絕給他們提供建議的。因為不管你怎麼建議，他們要麼不具備事業成功的正確心態或思想，要麼過於好高騖遠難以接受他人幫助自己又不願改正。根據我的經驗，給以下這六種人提供職業諮詢建議是很困難的。

奢求保證 - 在當今這個節奏快速、日新月異的的世界裡，沒有什麼是一成不變的。雖然我們在做出職業改變時總是希望將風險最低化，這一點合情合理，但是我們必須認識到風險是無法根除且客觀存在的。可是這種人一方面不斷重訴自己希望改善或改變處境的決心，另一方面卻妄想得到保證一切事情如你描述地那般進展。非常不幸的是，事實並非盡如人意。
鼠目寸光 - 你今天所做的每一個決定和行動都會影響你將來的成就。我時常對求職者說：「事業是長久的」。但就是有些人鼠目寸光，只看到眼前或短期利益。他們從不會把目光放得長遠，因此最終只會陷入僵局，一敗塗地。
安於現狀 - 有些人只有在自己熟悉的環境中才會感到安逸，雖然自己不喜歡這樣的環境卻不想離開舒適區。他們抱怨老闆不好、企業文化差、或發展機會少，可無論你提出什麼樣的建議，他們總是莫名其妙地找到理由說服自己繼續保持原狀。
過分消極 - 這些人很容易區分，你無論怎麼說，他們最終都會說「但是.......」。通常，在這之後他們會提出自己的疑問、表明自己的關注點，進而提出借口或理由反駁為什麼你的建議不適用於自己。對於這種總愛說「但是」的人，你要小心。這種人不但喜歡質疑你的建議，還熱衷於給自己的失敗找借口。
妄想簡單粗暴的解決方式 - 我在給予職業生涯意見時總是嘗試著和求職者分享一些優秀的職業理念和方法，希望以此能給他們指明正確的方向，讓他們在面對各自問題時能夠得到一點小啟發。可是有些人卻總是妄想得到一些可以直接應用到實際問題中幫助自己取得夢寐以求的結果的方法。他們希望答案簡單，方法輕鬆，自己不費吹灰之力。

坦率地說，我從來沒有聽說過任何有助於事業成功的工具或現成的實現職業目標的方法存在。要想成功，別無他法，你只有切切實實地努力。愛拼才會贏！

想要你告訴他應該怎麼做 - 我並不是在說那些真心詢問我建議和看法的人，而是指問我「你覺得我該怎麼做」或者「你覺得這會是個不錯的選擇嗎」的那種人，他們的自我意識極低。無論是我還是別人在給意見，你必須清楚一點，只有你自己才最了解你自己。當然，從別人那裡獲得一些想法和建議的確有益，但你最終必須意識到，「別人不是你自己」。

如果你也像我一樣對職業發展和培訓有興趣，那麼現在將會是一個絕佳的時機進入這個市場。就我個人而言，我真心享受並且盡最大努力地為他人提供我所能提供的最好的職業指導和建議。然而，湯姆克魯斯在他的一部老電影里《甜心先生》他曾對他的客戶強調過的一句名言「 Help me Help You!" 所以，在尋求職業諮詢時，請首先確保你自己不屬於上述幾類人。你要保持開放包容的心態，腳踏實地，虛心接受意見，千萬不要讓那些可以幫助你而且願意花時間嘗試為你解憂的人認為他們幫不了你。

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The 6

Types Of People I Cant Help As A Career Advisor

During my 20+ years of providing career guidance and

advice, I』ve helped many types of candidates get into better job situations,

attain their career objectives, and achieve greater success. This includes ones who only care about money,

who seek stability, who want more opportunity, who value work/life balance, who

want to do meaningful things, who lack the typical qualifications and/or

experience to do something, who have jumpy resumes, and who are lost and

confused.

However, there are certain candidates I just can』t

help. No matter what you tell them, they

either don』t have the right mindset or idea about how career success happens,

or are too far removed from reality to be coached. Based on my experience,

these six types are that I』ve found are very difficult to help.

1) The ones who want guarantees – While it』s

reasonable to want to minimize your risk factors whenever making a job change

or career move, you can』t eliminate them.

These people will tell you how much they want to improve or change their

situation, but only if you assure them that everything will happen exactly as described. Unfortunately, it doesn』t work that way.

2) The ones who only consider the short-term– Every

decision, everything you do today impacts what you』ll be able to do and achieve

tomorrow. I always tell candidates, 「Your

career lasts a long time」. But some

people never think beyond the immediate or short-term. They never see the future coming and end up

in dead-end or highly undesirable job situations.

3) The ones who aren』t willing to change – Some

people just don』t want to leave their comfort

zone, even if they don』t like it. They

complain about their boss, company, or lack of development opportunities, but

whatever you tell them they somehow find a way to justify staying where they

are longer.

4) The ones who are overly negative – These people are easy to recognize because

everything you tell them they respond with the word, 「but」. Usually, that』s followed by a doubt, concern,

excuse, or reason why your advice doesnt apply to them. Be careful of 「but」 people. Their basic orientation is to question

whatever you say and tell you why they can』t do something,

5) The ones who want a simple, easy formula – When giving career advice, I try to share

sound career concepts and approaches that point people in the right direction, or and provide tips for

their situation. But some people just

want you to give them a formula that they can apply and achieve the result they

want. They want it to be simple, easy,

and painless.

Frankly, I』ve never heard

of any career success toolkit

or ready-made formula for attaining your career objectives. Achieving the success you want is earned through hard

work and effort.

6) The ones who want you to tell them what they

should do – I』m not talking about those who want my

insights or advice on something, but those who

ask me questions like, 「What industry do you think I should go into」, or 「Do

you think this is a good job for me?」

Their self-awareness is just too low.

Whether it』s me or someone else giving the advice, you』ve got to know

yourself better than anyone else. Getting input and recommendations from others is

helpful, but at the end of the day, 「They』re not you」.

Personally, I genuinely enjoy and try my best to provide the best career guidance and

tips I can to others. However, there』s a famous line from an old Tom Cruise

movie, called Jerry Mcquire, where he

says emphatically to his client, 「Help me, help you!」 If you』re someone who is seeking

career advice from others, make sure you』re not

one of the above types. Be open-minded,

realistic, and coachable. Otherwise, the

people who may be able to help you and actually take the time to try to do it

are quickly going to view you as someone that they

cannot help.

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For more great career development and career success-related expertise, insights, and advice, follow Larry Wang on Wechat, at <wangliyazhou>.

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