談話的藝術 談話時要避免的9個禁忌話題

真正的淑女或紳士，說起話來必定是很有教養的。談話是一門很細微的藝術：如何顯示出自身的教養，如何讓對方感覺受到尊重，如何讓每個人都參與到談話中等等都需要十分注意。具有良好教養的紳士淑女們在談話時，可以避免談論一些敏感的話題，既能維護自身良好的素質和形象，又能避免不必要的衝突。接下來我們一起來看一下哪些話題是需要避免的吧！

Being a true lady or gentleman necessarily go through having a distinguished conversation. This is a sophisticated art with multiple subtleties: how to enhance your intelligence, how to make your guest feel witty and special, how to incorporate everyone in the discussion etc. And of course, there are some topics we better avoid to talk about, in order to remain polite, present a good image of yourself and avoid conflicts. This is why I propose you a review about these taboo topics.

1. 宗教問題

Religion

談論宗教問題是很危險的。因為討論宗教信仰會讓人們變得激動且容易失去理智。有些人傾向於勸說別人跟隨自己的宗教信仰，或者像傳教一般不停地談論自己因為信仰而生活得多麼幸福，這種情況會讓那些無宗教信仰的客人感到不適。

Discussions about religion may be dangerous because they may drive people to speak with passion and no longer with their reason. Some of your guests may wish to convert the other to their faith, or expose how happy they are thanks to their beliefs, which will make the non-believer uncomfortable.

如何應對：不要談論自己的信仰，也不要詢問他人的信仰。如果別人對您聊起自己的信仰，只需禮貌地表示尊重，避免繼續深入討論這個話題。

How to handle this topic:Avoid to open yourself about your beliefs or to ask about someone religion if you are not with close friends or relatives. If someone tell you about his faith, show a polite interest without going too far.

2. 家庭問題

Family

家庭話題。表面上看家庭話題似乎不屬於禁忌話題，但是在不熟悉的朋友間卻是敏感話題。「你結婚了嗎？」這樣問話會讓那些處于敏感年紀，或者家庭關係破裂即將離婚的人士感到非常不適；「你父母還好嗎？」萬一對方從小就沒有父母或者父母已經過世，這樣問會不會讓對方很尷尬呢？「你有孩子嗎？」萬一對方無法育有子女呢？

Yes, family. It』s trickier than what it seems. This is a no-go with a person you have been recently acquainted with. The reason why? 「Are you married?」 The person in front of you may be ashamed not the be married at his / her age, or about to divorce. 「How are your parents?」 What if he lost his parents at a young age, or if they are dead? 「Do you have children?」 What if he or she tried and couldn』t have any? It would be a painful reminder.

如何應對：即使您真的很感興趣，也最好不要問及家庭的問題。或者可以嘗試比較委婉地詢問：「你春節時候要拜訪很多親戚朋友嗎」，這樣對方就可以選擇詳細回答或僅僅簡單告知。

How to handle this topic: Don』t ask direct questions regarding family, even if you are sincerely interested into knowing this person. You may ask indirect one 「Are you meeting any family for the spring festival?」, in order to let him/her the choice on how deep an answer to give you.

3. 外貌與種族問題

Races and physical appearance

有些人外貌特徵明顯：大鼻子，小眼睛，寬肩膀，皮膚很黑或很白等。有教養的淑女紳士是不會依據外貌深究或評判一個人的種族，儘管您可能對種族問題並沒有任何偏見。如果一個人外貌特徵十分明顯，那麼您肯定不是第一個注意到他/她外貌的人。想像一下，很可能對方已經被問及很多次這個問題，那麼如果您的再次詢問，會讓對方感到多麼不舒服。

There are some types of people with bigger noses, smaller eyes, larger shoulders, darker or brighter skin etc. And it is the duty of a lady or a gentleman not to underline it, even if you don』t have prejudiced against it. The reason is simple, if you see someone who is having an unusual appearance you are probably not the first one having noticed it and questioned this person. Imagine how annoying for him/her it should be.

如何應對: 很簡單，即使是表示稱讚或讚美，也不要探討外貌和種族問題。

How to handle this topic:That simple, we don』t talk about it at all, even for making compliments.

4. 金錢問題

Money

金錢和財富是新晉富人所熱衷的話題。傳統富人對這個話題非常敏感，因為談論財富有一種炫耀的意味。無論是談論自己的財富或是談論他人的財富，都不會給對方留下好印象。良好的教養是人自身所體現出來的，而不是通過金錢和財富來衡量的。所以不要炫耀自己的房子，車子，衣服或傢具等等是花了多少錢買來的。

Money is the typical discussion of nouveau-riches, what we would call 「new money」. Old money people are very allergic to this topic, and consider it as show-off. Talking about your money or someone else』s money won』t make your discussion interesting for your guests (or not for good reasons). They should appreciate you for what you are and not what you have. We should then not explicitly tell how much did we buy our house, car, clothes, furniture etc.

如何應對：不要提及自己買東西花了多少錢，而且注意盡量不要詢問別人所買物品的價格。

How to handle this topic:Never mention precisely the amount you spent, and be careful when asking the price of something owned by someone else.

5. 閑話緋聞

Gossips

我們在「優雅淑女禮儀」文章中已經提到過這個話題。背地說人閑話的人，會給人不可信的感覺。今天能跟你議論別人的不好，明天也有可能議論你的不好。避免閑話，討論一些更有趣的話題吧。

We mentioned it in a previous article, if you talk about gossips the people in front of you may think you would potentially gossip about them with somebody else. Simply avoid it, there are topics of bigger interest.

如何應對：如果別人想和您聊一些這方面的話題，只需要禮貌地聽就好。不要繼續深入討論，並且儘快儘可能轉換話題。

How to handle this topic:if somebody is gossiping with you, just listen politely but avoid to push the discussion further, simply change the topic when possible.

6. 年輕人

Today』s youth

很多人都會忽略這是一個禁忌話題。相信您一定聽到過有些人抱怨「現在的年輕人，一點也不尊重別人/只顧著看手機/道德素質差/只會玩遊戲」。新一代的行為習慣等等通常是建立在老一代基礎上，同時又與老一代相對。對新生一代行為習慣的批評，可能讓人覺得您不能接納新生事物，而且不夠寬容。

This is a taboo many people ignore. I am sure you heard many times someone complaining about 「today』s youth, they have no respect / they are only watching their phones / they have poor moral values / they like stupid games…」 A new generation builds its value with the older values but also against them. Protesting about the new habits of the young generation shows an incapacity in adaptation and a low tolerance.

如何應對：碰見這種情況，您可以委婉地表示現在的年輕人並沒有那麼壞，他們身上也有很多優秀的品質。

How to handle this topic:if someone complains about today』s youth, gently remind him/her this generation cannot be so bad and probably has many qualities.

7. 政治和愛國

Politics and patriotism

政治和愛國主義大概是最危險的話題。探討這個話題，也會讓人情緒激動失去理智。除非你與某人非常親近，否則不要談論這類話題。

Is there any more dangerous topic? Here as well people may talk with their passion, and no longer reason. Unless you are very close with that person, simply avoid it.

如何應對：如果有人跟您談論政治，就要非常注意，請儘快轉換話題。

How to handle this topic:You need to be very careful if someone starts talking about politics, you may listen politely and take the first opportunity to change the topic.

8. 爭議話題

Controversial topics

墮胎，女權，同性戀，歷史遺留問題等等很多具有爭議性的問題也會讓人情緒激動：強烈支持或強烈反對。不要試圖跟人辯論這些話題，過激地辯論也會毀掉晚宴的氣氛。

Abortion, women』s right, homosexual rights, historical problems etc. The list is long, and here again people may become passionate: strongly for or strongly against. Don』t take any risk or be ready to fight and potentially ruin the ambiance of the dinner.

如何應對：禮貌傾聽通常是最好的解決辦法。回應對方時注意措辭，委婉而禮貌，避免深入探討這些話題。

How to handle this topic:Listening politely is often a kind solution, try to find some nice words to show empathy to your friend』s opinion, but avoid to drive the topic any further.

9. 性，疾病，死亡

Sex, diseases, death

這三個話題會讓所有人都感到不適。談論這些，會讓人們感到震驚，會讓剛失去親人的人悲從中來，甚至會顯得粗俗或病態。

I will combine these three topics together for the obvious reason they will make everybody not at ease. Some may be shocked, some may be sad if they lost a relative, some may demonstrate some inappropriate taste for morbidity or vulgarity.

如何應對：這時無需猶豫，您可以直接幽默地轉移到別的話題。比如「快看快看，你們看到了嗎？剛剛我看到一隻黃色的大象。你們沒看到嗎？啊對了，我們剛剛說什麼來著？你假期打算幹什麼？」

How to handle this topic:This time there is no need to politely listen, you could with a joke say there must some many better discussions, or suddenly shout a way out: 「oh look outside! Did you see it? I』m sure I saw an yellow elephant. No? Anyway, what were we talking about? Ah yes, your next vacations plans」.

幽默是處理尷尬情形的最好幫手。希望以上這些建議對您有所幫助。如果有任何問題，歡迎隨時與我們聯繫！

Humour is almost always the best solution to get out of an uncomfortable situation and to show how witty you are. Again, I hope our advice have been useful. Please do not hesitate to write us for any question!

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